Problem staying with mil


I’ve been living with my PIL since married till now almost 5 years, my bto will be ready soon end of this year (finally!!).. my hubby is only son n he got a younger sis married n stay at landed property. She worked as a civil servant in MOM (earning 7k+ a month.. according to MIL). So both my PIL are young in their early sixties but both are kind of lazy type n no savings. My FIL is very unhygienic kind. My MIL always thought that her daughter is rich so she stopped working for a very long time. Her motto of having children is “Yang Er Fang Lao”=”Raise a son to safeguard her golden days”.

Everyday stay at home watch tv from morning till evening (potato couch). Beside cooking dinner for only weekdays, other things she won’t do so we hired a part time cleaner to cleaning once a week.

I gave birth to a boy last year, unfortunately my boy is small in size with birth weight 2.45kg…(my hubby himself is a preemie born at 7th month)… so I guess my boy inherited his genes. Now my boy is going to 15 months old and his weight is 9kg+ only…though he is small he hits all his milestone and he is a happy and active baby!! My MIL always comment my boy very small in size and compare him to other bigger size baby EVERSINCE he come to this world till now. Very sad to hear.

My SIL got a son too, and when birth he weighs at 3.57kg but now age 5 and is very skinny. How could she comment and compare her own grandchild? My hubby is super filial to my MIL… initially when we just married he said we will stay with my PIL and that time I haven’t really see the true colours of them….as time goes by, colour revealed. Most of the time both me and my hubby quarrelled are because of them…we almost call for divorce. Because my new flat is going to ready soon and both of them scares that I will kick them out 1 day, they applied the studio unit at Jurong (thank GOD!!). But my hubby keep saying that I chase them away that’s why both his parents decide not to stay with us. Oh come on…. I didn’t do or ask them to stay elsewhere.. we quarreled again because of them.
 
hi iwontbite2, whos paying for your PIL's house now ? since u staying in their house, I guess u cant talk or comment much...wait till ur own lovenest is here then u will hv peace. happy for u tt they applied their own studio unit so in future no need to stay together and no more quarrels bcos of them

eversince my mil moved in with us 6yrs ago, we been quarrelling everyday but lesser now cos I learn to "close both eyes"..yest I flared up at her. the night before I alrdy told her tt I will cook lunch (sunday) so I need to use the kitchen. then sunday morning I saw her busy in the kitchen from 7am till 11.30am still hide in the kitchen preparing for Monday's dinner ingredients (she cook dinner for us on wkdays only). she likes to hide in the kitchen all the time and also don't allow my maid to go into the kitchen when she is inside there. so end up I only finished cooking lunch at 1.30pm and my son complaining tt he is so hungry !

she treat my kitchen like her own kitchen. suka suka change all my nice plates/bowls/cutleries to those stainless steel 555 cos she said more lasting to use and she prefer to use those types, so she kept all those tt I bgt in the cabinet...I wonder when I will hv chance to use again. and she separated those cloth tt she use in the kitchen, meaning my maid cannot use the cloth tt she use, so I hv to get another set of cloth for my maid to do cleaning and my maid will kept inside her room cos cannot mix w my mil's kitchen cloth...damn angry w this old hag ! still dare to tell lies to my BIL tt my maid v good life never do this do that etc, complain tt she staying w us is so torturing everyday...but my BIL got no intention to let his mum move in their flat cos he is scared of his wife
 
Hi porky_jean.. My hubby is currently paying for the house coz my PIL got no savings as both of them r those "LAN San" type.. Everyday talk about $$$, both still young but choose to stay at home. Poor hubby as I can feel his burden. I chose to breastfed my baby so to help him save money on milk formula. Talking about breastfeeding, my MIL once doubt about my breastmilk bcos my boy fall sick quite often initially when he started to attend infant care. Didn't appreciate what I'm doing. Now they applied a studio unit, like I said both got no savings... after sell this current 4-room my hubby need to give them almost all that we've pocketed for them to pay their flat. Haiz... Once a year need to pay them a sum of money for them to travel. Still want to enjoy luxury life when pockets are empty!!
 
Problem arise not jus by staying with them. . The moment u have kids even not staying with them also will encounter problems.. The part I hate most is them comparing my kids with others.. poor hubby. . Always stuck in the middle
 
stinzy said:
Problem arise not jus by staying with them. . The moment u have kids even not staying with them also will encounter problems.. The part I hate most is them comparing my kids with others.. poor hubby. . Always stuck in the middle
Click to expand...
that is what they do best ..so i just ignored her totally lolz
 
same lah..my mil also likes to say so and so de kid v clever and v guai etc..said my boy v playful and active, wont listen to her..esp hv kids sure got more problems arised. before having own kid, I don't bother so much abt her, but w kids how to don't bother ? she gv cold drink to my boy at 10pm ! angry !
 
