**CALLING all Nov 2006/ Jan 2010 mummies!!

Steph,



I have an aunt who is very good term with the DIL. I had asked her how did she do that... She told me she don't believe in generation gap. What she believe between the relationship is respect and trust.

She always make sure she ask whenever she takes/throw/eat anything at her son's house. This is always overlook by the senior and elderly, as they always think that "this is my son's hse, why can't I take/eat anything freely". but they forgotten this is called "manners". Everyone should behave with good manners no matter who you are. We brought the child up with manners yet we behave with no manners when we are old... what will the younger generation see on us?



Trust has to be developed and earned. My aunt told me I am angry at my MIL on eating my bird's nest (actually this is a very minor issue) is because I trust her that she won't eat without my consent. But she betrayed your trust not only once but many times... my dislike of her have been developed through the yrs.

It's very difficult for her to earn back my trust now, so she advice me to avoid any conflicts with her by doing it infront of my hubby. If my hubby is still at work, wait for him to come back.



So I believe, if we keep an open mind, we can be sure we'r not the same as our MIL.

 


So i tink it's best nt to stay with MIL. I always think that even however close u r, conflicts will sure arise after a period of time. Nxt time i also wldn't want to stay with my son [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Serene, actually I quite envy those MIL and DIL who have good relationship. Maybe becos my mum passed away too soon...always wanted a motherly figure take after.



You are right, as long as we keep an open mind, learning to forgive and forget, that's when we can be happy [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] JIA YOU

 
Winnie,



But what if the FIL passed away, we sill have to take care of the MIL and take her in too.

My hubby asked me this question before, I just tell him whn that day comes, we'll discuss.



Initially, my hubby wants to move to stay with his mum, so that he can sell off our hse and also to lighten his financial on having to pay 2 hse electricity bills.

I refused and we have a quarrelled.

he promised me, we'll move out within a year, but what if we don't? I cannot risk it.

 
Steph,



My mum passed away too... she passed away since I was about 2 yrs old (a few weeks before my B'day).

When I was young, I longed to have a mother, but after my dad remarried, I no longer hope to have one after my bad encountered with my step-mother.

 
Serene, u r strong and cont'd be strong! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

my hubby is the only and eldest son, I'm was pre-empted to stay with MIL if anything happened to FIL.

 
Serene & Steph,

I have 3 kids only: 4, 2.5 years old & 2 months



My MIL is not a lazy person. She is just at my place during day time. She is staying with her daughter. It is because of my eldest daughter starts childcare & we avoid going to 2 places (Childcare & sending 2nd girl and maid to SIL place) that we asked her to come over during day time. While at my SIL place, she can go NTUC buy grocery, cook for SIL boy & also well prepared dinner for her daughter. The manner that make me most angry is she didn't even cooked for my 2nd girl in the afternoon while she came over. She all depends on my maid to think and cook and yet the maid is not a good cook. My maid asked her what to cook, she will just reply "I dont' know". Even my maid is angry with her attitude (not loving my 2nd girl). Now then I have a boy (2 month old), she is saying that she will move to my place after I start work. I am very hesitate about it but I have not much choice. If not, we have to send 1st girl to childcare and then 2nd girl, baby and maid to my SIL's place before and after work. Thus, I am thinking of being SAHM.

 
Steph,

Thanks for the encourgement! A child without mother will has a messy childhood.

I've 3 brothers and am the youngest... after my mum passed away, nobody taking care of us. From there, I learnt to cook instant noodle at 3 yrs old & learnt to do houseworks by 5 yrs old.

When I am 5+ yrs old, my dad remarried. My step-mother (SM) treated us well at first, then later she started to order us to do houseworks and she went to sleep. She'll caned my brothers when she was not happy... she very seldom caned me, cos my dad dote on me the most. my SM has a daughter of her previous marriage, so most of the good things her daughter will has it.

Of course, now I understand why she's bias... it's mother love to her daughter...

My dad divorced her since I was in Sec 2... reasoning being she chased my eldest brother out of the house; made my dad mistaken my 2nd bro and he chased him out of the hse; my 3rd brother run away from home... till my brothers not in talking term with my dad.



However, I heard she now remarried to another man and has a boy. She cut her tie with her daughter...



SuperHappyMum,

In such case, if you hubby can financially support alone, I suggest you to be a SAHM.

Once you let your MIL to live in and take care of ya baby and children, you can't chase her out if anything happened... like my case.

 
Hi mummies,



Need an advise. Did u let ur babies take the rotavirus jab? Hw much does it cost at the pte clinics cos polyclinic doesnt have it?



Thks.

 
Serene,

I salute U being so strong since young age.

