IVF/ICSI Support Group
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- Start date
Nanz,
Oh i see .... Ai yo you mus be v zzz by the time you reach hom.
YA BOY, REALLY HOPE ALL THESE SIGNS WILL STAY THU OUT.............Ok , I will stay positive. I STRIKE LAIO STRIKE LAIO..... the pot of soup is boiling in the kitchen, but i cant wait already. Today got my progesteron test result. not very high. 75 only. can u remeber how much was yours?
Oh i see .... Ai yo you mus be v zzz by the time you reach hom.
YA BOY, REALLY HOPE ALL THESE SIGNS WILL STAY THU OUT.............Ok , I will stay positive. I STRIKE LAIO STRIKE LAIO..... the pot of soup is boiling in the kitchen, but i cant wait already. Today got my progesteron test result. not very high. 75 only. can u remeber how much was yours?
renee, tell u i very blur wan leh, i nvr ask them abt grade of embyros and level of blood test or wat thing they did on me..i thought only when got prob then they will tell u, so thru the process i nvr ask abt tis and tat and jus do watever the DR ask me to, and assuming no news from them is good new...it was until i know u girls then realise i shld know..rmbr the test result oso u ask me then i go and check...so me really no idea on the 1st blood test result. But one thing is they nvr increase my dosage for the progesteron...I was on 150ui all the way till day 17...but they gave me extra one tube spare which on test day itself i actually told them to inject for me since keepin oso no use ....BTW i thought the purpose of the 1st test is just to determine whether if the medicine dosage prescribed is enough for u, isn't it?
Oh..i nvr heard of buying BB clothed b4 3 mths leh...but I going to do so later...will go shop for one set b4 go for my class...Tks renee for this info.
Oh..i nvr heard of buying BB clothed b4 3 mths leh...but I going to do so later...will go shop for one set b4 go for my class...Tks renee for this info.
Renee,
R u happy with the result? This treatment will reduce fine lines and radiance yr face right? I backside itchy feel like doing something diff. Facial also must pay $100+ for peeling treatment (result last 1wk only) so maybe can try this.
Ya can understand some ppl pantang. Thanks
R u happy with the result? This treatment will reduce fine lines and radiance yr face right? I backside itchy feel like doing something diff. Facial also must pay $100+ for peeling treatment (result last 1wk only) so maybe can try this.
Ya can understand some ppl pantang. Thanks
BB,
Yes, I'm very happy wt the result so far. It did clear my old and stubborn clog pores. and touch wood, this time round of treatment I am doing ok, you now what I mean??
It's not for reduce fine lines lah, it suppose to clear up all the clogged pores and reduce acne marks. Ya loh, ever since I did hte MDA I never go for facial already.
Yes, I'm very happy wt the result so far. It did clear my old and stubborn clog pores. and touch wood, this time round of treatment I am doing ok, you now what I mean??
It's not for reduce fine lines lah, it suppose to clear up all the clogged pores and reduce acne marks. Ya loh, ever since I did hte MDA I never go for facial already.
Hi Ladies,
I am very happy to find this site and felt kinda' relief that I am not alone out that.
We have just received the bad news that we have to go thru IVF in-order to conceive. We have been trying for more than a year, and just realise that my hubby have low sperm count. I am very upset and worry as I never expect this will happen to us.
I am very scare as what will happen next. Crazy things going around my head. My hubby is not that suppportive as he find the whole thing have became so technical. I was wondering I can get some advise from you ladies? and what to expect?
Congrats to those have succeeded, and good luck to those who are in the process...
I am very happy to find this site and felt kinda' relief that I am not alone out that.
We have just received the bad news that we have to go thru IVF in-order to conceive. We have been trying for more than a year, and just realise that my hubby have low sperm count. I am very upset and worry as I never expect this will happen to us.
I am very scare as what will happen next. Crazy things going around my head. My hubby is not that suppportive as he find the whole thing have became so technical. I was wondering I can get some advise from you ladies? and what to expect?
Congrats to those have succeeded, and good luck to those who are in the process...
Renee,
Same i start to see discharge abt 2/3 days after ET, then was so worry thought mense coming? So i ask my sister who is also preggie (3rd time) told me it is normal to have discharge thru out pregnancy...as long as not red spotting then ok. Although some ppl say red spotting may be due to implantation, but in fact most of the time it a sign of menses pre-alert or it may oso indicate threaten abortion. Even the nurse at IVF told me most success cases no red spotting...and those have fail the process will start to see red or dark brown symptons around day 14 onwards.
