Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands
- Thread starter sic
- Start date
after reading the threads, sometimes i just wonder how to regain the trust back again ....
its like its so tough ...
after i discovered my hubby's chat logs on girls n all that & he likes to talk abt girls to friends and so on & he can have to cheek to tell me that he is lonely & sometimes the words he says are just flowery words since he is a MAN & he is in sales line ...
errhmm... no decent guys in sales line meh?
its like its so tough ...
after i discovered my hubby's chat logs on girls n all that & he likes to talk abt girls to friends and so on & he can have to cheek to tell me that he is lonely & sometimes the words he says are just flowery words since he is a MAN & he is in sales line ...
errhmm... no decent guys in sales line meh?
Dear sisters, I started this thread in Oct 2007. Then, my husband was with his mistress for just one year. Now they are still together, and it is the fourth year. I am also still in the marriage and I will continue to do so. I have "lost" my husband, but I do not want my three children to "lose" their father. Children will always need their father, whatever he does.
I also need my children. If I would separate from my husband, the family would live apart and there would be many times, when I cannot be with my children.
I now know that my husband brought this situation onto us, not me, if I leave him, that would be exactly what he wants. I will not do him this favour. Hence I stay, where I belong and let him figure this out.
I stopped reading this thread, and I never started a support group, because I could not take so much pain, the pain of all you ladies who go through the same grief.
It is a grieving process.
I found my joy and strength again through Jesus Christ.
I also need my children. If I would separate from my husband, the family would live apart and there would be many times, when I cannot be with my children.
I now know that my husband brought this situation onto us, not me, if I leave him, that would be exactly what he wants. I will not do him this favour. Hence I stay, where I belong and let him figure this out.
I stopped reading this thread, and I never started a support group, because I could not take so much pain, the pain of all you ladies who go through the same grief.
It is a grieving process.
I found my joy and strength again through Jesus Christ.
sigh! Ms A S, stop lying to uself.
u're nt leaving him bcos u love him too much & cant bear to do so. ur children will nt lost their father, even if u divorce.
pls have the courage to face up to ur real feeling. if u cant leave him, then u gotta turn a blind eyes to his flings.
and if u choose to turn blind to tat, pls counsel urself & accept tat fact tat u cant have 100% of ur hubby. is either u share w other woman or u lose him totally.
only by facing up to ur true self, jesus then can help u. god might have give u strength but it definitely din bring u the joy u expect.
when i read ur tread i can feel ur emo.
pls release the grief if u want to continue in the marriage.
"I now know that my husband brought this situation onto us, not me, if I leave him, that would be exactly what he wants. I will not do him this favour. Hence I stay, where I belong and let him figure this out. "
by leaving him, u' re nt doing his way, instead u're building or finding back a new you.
new you = happier, independent, confident & therefore attractive person.
by sticking ard him, u sounded depressed. u lose urself.
i believe when ur children grow up in future, they would wish tat u would have divorce & pursue ur own happiness.
u're nt leaving him bcos u love him too much & cant bear to do so. ur children will nt lost their father, even if u divorce.
pls have the courage to face up to ur real feeling. if u cant leave him, then u gotta turn a blind eyes to his flings.
and if u choose to turn blind to tat, pls counsel urself & accept tat fact tat u cant have 100% of ur hubby. is either u share w other woman or u lose him totally.
only by facing up to ur true self, jesus then can help u. god might have give u strength but it definitely din bring u the joy u expect.
when i read ur tread i can feel ur emo.
pls release the grief if u want to continue in the marriage.
"I now know that my husband brought this situation onto us, not me, if I leave him, that would be exactly what he wants. I will not do him this favour. Hence I stay, where I belong and let him figure this out. "
by leaving him, u' re nt doing his way, instead u're building or finding back a new you.
new you = happier, independent, confident & therefore attractive person.
by sticking ard him, u sounded depressed. u lose urself.
i believe when ur children grow up in future, they would wish tat u would have divorce & pursue ur own happiness.
