Premature babies support group

[telly]

hi costa, yvonne and other mommies!

i have a lovely little preemie baby who was born at 34 weeks, weighing a grand total of 1.136kg.

she was born mid-march via emergency c-sect and is now almost 7 months (real age) or 5.5months (corrected age).

now, she is still on the small side, weighing about 5.5kg.

she spent 1.5 months at KK: 2+ weeks at nicu and about a month at SCN-pink.

it's really nice to have a support group like this as i normally only meet other preemie mommies when i go for my babe's check-ups.

 

[costa]

hi, telly,

Good morning....its friday,,,

Welcome, welcome here to this support group...

So glad that yr bb is doing well at home...are you a sahm or ftwm?

any problems you had wif her?do share your experiences here. Any points you want to let us know when taking care of preemies etc...do let us noe....and hope to meet you and the rest of the gals one day..!!!

 

[voncm]

hi telly, welcome!

do share with us yr experiences & tips

 

[telly]

hi yvonne and costa,

my baby wasn't growing well in my womb. the scan showed that there's some resistance in the blood vessel supplying blood to the placenta.

at my w32 checkup, my gynae told me that my baby was only 1.03kg. so, she gave me jabs to strengthen her lungs as doctors may have to deliver her earlier if she's still not growing. i was supposed to see my gynae a week later.

w33, i had a scan - baby was still 1.03kg. then, i had a CTG, baby's heartbeat dipped at some points.

i was immediately hospitalised.

they considered me a high-risk case. can u imagine how kan cheong that made me feel?

then, all the big shot gynaes and paeds and neonatologists met up to discuss all the high-risk cases and for me, they decided to take baby out at w34, 8am. w34 is considered acceptable prematurity.

so, for one week, i was at the delivery suite. very lonely. no visitors allowed other than husband.

2 hours after i hit w34, i was awoken by bright lights and gynaes surrounding my CTG machine. they were shaking their head and saying, "not good, not good."

baby had to come out right then as her heartbeat was very, very low for 3 prolonged periods.

all i could do was pray and pray and pray for the best while i was wheeled to the OT.

so, my baby came out at 3+ in the morning.

i'm really grateful that she does not have any other complications. she could breathe on her own after a few hours.

she had hernia which had to be operated upon but all the doctors and nurses there (KK) are VERY professional and they really made me feel very comforted.

now, i'm a bit worried about other problems like potential ADHD and her weight gain being very slow.

still, i think she's such a fighter and i'm very proud of my little bundle of joy. i'm sure both of you feel the same too about your babies.

 

[costa]

hi, telly,

we hv been thru the same route....

im very proud of my fighter too...its good that she does not have any other problems..

m still hoping my boi will recover from his problems like rop...sucking and drinking coordination....

why wld she have potential adhd?did the doctors say that....

 

[lilies_jt]

Hi all the mummy
i have a set of preemie triplets (G/B/G)at 33week. Birth weight 1.7/1.7/1.33. They are now 20months(corrected age 18.5mths).
Telly, my T3 was not growing very well in the womb too so I had to sacrifice T1 & T2. My T3 is a fighter. Her jaundice was very closed to blood transfusion. She had 3 ultra lights on her. Lucky she got through. She has to put on nutrients drip by place a tiny tube from the elbow to the heart. The doctor did not allow parents or grand parents to watch them. *heart pain*.
My T1 & T2 spent 3 weeks and T3 spent 5 weeks in KK.
Now T1 & T2 are growing fine but my T3 at 3percentile only. She is only size of nine months old babies 8.2kg. Neo got her on pedisure but not very well too. Her motor skill and learning is good. I have to bring her to see dietician.

They are given a couple of years to catch up those borned full term. Keep it up preemie

 

[irenelovej]

Hi all mummies for preemies,
I'm one of u all too. My story is very similar with telly's, the bb oso not growing well and have to be born early at 34 wks. very lucky, besides at low weight of 1.6kg, bb is doing very fine.
Initially preemie will have some suckling problem, like not enuf energy to do the suckling, but after they've reach the EDD, then they r very much ok. so dun worry..
All mommies here, keep jia you...raising up a child is so tough, not to mention a preemie at the beginning stage. not only the child, but have to face lots of other problems, eg being blame by the in-laws family, housework, own office work, etc etc..... so keep urself up.

