SAHM wish to go to work

L

lilychong3

New Member
Hi mommies,

need advise here!! I have been a SAHM for over 8 mths now and wish to go to work to help my hubby a bit financial as we will be moving for a bigger flat.

however, i am in dilema. on 1 hand, i wish to be there for my girl during her 1st year of growing up stage and also i don't really wish to leave her full day with my mom who tend to spoil her. on the other hand, i wish to be financially independent.

though, my hubby leave it to me to decide if i would like to go to work, i find it would be good to have an extra set of income. i am already 34 this year, and my hubby thought we should also try for a 2nd baby.

what should i do. help!!!
 


Hi Lily,
Actually I'm going thru the same phrase as you at the moment. I'm currently a FTWM. It's really a difficult decision to make. If your hubby can manage financially then perhaps you would like to be a SAHM till your bb is older.

Another way is to work from home.

Good luck!
 
It stands for Stay At Home Mum
happy.gif
 
Hi lily chong, I am in the same dilema as you. Right now, we are tied down with reno loan, bb's expenses (new born), housing instalment (by cash coz every mth insufficient CPF) and a car loan...

Trying to look for job but once they knew i am PG, they sort of rejected me..
 
Same ... Been out of workforce for more than a year and being a SAHM is getting a little bored as well. But the jobs for home-based are rather limited ...
 
I was a SAHM for a year after the birth of my boy. Being in workforce for a long time, it took me a while to adjust my life to be with my boy. At first, did not know what to do each day and yet seemed so busy. On top of that, financially tight so had to reduce budget. Slowly I adjusted and worked some schedules for various tasks and activities to do with my child. The experience was great! The child can roll over, crawl and walk, toilet-trained and talk much earlier due to positive interactions and bonding.
I miss him too much to be FTWM and SAHM is a costly option for me. So, after a year, I returned to workforce on a part-time basis. Now, I am still doing part-time and I get to teach him at home the right values; at the same time, I can be a bit more financial comfortable and have personal development through social interactions myself.
If you are in same dilemna like I was, try part-time work.
happy.gif
 
Hi,lily,

I have the same feeling with you. I have been a SAHM for a year but have to go back to workforce cause financial a bit tight. I would advise you to go back to work when your child is still young as your child wouldn't demand your attention so much compare to when they are about 4 or 5 years old. By then, you can decide whether to continue working or to be a SAHM again.
 
mommies...

Same here leh! Wish to return to workforce for the $$ sake but cannot bear to leave my ger with other care-giver! The only way out is to wait for a few more years now....
 
Hi, paranoidmummy

I'm in the same situation as u. Have tried looking for job too but was rejected when they knew i'm pregnant.
 
Leng Leng, just given birth and the problem is like there's no one to look after bb for me, if I put them under nanny's care or infant care after deducting the expenses for that.. I might as well not work.... u know what i mean..
 
paranoidmummy,
we have the exact problem.
Infant care is about $900 a mth,
plus diaper & milk powder.
With our meals & transport, easily add up to $2k.
 
Hi lengleng & paranoidmummy,

Will also be facing this problem after i give birth. Am worried about financial problem coz i dun hv mil to help me look after bb and i'm scared i can't find a job with salary enough to cover bb and my expenses.

Btw, i found a temp office job but had to quit on the 2nd day coz i had spotting and my gynae advised me to bedrest. So now at home everyday feeling so depressed about money problems.
 
Hi charmaine,
don't get stress or depressed,
if you want a happy baby, you must 1st be a happy mummy.

1st sort out all your family's fix monthly expenses,
food, transportation, groceries, insurance, medical, etc.

How many months are you pregnant now?
Is this your 1st child?
Have you seen a doctor, you may want to visit a polyclinic 1st for a referral to KKH,
this way you are able to enjoy more subsidy.

For myself, per appointment to KKH was only $20,
I didn't choose Gynae & I stayed at C Class Ward.
 
Hi leng leng,

Thanks so much for your advice. Am now 5mths preggie and this is my 1st child. My pregnancy was an unexpected one and while i was doing my career advancement. I lost my prev job and couldn't get a new one coz i'm preggie.

When i'm 4wks prggie, we finally found a hse which we like (we had been looking for the past 3yrs) and i had to paid $5k cash. When i'm 6wks preggie, i was asked to bedrest coz i had bleeding. I spend alot for the medicine and jabs i had taken for the next 5wks.

My savings is almost gone and i was so desperate to look for a job although my gynae say no. I found one but had spotting and had to bedrest again.

My hb's salary is just enough for both of us now but it won't be if include bb's expenses. So everyday at home, i kept thinking about these problems and i'm really depressed.
 