So much for staying with the in laws.. For my case even not stayin with them is enuff to kill Liao.. They only stayed here for 1 mth during my confinement and already caused a stir..

My parents in law from the day mi n hubby married already disliked mi. Always encouraging my hubby to divorce me even when we quarrel. Even my hubby's bro n wife all of them always ask him divorce mi when we quarrel. Till the day we buy house.. His bro tell my hubby if he buy house with mi.. Next time divorce got to split half the house to mi..

In fact I just give birth 2mths ago. 1mth ago, my in laws came down from Malaysia say they wan help do confinement for mi. But seriously they can't help much,, my mum in law can't do night feed cant bathe baby.. Only help to cook. Then most of the taking care of bb my hubby do.. Like feed n bathe bb.. He on leave whole mth.. So I guess his mum already unhappy with mi. I have a camera installed in living room. I always see my mum in law patting n tap on my hubby shoulders n talk.. Then one day he tell my hubby in their whatever language to feed baby formula milk thinking I cannot understand her language but I somehow after married 4yrs I can understand a bit. I was fed up so I tell her off say I can decide myself wat milk to give my bb cos bb is mine.. I say not happy all of u including hubby can moved out.. That's where drama begins..

My hubby keep calling my parents come n talk.. My parents came downstairs only my hubby went down.. While he downstairs his parents tell mi the house belongs to his son only n his mum ask mi dun need greet her mother..when my parents came up n the first thing his parents say is bring ur daughter back n divorce n say they wan moved out..My dad got to talk nicely to them to simmer them..finally all ok..

Few days later, my mum came over.. His dad bumped onto my dad downstairs.. My dad came up super angry.. Say his dad say nasty words to him.. Say they disliked mi from start n they rather dun wan my kids as grandchildren oso wan us divorce, say I no jia jiao..n say last time divorce I dun dare go sign papers..

Can u imagine the agony during the 1mth confinement.. N to make it worst... His bro n family came to our house every Sunday to nua. My mum in law got to cook special dishes for them for the bro kids..
 
Oh then his mum ask mi strange questions when hubby not at hm.. She ask mi I know how to change diapers anot.. Oh btw this is my 2nd kid.. My 1st kid 2yrs old Liao.. I look after myself...I dunno what she is implying lo..

Then my hubby tell her got frens comin to visit wan see baby.. She ask in her language.. Whose frens comin.. Ur frens or her frens? Strange anot.. Whose frens bother her meh??
 
junren131...pat pat....mus be miserable staying with them. never mind, tell them, this is sg, not msia. the laws protect the mothers more than the fathers.
 
I think it's not nice for a fil to scold his dil. . My fil once flare up at me.. I dun even know what wrong I did. . And he said I dunno how to take care of his son.. like seriously.. am I supposed to take care of him like the way they protect him. . Ever since then the strain was there so now even when we see each other we seldom talk... it's jus too bad I need their help at times cos of the kids..
 
Junren131, so ur hubby is Malaysian n is he holding a PR or citizen here? How about u, r u a Singaporean? 1 of my friend shared with me as she is a divorcee with 3 children. She is holding citizen here. Okay so what she told me is 1 child will definitely goes to mom, 2 children will 1 parent each unless u fight. 3 children will like hers fight custody till she spent almost 60k n eventually come to mutual consent her ex hubby let her have all 3 children. When said 1 child will definitely goes to mom, judge will also look on the financial and ability of the mother to look after the child. So if u r a citizen n ur hubby is a PR, he will likely lose the custody bcos govt afraid the PR will bring the children back to Malaysia. So if ur hubby is a PR n both ur PIL threaten u about divorce, ask them seek advise from lawyer 1st. U may also call AWARE. Both ur PIL r terrible!! How can they ask the son to divorce the wife n wreck the happiness of the children? Do they know wat is divorce and the consequences after divorce?
 
hmm.....I got a boy....
I think all parents wan their kids to be happy. rite? at least that is what I want for my boy. is asking them to divorce and etc for his own good?
sometimes, I really wonder why the mils wan to do such a thing
 
Meow_meowing.. U r right!! I have a boy too n I tell myself I must save enough to retire n let my son have his own family when I'm old. My own mom rather stay alone n not to probe into children's family matters. Though is lonely but less argument is key to happiness she said.
 
iwontbite2...lol..same here.......we are the sandwich group....need to support our parents and our own kids...I told my hub, we mus try to save as much as we can. I do not want the kids to face the same situation....
I guess parents show their love in different ways
 
Those parents tat support son to divorce their wife are selfish. No parents would want to see their own child marriage to fail. I doubt these MIL are good daughter in law herself tats y they can have such thinking. Selfish!!
 
i think mothers should learn to let go after their son grow up and get marry.
They never think that after they bye bye liao, is the wife take care of their son till he grow old

*i hope i can do so when is my turn though :p
 
csy1 said:
i think mothers should learn to let go after their son grow up and get marry.
They never think that after they bye bye liao, is the wife take care of their son till he grow old

*i hope i can do so when is my turn though :p
Click to expand...