So dun worry relax relax...strike liao, teok liao...
Same i start to see discharge abt 2/3 days after ET, then was so worry thought mense coming? So i ask my sister who is also preggie (3rd time) told me it is normal to have discharge thru out pregnancy...as long as not red spotting then ok. Although some ppl say red spotting may be due to implantation, but in fact most of the time it a sign of menses pre-alert or it may oso indicate threaten abortion. Even the nurse at IVF told me most success cases no red spotting...and those have fail the process will start to see red or dark brown symptons around day 14 onwards.
So dun worry relax relax...strike liao, teok liao...
Hello Rebekah, u found the right place. All sisters here are all good 'listeners' and advicers.
Dun be scare, IVF is not scary but personally I dun deny is quite mental stressful..so u gotta be mentally prepare and in control. And for sure, u have to get ur hubby to be supportive, as both of u really need to be the pillar to each other thru out the process.
Which IVF centre u are with? DUn worry, the DR and nurses will guide u thru the process..stay confident!
Dun be scare, IVF is not scary but personally I dun deny is quite mental stressful..so u gotta be mentally prepare and in control. And for sure, u have to get ur hubby to be supportive, as both of u really need to be the pillar to each other thru out the process.
Which IVF centre u are with? DUn worry, the DR and nurses will guide u thru the process..stay confident!
Renee, yes still go a few times...if not the same story lor...morning 5 or 6am will have difficulties. Did not sleep well last nite...woke up 4am...going to koon liao...still got to work tomorrow and friday. Looking forward to my weekend.
Till now, my hb still say goodnite to them...and of course must also say goodnite to me too.
Till now, my hb still say goodnite to them...and of course must also say goodnite to me too.
amateur_ivfian
New Member
blur,
u have to add petrol too...lotsa it...
u have to add petrol too...lotsa it...
durianmousse
New Member
Hi Rebekah,
It may or may not necessary be bad news, depending on which way u look at it. My wife and myself tried for over 3 years since marriage, but failed to conceive. We were like lost in the wilderness didnt know wats wrong. Till later part when both did a checkup then did we realised that it was due to bad sperm quality and decided to opt for ICSI.
Though we cant conceive naturally, but at least we knew wat the problem is and recified it by way of doing IVF.
It does sounds artificial and probably is a fact hard to accept for ur hubby at first.
But FIRST and FOREMOST is whether both of you are ready and want to have a baby?? and must accept the fact that going thru IVF is an acceptable process in order to reach you and ur hubby's goal.
Encourage him to read more about the process and probably can ask him to tag along when you are seeing ur gynae, let him be involved lest there's questions which he wishes to raise to clear his doubts. And also let him know that its quite a common problem and many other males in sg are also having the same problem as him, so that he would be more receptive to this problem of his.
IVF is not an easy path to take but its definitely worth it.
It may or may not necessary be bad news, depending on which way u look at it. My wife and myself tried for over 3 years since marriage, but failed to conceive. We were like lost in the wilderness didnt know wats wrong. Till later part when both did a checkup then did we realised that it was due to bad sperm quality and decided to opt for ICSI.
Though we cant conceive naturally, but at least we knew wat the problem is and recified it by way of doing IVF.
It does sounds artificial and probably is a fact hard to accept for ur hubby at first.
But FIRST and FOREMOST is whether both of you are ready and want to have a baby?? and must accept the fact that going thru IVF is an acceptable process in order to reach you and ur hubby's goal.
Encourage him to read more about the process and probably can ask him to tag along when you are seeing ur gynae, let him be involved lest there's questions which he wishes to raise to clear his doubts. And also let him know that its quite a common problem and many other males in sg are also having the same problem as him, so that he would be more receptive to this problem of his.
IVF is not an easy path to take but its definitely worth it.
Renee,
Finally have the Penang Laksa last nite at Geylang Lor 15...yummie...will still go citiplaza to try and see which is nicer....
It seems like most of us have sleeping problems, me oso nver sleep well again last nite. tis time is due to heatiness, my whole body just feel so hot and make me so frustated...imagine i wake up at 3am increase air-con temp and sleep w'out blanket...oso me now having backache and start developing rashes on my body...journey to motherhood is really tough but i'm sure it gonna be worth....