Hi charmaine,
I was retrenched when I was 6.5mths preggy with my 1st child,
no maternity benifit.

When I was 6mths preggy with my 2nd child,
I had pre-term contraction & nearly gave birth,
I quitted my job & I had 3mths of bed-rest.

I'm currently a SAHM cause no one wants to look after my boy,
it'll be too expensive to send him to an infant care.

Don't get all stressed up & feel depress,
cause that will not help you & your baby in any way.
By not having a full bedrest may be harmful to your baby,
forget about getting a job now, cause chances are thin.

I'm a pratical person, IMHO,
save as much as you can in this pregnancy & child birth.
You mentioned you have a gynae,
that'll cost more than visit a regular MO at KKH for regular doctor checkups & scannings.
You'll have 5-6 more check-ups b4 u give birth,
saving of $60 each visit, can add up to $300++

Visit a polyclinic 1st for a referral to KKH,
since u r not working now,
u'll have all the time to queue at KKH right?
happy.gif


For baby's expenses you can try to cut down by;
1. Getting hand downs clothings
2. Use Cloth Nappies instead of diaposible diapers
3. Breastfeed

For myself, it'll cost a lot more to work & send my boy to a infant care,
that's why I'm a SAHM now,
waiting for my boy to hit 18th mth & send him to a full-day Child Care Center.
You might want to look for a home based job after you gave birth.
 
Hi leng leng,

My frd working at the gynae clinic so i'm allowed to take the antenatal packg when i'm 3wks preggie. I only pay for the medicine now that i'm stable.

For bb's expenses, i had already "reserved" my friend's bb pass down clothes & toys so i dun hv to buy anymore. Will be using cloth diapers and breastfeeding also. Do i have to standby an amt for bb, like see doctor or buy medicine?

Was wondering if you went thru yr confinement alone? Coz my hb working shift work and i had no experience with bb so i'm worried i can't handle alone when going thru confinement.
 
Hi charmaine,
I have a confinement lady during the 1st month,
the cost were long kept aside b4 I'm preggy.

Most hospitals have lessons on basics on newborns,
do enquire from your Gynae.

One of the main reason for my choice on KKH is,
if there's complication before, during or after my child's birth,
I'll be treated as a subsidised patient,
including my baby, else it'll be private patient's cost,
which will cost a BOMB.
On top of the above, immunisation jabs that my baby is getting are charged at subsidised rate.

Anyway to seek help from friends or relatives for your confinement,
do try & ask around.
happy.gif


So what kind of bb's expenses are you worried about then?
 
Hi leng leng,

Couldn't get much help from my friends for their confinement coz all of them had assistance from a CL or MIL. Frm wat they told me and ref of some other 1st-time mums from other threads, they said it'll be quite impossible to take care of myself & bb, esp during the 1-3mths. I'm the sort tat get panic easily if a bb cry or when all problems come together but i can't fork out extra cash to get help so i just hope i can be strong and be able to handle everything, as least for sake of bb.

Thanks for sharing the info about yr choice on KKH. i'll be bringing my bb to polyclinic for jabs coz i guess it shd be cheap. Btw, do i hv to bring bb to see doc frequently? coz i heard from frds that bb always get sick and need to see doc.

Sorry for asking so many questions and really grateful for yr help and advice coz they really make me feel better these days.
 
Hi charmaine,
It is not true that you won't be able to look after yourself & bb,
I have friends who are 1st time mum who went thru them,
I was surprise too, of the strength they have after they are mummies.
Be positive, search for tips from mummies of this forum on other threads.
happy.gif


I'm not sure of the cost of jab for private patients at the polyclinic,
but for my kids, it's free.
Those cost was already included when we gave birth at government hospital.

Breastfed babies are stronger, my daughter hadn't seen a doctor due to sickness during the 1st 20mths of her life,
untill we sent her to Child Care, where she was introduced to virus from playmates there.
My boy 1st visit to doctor for cough & running nose is at 8th month,
virus from ... you guess it... his sister.
happy.gif

Both visits the polyclinic, consultation is $4, medication is usually less than $6.

Are you a local, is there any possibilities of getting help from relatives for your confinements?
What about neighbours? They may be able to help you do some marketing.

HTHs.
 
Hi Charmaine,

I am a first time mom too. I had a confinement lady and I learnt from her as much as I can before she left. I was on my own from 2nd mth onwards. I still do my own housework and cook my lunch during these 2 months.

I believe what Leng Leng said, strength of mummy. I am sure you will be able to cope well. Have some confidence in yourself.

Oh I got to say when CL went back, I did have trouble looking after my girl for a couple of days. But in the end I do a routine and stick to it, things get better and better each day.

