MOMMY CLUB - Yr 2007 P1's (Yr2000 Millennium & Dragon Babies)

Talking about lanterns reminds me about the pictures on the lantern my kid drew. There were 4 sides. I asked my kid why she drew an unhappy girl, with a downturn mouth and crying. She said,"Becos her friend died - she was bang by a car." Later, under the guidance of my husband, I realised the image she drew beside the unhappy girl was another girl lying on the ground, with blood spilling all over.
On another face, she drew a scenery picture with a black moon.
I find it abit morbid for kids her age to draw this kind of pictures, but I'm not too sure how to elicit her underlying feeling while drawing these pictures. Tried asking her, but she didn't seem to want to answer.
 


HI Wen,

I just went to get presents - some mugs and key chains during lunch. You might want to consider giving else like what Rains mentioned, your boy might feel left out if he is the only one without presents for the teachers.

My husband said no need but after thinking about it for a couple of days, I decided to get the presents.

Wah, this year got to spend more cos he has 7 teachers ..... unlike in kindergarten just 2 - 3 teachers who teach him.
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vq, veri nicely done up...

my gal made her own cards cos the school discourage the students from buying presents....
 
Oops, so i guess i have to scramble for some gifts. I dun even recall the number of teachers he has...jialat.
 
i ask my boy if he need to get any teachers' day gift for his teacher and he actually went and ask his teachers if they need anything for teachers' day!

he came back and told me that his teacher said no need.....
 
Actually, I think at lower primary or preschool level, not many children really know how to appreciate their teachers yet. So it's more like the parents buying /making something for the teachers in appreciation of what they have done for the children. And sometimes, gifts are bought simply because everyone else seems to be doing so...

Does your children's schools have any teachers' day celebration? My boy's school is having Aces' Day today and Be Yourself Day on Friday (not sure is that part of the celebration) but there is no half day.
 
VQ,

For enrichment teachers (outside school type), I might get my kid to make a card for them - if she has the time that is. As it is, she hasn't even started to make any card yet. At first, she wanted to buy things for her swimming coach and ballet teacher, but I figured it's abit over the board. So I told her no need. If like that, then next time if she has 5 enrichment teachers, I would have to get 10 presents. Too kua-zhang and wasteful already. It's not something I want to instil in her.

fz,

Hahahaa ... your boy is so funny. Of course the teachers say no need. I can't imagine a teacher telling your boy,"Yes, a present please." hahahaa ...

Jess,

I believe all schools would have Teachers' Day celebration. I think teachers in that school would go on strike if there isn't even a celebration for their day, no matter how brief it is. It's strange that your kid's school doesn't state that they have.

My school not only doesn't have half day, teachers still have to stay back and go to town to 'have fun' until five. I'd appreciate if the school operates from 7am to 1pm and lets us go home to spend time with our family instead.

I feel that most children have a spirit of giving. It's their nature to want to give. They actually have this disappointed face when I told them I don't want any presents. So Teachers' Day can be an avenue for kids to manifest that giving part of them.
 
hi mummies,

Got a problem. Wonder if you could give me your opinion on this:
My kid received a birthday invitation on this Saturday which coincides with her music lesson which costs $50 per lesson. She would really like to go for the party bcos it's quite novel to her - she's never been to a friend's party and it's at a swimming pool. And it appears that there's some sort of programme lined up for the party (I'm just guessing since it's a $2k party).
I'm wavering between letting her go and not. I don't want her to miss the music class since it costs money and am worried that she might miss out on the syllabus. However, I can tell that she does want to go so much - she told me how kind and nice the girl had been to her when she fell down once. I need to rsvp if I am taking her there.
Aiyo ... mummies, how?
 
rains, i would probably let my boy attend his first party invitation. but i'll explain to him that he may not be able go for the next one if it clashes with his weekend classes. i guess i would let him attend randomly if same situation occur.
 
rains
I will ask my girl to skip the party. She knows she cannot miss her classes unless we are on holiday. no other exception
 
<font color="ff0000">Rains,</font>
I am with <font color="ff0000">Wen</font>. Her son attended my DD's birthday party before. And i remembered seeing him, enjoying himself very much at his First birthday party Invitation. In fact, most of the children that day were attending their VERY FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!

I am glad that they enjoyed themselves VERY MUCH. At the end of the party, most of their parent really thank me for inviting their children. DH n i really enjoyed & felt worthwhile for the $$ spent!

I do agree that lesson cost $$$ but $$$ can't buy back ur DD's childhood.