Finally have the Penang Laksa last nite at Geylang Lor 15...yummie...will still go citiplaza to try and see which is nicer....
It seems like most of us have sleeping problems, me oso nver sleep well again last nite. tis time is due to heatiness, my whole body just feel so hot and make me so frustated...imagine i wake up at 3am increase air-con temp and sleep w'out blanket...oso me now having backache and start developing rashes on my body...journey to motherhood is really tough but i'm sure it gonna be worth....
M
mk
Guest
Hi Wee,
My hubby sperm quality is also very bad....though the last gynae strongly recommend to us the IVF/ICSI option, I was pretty distressed and disturbed by the whole process of IVF/ICSI. To be very frank, I dun think that I am ready for this process yet.......but the dream of having a child still lingers in my head though many times, I told myself to try to forget the entire child dream process........
I truely admire both Hui and yourself for taking such courageous steps forward to embark this process.........with so much efforts and emotion involved. I am glad that both of you managed to pull thru'.........
As for me, I am pretty frustrated with my hubby........but this frustration does both of us no good...........well, I have to learn now and get myself prepared to remain childless.......anyway, IVF is just one option but even with that, it does not mean that the couple can successfully conceive thru that method.......emotionally, I am not a very strong person.....I can really imagine myself being very depressed if this method fails after going thru all that.......
Sorry, if I sound very negative.....as my dream of setting a family seems far and remote......dun know how to move on.......dun know which gynae to see now.......I have not tried KKH yet........
Cheers!
My hubby sperm quality is also very bad....though the last gynae strongly recommend to us the IVF/ICSI option, I was pretty distressed and disturbed by the whole process of IVF/ICSI. To be very frank, I dun think that I am ready for this process yet.......but the dream of having a child still lingers in my head though many times, I told myself to try to forget the entire child dream process........
I truely admire both Hui and yourself for taking such courageous steps forward to embark this process.........with so much efforts and emotion involved. I am glad that both of you managed to pull thru'.........
As for me, I am pretty frustrated with my hubby........but this frustration does both of us no good...........well, I have to learn now and get myself prepared to remain childless.......anyway, IVF is just one option but even with that, it does not mean that the couple can successfully conceive thru that method.......emotionally, I am not a very strong person.....I can really imagine myself being very depressed if this method fails after going thru all that.......
Sorry, if I sound very negative.....as my dream of setting a family seems far and remote......dun know how to move on.......dun know which gynae to see now.......I have not tried KKH yet........
Cheers!
Nanz,
Yee? Geylang lor 15 has penang laksa??? I wanna try alsoleh.
last night zzz not as bad. wen to zzz at 11.15 woke up at 7.30, wen wee wee twice only.
i think its bb's hormones that cos you to hv rashes....hope fully not though. cos normally ppl hav it much later into the preg. take care ya. go see dr if you cant bear the itch ok.
Yee? Geylang lor 15 has penang laksa??? I wanna try alsoleh.
last night zzz not as bad. wen to zzz at 11.15 woke up at 7.30, wen wee wee twice only.
i think its bb's hormones that cos you to hv rashes....hope fully not though. cos normally ppl hav it much later into the preg. take care ya. go see dr if you cant bear the itch ok.
Renne, tat stall got sell penang prawn mee oso and open till quite late. Cos we reach there abt 1030pm and is still open. Not bad lah the taste, but I long time no eat this liao so cannot comment is it the nice type (but i finish all the gravy, I just like the sour and hotness and i add extra chilla padi in)...U like penang prawn mee? one place to have nice penang prawn mee is at Ang Mo Kio, the S11 stall near KK-AMK...siao, now crave for the penang prawn mee liao.
Ya, I just chk wif some preggies in another thread and was told some ppl do experience rashes...at the moment i only apply the 'snake brand powder' lor..cooling and help to reduce the itchness...
I told myself I am going to sleep early tonite..really feel very tired and sleepy these two days.
Ya, I just chk wif some preggies in another thread and was told some ppl do experience rashes...at the moment i only apply the 'snake brand powder' lor..cooling and help to reduce the itchness...
I told myself I am going to sleep early tonite..really feel very tired and sleepy these two days.
Hi Renee,
Jia You!!! You still gg for accu?