Steph,

So U stay with your MIL? I also have no choice as my hubby too is the only child, so have to tahan lor.

SHappyMum,

Now staying in singapore with 3 kids and 1 income is hard wor. I also ever thought of being a SAHM. But cant justified the expenses with only 1 income lor, so end up Im still a FTWM.

Winne,

Rotavirus is 2 doses of oral medicine by mouth not a jab, to be taken 2 or 3mths apart, anyway the 2 dose is separated the nurse will advise U when to bring baby for the 2nd dose. As for how much I have to check with hubby as my boy took that last year forgot le.

 
NO Jas, I finally moved out after my place reno is ready! alr 2 years...but in long term, my hubby says likely to move in ALL together..sigh



Agreed with you that dual income is better than one...



Winnie: I didn't opt for Rotavirus, if bb on bm, rather low risk of getting it.



SuperHappyMum: Wah..ur maid very daring to ask, mine didn't dare to breathe a word...she didn't even interact with us at home.

 
Steph,

Check with you the First Skool U say U called up to ask the after sub, still abt $600 is for per term? Or per month? Is for infant care or for Nursary playgroup?

 
Afternoon mummies,



Sigh..... My elder gal fall sick again! Almost every week sick... like that how to train her to adapt the school before I go to work??



My boss called me to come back to work next week as she cannot cope liao...



Mummies, did your kid encounter any aniexty after sent to school? Mine at first yes... took about 2 weeks then ok. But recently, her aniexty come back again! I think it must be I prolong her school time from usual 9am to 12pm TO 9am to 6pm.... But the teachers said she is happy and playing in class everytime I called... they even show me photos of her....



SIgh... now back to square one again, I have to train her again... I can't really do things if she keep clinging to me and I will be going to work soon...

 
Superhappymum,

So do they have half day for playgroup? How much is that after sub.?

Serene,

What I can advise is to improve your gal immunity, got 1 period my gal also been sick every 2-3weeks. Then I start to give her vitamin to take daily after her dinner. I can see improvement leh. I gave her the VitC from NTUC unity the bottle is a dino shape bottle only to take 1 tablet per day, I also gave the Cod liver gummy from scotts she loves it. As for separation aniexty, I didnt send my gal to childcare so I didnt face that, only when she start PCF tis year she a bit clinging when I send her to school as I took my maternity leave from last year, but once I start going back to work, my MIL or maid will send her she is ok le, guess they are like that just becoz mummy is around, so not to worry too much lah.

 
Jasmine,

I have found the slip. The correct fee is $550 (not $500) for Playgroup and $500 for Nursery - K2.

After subsidy, Playgroup is $288.50 and Nursery-K2 is $235 for working mum. Registration fee is $74.90.

 
Hi,



I just joined this forum, sort of newbie. I am a first time mum, currently a SHAM, my boy is 13month now. Can't stand being at home and decided to be a WM again but need to place my boy with someone good.



I am looking for a good infant care centre, in TPY, AMK or Sembawang area. Any good advise?

 
BDreamz,

I know there is one near by place but my friend has tried and after 1 week changed to Learning Vision in Republic Poly. Thus, I guess you won't want to try that. I personally visited Learning Vision in Republic Poly and quite like the place. You may visit them there to see for yourself.



My 2 cents of thought. Since you are SHAM now, why don't you just be it till your son is older.

No matter how good the infant care is, it is still better to have mother around.

 
I need help. Breast milk dry up. Don't know why....Can't pump out, hand squeeze till arm pain now [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
hihi Mummies, sorry to lag this thread, have been so eventful...training the new maid all over again and Caleb had his 1st 5in1 jab yesterday and was so 'manja'...cranky the whole night and I didn't have much winks.



Caleb also did his health review ytd and everything was ok except for his wobbly neck when upright. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] It seems so hard for him to keep it up even at 3mths [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Jasmine: the First Skool was $900 before sub. and after it's still $600 excluding registration and others...



Serene: I agreed that you can start giving some chewable multivits to your gal liao.



BDreamz: welcome! if u can tahan a little longer...join your boy to playgroup when he turns 18mths. I did query quite a few childcare last time and it's not cheap given that only take care of routine (like eat, poo, pee, bath, sleep). And more those which did a little more like flashcards, toys etc...add extra lor.



SuperHappyMum: Did u get engorgement? if u feel so, take cold cabbage to relieve. if u feel nothing...latch ur baby on...as long as possible and frequently(for at least 2 days to see it coming)...relax..take hot shower, take hot beverage, drink a lot of water/milk...use a breastpump to stimulate it. Ultimately, do not be concern with the quantity right now...get the momentum back first. lastly, take fenugreek...

