Husband sleeps with my maid

[Kopi lim]

May I know how do u found out ur hubby is visiting prostitiues?

I was changing my baby's diaper when his phone (which is placed on the table charging) has a notification "miss you" which caught my attention. He has passcode to his phone so I wake him up from his sleep and bluffed Him that I need to use his phone to take a photo of my teeth cos my teeth has food stucked and I couldn't get it out. He believe me cos my phone data is always used up due to me taking too many photos of my kids.

When he pass me the phone, I tricked him to go help change my child's diaper and I quickly search for the text. Saw the flirty messages in line app. And realised it's a Thai girl. Of course he lied to me that the woman is someone he met when he goes to pub with his ns friends etc and it was just flirting etc. I got emo and was sitting on the bed in deep thoughts so he had that few hours to delete the contacts and messages and many other things in his phones.

A few weeks later I decide to check his email. Although he attempt to delete many things I still found some link to some websites with Thai prostitutes services and I immediately link it to the flirty messages. After that he admitted that he has been visiting Thai prostitures during my second pregnancy. After my first pregnancy, he went for dirty Massagers, mostly by prc ladies in condos. Long story short, he confessed many things to me but up till this day, I still sometimes doubt whether he brought the pros out to eat or swim or has he visited Thai discos or ktvs etc which he claim he didn't. I Guess the trust is broken it's hard to believe him even though he confessed so many things to me. And my hubby has done a lot to try to gain my trust back like crediting his pay to my account, letting me keep all his cards, calling me from office in the morn and before he leave work, sending lunch time food pics to me and I can call him or check on him in any manner I wished. Despite all these, I m still struggling to trust him back and want to salvage the marriage. So I applaud women who loves their hubbies so much that they keep giving chances. For me, once is enough for me. If not for kids and his efforts, I would be gone lone ago.

 

[mimicoco77]

Hi,

I read your ordeal and it pains me to read them. My hubby was caught visiting and flirting with prostitutes. I discovered in feb 2016 during my maternity leave. It was very painful and although it is almost 1 year and 5 months since the discovery day, at times, I still feel insecure and pain from the betrayal. Reading that your hubby betrayed 10 years ago and repeated his offence after so many years worries me. Like you, I also give my hubby a second chance but your hubby can repeat after 10 years sets me thinking. Will my hubby repeat too?

The difference I see between your hubby and mine is the reason they give for the betrayal. My hubby states 1) work stress 2) sexual frustration 3) porn addiction as his reasons. Your hubby use black magic as his reason. I read somewhere that a person who uses excuses and external factors as reason for betrayal will never change because they don't see it as their problem. Hence not surprising that your hubby did it again. You are actually very brave to hire maid again. I think I will have phobia with maids if this happens to me. In fact, I don't dare to hire maids now cos my hubby ever told me that he read about guys sleeping with maids in sammyboy forum and I am afraid that he might get the same idea if I ever hire one. Now he is not supposed to watch porn or read any sex forums anymore after the betrayal.

During the 10 years after the first betrayal, are there any boundaries that you set for your hubby and did he do anything to try to gain back your trust? How is his behaviour during those 10 years? You've got 3 kids and I have 2, I wonder whether my marriage will also end up with divorce one day. If it does, no I don't wish for it to end after second betrayal, I rather end it now.

Hi

I m sorry too the ordeal u went through. Yup, initially he was a very nice guy after the affair exposed in 10 yrs ago , I tried to salvage the marriage by
1. Be very good at sex to satisfy him
2. Did a ligation so that he can enjoy sex (I no longer can give birth)
3. Try to born him a son as my mother in law advised , 2 daughters at that time.
4. Pay all house hold as advised by sisters in law so that he don't feel stress (my sisters in law said they pay everything for their husbands, telephone bills, car installments, all children expenses etc)
5. (Most regret) put all my insurance including my daughters insurance policies under his name but I continue paying them , as advised by my in law so that he can feel he is head of household

As u see, Still, still no use. I was also young n n straight at that point of time, didn't think that my in laws or their son hv ulterior motive - getting the house, my insurance n my miserable saving... (hopefully U m wrong) but below evidence shown otherwise.

