Hubby cannot sleep with crying baby

[melodymin]

My hubby is a light sleeper. He doesn't mind taking turns to care at night but he sets roster to who wakes up at what time. Last night my baby woke up every hour since 3am and he got frustrated cos disturbed his sleep. He asked me to feed him in baby's room or else he will sleep in the guest room. Baby is currently sleeping with us. But he doesn't understand that it's the initial crying for milk is what wakes him up and not the feeding. He said he will feed from 1-2am and I will feed from 4-5am. So what happens if baby wake up more that these timings like last night? I feel that he cannot accept that he can't sleep like the past when we did not have kids. And I feel that we should not be sleeping in separate rooms.

 

[Stella123]

My hubby is a light sleeper. He doesn't mind taking turns to care at night but he sets roster to who wakes up at what time. Last night my baby woke up every hour since 3am and he got frustrated cos disturbed his sleep. He asked me to feed him in baby's room or else he will sleep in the guest room. Baby is currently sleeping with us. But he doesn't understand that it's the initial crying for milk is what wakes him up and not the feeding. He said he will feed from 1-2am and I will feed from 4-5am. So what happens if baby wake up more that these timings like last night? I feel that he cannot accept that he can't sleep like the past when we did not have kids. And I feel that we should not be sleeping in separate rooms.

When my kids still cant sleep through the night, me and baby will sleep in one room, while hb cont to zzz in masterroom. 1 sleep deprived is better than 2 sleep deprived person. The well rested person can help out during the day while the sleep deprived takes a nap.
Personally, this arrangement works well for us. If both of us are sleep deprived, we tend to get snappy at each other which is not good.

 

[pixie ng]

my hub and i are sleeping in separate rooms... but the reason is opposite from you.. his snores will wake up my twins... anyway for my case i'm solely taking care of my twins, so even my hub sleeps with us, he also not helpful since he is a deep sleeper... earthquake also won't wake up

 

[Sunnydaysagainz]

My hubby cannot even sleep when baby is in the room and not crying. We have tried many times to move the baby into our room, either in cot or share our bed but hubby just cannot sleep. So baby has his own room and I will go over to look after him when he cries at night. Hubby will help out more on weekend nights. I have thought about asking hubby to leave me and baby in the room and he goes to sleep somewhere else in the house also. But I think it will not be good for our relationship also. Hence we are still sticking with the current plan but I will sleep with baby when baby really cannot falls asleep and needs me to hug him

 

[Wlj]

Depending on the frequency your baby needs to be fed, it may be worth choosing to sleep in separate room from your husband... especially if he's working during the day. If he doesn't get adequate rest for a prolonged period, it may do more harm to your relationship than if both of you sleep in separate rooms.

You may wish to consider having your husband sleep in the same room when he doesn't have to work the next day.

As our baby is only a month old now (feeds every 2-3 hours) and I'm on maternity leave, I take primary responsibility to take care of her feeding and diaper changing needs at night, and my husband sleeps in a separate room on weekdays. My mom helps in the day so I can get more rest. On the nights of Friday to Sunday, husband rooms back in with baby and me, and helps to care for baby in the night too.

Article of interest: https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/ba..._YourDailyNewsletterfromWhattoExpect_20170627

 

[Wlj]

Oh, and to add, I believe in on-demand feeding which is what my pd also recommends relative to scheduled feeding. To persuade/convince your husband, perhaps ask your pd to advise on baby's feeding needs when your husband visits the pd with you, ask your husband to read relevant articles, or secretly "collaborate" with a trusted friend of his to sell the points you're trying to make. Your choice of methods will depend on what you think would be most effective with your husband.

Then again, I know of people who can be very stuck on certain beliefs no matter what... I'm guilty of it too!

 

[melodymin]

Thank u all for sharing your experiences. Now we have work out a routine. We sleep together but take turns to feed baby at night. We carry baby to nursing room/ baby's future room and bring him back to bed once that was done. It has worked pretty ok so far.

 

[Wlj]

Good to hear you've worked it out with your husband, melodymin