Hi MK,
IVF is actually not that scary and stressful, at least for the jabs part.
You just have to keep an open mind throughout the process.
Initially, I was like you, scared of the stress from the jabs and scans and afraid on how to cope with it and work. But it's really 'cope-able'.
I understand how you feel. I had also gone thru frustrations and am also gg through it now and then. No one will understand how we feel unless they have walked our paths.
But I encourage you to keep your options open on fulfilling your dreams. I'm doing so, so that if I'm destined to be childless (*touchwood*), at least i know that i've done all i could.
Dun dwell on it too much also, not good for your mental health also..ok?
Hope I din offend you hor...
Jia You!!! You still gg for accu?
Hi MK,
IVF is actually not that scary and stressful, at least for the jabs part.
You just have to keep an open mind throughout the process.
Initially, I was like you, scared of the stress from the jabs and scans and afraid on how to cope with it and work. But it's really 'cope-able'.
I understand how you feel. I had also gone thru frustrations and am also gg through it now and then. No one will understand how we feel unless they have walked our paths.
But I encourage you to keep your options open on fulfilling your dreams. I'm doing so, so that if I'm destined to be childless (*touchwood*), at least i know that i've done all i could.
Dun dwell on it too much also, not good for your mental health also..ok?
Hope I din offend you hor...
M
mk
Guest
Hi BBA,
No worries, you did not offend me lah.....I am more than glad that anyone out there could just write to me and counsel me.....well, since the date of release of last semen results, I have been feeling down.....though I am trying hard to tell myself miracles do happen and to try to lift up one's chins......but you see that it is harder than ever......
Have you already gone thru IVF?
I know that it is really not an easy process especially when one is working and doing it.......there are too many what ifs??? Sorry....some people may not like to hear this as this are part and parcel of going thru IVF.....
I do admire those ladies out there who can afford to stop working and just concentrate on doing IVF and getting pregnant.......but such luxury does not apply to me.....I need to work as hubby is not financially stable......
Well, which stage of IVF are you at now? BBA, whichever stage you are in, I wish you all the best and may your baby dream comes true one day in the very near future.........
I do apologise for being so frustrated this morning as one of my colleague was just teasing me that I do this and that, like yoga, exercise, try to eat healthy and seeing gynae but all these efforts still fail......and why? I merely told them that such baby dreams are in God's hands and it is one's fate to have children......this colleague of mine has 2 beautiful kids....so, can talk lah......it is just too cruel for others to just laugh at another's problems just because they have not faced such issues before.........
What a world we are in!!!!
Enough said, for those who are TTC, good luck!
No worries, you did not offend me lah.....I am more than glad that anyone out there could just write to me and counsel me.....well, since the date of release of last semen results, I have been feeling down.....though I am trying hard to tell myself miracles do happen and to try to lift up one's chins......but you see that it is harder than ever......
Have you already gone thru IVF?
I know that it is really not an easy process especially when one is working and doing it.......there are too many what ifs??? Sorry....some people may not like to hear this as this are part and parcel of going thru IVF.....
I do admire those ladies out there who can afford to stop working and just concentrate on doing IVF and getting pregnant.......but such luxury does not apply to me.....I need to work as hubby is not financially stable......
Well, which stage of IVF are you at now? BBA, whichever stage you are in, I wish you all the best and may your baby dream comes true one day in the very near future.........
I do apologise for being so frustrated this morning as one of my colleague was just teasing me that I do this and that, like yoga, exercise, try to eat healthy and seeing gynae but all these efforts still fail......and why? I merely told them that such baby dreams are in God's hands and it is one's fate to have children......this colleague of mine has 2 beautiful kids....so, can talk lah......it is just too cruel for others to just laugh at another's problems just because they have not faced such issues before.........
What a world we are in!!!!
Enough said, for those who are TTC, good luck!
amateur_ivfian
New Member
MK,
staying at home, not working, & just focusing on IVF may not gurantee success, as shown by a few sisters. In fact, i've got a friend who did precisely that, but didn't get pregnant, so she went back to work, & got pregnant through FET while she was working full-time. Like what you've said, it's all in HIS hands. So when it's time, you will have a baby, no matter whether you are working or staying at home.
I too, was devastated after a few IVF attempts, and really wonder whether i shld give up the whole iodea of TTC. Very dis-illusioned...so i'm just resting now, and making sure my body goes back to normal.