By the way , I do not hv evidence on this but my daughter was advised by their father not to touch my food (claiming unhealthy.... at that point of time just before the 2014 when taffair was discovered. ) My insurance was above million of dollars . So u see, the divorce was the best thing ever happened to me cos I may hv lost my life as some of madam did.

In my area , I heard from one of the maid whom worked here very long. Some maid took over the household after their Madam die. (Usually die of sickness, but these madam were not old, there are 2 cases in my areas. Now, Their maid is the mistress of the household. I m sure u gals know that of Philippine maid story taking care of the household story when their Madam die.. something's they very graceful to help /be the children step mother , it is very common these days. Some of these maid evi us (married women inSG) very much n hv planned their plot to take over the household. Of course , Not all maid are like that but this is a common strategy among the maid. Beside , This is also a win win situation for both men of household n the maid. Conspiracy...

I m writing this real society problem to serve us as an warning to all gals out there. NEVER tell yr husband yr insurance info, also yr saving .

Of course , as husband n wife there should be trust factor, however, people change along the years n money can be attract factor to commit crime , it is Better be vigilant than sorry ....

Hope the advise help, I still advocate save yr marriage but be smart about it.

 

[Kopi lim]

May I know how do u found out ur hubby is visiting prostitiues?

I was changing my baby's diaper when his phone (which is placed on the table charging) has a notification "miss you" which caught my attention. He has passcode to his phone so I wake him up from his sleep and bluffed Him that I need to use his phone to take a photo of my teeth cos my teeth has food stucked and I couldn't get it out. He believe me cos my phone data is always used up due to me taking too many photos of my kids.

When he pass me the phone, I tricked him to go help change my child's diaper and I quickly search for the text. Saw the flirty messages in line app. And realised it's a Thai girl. Of course he lied to me that the woman is someone he met when he goes to pub with his ns friends etc and it was just flirting etc. I got emo and was sitting on the bed in deep thoughts so he had that few hours to delete the contacts and messages and many other things in his phones.

A few weeks later I decide to check his email. Although he attempt to delete many things I still found some link to some websites with Thai prostitutes services and I immediately link it to the flirty messages. After that he admitted that he has been visiting Thai prostitures during my second pregnancy. After my first pregnancy, he went for dirty Massagers, mostly by prc ladies in condos. Long story short, he confessed many things to me but up till this day, I still sometimes doubt whether he brought the pros out to eat or swim or has he visited Thai discos or ktvs etc which he claim he didn't. I Guess the trust is broken it's hard to believe him even though he confessed so many things to me. And my hubby has done a lot to try to gain my trust back like crediting his pay to my account, letting me keep all his cards, calling me from office in the morn and before he leave work, sending lunch time food pics to me and I can call him or check on him in any manner I wished. Despite all these, I m still struggling to trust him back and want to salvage the marriage. So I applaud women who loves their hubbies so much that they keep giving chances. For me, once is enough for me. If not for kids and his efforts, I would be gone lone ago.

Hi

I m sorry too the ordeal u went through. Yup, initially he was a very nice guy after the affair exposed in 10 yrs ago , I tried to salvage the marriage by
1. Be very good at sex to satisfy him
2. Did a ligation so that he can enjoy sex (I no longer can give birth)
3. Try to born him a son as my mother in law advised , 2 daughters at that time.
4. Pay all house hold as advised by sisters in law so that he don't feel stress (my sisters in law said they pay everything for their husbands, telephone bills, car installments, all children expenses etc)
5. (Most regret) put all my insurance including my daughters insurance policies under his name but I continue paying them , as advised by my in law so that he can feel he is head of household

As u see, Still, still no use. I was also young n n straight at that point of time, didn't think that my in laws or their son hv ulterior motive - getting the house, my insurance n my miserable saving... (hopefully U m wrong) but below evidence shown otherwise.

