Doesn't crave physical intimacy, is it normal? (Guy here)

[lostmypurpose]

Hi all, first of all I'm a guy. Would like to find out as well as get female's opinion on an issue.

I'm married with kids and would say family life is quite the usual routine, worrying about kids all the time, and work is stressful as well. I'm in my 40s, and do not crave for physical intimacy. This upsets my wife and makes her feel like I do not love her anymore.

Would like to find out from ppl here: is this normal with ppl around this age? How often is your frequency? Any advice?

 

[ZenZen2]

how can this be normal? its usually the other way round. guys crave but moms too tired n no mood

 

[lostmypurpose]

Hmm are guys still so physical in their 40s?

 

[Cindy Tay]

First of all, what kind of physical intimacy are you referring to? Hugging, kissing, holding hands can be consider as physical intimacy as well. Do you mean that you no longer even want/like to hold hands, hug or even kiss with your wife? Then for sure this is something wrong...

Secondly, if you are referring to sex, maybe you can think of why you don't crave for it. Or maybe even see a doctor about it. Is it too stressful? Or lost of excitement? Or don't find your wife attractive anymore?

Thirdly, not really 40s guy will lost sex craving. If not there will not be many uncle (50s and above) go geylang already My hubby is mid 40s also, but we also try to have sex weekly. I feel this is one of the way to bring us closer, and also to maintain it.

 

[lostmypurpose]

Thanks for your reply. So seems like issue is with me then

 

[iprettymommy]

Hi all, first of all I'm a guy. Would like to find out as well as get female's opinion on an issue.

I'm married with kids and would say family life is quite the usual routine, worrying about kids all the time, and work is stressful as well. I'm in my 40s, and do not crave for physical intimacy. This upsets my wife and makes her feel like I do not love her anymore.

Would like to find out from ppl here: is this normal with ppl around this age? How often is your frequency? Any advice?

Stress (especially mental stress) level will reduce desire for physical intimacy. The stress from worrying about kids means you're a responsible father, the stress from work means you are responsible for your job (and family) - those stress work together to bring down the desire very effectively. I guess it is also because your age kicks in too - 40 is the time we are developing presbyopia, whitening hair or hair lost. other than the external symptoms we can see, there are something we only can feel - desire is one item on the long list.

there are difference means to cope: talk with your wife frankly, find some other ways to express love to each other; exercise to keep your energy high...

 

[supermomma]

Hi, with a busy schedule of work and stressful life, it is natural to be tired and not to crave any physical intimacy with our partner. But, physical intimacy doesn't mean sex alone! I would recommend you to show your affection to your partner more often through small kinds of intimacy such as a hug, holding hands, etc, as they are very essential in maintaining the bond of relation. If you still don't feel any initiative for physical intimacy, communicate it openly with your partner and try approaching a couple's therapist.

 

[axioms]

No bro is not normal. Unless your whole life you were like that.

 

[justanoob]

I would think it is best to let your wife know the reason why you don't crave for physical intimacy. If you have no idea why you don't crave for it, just tell her that too. So that she is able to understand you.
If not, thousand of thoughts will go inside her mind with the most common one that you are "eating outside".

 

[lostmypurpose]

Ya indeed I have no idea too. But thanks all, was more wanting to know if this is normal among couples, guess it's not...

 

[hazello]

I think it's pretty normal after 40s

 

[The_Sunday_Studio]

Hi
Happy CNY!
I think can have a good chat with wife ba.
Since kids and all also have le. Maybe you tot that u have it all le.
As long as u can prove that the love/ kinship still there.
All is good.