Don't hurry yourself & hb into this treatment. It's important that both understand and are willing to accept the outcome, good or bad it may be. I always tell friends, the ivf journey shld bring the couple embarking it closer then b4, & not further apart. We would need emotional support from each other.
Take care.
staying at home, not working, & just focusing on IVF may not gurantee success, as shown by a few sisters. In fact, i've got a friend who did precisely that, but didn't get pregnant, so she went back to work, & got pregnant through FET while she was working full-time. Like what you've said, it's all in HIS hands. So when it's time, you will have a baby, no matter whether you are working or staying at home.
I too, was devastated after a few IVF attempts, and really wonder whether i shld give up the whole iodea of TTC. Very dis-illusioned...so i'm just resting now, and making sure my body goes back to normal.
Don't hurry yourself & hb into this treatment. It's important that both understand and are willing to accept the outcome, good or bad it may be. I always tell friends, the ivf journey shld bring the couple embarking it closer then b4, & not further apart. We would need emotional support from each other.
Take care.
durianmousse
New Member
hi MK,
dun be so pessimistic and dun be so frustrated with ur hubby k. Its not his fault right? Hui often tells me that during wedding vows, both promised to go thru good and bad times together...so there shldnt be any reason to be frustrated with the other party right? Look at it from another angle, a couple who has never gone thru tough times can never strength up their relationship. Only thru the most difficult of times can both really appreciate each other's support and presence. Its easy to find a hundred persons to spend happy times with u but not so easy to find a really good one to walk thru a storm leh.
i believe that everything has its own place and is all pre-planned by someone up there-fated. As long as u can accept and face this fact that whether at the end u have or dun have bb its out of ur control then u wun feel so sad. Just do watever within ur means the rest leave it to fate k. Dun stress urself out by keep thinking that both of u gonna go thru this life childless etc. The day will come when both of u r mentally and financially ready then think of wat you both want to do, ivf is one of the many options available. Who knows by then you maybe have conceived naturally. At the present moment both of u need to have a healthy diet to build up body, more importantly need to loosen dun be so stressed up cos stress is also a contributing factor for difficulty in conceiving (I think).
IVF is not a scary thing, its just the thoughts of going thru the unknown that makes it scary. The day will come when u will be ready and u wun feel so fearful of the process k. For your info, Hui and I went to register at KKH last year also but at the last moment i pulled the plug before the stage of signing the forms, as i was not mentally and finanically ready. Only this year then we went ahead for the IVF thing.
dun be so pessimistic and dun be so frustrated with ur hubby k. Its not his fault right? Hui often tells me that during wedding vows, both promised to go thru good and bad times together...so there shldnt be any reason to be frustrated with the other party right? Look at it from another angle, a couple who has never gone thru tough times can never strength up their relationship. Only thru the most difficult of times can both really appreciate each other's support and presence. Its easy to find a hundred persons to spend happy times with u but not so easy to find a really good one to walk thru a storm leh.
i believe that everything has its own place and is all pre-planned by someone up there-fated. As long as u can accept and face this fact that whether at the end u have or dun have bb its out of ur control then u wun feel so sad. Just do watever within ur means the rest leave it to fate k. Dun stress urself out by keep thinking that both of u gonna go thru this life childless etc. The day will come when both of u r mentally and financially ready then think of wat you both want to do, ivf is one of the many options available. Who knows by then you maybe have conceived naturally. At the present moment both of u need to have a healthy diet to build up body, more importantly need to loosen dun be so stressed up cos stress is also a contributing factor for difficulty in conceiving (I think).
IVF is not a scary thing, its just the thoughts of going thru the unknown that makes it scary. The day will come when u will be ready and u wun feel so fearful of the process k. For your info, Hui and I went to register at KKH last year also but at the last moment i pulled the plug before the stage of signing the forms, as i was not mentally and finanically ready. Only this year then we went ahead for the IVF thing.
E
ex-ivf
Guest
MK,
not everybody has the luxury to quit their jobs just to do IVF. Most of the ladies here are working full time while doing the program at the same time. It's a matter of juggling your time.
Agree that going for IVF is not an easy decision to make but it's really not as scary as many imagine it to be. Most important thing is to keep an open mind, be positive but of course must also prepare for the worst at the back of your mind.