By the way , I do not hv evidence on this but my daughter was advised by their father not to touch my food (claiming unhealthy.... at that point of time just before the 2014 when taffair was discovered. ) My insurance was above million of dollars . So u see, the divorce was the best thing ever happened to me cos I may hv lost my life as some of madam did.

In my area , I heard from one of the maid whom worked here very long. Some maid took over the household after their Madam die. (Usually die of sickness, but these madam were not old, there are 2 cases in my areas. Now, Their maid is the mistress of the household. I m sure u gals know that of Philippine maid story taking care of the household story when their Madam die.. something's they very graceful to help /be the children step mother , it is very common these days. Some of these maid evi us (married women inSG) very much n hv planned their plot to take over the household. Of course , Not all maid are like that but this is a common strategy among the maid. Beside , This is also a win win situation for both men of household n the maid. Conspiracy...

I m writing this real society problem to serve us as an warning to all gals out there. NEVER tell yr husband yr insurance info, also yr saving .

Of course , as husband n wife there should be trust factor, however, people change along the years n money can be attract factor to commit crime , it is Better be vigilant than sorry ....

Hope the advise help, I still advocate save yr marriage but be smart about it.

omg, I m so amazed from points 3 to 5! You actually believe what they say and follow suits? When a guy stray, it's him who has problem and he should be the one making changes and putting in efforts but your in laws actually advised you to do all those? If the problem doesn't lie in you, nothing you do can change anything. It Must come from the person who stray! Lucky you are not poor and managed to divorce and not have to financially rely on him!

But I m quite appalled at him cheating with maids and actually want to make The Maid the Mistress. I know sex with maids are free as compared with pros but are maids so attractive as compared to Mistress outside? Or maybe your ex is so pampered by his family that he is basically useless in earning money and hence can only get maids for free sex. One good thing from this ordeal is that they made you work and pay for everything! Which means you are financially independent and able to divorce easily as compared to those not working and with kids still financially dependent on the hubby.

Reading all these forums and news about maids, yah I definitely don't trust maids anymore. Some of them are so greedy and slutty that they just want to get money and feel attractive and can do anything. My hubby is the one who pays for most insurance and stuffs in the household so the only way he can harm me is to cause my death which gives him insurance payout Lor. How pathetic that in a marriage, spouse had to Guess and defend themselves against spouse.

Makes me kinda lazy to salvage my marriage. I don't Know for now what is my future like. I only know that my hubby pay is now credited to my account and I hold all his credit cards, he is having 10 dollar allowance from me each day. I Guess this will go on for a few more years. I dunno when will I ever trust him back. In fact, his betrayal definitely cause him to trust me less and doubt me also especially when his money is with me. But I take it that it's his punishment for lying and injecting so much poison into our relationship.

 

[mimicoco77]

I was changing my baby's diaper when his phone (which is placed on the table charging) has a notification "miss you" which caught my attention. He has passcode to his phone so I wake him up from his sleep and bluffed Him that I need to use his phone to take a photo of my teeth cos my teeth has food stucked and I couldn't get it out. He believe me cos my phone data is always used up due to me taking too many photos of my kids.

When he pass me the phone, I tricked him to go help change my child's diaper and I quickly search for the text. Saw the flirty messages in line app. And realised it's a Thai girl. Of course he lied to me that the woman is someone he met when he goes to pub with his ns friends etc and it was just flirting etc. I got emo and was sitting on the bed in deep thoughts so he had that few hours to delete the contacts and messages and many other things in his phones.