My gf was married since 2009. 21 feb... And last year have there wedding dinner 20-03-11. Yet thing change after all. I feel like a nightmare on. After meet this getai Chen Xiao xin and thing happend a broken married of them. Husband and Xiao xin getai singer was together up to hurt the wife deep deep by there stupid way. Keep sent the wife photo and SMS of them thing to make the wife cannt take it. I understand my gf pain inside her heart. She knw her husband since 2003 for 9 year . Yet treat her this way both of them use to be very close fre and stay in same location of there house. My gf happend her sickness now husband leave her and hurt her this way how a women could take all this by her ownself. She cannt slp and eat worry and scare of all those thing the husband and the Xiao xin wan to do to her. Why must treat my gf this sad way when my gf so in love deep with we husband for 9 year love. Husband beat my gf for more then 6 time up even end in hospital b4. But my gf forgive him few time and stil with him. Yet hurt a 软的女人.. Even my gf chose to be forgive her husband that time when she find up got this Xiao xin . She told alot of fre even infornt of her husband and the women . She stil hope her husband to be back and save the marriage. Husband fre told my gf dnt be silly women this kind of man forget about it not use anymore. How he hurt u we are guy see Liao also not happy. Even the husband knw very well wife love him so much and he stil make way to hurt my gf more deep . When my gf with her husband time her husband is no money de. My gf dnt mind spent with him together all those hard time an nv leave him stil chose to marry him. Together dem those wind wind rain rain time. Then thing change. Husband got money Liao treat her like hell spent his money on the women and buy her lv bag Rolex watch Gucci shoe and go japan holiday. When my gf apply for money in family court husband say no money all this and tt yet stil can bring tt women go Japan holiday . This kind of husband see the way he did to my gf yet stil make her til no way.
elmobabygal
Member
is there any divorce support grp for women?
Married Ladies, we all have to come to terms with this kinda social ills that is happening.
Don't you think that nowadays there are so many cases of infidelity? In fact, 8 of 10 marriages, husband will be unfaithful, or vice versa.
Men are cheap, women are loose. So ... it's just a social ill that turn to a norm.
I cannot accept it, but so what? It's happening to me, to many many many others too.
Don't you think that nowadays there are so many cases of infidelity? In fact, 8 of 10 marriages, husband will be unfaithful, or vice versa.
Men are cheap, women are loose. So ... it's just a social ill that turn to a norm.
I cannot accept it, but so what? It's happening to me, to many many many others too.
thegoodwife
New Member
Too many cases happening. So dis-heartening. I went thru this roller coaster ride for 2 years!!!!! In this 2 years, he said he wanted the family for 1000 times. He never kept his words. For the very first time, he said he is ready to want the PRC and she wants him too! I hope he dun change his mind again. He has picked me up and smashed me down too many times.
I want to seek advices from u all strong ladies, how do u hold back your tears when u felt betrayed & hurt? My tears keep rolling for the past 2 days... My kids notice it & my colleagues also notice my red & puffy eyes. I'm so hurt deep inside & yet need to tell lies to them & put up a smilling face.
I really wanted to end my life so that i dont feel hurt anymore.
I really wanted to end my life so that i dont feel hurt anymore.
Hi Madeline, i think it is a shortcut to stop my heart pain. I know times will heal but i am impatient. I was very down yesterday but i still alive today , i guess i am stronger now. Thanks.
Hi Taitai, i did downloaded this apps into his iphone4 two years ago. He realised it and said his phone missing & then changed it to samsung already. I am not familiar with samsung.
Hi Taitai, i did downloaded this apps into his iphone4 two years ago. He realised it and said his phone missing & then changed it to samsung already. I am not familiar with samsung.
hello everybody.
I need help too.
my husband confess got china mistress and stop contact because want wife and kids. but I just saw his hp got this logo and when I ask my friend she told me its QQ. Used for chat. Its the outline of a penguin.
May I know how to install QQ on my on android phone?
How to check who he is chatting with? Is it not possible if I don't have his QQ number?
I don't want to be betrayed and lied to again and again.
Seeking help from sisters here!
I need help too.
my husband confess got china mistress and stop contact because want wife and kids. but I just saw his hp got this logo and when I ask my friend she told me its QQ. Used for chat. Its the outline of a penguin.
May I know how to install QQ on my on android phone?
How to check who he is chatting with? Is it not possible if I don't have his QQ number?
I don't want to be betrayed and lied to again and again.