Though IVF is not 100% guaranteed of success, it was invented to boost the chances of conception. Especially for those with little chance of to conceive naturally.
Like what BBA said, you can only give it a try to see if it works for you cos' it really differs from person to person.
not everybody has the luxury to quit their jobs just to do IVF. Most of the ladies here are working full time while doing the program at the same time. It's a matter of juggling your time.
Agree that going for IVF is not an easy decision to make but it's really not as scary as many imagine it to be. Most important thing is to keep an open mind, be positive but of course must also prepare for the worst at the back of your mind.
Though IVF is not 100% guaranteed of success, it was invented to boost the chances of conception. Especially for those with little chance of to conceive naturally.
Like what BBA said, you can only give it a try to see if it works for you cos' it really differs from person to person.
M
mk
Guest
Hi all,
Thanks for the many good encouraging words and advice........
I will definitely take in your words and be more positive......though many times, it is always easy to submit to the negative thoughts......
Wee, both of you and your wife are still very young........so envy your ages as not many people can get married at such a young age......well, glad to hear that all things work out for both of you.......after all that....
BBA, thanks for the encouraging words.......must learn to be like you so positive, despite all odds against us.......
Well, chin up and when the time is right, surely, our dreams of setting a family will come true.........let pray and hope for the best........
One positive note : the weekends are here......hooray....
Thanks for the many good encouraging words and advice........
I will definitely take in your words and be more positive......though many times, it is always easy to submit to the negative thoughts......
Wee, both of you and your wife are still very young........so envy your ages as not many people can get married at such a young age......well, glad to hear that all things work out for both of you.......after all that....
BBA, thanks for the encouraging words.......must learn to be like you so positive, despite all odds against us.......
Well, chin up and when the time is right, surely, our dreams of setting a family will come true.........let pray and hope for the best........
One positive note : the weekends are here......hooray....
durianmousse
New Member
Mk,
That time my results also very bad...only very few can move
, its not a good feeling for the male to be facing such a fact. U may be feeling frustrated but ur hubby will also feel very bad to be faced with such problem on his side. He may not show feelings but deep down inside surely he will feel much worse than you, this i know having come from a male perspective and having gone thru the same experience...
Try stay positive and give him all the support and encouragement that he needs, wat u give will be reciprocated k
eh...btw hui is still young...me in my thirties lor...lol
That time my results also very bad...only very few can move
Try stay positive and give him all the support and encouragement that he needs, wat u give will be reciprocated k
eh...btw hui is still young...me in my thirties lor...lol
M
mk
Guest
Wee,
At least for your situation, Hui is still young.....which is good coz both of you can still have many good years for conception...
As for my case, both myself and hubby are already in our 30s......time is not at our end.....so, I must really get prepared for the day that I will go thru life with a husband but with no kids........sorry, being negative again.......
How do you know only very few can move? Did you get to see under a special equipment?
Cheers!
At least for your situation, Hui is still young.....which is good coz both of you can still have many good years for conception...
As for my case, both myself and hubby are already in our 30s......time is not at our end.....so, I must really get prepared for the day that I will go thru life with a husband but with no kids........sorry, being negative again.......
How do you know only very few can move? Did you get to see under a special equipment?
Cheers!
durianmousse
New Member
MK,
i can only vaguely remember when told by the doctor that quality very bad, only few can move tats y asked us to do ICSI.
getting prepared is a good thing, cos it shows that u r managing ur expectations....but dun stay at both extremes k, being too pessimistic or optimistic are no good....
if its really fated that u both have to go thru life without kids *touchwood, then its just a small portion missing from both ur lives right? There's more to u and ur hubby's life right? Important thing u still have each other...there's a chinese saying bai nian xiu de gong zheng mian (100 years of cultivation to become husband and wife)
dun give up....jia you
i can only vaguely remember when told by the doctor that quality very bad, only few can move tats y asked us to do ICSI.
getting prepared is a good thing, cos it shows that u r managing ur expectations....but dun stay at both extremes k, being too pessimistic or optimistic are no good....
if its really fated that u both have to go thru life without kids *touchwood, then its just a small portion missing from both ur lives right? There's more to u and ur hubby's life right? Important thing u still have each other...there's a chinese saying bai nian xiu de gong zheng mian (100 years of cultivation to become husband and wife)
dun give up....jia you