confinement lady or not?

[fishieinabauble]

dear mummies, I am new here, badly need advice on the following

My edd is 27feb 2016. I wanted to enagage CL for my confinemement but there are multiple views of engaging one in my family.

My hubby n mil feel that having a stranger at home is uncomfortable, and besides the xtra cost aside, they feel that the money can be well spent on nutritious food on me or baby stuff.

My concern is how well can we cope during my 1st month, given that i have both parents in law n my hubby ard, all of us has no experiece with newborns, my mil had experience like mayb a decade back? So i am trying to justify the need. As i am worried my mil will be too tired coping house work and taking care of baby if m tired. Hubby can help but i am jus worried how well he can do it. Am i being too paranoid? Given that i hv 3 pairs of xtra hands at home?

In such a situation, i do not want to make my parents in law feel that i am lazy or what not. Jus have this very insecure feeling that if i feel stressful i wun have breast milk for my baby.

However i have my worries of getting a CL, as it might turn out a disaster as some mummies posted.

Therefore, I would like to have mummies have their take if u were in my situation, should i insist on my own thinking or listen to others...

 

[pixie ng]

i having twins, EDD 19 March 2016 but will not consider CL. reason is i do not like to have stranger in my house. then again, i'm not those traditional type so will not be following those chinese confinement. currently all housework is done by my partner, my cleaner will come on sunday only.

so after give birth, housework still remain the same, my partner's responsibility. i thinking asking the cleaner to come every wed & sun. as for food, my grandma & mum will ask their maid to cook and deliver to my house (my hse is only 10mins away). for first month, my partner will be taking leave and stay at home to look after us. my mum also insists that she wants to come over my hse and stay every now and then to help me. but i REALLY do not want because i dun like too many people bothering me.

is really depending on what you really need. before my partner stay with me, i stay alone with my 2 dogs for several years hence i'm quite very independent. although i feel that i do not need that much extra hands, people keep telling me i confirm need that many hands.. oh well, see how it goes...

 

[Rinoa_bunnies]

actually what is the job of confinement lady?
My husband told me we need a maid as we are having pets and kids at home that need to be taken care of..
So we will be getting a maid 1-2 months before baby arrived..
So not sure if we still need a CL..

 

[ladylenn]

Hi,
I think ultimately to hire a CL also depends on if you like strangers in your house. My husband is also very against having a stranger staying in our house.

I can share that based on my sister's experience, she had her mil help during the confinement without hiring a CL. Her mil also had no experience in doing confinement, cooking confinement food and honestly, in the end my sister did not really have confinement food. That said, she appreciated her mil's help especially in doing chores and helping her look after the baby during the day time. For chores, I don't think it's an issue- get a part time cleaner in.

It is more of getting help to take care of the baby (especially if you have to take care of the baby at night and there is not much help during day time) and having confinement food (if you are particular). I can imagine just cooking 3 meals of confinement food takes up much of the daily time.
Hope this helps

 

[pixie ng]

actually what is the job of confinement lady?
My husband told me we need a maid as we are having pets and kids at home that need to be taken care of..
So we will be getting a maid 1-2 months before baby arrived..
So not sure if we still need a CL..

CL is to take care of you and your babies lo.. cook for you, help you feed the babies, play with babies & put them to sleep. also give you advice on the traditional confinement methods.

 

[Talbjas]

Hi All,

I'm a first time mum too.. Edd 25 Feb 2016. I'm also in a dilemma as to whether to hire a confinement lady. My hubs is an Arab so hiring CL is something alien to him, likewise, we do not like stranger staying at our house. Plus the many horror stories that I've read on the forum & firsthand encounter frm friends.. Initially, i was thinking of handling baby on my own, with my hubs taking 3wks leave or working from home. As for confinement food, I will cater from the natal kitchen.. However, my gynae has mentioned that my placenta appears to be on the low side & I might need to do a c-sect.. I've heard frm my friends that c-sect takes a longer time to heal so I m contemplating to get a part-time CL during the day, so that I can get more rest. Unfortunately, given my EDD is quite near to CNY, I don't know if I can even secure one..

 

[fishieinabauble]

Hi talbjas, i would advice you to get a CL, bcos after c - sect u cannot move ard much, will affect your wound, which means everything else will leave to your hubbby to do. Consider a part time cleaner, ordering food sounds feasible, so ur hubby will be focused of taking care of you and baby. I guess ur hubby have to be mentally prepared of the tiredness if he is goin to face for the 3 weeks if he insist not getting a CL.