Seeking help from sisters here!
mummy_darling
Member
Needless to say. If he every month gives me the right allowance and also for the child maintenance I will close one eye. But if he doesn't, I will gather all the proof I have, hunt for a suitable lawyer and go for a divorce straight. No point continuing a marriage with a crack and the phobia is always there. There is once the more there will be more in the future. Lastly, I will not tolerate sharing my husban with another woman.
I have confronted him but no use one. He denied every proofs.
1) A piece of china brand condom was found in his luggage after his biz trip to china. He said it is not his. 'What u want me to explain if i do not know why it is in my luggage?' I hv tortured him for a whole week with sleepless nights but no result.
2) A year later i found out from his sms , the china woman said she very very miss him & ask when can she meet her again. He answered, currently he is busy, will meet her next time when there is a chance. Again i demanded his confess but he said she just a female friend. Will a normal opp sex friend will mention she misses him so much? What had he done to make her misses him so much? He just simply replied there is no affair between them and even question me cant he has any female friends ?
If u were me, what action will u take. These are obvious proofs yet he denied them. How? Hate those loose & cheap china women !
1) A piece of china brand condom was found in his luggage after his biz trip to china. He said it is not his. 'What u want me to explain if i do not know why it is in my luggage?' I hv tortured him for a whole week with sleepless nights but no result.
2) A year later i found out from his sms , the china woman said she very very miss him & ask when can she meet her again. He answered, currently he is busy, will meet her next time when there is a chance. Again i demanded his confess but he said she just a female friend. Will a normal opp sex friend will mention she misses him so much? What had he done to make her misses him so much? He just simply replied there is no affair between them and even question me cant he has any female friends ?
If u were me, what action will u take. These are obvious proofs yet he denied them. How? Hate those loose & cheap china women !
mummy_darling
Member
Hi Chris,
U can keep track of his SMS and emails etc. to keep as a proof. If u sees when his is going on overseas trips again, u can try to psycho him to let u join him. Or u can secretly follow him if u know his schedule or itinerary for overseas trip and hotel stay too. Try to monitor and see how it goes again ya.
U can keep track of his SMS and emails etc. to keep as a proof. If u sees when his is going on overseas trips again, u can try to psycho him to let u join him. Or u can secretly follow him if u know his schedule or itinerary for overseas trip and hotel stay too. Try to monitor and see how it goes again ya.
Ladies who are contemplating divorce ... please be firm on your decision.
Cause once you show your indecisiveness, that is when the man wins.
Chris, my man was exactly like yours. When all evidence is soooo clear, clearer than water, he still can deny with his eyes wide open. Such bastards .... y can't the heavens punish such people???
I believe in 报应, yet I do not see the man being punished. I am so afraid that my boys will have to carry the retributions of their dad. Scary?
I have come across cases whereby unfaithful men came to bad endings, some were shouldered by their children.
I live in fear that my kids will bear them.
Cause once you show your indecisiveness, that is when the man wins.
Chris, my man was exactly like yours. When all evidence is soooo clear, clearer than water, he still can deny with his eyes wide open. Such bastards .... y can't the heavens punish such people???
I believe in 报应, yet I do not see the man being punished. I am so afraid that my boys will have to carry the retributions of their dad. Scary?
I have come across cases whereby unfaithful men came to bad endings, some were shouldered by their children.
I live in fear that my kids will bear them.
Hi mummy darling, i follow him also no use. He will drop me at shopping malls at daytime 8am-7pm while he will go for his business meetings. Who knows, the taxi might have drove him to the woman's place instead of business place
. For the other suggestion that i secretly fly over is not working because he didnt book for any hotel in advance. He said there are plenty of hotels available.
if I have proof or best if he confess that they still in contact then I will file for divorce. I gave him the chance to mend things but he didn't treasure. by continuing to be with the woman, he is hurting me. he is hurting the mother of his kids.
is he fit to be a father? frankly I said no.
is he fit to be a husband? I said no too because he continued the acts of hurting his wife whom he claims he still wants to be with.
is he fit to be a man? I said no too because a man with proper values if want to continue cheating should just divorce the wife. end the legal obligation, end the emotional relationship instead of doing it behind her back. where is the integrity? I don't want my children to be brought up together with a man with no values.
yes, human made mistakes.
after you do, you admit it, you asked for forgiveness and a chance then you should do it right.
no ask and then hurt the same person over and over again.
this is just not right.
sigh...
is there no one who can help with my QQ questions?
