Hi all,
thank you for your concern. I thought i was strong, but when i received the news my heart sunk. As i have been having cramps for a couple of days, plus the HPT test -ve, i already told Nicole that most likely a BPN. It was expected, but i didn't know it's so hard to accept.
I have quitted my job for one year. So that i can concentrate on TTC. Took TCM medicine for one year, accu for 3 months, quitted my social smoking habits for 2 years, quitted cold drinks, and many many more sacrifies. My menses used to be 35 days +/-, and stressful moments can drag over 45-50 days. And After few months of TCM and accu, my menses was 26,28 days for the past two months (which never happened before). So with all the effort that i put in, plus the changes in my menses cycle, i was really really hoping for a miracle to happen this time. Unfortunately, it didn't
Aafter i received the call, i started to question myself. WHat is wrong with me? I have done so much preparation and quitted all the food/things that may cause infertility. Had i not done enough? What else must i do to get pregnant? WHy is it so hard for me to have a baby? Is there any other health problems that i have and i don't know?? All the questions started to appear before me. (develyn, u really spotted on. This is exactly what i did after answering the call)
Like what Nicole said, it's not the physical pain but rather the emotional pain that it's not easy to get over. Mine maybe just SO-IUI and not IVF yet, but trust me, i have been through some other more painful means to TTC.
Anyway, really glad that this thread exist. Because after i woke up, the first place i turn to is here. Because no one else will understand as much as you ladies here.
Eskimobaby,
COngratulations! SO happy for u. The discomfort u have is worth it! Only by hearing more BFP news will give us more hopes. In fact, Nicole was sitting beside me, but when you came over, she just went in for the BT.
Not sure can i go straight into the ivf in jul, cos when Dr loh asked me to try SO-iui was in apr, but i hesitated till this month. WIll call them to check tomorrow.
Shall binge on all the junk food that i missed this week, go shopping (since i was grounded for 2 weeks) and start my TTC all over again.
Nicole,
we must jia you again!
Pardon me for the long message. I am drinking and writing at the same time. Hope it's not the effect of alcohol. haha....