Looking back now I am glad my hubby and I looked after our girl together without much help from our parents cos we can now independently bring her out for shoppings, meals etc.

Be strong, you can do it.

Oh yes BF does save lots of $$. Till now my girl is 6 mths, I only use 2 tins of milk powder. To me, it is very good already...haha.
 
Hi charmaine,

I would suggest if you could get some help from your friends or relatives during your confinement period. At least for the 1st 2 weeks. It will be very tiring for you to look after the new bb plus you are still recovering from your delivery. Also has to think of that may be happened that your delivery turn out to be a emergency c-section (touch wood!).That's will be more worst. By then, you have to take care of your bb, your receovering from c-section, your emontional change. It will be very tough for you to handle alone. (Although your husband can help to take care of the bb too!)

I've went through this a few years back.I didn't get a CL as my MIL will do the confinement for me and I think i will able to handle my bb alone if I go through a normal delivery as My gynae told me shouldn't be a problem. I never expect it would turn out to be a emergency c-section. Guess what! I can hardly take care of my bb for the 1st 2 weeks as my wound was so painful. I have some emontional changes ( I wouldn't call it a post-natal blues), I feel like crying as I feel so guilty that I can't take care of my bb. The worst part is I thought my MIL will stay with me the whole day but she has a shop to attend, so she told me that during the day, she will only come back home when it's time to feed the bb and when she has to cook for me. Other than that, she need to stay at the shop.

No choice, I had to take care of my bb all by myself. Can you imagine the stress i suffered? I actually regret not getting a CL to help.

The good new is by the 3rd week, my wound was not so painful and I can take care of my bb all by myself. And now she is 6 years old. I told my husband if I going to have my 2nd kid, I will defintely get a CLand not to depend on my MIL.

This is my experience. Hope that it can help you to prepare for the worst. Anyway, if you have encountered any problem, don't keep to yourself, talk it out, It's help!
 
Hi leng leng,

Thanks for the providing the info on bb's polyclinic exp. Will continue to search for tips on babycare in the internet. Am a local but not possible to get help frm relatives coz not really close with them. Will try to ask husband to help with chores when confinement.


Hi shannon mom,

Thanks for yr encouragement coz i really hope i can be strong during & after confinement to take care of bb and myself alone.


Hi Ah Rou,

Thanks for sharing yr experience with me. Had always wanted a normal delivery but as my body's weak and was asked twice to bedrest so my friends said maybe i hv to opt for c-section. If tat really happen, would try to ask husband to help me with chores for the 1st week and hope i'll be strong to cope with bb.


Thanks mommies!
 
Hi charmaine,
where do you stay?
I'm a SAHM at Sengkang, if you are neae,
maybe we can meet up for a chit-chat,
so you won't feel so stress,
at least not till u gave birth.
happy.gif
 
Hi leng leng,

haha.... beri far ...

Thanks for the thread. can keep me busy reading coz recently still kept having thots of trying to find job esp when saw husband so tired frm work and i can't do anything except rest at home.
 
Hi charmaine,
err...
It's not possible for you to go out and work now,
u have to listen to your Gynae if you want your baby to be healthy.

If you don't mind,
I get a friend to intro u to some home based sale.
PM me your contact number, if u r interested,
I'll get her to talk to you.
 
Hi all,

I'm currently a SAHM cause no one wants to look after my boy & my ex company dun encourage pregnancy, so indirectly i was being ask to leave....
sad.gif


I'm hoping that somedays i will be able to go back to work..
happy.gif


Charmaine, U staying in Ghim MOh, which blk?? Me too staying in Ghim Moh.

Cheers
 
Hi leng leng,

Thanks so much for the offer. Ya, Ghim moh is near clementi. Thanks for the thread too.


Hi Kokopooh,

I'm staying at blk 4. maybe we can come out chat when u free.
happy.gif
 
Hi all.. I was a sahm for about 1.5 years. Then when I gave birth to my 2nd kid, I wanted to start working again but at the same time, I wanted to be there to see my toddlers grow and have the flexibility in timing. Hence I was introduced to work as ins agent. Initially I was very hesitant as its not an easy job. But a year and a half has passed by, my sons are now 3.5 and almost 2 years old. I love my job because of the flexibility. I take home more than a working mother who works from 9-5 bring home plus the fact that I work less than a month. I guess the most important for all returning mums is to know the priorities. Are they looking for full time or part time? I am proud to say that I could tell people when asked when my sons first learn to talk, walk and all. For all mummies, our most greatest pride and joy is to be able to tell the stories of our precious rather than maids or babysitter does. Reckon??? ( no offence to all working full time mum).
 