Ya lor...
Because they scare the wife will take over their place.. but seriously; why make life difficult for the wife when we, like them, is married to their son to love and take care of them...
 
I don't understand y my mil keep thinking her daughter in law on son in law taking over her role, my mil will call me and spot check whether my husband cone and pick me after work anot, she wanted my husband to pick her up first whether she wanted him, if mil know my husband pick me up first she will start to throw tantrum. .if my husband didn't ans her call, she will call n check whether his son is with me, my mil keep thinking that her daughter in law and son in law stop her children from answering her call. She alway like think everybody should listen to her. our Friend are not allow to come to our house. Our Friend are not allow to be invite to celebrate her grandchildren birthday. Don't know what kind of person is she
 
Wow, nice to such a thread exists. Have problem with MIL too.Whenever she visits ,she treats my helper as the own daughter. Both FIL & MIL :)
They chit chat with the maid, whenever she dresses up to go out they admire her. And they don't care to feed or take my children even for a short walk. Once I had cooked breakfast by 7+ am and went out to buy groceries, so asked my MIL to feed my children(younger needs to be fed as she was just 2 by then and elder just needs to be told, she 6 yrs). When I came back after grocery shopping by 9.30, my MIL told me that she asked my children to eat and they said don't want.
Haha, and she keeps asking my maid who comes back after her off day if she has enough food to eat and gets ready to cook for her.
Is it just because we are "Daughter -in-laws, not human?"
 
How I wish all our husbands would come into this tread and read the problem all wifes are facing....
 
totally agree with kim turtle...my hubby always say..but she is my mother...i am like...so what ...mothers have responsible ones and irresponsible ones, there are also irresponsible ones who never took care of you. Just because she gave birth like so noble. I also gave birth mah...but i took care myself, teach them, mentor them...not like his parents who never did, but behaved like they did...cannot tahan!
 
kim turtle: My FIL always smoke./touch his feet then feed the kids and play with kids, never wash hands..terrible.

MIL always says WAW LAU EYYY...in front of kids loudly. Bad influence.

Dunno how long i can tolerate them...
 
What's the most hurtful words have your PILs said to you all? I believe most of us unlucky DILs share the same fate...
 
Silly cat, My mil is worse. She said she si bei suey that she has dil like me (becos I don't give a damn anymore, show me F*****g mil face I'll tell her). Also says her ex dil is so much better than me and if it's not because of her giving birth to her son, I don't have my husband now.

Btw, she's staying with us and thinks that she's the empress and she only eats, sleeps and watch scv all day. The only thing she does in the house, is messing up. Otherwise, will only go Mahjong.
 
My PIL also staying with me..totally lose my privacy, don't feel like a family cos she like intruding...go out also she got to tag along, eat out also she got to tag along, stay hotel she got to tag along...super sian. .....i feel zero enjoyment cos she is a damn fussy eater and troublesome person.
 
Staying with them totally no privacy. Expecially when u and little one sleeping, someone peep at outside from the window. I really hate he doing that.
When ppl ask him do not do that , he just give a face like not happy.
Just now he was in the toilet, I over heard he say " 看到也没有叫家公,当我是透明的。有媳妇就像没有媳妇。以为我看她???哈哈哈..."
I think he siao liao.....
Why I must call him when I see him?? All the way I very respect him, but after he do all the things to me especially he scold me 越来越guai L*n in hokkien.
From the day onwards I never call him, and really take him like 透明。
I don't let him carry my daughter even touch her. He damn really unhygienic.
 
kim_turtle said:
Staying with them totally no privacy. Expecially when u and little one sleeping, someone peep at outside from the window. I really hate he doing that.
When ppl ask him do not do that , he just give a face like not happy.
Just now he was in the toilet, I over heard he say " 看到也没有叫家公,当我是透明的。有媳妇就像没有媳妇。以为我看她???哈哈哈..."
I think he siao liao.....
Why I must call him when I see him?? All the way I very respect him, but after he do all the things to me especially he scold me 越来越guai L*n in hokkien.
From the day onwards I never call him, and really take him like 透明。
I don't let him carry my daughter even touch her. He damn really unhygienic.
Click to expand...

why u dun get your own hse and move out? in meantime,u can solve the peeping issue by closing window? wah..he sounded really hostile to me..
 
kim turtle: if ppl call me guai lan i will call him back KNN.

