Flirting msg

pmiyakie

New Member
Hi I need some advice.

Few weeks ago I accidentally gone thru my hb whatsapp and has found out there are a few flirting msgs between him and a female colleague . The woman who already married with two teenagers wrote : miss u. Can help me to tabao food. My hb in return replied her back "miss u too" back.

The 2nd message came few days later " today no need to buy food for me. But I miss u." My hb in return reply back. "Miss u. OK. "

Can anybody tells me is there anything wrong with these msgs? I confronted my hb immediately and be told me they just kidding or playing. Most of his other colleagues also received similar msg from this woman. I don't think is a minor thing, my heart was in pain when I saw his reply. I told him 写者无意读者有意。 I question him and ask him why he need to reply miss u back and told him that although u don mean anything but the other party might mistaken yr reply and might think you Want to continue further with her. This is how office secret affairs start.

I myself think that woman 6th sense is very accurate. Deep inside me I felt that she has feel for my hb.

I have talked to my hb and has agreed that he will not do it again. But till now I still unable to put down. I keep thinking why in his msg he wrote miss u. I still unable to accept this. I trust my hb and he is a good father and hb. He don't drink he don't smoke he took care of the household chores and after work he came back home.

Do you all think I am over sensitive. To me it's a mental betrayal although I know there isn't anything between them. But I can't help myself. I am unable to think straight. I couldn't sleep and been imagining a lot of things.
 

IMO no normal colleagues would say such things to each other, let alone reciprocate if there is really nothing else going on. Best to continue talking about it with him otherwise what you keep within you may fester into something much worse in the future.
 

pmiyakie

New Member
Thanks for the advice. In fact I had spoken to him thrice. The last time I talked to him was actually I found out that he deleted the last whatsapp msg.

I freaked and asked him why did he deleted. He told me she did msg miss u but he did not reply back this time. Its just he does not want me to think otherwise after seeing the msg.

So I told him if there is really nothing between the both of u and since there is nothing to hide, the more u should not delete them.

I trust my hubby. But everyday i still will try to see is any more flirting msg from her cos i DON TRUST HER.

I don understand why are there many ppl who like to play tis kinda game. 难道她们的目的是想把她们的快乐建立在我们的痛苦上。
 
Pmiyakie,

This must've caused u much unease. It can be an opportunity to iron matters out with him. Perhaps a heart-to-heart talk with him about his unhappiness or unfulfilment in this relationship. Then work towards addressing any unhappiness or unmatched expectations. Candidly, i feel that he might be seeking to fill a void with his close colleague, might be emotional for now.
 

pmiyakie

New Member
Pmiyakie, I think it is normal for you to feel this way, you are not overreacting or being overly sensitive. You have every right to feel this way. Good for you that you confronted him straightaway and give him a chance to explain to you.

I agree with you that he should not have responded if he had no intentions of leading the colleague on.

As for him deleting the future messages, while he may be truthful that he did not want you to see the messages and feel bad and he may be telling the truth that he really had no intention but I think it is not a permanent solution. Can he keep deleting every time she sent him a message like this? Will you honestly be able to stop thinking about this?

Have you considered/asked your hubby why he did not just tell the woman straightaway not to send such messages in future? Unless this is his superior (which is still inappropriate!), can he just tell her politely not to send such messages to him anymore?

If he agrees to send to her, then it may give you peace of mind?

If he doesn't, have a good talk to find out why.
Wendycupcake,

It's seems there aren't any flirtatious msgs from her anymore. She still got whatapp my hb to request him to help to buy food for her and other colleagues but those msgs are like, hey or hello, u busy , etc....

As for why he did not want to directly talk to her it's becos in the first place he already in wrong to reply back the flirting msg. He did explain to me that there is nothing between them and he is not the only one to receive those msg from her.

I did tell my hb if one day she come back and ask u why u nvr miss me , pls reply her and tell her the truth. Tell her becos she is not his wife. I don't care she is offended or not, I just want to put a stop on all these.

I keep my finger cross.
 

Capriqueen

New Member
This happened to me many years ago and it has caused alot distress to our relationship. It looks like this is getting common at workplace and people don't see how it can impact the relationship of a couple.
I confronted the co-worker to which her response was " this is common", " "everybody has different way of communication"
She herself is married with a grown up daughter. Just don't understand how can a woman be so shameless to do such thing at the expense of causing hurt to others' family
 

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