Single parents and how you cope with it
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parentswannabe
New Member
Hi, is everything ok?
NewBeginning4Me
New Member
Lots of mood swings but no matter what happens, my child will always bring a smile to me. I agree with kandykll, focus on your child and minimize as much changes as possible to him/her. They are also often more matured & perspective than you think, at least mine is.
As I go through the D, I realized I know less and less of the child's father that I had married to. The crap stories he conjured and all the personal matters he dragged into the court are disgusting. But it made me get over our good memories flashes much easier and I cried less and I became more determined to start a new life and fight. I had wished it would be an amicable split but else those seem to be fairy tales.
As I go through the D, I realized I know less and less of the child's father that I had married to. The crap stories he conjured and all the personal matters he dragged into the court are disgusting. But it made me get over our good memories flashes much easier and I cried less and I became more determined to start a new life and fight. I had wished it would be an amicable split but else those seem to be fairy tales.
NewBeginning4Me
New Member
I know how that feels. I cried a lot when I am alone but as days passed, I cried lesser but whenever any D correspondences came I sank into depression again.
Work is like a separate personality of me. It offers me sanctuary actually. The thing that kept it that way is 'cos I refused to share with anyone at work, even my best lunch buddies. I do not want to be asked or reminded of the D stuffs at work.
I worried about a lot of things that I did not need to worry about last time. Sometimes I doubted my decision but like I said earlier, the harder he makes it for me, the easier it is for me to get over him totally. An irony I know.
Most of the times now I cried 'cos I felt that I have short changed my kid of a complete family. Then again looking back, it was a complete but non-present family which did not make kid any happier. I felt kid is happier when we are happier, perhaps not together, but separate. But again I expect them to have mood swings up and down as well. I felt guilty towards my kid and at times, incompetent as mother but most importantly, I reminded myself not to over indulge kid and compensate the wrong way, if you know what I meant.
I read about comments about viscious cycle for kids growing up in single parent family and I cried. I read about strayed kids in single parent family and I cried. But all these made me more resolved to make sure that my kid growed up a a loved environment and is healthy, physically and mentally.
No matter what happens, I believed mothers are built to withstand any pressure for our kids and are there to protect them. We cannot control what happen next but I would do my best for my kid. You can too.
Work is like a separate personality of me. It offers me sanctuary actually. The thing that kept it that way is 'cos I refused to share with anyone at work, even my best lunch buddies. I do not want to be asked or reminded of the D stuffs at work.
I worried about a lot of things that I did not need to worry about last time. Sometimes I doubted my decision but like I said earlier, the harder he makes it for me, the easier it is for me to get over him totally. An irony I know.
Most of the times now I cried 'cos I felt that I have short changed my kid of a complete family. Then again looking back, it was a complete but non-present family which did not make kid any happier. I felt kid is happier when we are happier, perhaps not together, but separate. But again I expect them to have mood swings up and down as well. I felt guilty towards my kid and at times, incompetent as mother but most importantly, I reminded myself not to over indulge kid and compensate the wrong way, if you know what I meant.
I read about comments about viscious cycle for kids growing up in single parent family and I cried. I read about strayed kids in single parent family and I cried. But all these made me more resolved to make sure that my kid growed up a a loved environment and is healthy, physically and mentally.
No matter what happens, I believed mothers are built to withstand any pressure for our kids and are there to protect them. We cannot control what happen next but I would do my best for my kid. You can too.
I feel so sad to let my gal had a incomplete family. My gal currently Mood swing too. She
behavior to be very very unreasonable. I soft talk or hard talk all no use. she even use word to said I dun care of her, Throw temper, throw thing kick my parents or show sign to beat them. I total drain out when I after work reach home. Any one had this issue encounter before?
behavior to be very very unreasonable. I soft talk or hard talk all no use. she even use word to said I dun care of her, Throw temper, throw thing kick my parents or show sign to beat them. I total drain out when I after work reach home. Any one had this issue encounter before?
NewBeginning4Me
New Member
How old is she?
Bottomline: Cut her some slack but be firm on your boundaries, with or without D.
Bottomline: Cut her some slack but be firm on your boundaries, with or without D.
NewBeginning4Me
New Member
7 yrs old should have some level of reasoning. Was her behaviour change 'cos of D? Be patient and in your case, sounds like you need to be firm as well. Firm and kindness are not conflicting in nature. I feel that as long as they are still not teenage yrs, we still can exert a lot of influence on them. So maximise these years to mould her.
amazingpig
New Member
Jia you everybody.
I also single parent now. My girl since from birth Nv have a family outing together. He commit adultery when I pregnant.And I filed when she 3 month old.
Now the divorce proceeding is so draggy. Really envy those that have happy family.
I also single parent now. My girl since from birth Nv have a family outing together. He commit adultery when I pregnant.And I filed when she 3 month old.
Now the divorce proceeding is so draggy. Really envy those that have happy family.
NewBeginning4Me
New Member
onegoal, absolutely true on everyone got their problems. amazingpig, <hugs>. someone once told me don't envy others 'cos sometimes it may be for appearance only but most importantly treasure what you have.
amazingpig ( hug ), I also envy ppl who had a complete family, My also commit adultery with a child born out. I sue both of them, in singapore law they will not go jail but for big company they will had a report that was sue. That sluts will had a name of mistress.
Onegoal, IVF can help, With FSLoh last time he was in KK not i not sure.
Onegoal, IVF can help, With FSLoh last time he was in KK not i not sure.
moorspa7
Member
I think nobody in this thread are single parents by choice. Would you want to be in their shoes after going through so much heartbreak due to betrayal of spouse? If you really went through what they had experienced, I don't think you would be writing the above posting. There is nothing to envy abt others, everyone has their problems and they have to find a way to solve it. Like what newbeginning4me said, do not envy others cos you do not know what kind of life they lead and the problems they have. We shld treasure with what we have, instead of thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.