I am not a tech person at all.
hope to get some help.
is he fit to be a father? frankly I said no.
is he fit to be a husband? I said no too because he continued the acts of hurting his wife whom he claims he still wants to be with.
is he fit to be a man? I said no too because a man with proper values if want to continue cheating should just divorce the wife. end the legal obligation, end the emotional relationship instead of doing it behind her back. where is the integrity? I don't want my children to be brought up together with a man with no values.
yes, human made mistakes.
after you do, you admit it, you asked for forgiveness and a chance then you should do it right.
no ask and then hurt the same person over and over again.
this is just not right.
sigh...
is there no one who can help with my QQ questions?
I am not a tech person at all.
hope to get some help.
Chris, I wish he could get his retribution and punishment now and not after death.
Such men should suffer now rather than later or upon death. Imagine men of such kind wake up one fine day and found out that he has erectile dysfunction .... how would he feel?
I wonder how would I feel?
Such men should suffer now rather than later or upon death. Imagine men of such kind wake up one fine day and found out that he has erectile dysfunction .... how would he feel?
I wonder how would I feel?
KitKatBreak
Member
Dear 2am,
There is a QQ app that you can install on the phone. To check on your husband's account, you will need to know the account number and password to access.
There is a QQ app that you can install on the phone. To check on your husband's account, you will need to know the account number and password to access.
Hello Michilin,
Thank you.
May I know what is the QQ app name?
I tried installing a few but none of them gave me the same symbol as the one shown at the top of his phone like Skype and watspp or viber. His is blue in colour, outlined of a penguin.
his account number and password... I doubt I can get it secretly.
I intend to confront him and ask for it outright.
If there is nothing to hide, he should give. If he refused then I guess there is nothing much more to say except that it is not legitimate and morally right.
If I have the password and the account number, does it mean I can access all chat history too?
In this case, it would be easier for me to make the decision to rid myself of this kind of bad man and to rid my children off a dishonourable father. He is not fit. A man who perpetually lies.
Thank you.
May I know what is the QQ app name?
I tried installing a few but none of them gave me the same symbol as the one shown at the top of his phone like Skype and watspp or viber. His is blue in colour, outlined of a penguin.
his account number and password... I doubt I can get it secretly.
I intend to confront him and ask for it outright.
If there is nothing to hide, he should give. If he refused then I guess there is nothing much more to say except that it is not legitimate and morally right.
If I have the password and the account number, does it mean I can access all chat history too?
In this case, it would be easier for me to make the decision to rid myself of this kind of bad man and to rid my children off a dishonourable father. He is not fit. A man who perpetually lies.
halo,
just joined this forum! my husband gave me a "shock" 3 months ago to end our relationship after we rom less than a year. As he "puppy love" gf come back to him! He married me just becox he think it is time to settle down! this really hurts me and he move to the gf's house on that day he say he wan to end the relationship.I really cannot believe that they actually started dating after that even he is my husband on paper!!!i'm thinking to get PI, anyone can recommend...just wan to get some evidences as bargain power.
just joined this forum! my husband gave me a "shock" 3 months ago to end our relationship after we rom less than a year. As he "puppy love" gf come back to him! He married me just becox he think it is time to settle down! this really hurts me and he move to the gf's house on that day he say he wan to end the relationship.I really cannot believe that they actually started dating after that even he is my husband on paper!!!i'm thinking to get PI, anyone can recommend...just wan to get some evidences as bargain power.
tanlengleng
Active Member
Joanne (myjisgal),
you may be one of the fortunate ones,
I had a friend who denounce her marriage after 3 months of ROM,
her status is "single" after that, not divorcee.
you may be one of the fortunate ones,
I had a friend who denounce her marriage after 3 months of ROM,
her status is "single" after that, not divorcee.
mummy_darling
Member
Hi Chris,
Dun harbor too much hope on a guy who choose to break ur heart once. I did forgive him and gave him another chance although we are not divorce yet. But guess what? One month later, he lied to me again and keep pushing me for a divorce. Guys cannot be trusted once they broke the vow and choose to have an affair behind their wife's back. How many times can u afford to forgive him? Even u forgive him but can u still trust him after that? Every woman needs a real man to love them. If this man really can't honor his words, den he is not a man of his words.