 

[costa]

harlo, lily and irenelovej,

ITs so nice to hear from you mummies and to know this thread is being kept alive...

hv learnt so much from the mummies on tis thread....and are you sahm or working mummies?

hv to keep our chins up....its really tough to be a mum of preemie be it the preemie being yr 1st child or subsequent child...

hope we get a chance to meet one day...

 

[telly]

hi all!

costa, about ADHD - i read that babies who are almost close to full term (but still premature) around week34, are more likely to have ADHD.

babies who are anemic are also likely to have ADHD.

my baby was born at w34 and still is anaemic.

so, i will just have to be very proactive and look out for early signs so i can help my daughter as much as possible.

of course, i'm also praying all the time that although the odds are there, my daughter will not have any learning disabilities.


hi irenelovej, how's your baby? how old is your babe?

what's your children's weight now?

mine, at 7.5 months, is about 6kg only.

and she also has a very poor appetite. sigh. how to fatten her up?

 

[stressed]

Hi Telly,

Are you giving breast milk or formula milk?

 

[costa]

telly,

guess amgst of all us, mine is really a tiny preemie..he is now about 4kg big but by corrected age shld be only about 20 days old...

guess as parents, if we maintain our appts wif the doctors, early intervention specialists...and know wats happening to our babies...we shld be able to learn and intervene to solve the learning problems...

tink 7.5 kg shld be acceptable weight right for preemies...after all, normal full term babies shld be doubling their weight after half a year....

 

[voncm]

hi all premmie mummies!

hey, don't fret abt our little fighters' physical development... definitely they will grow to be healthy & active toddlers in a couple of years.

 

[voncm]

hi telly,

sorry to read your traumatic experience.

with lots of your tender loving care now, i'm sure your little darling will be fine.

 

[costa]

harlo, yvonne,

how are you?just went for the parent support group talk yterday...on baby massage...

so tired,dun noe whether can remember how to do it or not.....

hows yr boi boi ?my boi still cant really swallow......the nurses all hurrying him to go home but he is taking his own sweet time maybe bec he noes i havent finished buying the necessary stuff

 

[voncm]

morning costa,

hee... i din remember all the pointers either but when the time comes, u'll somehow still manage in ur own special ways. no worries lah! ur feelings will guide u.

do take care of urself too.

seems like yr boy knows & wants to give u more time to ready his home-coming. wat else hv u got to prepare? how's the new maid coping?

my boy's recovering fr his runny nose, been a week liao. otherwise, he's the usual active self.

 

[jkjt]

Hi all
i'm not sure if this is the right place to post...

my friend just had a premature delivery (6mth preggie). She is feeling very sad and depressed. We are helping her looking for premature baby clothings.

Any idea where can we get small clothings/diapers locally?

 

[voncm]

hi JKJT,

it's hard to find premmie clothings locally. personally, i just buy newborn size (including diapers) & bb is swaddled most of the time.

is ur friend's bb still in hospital? it's usually provided there.

 

[costa]

jkjt,

there is a shop on change alley bridge selling preemies clothing and new born and kids clothing..these are factory over runs

but wld advise yr fren not to buy as they wld be staying in hospital and not wearing clothes till bigger

but when the kid is ready to go home, the kid wld hv reached a reasonable size..so dun waste money buying

wld rather advise yr fren to come her or private message me or post here and we can share the pblems together..my preemie was a 24 weeker oso..take heart.....ask her to come here and join us

yvonne, we xin1 li3 xiang1 tong1....post here almost same time...

my new maid's england not very good...but understandable.......so far, no baby at home..so can still cope but life wld never be the same for her next time..now's her honey moon period...

lucky i got my mum to jaga her..hope she can manage..if not i gotta quit, i guess....

blur me, never open my eyes and procrastinate...even baby mattress oso hvnt bot yet....the nurses keep hurrying him to go home...but he oso bo chup, close his eyes and cover his ears and just sleep, ha ha

 

[jkjt]

Hi Yvonne/costa
thanks for both of your advice.
i will let her know.

i will tell her of this forum.
she is feeling very depressed at tis moment. we dun even dare to talk to her coz she keeps crying. Actually she is preggie with twin but doctor could only save 1 baby. *sad*

 

[voncm]

JKJT,
wat ur friend needs most is support fr everyone.
send our regards to her, tell her to be strong as bb still needs her. when she can, do come & join us here. we've all walked the path before.

costa,
sounds like ur boy is very comfy now. u must talk him to work a bit harder so that he can be home to play with all the toys u've bot for him... hee, that's wat i used to tell my boy!

at least the maid has a settling period, she can learn where are things kept & help u ready/clean/wash bb's things.

will u take some time off when bb's home?
think it's better lor... even for a few weeks. u can set the routine for ur mum & maid to follow.