You can try PEM agency, i called them and the rates seem reasonable.

 

[fishieinabauble]

Hi all mummies, thanks for all your sound advice. I guess i will not engage a CL .

Btw, does mummies here know that during breastfeeding we cannot eat confinement food that consist of ginger? And food cooked with wine. Its ironic cos we need to breast feed and heal our body at the same time, but baby might not like the taste of breastmilk.

 

[pixie ng]

ya, my grandma told me that... myth is if you eat ginger and breastfeed, your baby will get jaundiced...
food cooked with wine is ok, because alcohol will evaporate upon cooking.

anyway there are alot of other foods that able "heal" your body beside ginger & wine...

p.s: i'm not traditional type, more towards ang mo pattern

 

[pixie ng]

Hi All,

I'm a first time mum too.. Edd 25 Feb 2016. I'm also in a dilemma as to whether to hire a confinement lady. My hubs is an Arab so hiring CL is something alien to him, likewise, we do not like stranger staying at our house. Plus the many horror stories that I've read on the forum & firsthand encounter frm friends.. Initially, i was thinking of handling baby on my own, with my hubs taking 3wks leave or working from home. As for confinement food, I will cater from the natal kitchen.. However, my gynae has mentioned that my placenta appears to be on the low side & I might need to do a c-sect.. I've heard frm my friends that c-sect takes a longer time to heal so I m contemplating to get a part-time CL during the day, so that I can get more rest. Unfortunately, given my EDD is quite near to CNY, I don't know if I can even secure one..

i think is depending on your husband... like most of the singaporean men are quite spolit. they never or seldom do any housework, most of the times their mum, maid or wife will take care of them. to some, they think that they have work the whole day so they come back home is just to relax. they didn't think that even we dun work outside, we "work" the entire day at home *shrug* maybe Arab man is different?

for mine, he does all the housework (i dun do any). and he is willing to "work" at home even after his work. so i feel quite safe and reassure with him. bottomline how hardworking is your husband? if you think he cannot take the stress, is best to hire daytime CL even it is costly

 

[MummyAiko]

When I had my first child I did not engage a CL. But I was so panicky the first few days that I tried desperately to get one last minute. After the initial fear, I guess it was okay as my mum was around to help. Babies sleep most of the time anyway, just that we spend much time resting and pumping milk.

So I guess for this second one I will also do without a CL. But I am considering catering food for confinement as I did not really do a proper confinement previously and I feel like my health isn't as good. So at least with my meals covered one less thing to worry about.

 

[fishieinabauble]

MummyAiko, m glad you overcame your fear!

M curious you mention u didnt have a good confinement . Is it because of insufficient nutrients frm healthy food or insufficient rest? So confinement food is really important like food with ginger and wine?

 

[MummyAiko]

MummyAiko, m glad you overcame your fear!

M curious you mention u didnt have a good confinement . Is it because of insufficient nutrients frm healthy food or insufficient rest? So confinement food is really important like food with ginger and wine?

Basically I just ate normal and do my usual stuff.. Thinking it was okay. But I do feel faint when I went out for awhile. So I think need to nourish the body and have a good rest... The first few days was so worried I didn't dare sleep and just sat down looking at baby.

 

[Rinoa_bunnies]

May I know for the amount paid to CL does it include the confinement meal ingredient?

 

[pixie ng]

May I know for the amount paid to CL does it include the confinement meal ingredient?

nope

 

[valkyrie-99]

I didnt record all the expenses during my conefinement. But a rough figure would be about $3k for CL including basic, angbao, levy and foods. Plus, 1.3k for my confinement foods and drinks (including dinner for my hubby)

My hubby, CL and i share the same foods.

 

[Rinoa_bunnies]

I didnt record all the expenses during my conefinement. But a rough figure would be about $3k for CL including basic, angbao, levy and foods. Plus, 1.3k for my confinement foods and drinks (including dinner for my hubby)

My hubby, CL and i share the same foods.

So total around 4.3k?
As husband want to get a maid to help out for housework, baby and pets.. Food might go for catering as only 2 of us.. So if I can a CL just purely taking care of me and baby, it's a little costly for 2k+.. Can CL only come for 2wks? If don't need to cook and do housework, will the price lower?