A few weeks later I decide to check his email. Although he attempt to delete many things I still found some link to some websites with Thai prostitutes services and I immediately link it to the flirty messages. After that he admitted that he has been visiting Thai prostitures during my second pregnancy. After my first pregnancy, he went for dirty Massagers, mostly by prc ladies in condos. Long story short, he confessed many things to me but up till this day, I still sometimes doubt whether he brought the pros out to eat or swim or has he visited Thai discos or ktvs etc which he claim he didn't. I Guess the trust is broken it's hard to believe him even though he confessed so many things to me. And my hubby has done a lot to try to gain my trust back like crediting his pay to my account, letting me keep all his cards, calling me from office in the morn and before he leave work, sending lunch time food pics to me and I can call him or check on him in any manner I wished. Despite all these, I m still struggling to trust him back and want to salvage the marriage. So I applaud women who loves their hubbies so much that they keep giving chances. For me, once is enough for me. If not for kids and his efforts, I would be gone lone ago.


omg, I m so amazed from points 3 to 5! You actually believe what they say and follow suits? When a guy stray, it's him who has problem and he should be the one making changes and putting in efforts but your in laws actually advised you to do all those? If the problem doesn't lie in you, nothing you do can change anything. It Must come from the person who stray! Lucky you are not poor and managed to divorce and not have to financially rely on him!

But I m quite appalled at him cheating with maids and actually want to make The Maid the Mistress. I know sex with maids are free as compared with pros but are maids so attractive as compared to Mistress outside? Or maybe your ex is so pampered by his family that he is basically useless in earning money and hence can only get maids for free sex. One good thing from this ordeal is that they made you work and pay for everything! Which means you are financially independent and able to divorce easily as compared to those not working and with kids still financially dependent on the hubby.

Reading all these forums and news about maids, yah I definitely don't trust maids anymore. Some of them are so greedy and slutty that they just want to get money and feel attractive and can do anything. My hubby is the one who pays for most insurance and stuffs in the household so the only way he can harm me is to cause my death which gives him insurance payout Lor. How pathetic that in a marriage, spouse had to Guess and defend themselves against spouse.

Makes me kinda lazy to salvage my marriage. I don't Know for now what is my future like. I only know that my hubby pay is now credited to my account and I hold all his credit cards, he is having 10 dollar allowance from me each day. I Guess this will go on for a few more years. I dunno when will I ever trust him back. In fact, his betrayal definitely cause him to trust me less and doubt me also especially when his money is with me. But I take it that it's his punishment for lying and injecting so much poison into our relationship.

Thank for the reply n comments.

I somehow feel that men may think that the punishment is too much n stray again as there r too much temptation fr external environment.

Don't be too harsh. my lesson learnt is nobody a winner when divorce happened.

Actually, I m not rich, but hv good exposure in financial env, I read n attend many courses n seminar on money matter. I advocate every women to be financial sound. I do manage my money well. I do not anyhow spent money e.g. Branded goods (used to). Now, I put my money into good use e.g. Buying blue chip shares to earn dividends

I teach my children the value of money . But at the same time, telling them money is not everything. When u need to pamper yrself, u must do it. Don't become a frugal.

I hv good relationship with my lawyer. However, I realize it is still possible to do the affili n summon yrself to save save cost, thus, I terminate his service.

Also an insight for myself, I shall not be punished by this ordeal again. I m gg to feel happy fr now onwards n don't let this event steal away my children n my happiness.

 

[mimicoco77]

Thank for the reply n comments.

I somehow feel that men may think that the punishment is too much n stray again as there r too much temptation fr external environment.

Don't be too harsh. my lesson learnt is nobody a winner when divorce happened.

Actually, I m not rich, but hv good exposure in financial env, I read n attend many courses n seminar on money matter. I advocate every women to be financial sound. I do manage my money well. I do not anyhow spent money e.g. Branded goods (used to). Now, I put my money into good use e.g. Buying blue chip shares to earn dividends

I teach my children the value of money . But at the same time, telling them money is not everything. When u need to pamper yrself, u must do it. Don't become a frugal.

I hv good relationship with my lawyer. However, I realize it is still possible to do the affili n summon yrself to save save cost, thus, I terminate his service.

Also an insight for myself, I shall not be punished by this ordeal again. I m gg to feel happy fr now onwards n don't let this event steal away my children n my happiness.

The video about dealing with stress in life. Not about religion talk. Enjoys.

 

[Kopi lim]

Thank for the reply n comments.

I somehow feel that men may think that the punishment is too much n stray again as there r too much temptation fr external environment.