 

[costa]

yvonne,

i oso keep telling my son to go home leh...got so many thgs to play but he oso bo chup me...heh heh..

tink i will take some time off oso...when the time comes for him to go home....to set standards on wat to do..although machiam i oso blur like sotong....hope my mum can leh because when i was young, i was being looked after by those foster nanny n my mum only took care of me in the evenings and wkends, nia......

 

[voncm]

costa,

i'm very certain u'll make it... at most, be "1st time" mum again lor.
me also a sotong & forgetful mum

it won't be easy in the early weeks, just do ur best. soon, bb will settle down & be more co-operative.
guess it's the same with any full term bb, rite?

 

[costa]

Yvonne,

heh heh...must meet u again to get tips leh...

i reali smtimes feel worse than first time mum..alot of thgs oso dun noe and yet got frens ask me for advice as if i noe alot of things...

when i cant answer, you noe wat i do? i go ask the nurses in nicu/scn or go and ask doctor...dun want to teach pple wrong thing....and smtimes doc and nurse can tell you different answer even...

tink after the parent support talk, i got more frightened........because after wat they said abt if you dun hv early intervention, the kiddo wld tis and that etc....scared the hell out of me

 

[stressed]

Costa,

If I, the gong gong 1st time mother can get manage, I'm sure you can too!

Jia you!

 

[costa]

stressed,

thanks but mine is really a preemie or micro preemie...i really hope i can handle......

will jia you although oil prices going up...ha ha

 

[voncm]

costa,

no worries, can meet whenever. u know where to find me...

me also learn thru observation AND trial & error. don't be frightened by the knowledge u learn fr the talks.
the professionals must give u both the good & bad; it's their code of ethics aka disclaimer-of-sort.

just be more observant when u're with bb.
i'm sure u can oredi see some of ur boy's personality, preference & dislikes, strength & weakness.

 

[stressed]

ya. I agree with Yvonne. Must learn to read bb's cues. U'll learn when taking care of him.

What I did when I got home was
1) I sling her almost all the time. Altho, some people say she might get dependent on me, but slinging helps to regulate her breathing and keep her warmth. Anyway, my dd now can play on her own.

2) Kangaroo care. I cannot emphasize how much it helped my dd
3) Baby massage. I got my malay massage lady to do for her too.
4) Try not to let bb cry too long. Detrimental for their lungs and may develop ADHD too.
5) TCM. Too bad I got to know them only recently.
http://www.singaporemirror.com.sg/co_yuguo.htm. They do baby massage too.
6) If you are still BF, bb takes what you eat. I made sure I ate DHA capsules so that she gets smarter. I hope...
7) I also supplemented with FM on one feed per day so that she gets fatter. I know it's not as good as BM but I really want to fatten her. My PD mentioned that one brand of FM is particularly fatter than other. I cannot remember which.

Lastly, listen to your instincts. That's super important. Hope to hear of your baby's graduation soon! Post pics lah!

 

[costa]

yvonne,

good morning...heh heh..wld noe where to find you...

really frightened after the massage..tellin me things that if you dun put your bb's hands together and let them sleep wif the hands in W shape..next time will affect their dunnoe wat....

sigh...the more we noe, the more scared we become..

hmm, whether i can noe their personality or not?good question...i only noe he likes to sleep...the nurse managed to bottle him a bit yesterday.....

the doc told me must be prepared mentally incase need to tube feed, i said i rather not brg him back until he is confident enough,,.get wat i mean...

stressed,

how do you sling her? wif the moms in mind sling is it...

is tcm chinese massage good for them?

i got many bottles of dha capsules left..will eat it i guess...

hope he can graduate soon........

 

[voncm]

morning ladies...

costa,
yeah, the hands-together position really does sooth bb. it's easy to do when u swaddle bb.

but guess wat... my boy still prefers to spraw-out completely both arms & legs... kekeke
i just let him be after a few weeks when i see that he's not uncomfy or "stressed" but wud still continue to change his sleep positions as & when.
u don't hv to go by the book. like wat stressed mentioned... going with ur instinct.

good news that ur boy cud bottle even a bit now... likely no need to tube feed lah... don't be psycho-ed by the doc.

re: DHA capsule (neurogain)
u shud be taking NOW cos bb is consuming ur ebm. it'll be beneficial for him.