You may check with the music teacher whether she can hv a make up lesson or ur DD will attend the class earlier or stay later for make up? If not, you will hv to let ur DD know that after attending this birthday party, She will hv to put in double efforts for the music lesson?
 
Hi mummies,

Thanks so much for your input.
I told my kid that if she really wanted, she could go for this one but she will not get to go for another one if it clashes with her music class again.
Sekarli when we called the birthday girl's mother to rsvp, she said time has been changed to a few hours earlier. My kid need not skip her music lesson after all!
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Thanks, Wen, hippo and VQ, whatever you mentioned were all that I had debated with myself ie. values versus childhood. Motherhood is indeed not easy. Besides the basics, we often have to face these dilemmas our mothers wouldn't face - they simply say 'No!'
 
hello mummies,

We went to the party today, and boy was I glad that I let her go!
It turned out that the birthday girl had been asking her mother every day if my kid was going to the party. And they are actually the best of friends on the schoolbus. It's a huge surprise to me becos my kid hardly mentioned this girl. And the girl was very nice to my kid throughout the party - she made sure my kid sat beside her during lunch and game time. I was so relieved becos before going to the party, I was so worried, all the time, that the girl would be too occupied with entertaining her own classmates who are older than my kid and neglect my kid. I was afraid that my kid might feel left out at the party. I had worried so much for nothing!
 
<font color="ff0000">Rains,</font>
i am glad that ur DD enjoyed this birthday party without "giving up" her music lesson!!!

i understand how happy u felt!!!
 
hi rains, glad to hear that u allow yr DD to go... cos i think even if she attend er music lesson... her heart will be at the party....
 
hi dorothy,

Why doesn't your gal want to take the grade 1 exam? Does she still enjoy ballet?
Did I say anything about my kid freaking out at the mention of 'exam' for her ballet earlier this year? She wanted to stop going for ballet. I had to keep assuring her that nothing bad is going to happen even if she 'failed' her exam before she agreed to take that exam.

Is it the idea of 'exam' that scares your gal?
 
hi rains, i think it's the extra lessons that freaks her out.... plus her daddy kept telling her that it is ok to stop if she dun wants to continue....sigh....

i just find it a waste loh after so many yrs of ballet...
 
dorothy,

I see. Poor thing la. Maybe it gives her the impression that ballet is alot of work. Anything that's too much becomes repulsive. Ya, there's an effect on the kids when we keep telling them it's ok to stop becos it is a clue to them that we'd like them to stop.

True, we may find it wasteful that the kid gives up after years of learning ballet. But I think more importantly, as you would already know, is whether the kid enjoy doing it. In any case, you've done your part to expose her to it, and she has experienced it before. Next time if she is interested again, she can pick it up again. But I'm just wondering if all ballet classes are like that - must increase number of lessons to prepare for grading exams. If like that, then maybe I also cannot tahan. Have you made enquiries around to see if other ballet classes are like this? My kid has only been through one exam (primary ballet I think) and there hadn't been any increase in the number of lessons then.

I've enrolled my kid into this music class and was at the same time contemplating getting my kid to do one-to-one private piano lessons. Bcos I find the music class abit slow moving. I find myself yawning at the class each time I go (parental involvement is compulsory). And it requires the kids to go through 3 levels before they start to prepare them for grading exams, which means my kid will only start to do her grade 1 at P4. But it struck me that one-to-one lessons might be just preparing her for the grading exams. I was reading some forum on piano lessons and I got worried that if I get my kid to go for one-to-one, she might only be equipped to play exam pieces. I would like her to have an interest in playing the piano rather than just knowing how to play exam pieces. But when I made enquiries at Yamaha, the recep was not able to tell me anything about their one-to-one lessons except that they goes by syllabus - er ... I think I also know that la, without them enlightening me on it.

Any mummies know anything about one-to-one piano lessons? Whether the kid will end up only knowing how to play exam pieces? I've also heard how some kids give up after a while becos it's too boring to learn one-to-one. Any mummies can give advice on this?

p.s.: Don't know also nevermind. You can always say or ask something else.
 
rains

I engaged a private tutor my girl. Initially was quite smooth. The teacher taught her nursery rhymes & she was willing to practice

After she completed her first book & the teacher switched to another book with songs that didn't appeal to her, she lost interest & refused to practice.

It's a pain nagging her to practice. I stopped her lessons after 1 year.
 
