Childless Not By Choice Group

rostrum, u know it's so unlike me be in slow motion coz i am those very "chu lu" girls. kekeke, now have to be more lady like.
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Babygalore, impt is to have an experience gynea so that we know we are in good hands.
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Do you stay at home during weekends or you would still go out for meals? Do take care and rest more especially u are back to work. I realised body can be quite tired especially when we working.
 


Gan

Sorry to hear about your ordeal but glad that things are looking positive now. Rest well and take care. This journey is really not easy but you must continue to press on and stay strong.

Thanks BabyG for the tips. You take care as well.

I have been MIA recently as I try to get over the bfn. Failing an IVF really deflates one's confidence but I need to press on for the sake of holding my child one day.
 
Miraclebaby, happy to see you here.
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Can understand the stress on this TTC path. It is not easy but Hang on there sister, BFP is coming!
 
girls, the bleeding came back again last nite....when i pee, saw some fresh blood in toilet bowl and later panty liner. =( but this morning ok. The blood in toilet bowl has a small round blood clot...not sure is that one of the miscarried embbies. I am going to lie in bed as much as possible today.
Trying to keep my tears and be positive but this is really tough.
Sorry that i bring out such news here.....
 
Gan

No need to apologise...we also have heart ache when we read your posting. Crying is a form of release. So if it makes you feel better, no need to hold back the tears. Should u go back to A&E? Maybe need another jab?
 
miraclebaby, honestly i dun like kk 24 hrs clinic coz i felt the docs are not compassionate. I went there 3 times and the last 2 times, the doc on duty gave me answers like we can't say whether the pregnancy is ok until u see heartbeat on ur 6 week scan, or u know ivf success is only 40%, there's nothimg we can confirm now. Such answers in fact doesn't give me any assurance and at same time, they dun tell me what cld be wrong. I asked for jab, hearing i had 1 already the day before, the doc told me if i want can give but it wld not help. They maybe being truthful but when a patient is crying badly coz she sees blood, such answers doesn't settle her heart but make me even more worried

I am observing myself now... If really see more fresh blood rather than spotting will email dr loh and get myself hospitalised. Dr loh gave me proluton jab on thurs.
 
BabyG, u can open a IVF consulting firm for us, haha... Really appreciate ur valuable info. I ask Dr Zou ytdy, whether i'm yin or yang, she i'm xu. My DH laugh, he ask y i ask stupid q, i;m female of cos yin then i'm like ???. Anyway Dr Zou ask me to relax n eat as per normal, maybe more fish n protein rich fd.

I finish my microgynon on Wed, so today is my D3 aft i finish my med. My menses nt here, is there anything wrong? should I call KK n ask or wat should i do?

Gan, u take care, if u feel something is nt right, dun hesitate to go dw the clinic n get the neccessary support. In the meantime hv more rest, u will be fine.

My heart is like so aching... Starting of the procedure, we worried whether our eggs enough, gd quality or nt, linning ok or nt. Aft ET, we worried abt implantation. Aft BFP, we worried abt the development, haiz... is rather a straining process bef we can c our precious in our arms.
 
miraclebaby but i am feeling better now, this morning i sms an old friend and asked her pray for my bb. She called me im,ediately and was very happy to hear i have conceived. I cried the moment i heard her voice and told her my fears. She prayed a prayer for me and asked God to continue to let the life in me grow. I felt more settled after her prayers.

I still remember her sms when i failed my fresh cycles that God will not give stones to His children when they asked for fish. I have not gone to church for like 20yrs but somehow her prayer this morning calm me.
 
I agree with ur friend. God has sent his Beloved son to die for our sins and hence we all our precious to him. God will nt forsake us in any situation and only God can do the impossible. Yes, jus pray n i'm sure ur little one is being protected by Lord.
 
BabyG,
I hv checked wif Dr Zou wat is my xu1? And she says I m kidney (Sheng4) Yang deficiency...means my kidney not much hormones in layman terms.
She says I hv improved since Jan I visited her and I hope this is true....
Looking into the list tt u hv tabulated, loks like everything must be warm for me...even food, keeping myself warm...I m glad tt I dun swim...
Thanks for advising me to ask Dr Zou...now I noe my body better and better
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BabyG,
Hv read thru yr spreadsheet on Yin and Yang deficiency...tt means for Kidney Yang Deficiency can try to take more meat? and also warm food? Tt means can take chilli also? Of cos take it moderately for everything la...
 
