Divorce Matters Advice

[andrea1985]

Dear all

Im in marriage of 11yrs. I had 2 boys aged 9yo and 7yo. 2.5yrs ago my hb and I had a quarrel and I feel like having a divorce as he hit me till my arm blue black. But I choose to forgive him because of my boys. And no ppl know this incident. Recent this one year, he had been trying to find fault with me. I just wan to know if I were to file for a divorce and I had decided to give up my children custody is it easier? I think for raising up the children he might win as I had not been working for 6 years. Is there a way for peaceful divorce?

I dont think I can stand him any further.

Any similar case over here?

 

[JL8118]

Well, usually children will go to the mother, unless mother wants to give up, and father want the custody. Or mother unable to take care of children.

Just curious. Cause of this issue (not working for 6 days and you think may not win the custody) hence you want to give up children custody? Or there's other issue behind?

 

[andrea1985]

Well, usually children will go to the mother, unless mother wants to give up, and father want the custody. Or mother unable to take care of children.

Just curious. Cause of this issue (not working for 6 days and you think may not win the custody) hence you want to give up children custody? Or there's other issue behind?

Hi JL8118

I had not been working for 6yrs cos looking after them. If custody is awarded to me i dont think i have the ability to support them. I had fear staying with my hb. He ever said this past few months: y guys cant hit ladies? Now the world is equal.

I more of want a peaceful divorce.

 

[be-brave]

@andrea1985 u can claim child support from ur husband, u don't have to bear the whole financial burden.

just a thought, would ur husband hit the kids?

 

[andrea1985]

@andrea1985 u can claim child support from ur husband, u don't have to bear the whole financial burden.

just a thought, would ur husband hit the kids?

The problem is i no have any savings also. He hit them also. Kids v scared of him.

 

[be-brave]

The problem is i no have any savings also. He hit them also. Kids v scared of him.

then u can't leave the kids with him.

if kids naughty, hit on palm, ok. but if is abusive hitting, then u can't leave the kids with him.

don't stress over money, there should be a way out.

i don't think giving up custody is the only way to peaceful divorce. if he disagree to divorce, it doesn't matter if u give up custody.

but maybe u don't need to end up divorce...see if u can talk things out?

 

[andrea1985]

then u can't leave the kids with him.

if kids naughty, hit on palm, ok. but if is abusive hitting, then u can't leave the kids with him.

don't stress over money, there should be a way out.

i don't think giving up custody is the only way to peaceful divorce. if he disagree to divorce, it doesn't matter if u give up custody.

but maybe u don't need to end up divorce...see if u can talk things out?

Actually before marriage my mil already warn me his temper is v hot. Ask me to think twice. i have fear staying with him and he small small thing want to find fault/quarrel with me. Dun know is it man's ergo

 

[lostmypurpose]

Yeah don't give up on your children if your concerns are just financial. He will need to pay for their upbringing and im sure you should be able to find something. It won't be easy, but as long as you love your kids you will pull through.

 

[DonLee]

Like what be-brave mentioned, you can claim custody for the child. If he even hit kids, then all the more you should not let him have the kids. The kids will suffer. Unless you sure don't want kids already, and no matter what happen to them, you also don't care. Then go ahead

 

[JL8118]

All the more you shouldn't give custody to your husband.
File for PPO for yourself and your child for a start.
If you have made up your mind, then file for divorce
If you think you want to give up the custody, and doesn't want to 'care' for the kids anymore, then give up on everything...

 

[Cindy Tay]

Dear all

Im in marriage of 11yrs. I had 2 boys aged 9yo and 7yo. 2.5yrs ago my hb and I had a quarrel and I feel like having a divorce as he hit me till my arm blue black. But I choose to forgive him because of my boys. And no ppl know this incident. Recent this one year, he had been trying to find fault with me. I just wan to know if I were to file for a divorce and I had decided to give up my children custody is it easier? I think for raising up the children he might win as I had not been working for 6 years. Is there a way for peaceful divorce?

I dont think I can stand him any further.

Any similar case over here?

Not really. Usually kids will go to the mother unless mother don't want or unable to raise them.
Like JL8118 suggested, file for PPO to protect against the abusive of your hubby for yourself and your kids
Thereafter think over it carefully, if you want to continue this marriage or divorce
If divorce, do you want to have the kids or not..

 

[Eppy]

Please do not give up children just because you don’t have money. Money can transferred but your love for children cannot be transferred.

There will be no peaceful way because from the onstart your husband is abusive. If he can kick up a fuss over small issues, he will definitely kick up a fuss on ANY issues. Be it you take or dont take the children, he will blow up. Be it you stay or leave, he will still blow up anyway cuz he is the ONE

1) File PPO for yourself with proof of abuse.
2) File PPO for your children with proof of abuse.
3) File Divorce and Interim Child Maintainance concurrently.