Rains
Whether one to one piano teaching is boring or not depends on child. If the child likes music and is disciplined enough to practise daily, then she won't be only playing exam pieces. According to my girl's piano teacher, she said that playing outside pieces do help to master different skills of playing. Maybe most teachers nowadays are like that, not taking exams every year. In a sense it is true. In another sense, you pay more money and go up the grade slower. It depends on whether you want slow and steady or move up the grade fast. It is better to finish G8 before "O" levels. It is unlikely for one to finsih G8 beyond "O" level due to school workload.

Learning piano is expensive. Personally I don't think one needs 3 years before taking G1. It is too long. My girl took G1 after 1.5yrs. Actually can be shorter because she is slow and does not practise. One more thing, you don't have to take grade by grade, you can skip. I originally wanted my girl to skip G1 after learning 1.5yrs but she cannot due to lack of practise. So no choice, I make her take exams every year. She had credit for G1, distinction for G2, now waiting for G3 result. She is in P4. Though I had G7, I was not the one who let her learn. It was my husband. Many times I nag at her to practise and show her how to practise and also engage in competition, but the type of don't care learning attitude, I want her to stop. But my husband said her results very good, don't stop.

Now she slowly likes and occassionally take out beginners songs to play. She still doesn't want to attempt harder songs.


Hippo2002
It is not easy to like classical music. But once you are tuned to it, it is okay. Sometimes, I play Richard Clayderman songs to instil her interest. She learn one piece of Richard Clayderman song (ie one page) by herself.
 
Hi Mummies,
SA2 coming next...stressed time again for parents. I'm getting my son to focus on learning the skill of answering questions for his English/Chinese comprehension.

Oral exams next week as well. That's all for now. Just took medication for running nose and feeling sleepy.
 
Thanks, hippo and carolinesg,

You're yet two other mummies I've read online that kids need to be nagged at to practise. I really don't want to end up nagging at my kid. I hate nagging as much as being nagged at. Of course nobody likes to nag la, just that I'll lose my temper if I need to say things twice. I think it's quite sad to nag at the kid over music.

O yes, I'm aware that you can skip grades. Part of the reason I signed my kid up for the music class was becos there are articles on children who skip grades after taking this class as it's supposed to build foundation. If that happens, then it'll save time and money in the long run. I'm not sure if they are isolated cases. I think I'll try to reach a decision by this term.

My kid got a mini result slip back on her CAs. I am quite disappointed to know that she's only better than 40 to 60% of the children in her class. I didn't think her results were excellent, but I didn't know that there're so many other children who are that good. I guess this is what they call a 'reality check'. It's also a red light warning that I haven't been a hardworking mother. I guess I've been with neighbourhood school children for too long that I've unknowingly accepted mediocrity. She actually tops my P2 school kids in a class test, so I got complacent and thought she's good already. Maybe age has caught up with me also. I find it hard to break out a mold of believing she's good enough. Sometimes I also worry that if I force her to practise Chinese and Maths, she might end up hating them, so I also don't push her. Hahahaa ... I sound like I'm trying to find excuses for my laziness. So sorry, mummies, for making you listening to my gripes. I'm worried about my kid.

Janet,

Do take care.
 
I am satisfy with my DD's CA2 results. Band 1 for all 3 subjects but not full 100 marks(with 1 mistake each!) i m quite sad that her chinese teacher told me that her result is no good. 43/45! 1 mistake minus 2 points!! she told me no good not enough!! i m already very happy abt her result liao!! i think they r giving my child too much stress. This is only a neighbourhood pri sch!!
 
VQ

agree. Sometimes dun know what the schools are thinking. My fren's son scored avg 70+ for his SA and my fren is already happy he din fail. And the teacher told her he is below avg!!!
 
SORRY! Can any of the mommies here tell me more about I-can-read system? What and how is the stress in the learning phonics program?
 
Hi Jovin, my boy learnt phonics from MMI when he was 5yrs so I have no input regarding "I-Can-Read" program. I think learning phonics was very fun for him and he looks forward to attend the lessons...no stress at all
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how do you prepare your kids for SA2? i find my boy has quite a number of homework everyday so hardly have time to revise with him. currently getting him to practise for oral.
 
My son also has more homework lately but not to the extend of having no time to study. He just had his CA before the 1 week school holiday in Sept so he had more or less already revised his work for term 1 to term 3. Now I just make him do 1 assessment paper for each subject once a week. How do you practise oral with you kid, Wen?
 
Wen and Jess,
Tell me about it. My kid's case is worse. She falls sick quite often and so she needs to complete work that her classmates have already finished in class which come up to quite alot. Almost all the time, she needs a few days to clear those schoolwork.
As and when she doesn't have homework, I get her to do those practice papers too.