Gan,
Hope u feeling better now...please dun logon so often le unless is from hp ya....meanwhile rest well...everything will be fine
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hi ladies

my BT came back with a reading of 30plus. considered low.. so got to repeat BT on wed.
and i see very slight spotting..
haiz...
 
meow conitinue to take care and talk to the embbies and ask them to grow. My bt on d14 also low at 80 plus..then 3 days later shoot up to 380.
Babydusts to you!
 
hi gan

thanks for the encouragement. i will talk to my embies..i also hope the reading will go up by wed.

d14 reading @ 80 is still considered low? i tot anything above 50 is good enuff.

u take too ok..
 
meow, coz i was greedy... Looking at triple digit figures, thinking of twins. =) The readings will multiply, dun worry ok. I also keep talking to my embbies.
 
gan

i really hope the numbers will multiply by Wed.. haiz.. 2 more agonizing days before Wed..

r u on bedrest now?
 
meow, dun worry. Yes, lying on bed as much as i can. Today seems better, so i felt more relieved. U must take care, especially when u go back to work. Thinking back, i was careless like climbing stairs 2 at a time, walk fast when i walk down stairs or office.
So for next 3 mths do everything slowly.
 
meow, spotting can cook glutinous rice with 5 slices of lotus roots like what Elle tot me. Ask ur mummy help u cook ok. Cook like porridge, i have been eating that yesterday and today.
And if necessary go to 24 hrs clinic ask for progesterone jab.
 
i'm takin my own leave till end of this wk. also good cos nvr expected i got to redo my bloodtest again on Wed... so the next hurdle for me is Wed..

yah.. u need to slow down wor!! walk slowly and be carefull dun trip.. wear anti slip shoes when back to work too k.
 
gan

i'm not spotting yet.. but just see brown discharge when i wipe off.. hmm.. will that justify my reqst for progesterone jab?

btw.. if u go 24 hr clinic.. the doc will decide if u can get the jab right. not necessary that he will give?
 
meow my first visit to 24 hrs was also brownish discharge...i.e. When i wipe or slight stains on my panty liner. The doc did give me a jab when i asked for it.

Except the 3rd time i went with bleeding, the doc didn't give me but said if i want can give. So insist on it.
 
progesterone oil based jabs at 24hrs...painful! But when hospitalised proluton, apparently stronger than progesterone. Will get another proluton jab this fri when i see dr loh.
 
Orrr progesterone jabs. Those i jab daily der ar. I c.

Thanks for the info. I emailed dr sadh but she nvr reply.
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Rostrum

Tdy is d17 BT ler. Hmm low levels n got slight spottng. Went to 24hr clinic but dr said no pt jab wor.

I'm more or less prepared for the worse ler.
 
meow i learnt that the docs at 24 hrs clinic go thru motion and as long as we haven't scan and see heartbeat, they will paint a not positive pic. So ignore whatever they say that affects u ok? the last 2 times i went, they also paint some not very positive pic. That's why i dun like to go there but for sake of bb, I go to get whatever support i think necessary.

Dun give up, u have 1 more bt tomorrow. As long as the hcg doubles up, the bb is growing
 
Hi Gan
thanks for your positive words. I think 24hr clinic drs dun understand the emotional rollercoaster we ivfers go thru. He didn't even empathize w how we were feeling last evening.

I'm eating the glutinous rice n lotus root now in hope the brown discharge will stop. Wahh so hard to
find lotus root wor. Went ntuc dun hve,
got to go wet mkt then have.

How r u feeling tdy? U back to work already?
 
meow, i am ok, still have some on off brownish discharge, like after i poo or walk for meals. So trying to lie on bed.
Waiting for scan this Friday to see bb heartbeat. These 2 weeks have been the toughest i been thru, dunno shed how much tears le. But I still talk to the bb and ask bb to be strong and grow.
Will be on hospitalisation leave till fri, after see dr loh then see if need to extend.
You rest more, lie on bed, dun walk so much. I realised the discharge comes becoz of movement,
 
Gan
i understand what u meant by saying the 2 wks had been tough. All the best for ur scan. I wonder if I'll ever see my own bb's heartbeat. I've been on off crying since yday too.
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sometimes I tot I'm ok but then it will just take a small trigger n I will start crying again.
 
meow, *hugz* just continue to talk and ask ur bb jia you. That day i was crying very badly in my ward when i was hospitalised, the nurse held my hand and comforted me and telling me i have to be strong so that the baby will be strong coz our mood will affect the bb.
Ur bb will be jan bb, so tell bb jia you, grow healthy and u will see him/her in jan next yr. I have been telling my bb that
 
Gan and Meow,
be strong ok. Baby/ies are already in you both so mommy must be strong. I know it's not easy but we have to be strong for them. Like recently i also worried sick cos i din feel much movement, sometimes only 1-2 movements per day. My next appt is next week. I hope everything is ok. talk to bb, it really helps. each time i tell her i'm very worry cos she din move, then she will kick me softly. hahaha
 
meow, I c....Dun worry..sometimes implantation late will affect the HCG level too...as long as it
doubles up tomorrow, its fine...bt u must really take care..dun move ard too much...