 

[costa]

yvonne,

harlo...i got so many bottles of dha neurogain left..when i asked my gynae whether good to take even when pregnant, he gave me that type of "on the fence "answer..can take but can also dun take and i chucked it aside but after reading wat stressed said, i popped them into my mouth

but that was before swallowing it wif coffee, ha ha...

thats why yterday i stayed until 9plus..to learn from the nurses as much as possible.....but still i let the nurse bottle him

that day got one nicu nurse who managed to bottle him many times...tink after that, he was so tired, he zonked out and next day din really want to wake up...

yterday, he drank only a bit under one experienced nicu nurse.....scn understaffed again due to many new patients and isolation cases..so they had to call the nicu nurses to ke4 chuan4 (guest appearance)...and oso they need nicu nurses as these are babies under isolation...

tink yr boi boi wants to defy conventions like me son sleeping in W shape,...me too sleep like that, my hb says i sleep like a zhao1 cai2 mao1(fortune cat).....ha ha..

smtimes you talk to doctor too much, get more and more frightened...i remember in the early days, i everytime wld go in the day and talk to loh koon...

now hor, i come and talk to parents everyday and socialise....heh heh........talking to doctor is not a necessity for me now..ha ha....

 

[stressed]

heh heh my dd dun like to be swaddled. Dun talk about forcing her hands together. She'll scream at me.

Re: TCM. I'll try it as long as it doesn't require her to consume any herbs. Just external administration like massage is ok for me. As to whether it works, I dunno coz we only started last week. I just don't put my hopes too high lah.

 

[voncm]

costa,

some nurses hv a way with bbs & can make bb do wonders... heehee

hv to say that nicu mi si are more steady, mainly due to their higher-stressed environment. scn mi si like more relaxed; can do & don't do kind.
good to lingo with all of them anyway... can learn their trade secrets

i did exactly wat u're doing now... early days always find doc/nurse to ask long ask short. later days, more yakking & socialising.

ya lor, my boy is rather persistent (aka stubborn) in wat he wants. shows anger when not given his way & has been like tis since early days. that's why he was well-known in NICU then (was 1 of the loudest & fussy bb).

 

[costa]

yvonne,

tink the mee see who managed to bottle him looks quite "on" sia.....you are right to say the mee see from nicu more zhai....

sigh...we hv been down the same route.....think preemies wld be stubborn because they are good fighters....my elder son (full term) also very stubborn one..even when kena threatened also will insist on his way....

 

[voncm]

stressed,

even when swaddled, his hands & legs will be out in less than half an hour.
even the nurses gave up & let him be until the next diaper change.

up till now, he kicks away the blanket almost immediately, hates to be covered up even when sleeping in aircon.

 

[stressed]

Hi Costa,

Forgot to say that I'm using MIM sling.

My dd also is a screamer right from day one. She had a very high pitch. Almost like taking nails and scratch the blackboard. Plus she also very loud. Once she cry, all the neighbours all wake up. All the mee see also scared.

Nothing's changed now. Just that her pitch is lower. *slap forehead*

 

[costa]

yvonne,

my kiddo oso like that, smtimes move until the head lunga the side of the cot..even the baby's mum next bed says the cot too small for him liao ha ha...

stressed,

my kiddo oso cries when he buay song...but machiam upside down, during visiting hours always sleeping and when i m not around, playing........

maybe yr gal can be singer next time...

 

[voncm]

costa,

he wants to impress u, so kwai kwai orh orh lah.
heehee... actually, same pattern as my boy. nurses used to tell me all the time how fussy he was before & after visiting hours. then when i'm there, he hardly fuss much & sleeps quiet.

these little fighters are really smart, they DO KNOW wat's happening & adapts accordingly... survival skill???

but the cot is really quite small. remembered 1 time, my boy's legs were dangling at the bottom (cot was tilted).

 

[costa]

yvonne,

yah loh, agree totally......the legs machiam cramped and curved and no matter how you carry him further up.....he wld slide down.....

tink when the nurse wanna go home, he wld make noise...i always tell the nurse....can you brg him home..the nurse says can but only if he can bottle ....ha ha...

the mee see says he can be awake at 4am and then when visitg hours come, he wld koon......like that, i want to bottle also difficult becuz yterday when the mee see was trying to bottle him, his eyes were like closing liao loh.....and the nurse kept hving to disturb him to wake him up...