Dun harbor too much hope on a guy who choose to break ur heart once. I did forgive him and gave him another chance although we are not divorce yet. But guess what? One month later, he lied to me again and keep pushing me for a divorce. Guys cannot be trusted once they broke the vow and choose to have an affair behind their wife's back. How many times can u afford to forgive him? Even u forgive him but can u still trust him after that? Every woman needs a real man to love them. If this man really can't honor his words, den he is not a man of his words.
I have not divorce yet.
My story is same as dilemma33 back in year 2007.
He left to be with the 20 year old china girl and came back. Said want family and wife. But he say can't rekindle and also don't want to rekindle. just continue life like this mostly for kids.
I very sad also. struggle for the past year trying my best to rekindle and asking to rekindle. he only ask me to leave him alone. say if he will look after me and kids but don't expect affection or intimacy because he only see me as good friend.
very sad. china woman was terrible me.
she called my house in wee hours of the night and they chat throughout the night till early morning. she told me pity me because I have 2 kids so she don't mind being just his china wife.
I also lost. because I still love my husband and my kids when together with him are very happy. its just both of us don't work any more. he say don't because of us affect kids.
when I am nice, he tell me don't be nice to him cos he cannot reciprocate. how to rekindle? how to rebuild? when its only one party.
I wonder if I should even continue life like this just for kids. very sad everytime they communicate. now he don't do it infront of me I guess but I guess still contact although he said no more.
why the china woman want to do this?
I don't understand. she took away a father from 2 innocent kids and a loved one from a woman.
when can have retribution for such people?
My story is same as dilemma33 back in year 2007.
He left to be with the 20 year old china girl and came back. Said want family and wife. But he say can't rekindle and also don't want to rekindle. just continue life like this mostly for kids.
I very sad also. struggle for the past year trying my best to rekindle and asking to rekindle. he only ask me to leave him alone. say if he will look after me and kids but don't expect affection or intimacy because he only see me as good friend.
very sad. china woman was terrible me.
she called my house in wee hours of the night and they chat throughout the night till early morning. she told me pity me because I have 2 kids so she don't mind being just his china wife.
I also lost. because I still love my husband and my kids when together with him are very happy. its just both of us don't work any more. he say don't because of us affect kids.
when I am nice, he tell me don't be nice to him cos he cannot reciprocate. how to rekindle? how to rebuild? when its only one party.
I wonder if I should even continue life like this just for kids. very sad everytime they communicate. now he don't do it infront of me I guess but I guess still contact although he said no more.
why the china woman want to do this?
I don't understand. she took away a father from 2 innocent kids and a loved one from a woman.
when can have retribution for such people?
tanlengleng
Active Member
Joanne (myjisgal),
what is the concern here;
1. Hanging on to the marriage?
2. The wedding banquet?
3. Big lose for the new flat?
4. Be single again and not a divorcee?
http://singaporebrides.com/weddingforum/threads/how-to-annul-a-marriage-in-sg.4792/
http://singaporelegaladvice.com/how-to-annul-a-marriage/
what is the concern here;
1. Hanging on to the marriage?
2. The wedding banquet?
3. Big lose for the new flat?
4. Be single again and not a divorcee?
http://singaporebrides.com/weddingforum/threads/how-to-annul-a-marriage-in-sg.4792/
http://singaporelegaladvice.com/how-to-annul-a-marriage/
hi
i duno where to start, but its been the most torturous period of my life, having gone through numerous thefts of the husband, finding evidence of him sleeping around by joining gb parties (aka sex parties) outside to ultimately having a affair with his colleague. We have been married for 8 yrs but all along he felt that we had communication problem and i never knew what he wanted. 8 yrs! and after 2 kids, isn't it too late?!?
i duno where to start, but its been the most torturous period of my life, having gone through numerous thefts of the husband, finding evidence of him sleeping around by joining gb parties (aka sex parties) outside to ultimately having a affair with his colleague. We have been married for 8 yrs but all along he felt that we had communication problem and i never knew what he wanted. 8 yrs! and after 2 kids, isn't it too late?!?
newlife2010
Member
if he have changed, then maybe can work on the marriage
newlife2010
Member
staying with that women?