Don't be too harsh. my lesson learnt is nobody a winner when divorce happened.

Actually, I m not rich, but hv good exposure in financial env, I read n attend many courses n seminar on money matter. I advocate every women to be financial sound. I do manage my money well. I do not anyhow spent money e.g. Branded goods (used to). Now, I put my money into good use e.g. Buying blue chip shares to earn dividends

I teach my children the value of money . But at the same time, telling them money is not everything. When u need to pamper yrself, u must do it. Don't become a frugal.

I hv good relationship with my lawyer. However, I realize it is still possible to do the affili n summon yrself to save save cost, thus, I terminate his service.

Also an insight for myself, I shall not be punished by this ordeal again. I m gg to feel happy fr now onwards n don't let this event steal away my children n my happiness.

Hello,
Thanks also for replying me and sharing the video. I am not stress right now so I watch it when I am stress yah. Currently not stress but feels a bit hopeless or kinda bored with my status as Mother and Wife now. Had this strong craving to be free again and free to date again but I can't due to married and Mother status. I start to look back at my Sec school old classmates photos and start to wonder how my life would be if I marry one of my classmates instead of my current Husband. Probably this is the damage done when hubby eat out. At first it made me feel unattractive but now I find him unattractive. Don't know whether I'll still be with him 5 years down the road. Yah you are right, divorce hurts everyone, only lawyer gets to earn I Guess. But I don't think of divorce as punishment or revenge. Sometimes I just doubt whether I still love him or want to spend my life with him, hence think of divorce.

How do you feel towards your hubby after he first betrayed you? Seem to me he doesn't need to do anything except admitting he is wrong and push blame to black magic? And then just send maid away and he goes on life without having to do anything to earn your trust? How did you find courage to hire another maid then? And do you still find him attractive after that betrayal?

I don't get it when you say men may think the punishment is too harsh and stray again as temptation outside is strong? To me, I already do reflection and resume intimacy with him, I try to control my emotions as much as possible but of course there are times I still ask him questions but not as often. If I have already done my part and he still stray just because of punishment (to me is not punishment. It's his willingness to sacrifice freedom to earn back my trust and let me resume my sanity) or temptations, then at least I have a more direct answer and choice to go ahead with divorce even with kids. I think no men can push the blame to punishment, temptations or black magic etc, no one force you to stray, you stray because you let your mind run wild and you failed to commit yourself to relationship so even if it's Simeone else or no punishment , he will still stray so might as well end the marriage, not get into relationship and go on with visiting prostitutes life, at least you don't Need to lie to anyone anymore right.

 

[Kopi lim]

By the way. Do you mind letting me know your age and your children age and at which age you divorce? So your hubby is alone or he has gotten a new partner?

 

[Angrywife]

Hi all

I just found out that my husband slept with my maid. I have 3 young kids n school will be reopen soon. I am so sad n confused that I m not sure what to do. My head is exposing n pray that I will not jump down fr my flat. The pain is too much. I didn't even hv the courage to expose them.

Hello, I feel your pain and hopefully you have managed to move on and found happiness. I only found out my husband was sleeping with my maid for 5yrs in my own house. She use to say, you are like my mother & father and here she was sleeping with her father like employer. She also slept with multiple men and use to organise Sunday fest with a few men at one time. Videos and photos were sent to me by one of her boyfriend’s. I can’t get to her at all as she is now employed by a German employer married to Indonesian, 3 kids. The employer won’t wanna listen to me and blocked my calls. Really don’t know what The Maid told the new employer. There are messages where she got paid by other men. So much so she also slept with one of our regular guest in his hotel room. The maids name is Nor Hasanah Bt subaidi sairan and she works at admore park. This woman is dangerous! We don’t live in Singapore anymore and are only found out 3 weeks ago. Ladies, do not trust your maids ever … i did. Looked after the evil person like a younger sister. Ofcourse the my husband is no angel. It takes two to tango and they did it for 5 years!

 

[hanahana]

warn him and tell him the truth to stop doing that







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