Mummies, help!
We're also going to have 'Be Yourself Day' much to my dismay. And we need to dress up as a cartoon or movie character. That includes myself. I got a ballet-like skirt and am trying to wreck my brain over whether there's a character who wears something like that. Please help me think of a character that had worn a ballet-skirt!
 
jess, every night i just ask my boy to read a page from berries's mini booklet and teach him how to pause at a comma etc. Same goes for English.

heheh...rains...so now your turn to get the headache
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you mean you have to attend as well? Sounds fun but double the headache. sorry i'm not familiar with any character that wears a ballet-like skirt.
 
Thanks, Wen. I also get my son read from his berries booklet occasionally. But I think his weakness is more in picture story telling using his own words as he doesn't read enough chinese story books to describe fluently...

Rains, if your skirt is in pastel colours, maybe you can dress up as a barbie doll or the princess character in the Beauty and the Beast. For my son's school, the teachers also had to participate but their theme was "saving the environment". My son said that his teacher dressed up as a recycle bin and he threw paper on her as a joke!
 
Thanks, Wen. I also get my son read from his berries booklet occasionally. But I think his weakness is more in picture story telling using his own words as he doesn't read enough chinese story books to describe fluently...

Rains, if your skirt is in pastel colours, maybe you can dress up as a barbie doll or the princess character in the Beauty and the Beast. For my son's school, the teachers also had to participate but their theme was "saving the environment". My son said that his teacher dressed up as a recycle bin and he threw paper on her as a joke!
 
Wen, JessChan

my girl attended a trial at Berries recently. She can read every words in the little orange booklet after the trial. But when I picked a few words to write on a piece of blank paper & asked her to read to me, I realized she didn't recognise those words. She reads the booklet based on memory
 
Hippo,
How old is your child? I think it can be quite difficult to recognise chinese characters if you don't practise how to write, especially for younger kids unless there is frequent exposure to chinese reading. Even for English, I notice that some young children read books based on memory work if they are not taught phonics. So some parents may not realise that their kids can't actually read...
 
JessChan

my girl is approaching 6 years old in a couple of months. She will be studying higher Chinese in her future primary school so quite worrying. I think P1 needs to do sentence construction & some compo which is definitely beyond her

She attended Kumon Chinese for 6 months but too much homework so I withdrawn her. Her problem is over reliance on hanyu pinyin. She can't really read without hanyu pinyin.

Now I let her practice writing 3 Chinese words a day. Not sure whether that helps?
 
Hi Wen,
I set a timetable for my son to revise his 1A/1B text books every day. Nights, he will complete his homework fm school, then practise for his oral exam...which is about 5 min. Then will do about 1/2 hour Maths revision. Morning, I will revise his Chinese with him.
 
hippo, when my boy was younger he also memorise chinese passages and at first i was so impressed until i found out he reads from memory ;p

now at P1, when he can't read/remember certain chinese characters, i will make him write 10 times and you'd be amazed how well he'll remember the next time hehee.

i received exam preparation notes from my boy's school which i find very useful coz it gives me an idea what is required of the child. eg for picture description, they need to identify the setting first followed by describing the different components in orderly manner. so that gave me some pointers.
 
I think nowadays, the kids rely too much on hanyu pinyin. And I notice that sometimes my son simply reads the hanyu pinyin instead of trying to recognise the characters. I personally feel that a child will not be able to learn the language properly without practising how to write.It is ok for me to understand that children can learn how to speak without knowing how to write but to recognize characters without learning how to write, one would need a lot of exposure to the language.
I remember that we didn't have much of a problem learning more than 2 languages when we were young. But nowadays, many kids don't speak dialect at all and yet find Chinese difficult to learn....
 
Hi Jess,
It's true that we didn't have problems learning languages when we were young, but if we compare what we learned and what our kids learn now, what we learnt was really simple and pitched at our level. The content our kids face is so much more than ours, so that probably make languages difficult to learn, especially Chinese. I remember during my time, we learned one character at a time - about 2 characters a page - at P1. And then more characters were added progressively. I look at my kid's book and I thought it ridiculous to expect kids to learn so many characters at P1. It would be interesting to those who love Chinese, but daunting for kids who are more English-oriented. I myself feel that the curriculum is unrealistic. Actually, the same applies to Maths.

Mummies,
I got a problem here (It seems that I'm such a problematic mother). My kid took $50 to school the other day without our knowledge and spent it all on some Science fair stuff. She came back with bagfuls of Science experiment objects. I literally cried when I saw how she spent money. I had a talk with her, but somehow I feel that it's not solving the problem at its root. I think my kid is handling money the first time in her life and she's probably excited over the wonders money can do.
Do your kids spend money foolishly too?
 