Hi,

Any SAHMs who wish to join the workforce and be a childcare teacher with a sponsorship of your dip course? There's a career talk on 27th Oct 2006 @6.30pm and advertisement in Straits Times today to find more details.
 
Mommies.. I'm in dilemma.

I have been a Stay at home mum since I gave birth to my son. He is 17mths old ,and I have a maid who has been working almost 4 mths now.

Recently I was offered a job in a european investment bank. I wasn't looking for a job actually. They got my contact from my ex colleague who recommended me.
They offered a part time job (4/5/6 hour perday..in the morning or afternoon..mon to fri).I can choose my own timing.

now.. the problem is.. why do I feel guilty just thinking of leaving my son with my maid even thought it's only for half a daY?I think my maid can handle the situation.. it's just me..don't know what to do.
I sometimes miss earning my own pocket money and miss sosialising with people other than my son and my maid.
As much as I love my son.. I sometimes think I can do more and contribute more in my life.. but my son is still and will always be my priority.

What should I do?? should I take the job? It is ok to leave him for 6 hours?
(my hubby said it's up to me.. whatever makes me happy... which makes me more confuse hehe).

My mom is a housewife all her life.. so I never know any other way of bringing up children than like my mom used to do to us.

need opinion from those working as well as stay at home moms!!!!
 
Hi Habishan,
I will took up the job if its me. Cos no matter what you still need 'me' time. Can enrol your son to the half day / playgroup whereby he can socialising oso there you are not so guilty.
 
Hi Hashisan,

Why don't you take up the job and try out the arrangement? You can always quit after 6 mths or if you feel it leaves you little time with your son?

But if its 6 hrs a day I don't feel its part-time. I think 4 hours will be better since you are going to work everyday.

Also the other thing is your maid is quite new. Are you ok to leave your son alone with her? And like what Cecelia said, your son is at the age where he can enrol into playgroup soon, so maybe you can leave him in playgroup and get your maid to bring him home or you can pick him up after work and go home together.
 
actually I already turned down the job but a week later they called me up again and ask me whether I'd like to consider maybe 3-4 hrs perday 3 times a week .. they say timing up to me at my convenience.. sounds good rite? but then If let say I take 4 hours, means leave home 6hrs perday (because trip from my place to office 1 hr each by mrt)..will my son be ok? recently also I enroll him to playgroup nearby from 1-3pm (will start this mon only )..
I told them maybe I'll take the job next year.. they said anytime I want to join them can always call them..so the option still open for me.
now I'm doing babysitting since apr. This babysitting pay and the part time working pay(eg:3hrs per day 3 times a week) is not so much different. babysitting I'll get to stay at home and supervise my maid.. work in bank: see other people and maybe self improvement? but pay so so only..(but they'll still give cpf, annual and medical leave ,all prorated)
still in dilemma.. WHAT SHOULD I DO????
 
hashisan
I understand how you feel, some more the opportunity & terms are good to miss. Give it a try, else you would be thinking & thinking.

From the way I see it, it is not time yet for you to go out to work. People say it is better to see through your child when he/she is 7 yrs which I begin to feel it is true. Basically I don't trust maid due to many horror stories and also having one stranger in the house. Also, depending on child, some fall sick very easily at child care. If you have a maid, it means financially you are okay if you are not working. So it boils down to your own aspirations. See where your heart goes.
 
Hi Mummies

Just found this thread. Any SAHMs here managed to become FTWMs? Can share your experience ?

I quit earlier coz there is no one to take care of my bb and I also like to give my newborn full attention. Now that I felt ready to return work but am caught in the very frustrating stage of job hunting and no doors seemed open as yet. I am very worried that there will be no jobs out there for me. I am in my mid 30s and has post-grad degree. Even if I am willing to accept a lesser paying job but employers may not think I have staying powers.
 
littlefly,
<wave> Me Me!!
I was a SAHM for 18mths,
now a FTWM.
How long have you been a SAHM?
If not too long, you can try to return to same field,
else you may want to take up some relevant courses.
happy.gif
 
LengLeng,
<waving>, how did you do it? I am SAHM for over 8mths and wishing to become FTWM NOW. Did you return to similar field, faced any challenges after such a long break from work etc? Envy my gf (accounting field) who found work easily after delivery.
 


Little Fly

I have been a SAHM for 5 years. I have a post grad degree too

I get calls from head hunters regarding job opportunites every now &amp; then. However, I didn't go for interviews at all so I can't really assess my chance of returning to work after such a long break, very likely employers will 'hiam' my long break from work

Job market is relatively quiet now because of US probable recession. A lot of employers are adopting a wait &amp; see approach

Why don't you file your resume with recruiters? they may have other lobangs not advertised in the newspapers
 
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