My MIL never tries to adapt to living with us, she doesnt eat spaghetti, burgers, pasta, pizza, so whenever we cook these food she refuses to eat and will will go kitchen ransack my kitchen and start cooking her own meal, wasting my money, food and dirty my kitchen. Super super irritating. And refuses to buy packet food at work but 5am go my kitchen ransack it and cook for her lunch..super irritating behaviour.
 
Just to also vent abit on my pil! Both in their early 50s. Very lazy refuse to work. All they do is playing mahjong and shaking legs at home. When mil got no mj session, she will do a impromptu visit which is damn irritating! She obviously tot tat our door is always open for her! Worst thing is, she like to keep very very long sharp and dirty nails. And she still Wan to carry my baby! Argh!!! Fil is not any better either. Anything tat came out from his mouth are rubbish. He is like a fortune teller. Always telling us our kid this our kid tat. If he is really tat good, why would they have to take money from their children!
 
My mil like to compare my son and her daughter kids..these grandchildren of my sil is looking after by my mil. Whenever she come over my plc she will said so n so kids so clever and chummy y ur kid skinny, y ur this n that.. I feel like f her up upside down...she will compare my kids with her daughter kids, I hate it. My husband and my mil said I'm lousy and stupid said I can't give birth to a baby girl. I tell my husband, he will forever said she is old.. my sil also another want.. btw my sil and my husband looks more like couple,they share secret and talk bad things about the wife *which is me* my sil is not marry. She concern n care for my husband alot, wen my husband not happy or we quarrel she will console him, even call and lecture me. I am nothing in the house
 
sinnyy said:
kim turtle: if ppl call me guai lan i will call him back KNN.

My MIL never tries to adapt to living with us, she doesnt eat spaghetti, burgers, pasta, pizza, so whenever we cook these food she refuses to eat and will will go kitchen ransack my kitchen and start cooking her own meal, wasting my money, food and dirty my kitchen. Super super irritating. And refuses to buy packet food at work but 5am go my kitchen ransack it and cook for her lunch..super irritating behaviour.
Click to expand...

Sounds like my mil too. Complained my cooking not nice, where as she uses nothing except MSG on all her cookings!

I thank god I'm able to get rid of her soon.

*praying hard all goes well*
 
silly cat said:
My mil like to compare my son and her daughter kids..these grandchildren of my sil is looking after by my mil. Whenever she come over my plc she will said so n so kids so clever and chummy y ur kid skinny, y ur this n that.. I feel like f her up upside down...she will compare my kids with her daughter kids, I hate it. My husband and my mil said I'm lousy and stupid said I can't give birth to a baby girl. I tell my husband, he will forever said she is old.. my sil also another want.. btw my sil and my husband looks more like couple,they share secret and talk bad things about the wife *which is me* my sil is not marry. She concern n care for my husband alot, wen my husband not happy or we quarrel she will console him, even call and lecture me. I am nothing in the house
Click to expand...

hey,tats so incorrect.its your hubby genes that determines the gender of the baby.

wats wrong with skinny kids,as long as healthy can le.

getting 1st in place doesnt mean getting 1st forever.so wat other ppl kids are smarter,doesnt guarantee they will be sucessful in future.

dun be hurt by all those words,just give your best to your kid can le. :) jiayou!
 

silly cat said:
My mil like to compare my son and her daughter kids..these grandchildren of my sil is looking after by my mil. Whenever she come over my plc she will said so n so kids so clever and chummy y ur kid skinny, y ur this n that.. I feel like f her up upside down...she will compare my kids with her daughter kids, I hate it. My husband and my mil said I'm lousy and stupid said I can't give birth to a baby girl. I tell my husband, he will forever said she is old.. my sil also another want.. btw my sil and my husband looks more like couple,they share secret and talk bad things about the wife *which is me* my sil is not marry. She concern n care for my husband alot, wen my husband not happy or we quarrel she will console him, even call and lecture me. I am nothing in the house
Click to expand...
I can understand How u feel. When give birth, all They Care is the baby But nit the mother.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

C
Non compliance with divorce court order
Replies
0
Views
2K
confused2022
C
G
Play dates with toddler
Replies
2
Views
635
Gam.qml
G
D
Any review on Dr Roy Ng at NUH?
Replies
0
Views
505
Daffodil682
D
Q
Husband makes me feel isolated from his family
2
Replies
64
Views
5K
Mongkok
M
A
Baby with VSD hole in heart
Replies
4
Views
3K
strongmama
S

Back
Top