Rains
When my girl was in P1, I also realised that she relied a lot on hanyu pinyin to read Chinese characters. But I think slowly, the kids would soon break away as they progress up to upper primary.

With regards to money, we don't put money in the open for children's access. My husband gives coins to both children for the habit of savings in piggy bank. My elder one do not take so much money to school when in P1/2. In P1, I gave her lunch box. In P2, occassionally $1 per day if I don't provide lunch box. I never give her any money to buy books (if there are book fairs in school) although she let me see how much the books cost. She is not the type who likes to read. In P4, the most she brings is $3.50 if there are fun fairs. Because she understands the value of money, she doesn't anyhow spend. Put it in another aspect, perhaps she know I am in control of everything. She is rather stingy unlike my younger one who is 5 yrs old who is easy with money if you ask from him.
 
rains, how did your gal have access to $50 note? my boy's money are either in the bank or in coin form that he keeps in piggy bank and he is really stingy about using them. he prefers to use our money and therefore has to ask us.

for the science fair, he brought home the pamphlet and i gave him a small amount of money to buy. i haven't let it happen yet but i'm sure if he has too much cash on hand the "floodgates will be released" and i won't be surprise he'll spend all on unnecessary stuff.

i'm constantly reminding him not to take money without permission even if it's his own. i also emphasise to him that money don't come easy and papa and mummy has to work hard for it. hopefully it gets into his head and don't treat it like easy come easy go.
 
Rains,

Ocassionally when we go out, we allow our son to bring some money from his savings to buy things that he likes because we want him to enjoy the "fruits" of his savings. We feel that if he cannot spend his savings, then he may not see the need to save but once he understands the purpose of savings, he also learns to spend his money wisely.
We also often told him how much we spent when we eat out or buy things for him and he would comment that "so expensive, I need to save very long in order to pay for that".
 
Thanks, mummies, for your responses.

My kid knows where my husband puts his wallet - in a little drawer on the study table. Altho she said that she took it from his study table, we believe that she had probably taken the money from his wallet bcos my husband wouldn't leave a $50 note lying on the table.

I've often told her about how expensive things are when we buy something for her and how hard I work to earn money but apparently it's not working. When I asked her how she could bring so much money to school, she said her classmates also brought so much money to school.

We made her sandwiches to bring to school, but recently, she's stopped eating them. She said she prefers the ones in school. We give her $2 per day becos the things sold in the school canteen are quite expensive. I find that I have nil control over how she spends money. I'd told her to set aside 50 cents every day for savings purpose but she seems to have problems saving even this amount. Really worrying.
 
Rains
If you have no control and your child has problem saving, if I were you, I won't give her pocket money, no $2 to buy food in sch. Just lunch box.

Maybe those who experience a need for money then they would save.

My husband always tells our girl that it does not mean others have, she must have. Other people's parents are rich. We are not, we are just okay, we are better than some poorer ones who don't go to eat at restuarants at all. So cannot compare. Have to live with means and be contended.
 
wah...rains, my boy will surely get it big time from us if we find him taking money from our wallets without our knowledge. did your DD communicate to you or your DH about needing money to buy science stuff before that?

anyway, perhaps your gal is succumbing to peer pressure. i think it's very important that our kids don't do that else may get bad influence from the naughty ones.
 


caroline3sg,
Thanks for the suggestion. I will monitor her spending habit and see if she's disciplined enough to save at least 50 cents per day. Like what you suggested, I will probably stop giving her pocket money if she can't save that amount every day.

I've talked to her before that we're not rich although we are not that poor. But I'm not sure how to imbue in her what it means to live within our means. We'd also told her that she cannot expect to have whatever her friends or others have, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Wen,
My kid insisted that the money was placed on the table. I don't want to accuse her of stealing which may hurt her feelings.
She didn't tell us about the Science fair. But we also have to take some responsibilities about what had happened bcos both of us are too busy with work that we don't get to check her bag and folder every day. I only discovered the matter when I was looking through her folder over the weekend and saw a Science fair booklet inside her folder.
I guess you're right. She keeps telling me that her friends have this and that. It seems to me that there's tremendous pressure to have what her friends have. I know how hard it is to stand up to that pressure and say,'I don't need it' becos I remember the peer pressure to buy branded stuff during my teens, even early twenties. I just didn't think that such peer pressure could set in at such an early stage.
sad.gif
I find myself quite lost at how to handle it bcos I myself succumbed to peer pressure to acquire something. How can I convince my own kid not to cave in under peer pressure?
 
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