Gan, I tink the past 2 weeks for you is worst than 2ww right? Can understand hw it feels...
Bt u really got to be strong...I am touched when u post tt the nurse held yr hand and ask
u to be strong when u are warded...so sweet of her...
Yes, +ve mindset is really impt! Jia you!

Elle, yr baby can hear u!!!! She respond softly so tt u dun worry abt her...This is cal telephathy huh....
Hw amazing it is!
 
Gan and meow... hugz.. its really so tough to go thru ivf and then the 2ww. Meow, i dun know wat to say to make u feel better but i still have to say be strong and stay positive..

Gals i know its so tough for us to get pregnant and also the following 9 mths is full of uncertainties but have to be strong for ur little ones... jia you
 
Hi elle n lyn

thanks for the encouraging words. I'm coming to terms with the disappointment. Tmr's BT will confirm the results n can be a closure for me.

DH n I have already decided not to go thru another round of fresh cycle. I still have frozen but then probably won't try again this yr. The emotional rollercoaster is alot to handle.

Lyn, I can feel tht u r a happier person now. Read some of your earlier posts abt being happy without kids or trying naturally. I think this will be the path for me too. It's time for me to move on already. That was my mentality before I started on this cycle.

I'm on n off not ok. But I think it'll take some time for me to be the usual me. I dunno how long it'll take but I know I will pull through ok. I believe all the ladies who went thru Ivf are very strong people. And I am glad I found emotional support in this forum. Jia you everyone!
 
Hi meow, i know how u feel now. Although i hope that ur BT 2molo will be a good one but its good to be prepared for the worst. Juz like my failed cycle my instinct somehow tells me that the embies didnt implant but i still did the blood test for the final closure.

Ivf is not abt painful injections or messy inserts but its 99 percent emotional involved. Every stage is emotional draining. Its good that u and DH have a good talk and also decided to stop for awhile and move on. Dun try again when u r emotionally not ready, its juz too taxing.

Meow, i remembered abt complaining to babyg on how hurt and sad i m when recently a frd who had tried for 8mths suddenly sms to say she is pregnant i remembered her saying that some point in time i shld be able to set myself free... After hearing this that time i was thinking to myself how to set myself free when i m still struggling with infertility? But now that i have gone thru failed cycle and alot of emotional ups and downs it somehow made me acknowledge those words of setting myself free... its mean i have to learn to let go which only i can help myself. I m trying to take everything step by step now and i feel happier.

Meow, yes u have tried ur best u shld be proud of urself no matter wats the outcome.. tell urself with or without kids life still goes on and our loving DH will still be with us to walk 2gether and thats most important and there is another plus point ...more holidays and more designer bags!! Heehee...


Cheer up and goodluck for ur BT..
 
My bloodtest tdy is 80plus. But I'm bleeding ler. Not good indication leh. So nurse said fri redo BT again n see dr sadh wor. But tdy also nvr give injection.
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so now how. I'll jus wait for Friday again?? Haiz
 
meow, the hcg is going up. Did u tell nurse u r bleeding? Go 24hrs insist a progesterone jab...if not go to a private gynae for the jab.
Must take care
 
Meow, how come they never give any injection? Do you insist on one?
do you think going to private will give you better support? I really dun like their treatment, it's like taking a risk.
 
Can I jus go to any private gynae n reqst for the jab?
I called n called KKH. No chance to talk to dr n nurse not helpful. Like bar me frm speaking to dr. They think it's an ectopic preg.
 
I think you should be able to have the jab at any private gynae. From my knowledge, if ectopic pregnancy then ur hcg won't double up or at least 66% increase in 48 hours. So wat makes them conclude it's an ectopic?
 
meow, elle is correct, from what i read etopic, the hcg won't double up and u have no sharp pain at ur side right. The private gynae can give u jab. Tell them u r pregnant and has some bleeding now.
 
Hi elle.

Thanks for the info any ectopic preg. All the time I'm speaking only to the nurses. That is the frustrating part. I'm barred frm speaking to my dr liddat. Hate that feeling of being abandoned by ur dr. Hubby very angry w KKH now. We r going to private gynae now to c wat can be done.
 
Meow, no prob at all as I have ectopic before so more or less I know how is ectopic like.
I understand how it feels being abandoned by dr. Please get the necessary support. I really hope everything will be fine.
 


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