 

[voncm]

heehee... mummy costa, be brave & go forth!
so far hv u started hands-on buay? time is running out liao leh. before u know it, bb is home. then u really kalang kabo...

 

[costa]

yvonne,
no leh, because now he is in a room which doesnt have the tub and when i am there, he is kooning...

tis wkend going to learn cpr....the hands on, i think not so soon, getting scared........

vy tired, evyday stay in hosp until very late...

 

[voncm]

morning costa,

that's why mummies are so wei da... sacrificing so much for kiddos.
try to take some tonic. i survived on chicken essence cos cooking was too much of a hassle.

 

[costa]

yvonne,

harlo, now kena sore throat....tink must be all the keeping of late nites...everyday go home late, sleep late...

tink will take some tonics when my throat better....sigh..thanks..

the mee see just called me to let me noe abt the five in one jab, was so scared when i saw the kkh number on my caller id right at work...really made me wake up when i am sleeping on the job...

 

[voncm]

oh, wat a wake up call!
planning to let yr boy take 5-in-1 in kk? how much is it?

actually, me still blur blur abt the jab packages. my boy took his 1st few at polyclinic.
it was when he has a very accurate local reaction to 1 session, then i switch to PD.

now, only know that he is due for MMR end of Nov. then learnt recently of the risk of MMR is autism & don't-know-wat & wat, so am thinking of delaying 1-2 months later.

 

[costa]

yvonne,
i oso not very sure, the nurse said cld be $68, she oso dun noe...

they said 6 in 1 is not suitable or preemies..wor...

there was research abt the autism thingy..but my elder son still took it.....does delaying the jab help?

 

[voncm]

oh, 6-in-1 not suitable??
just called up PD & the nurse says my boy is under the 6-in-1 package... how???

then again, my boy did the normal 3-in-1 for his 2nd & 3rd jabs (1st one at kk upon discharge). 4th was at PD. now i'm really confused

some mummies wait till kiddo cud talk, then go for the MMR. something abt being certain that the kid has no communication problem woh.

 

[costa]

i oso not sure leh..m confused myself...i think to be sure just follow wats in yr boi's health booklet...or ask the paedi or maybe its specifically my son's case thats why cannot take??

or maybe the jab yr son taking not same as my kiddo as they are different in ages?

i din noe abt waiting for the kiddo to talk before the mmr..but i noe some parents are very against it...but when a kid can talk, does it mean he/she not autistic...

 

[voncm]

ya lor, i shud just follow the health booklet schedule & save myself fr unnecessary headache hor.
like u say... the more u know, the more confusing it gets.

don't really know much abt autism... cud be that at least kiddo can communicate, then lower risk.
think usually, autistic kids are more withdrawn & get frustrated easily cos can't communicate their thoughts & feelings.

btw, how ur little warrior? bottling better now? any update on his rop & pda?

 

[costa]

Yvonne,
Harlo, again...so sleepy today and shagged...

tink autistic means the child gets lost in their own world and got difficulties communicating..but of cse my description is in general, not really very in depth

he is bottling a little bit only fm wat i heard fm the mee see who called me just now to tell me abt the jab...

his rop will be left as it is, weekly checkups and also pda if im not wrong, still at 1.2 mm...so far they din check again and no updates when i asked the mee see...

tink they wld hv to check the pda before he gets discharged....in the meantime just hope that his rop regresses.......

tink need the specific nicu nurse to do her guest appearance then he will bottle properly...ha ha ha..maybe he scared of her, so kuai kuai go and drink milk

tonite i got lessons, hope i dun fall asleep or rather if i do fall asleep, hope i dun snore...

 

[voncm]

hi costa,

how's ur weekend? managed to get the much needed rest?

 

[costa]

Yvonne,

Harlo, no leh, din rest much as i brot my elder son to see doctor for his allergic nose on saturday ..

sunday oso din rest, went to learn cpr and i oso blur..listen until like never absorb..ask me go demo, i oso gabra...after that, brot my maid to lucky plaza because i thot let her go and have a look....i want to peng san there..so many pple and so noisy....really cannot take it...went taka and finally had to sit at the fountain...too tired liao...

how abt you?