 
I also like to share something on childcare. My elder gal is now schooling at this childcare named CR****** in a private landed property.

The peeving thing is the school is forever asking for money... excursion, extra $15, concert in the school premise also need $30. I called up and ask for transparency to the amount used and the principal would dodge it by saying it's more if they held it elsewhere.

I also heard from one of the mummies who followed their excursion (to the zoo) that it was totally disorganised, no agenda, aimlessly walk around and the snack wasn't sufficient for the children to share.

My gal kept getting mosquito bites every other week and when we questioned the principal, she said that my gal got it from her journey to sch!



I'm looking for a new place to transfer my gal too but at least let her complete her nursery 1 this year.

 
SuperHappyMum,

Thanks for the infro. I have called up too bad the woodlands circle First skool is full and they don't have Half day or Flexi hr childcare. Actually my intention is to send my gal to try out the K1 next year but too bad they don't have. And the fees I call up the general hotline, the lady says different branch charge differently?

Your milk supply drop? Your baby how many months le? Coz I only stopped pumping till now heheeee.... 14mths plus full, too tired and lazy...maybe Im old liao ba turning 4 headed tis yr sigh... To get back your supply try to using pump to stimulate like what steph suggested. I have over supply for the till my boy was 9mths at 1st the supply is super little for 1st month than 2nd month as supply stablize I got 150-200ml each time I pump 4 hourly than more as I pump regularly I have 360-380ml my highest amount I have.

Steph,

Where are U staying? My sis suggest I send my gal to church type of K1 & K2, but the church at Woodlands Mart don't seems like have leh. Why your boy U let him take 5-in-1 and not 6-in-1 jab? Coz 6-in-1 jab he will take 1 less jab.

 
Steph,

Where is that childcare U send your gal to? Is it like those international kind where a lot of Ah Moh will send their kids to?

 
Hi mummies,



How come my thread I posted this morning disappeared??



Jasmine,

I have gave my gal daily cod fish oil leh...

She also BM till 15 months but still fall sick. I thought BM kid immunity system is better than formula kid?



Jas, you wanna put ya gal to the woodlands circle church? I thought that church is a normal service church, has childcare service meh?



My supply also drop liao... too lazy to pump regularly. Not like my 1st time, very hardworking....



Bdreamz,

Welcome to join us! Where did you stay?

To send your boy to Infant care very expensive... like Steph said, why don't you try to wait till he's 18 months then send him to Childcare... it better.

 
Serene,

My sis lah, she tell me to put my gal in church type of K1 & K2. I didnt see the big church there have the childcare or nursery there lor. They only open for service which I have told her. On top of the cod fish oil, U can give the vit C which I told U, they have extra vit and for appetitizer different types. It did improve her appetite as well after giving her that. When she is ok I give on and off not daily or when she ask for it. BM is good for 1yr only but ppl always say if can give the longer the better lah... My #1 I only pump till 11mths than stopped le. Tis boy of mine dont take FM when I tried him from 10mths on only recently he accept the pediasure so I mix with mamil gold 3 with that lor.

 
Guess I will have to stick my gal at PCF since we already paid the next year reserved fees le. Anyway we have send her to I CAN READ for enrichment once a week during weekend, intend to let her attend Berries or HUA next year for her chinese. Now being parents is very stressful hor.

 
Jas,

Can I start her to eat the Vit C when she's still sick and having her medication? I also want to know does Pedisure good for kids or it's just a normal formula milk? I would like my elder gal to try it cos she's very picky on food... I scare she doesn't eat in school...

I think you stick to PCF better... and it stressful for her on changing school environment too, cos alone and got to make new friends.

That's the reason why I stay at Kinderland although the fee is too exp. My gal already used to the environment and people there...

In the past, I thought how come those parents so kia siu, sending their kids to various activities when the kids are still very young... now I know why after I have kids. If we don't act like this, our kids will not being able to catch up when they are in K1 or primary school.... Last time our generation, where got these kind of activities? Only the boring kindergarten....

 
Serene,

Yes vitamin can be taken even they are sick. U can give after dinner or food. My gal actually she use to take enfa from stage 1 to stage 3 than she start to be picky eater, my sis ask me to try that on her and she loves it till now. If Im at home she will have 3 bottles morning, before her nap in the afternoon and 1 before she turn in for the night. The lady from abbott did call me to ask how is my 2nd boy drinking, I told her he dont like the Similac which actually I tried on him on Gain IQ he also dont like, so she gave me the pediasure to let him try now my boy who is 14mths also taking that too. As long they are not over weight they can take. So the Kinderland U send her to is childcare? Yeah lor last time where got ENRICHMENT?? U know my sis friend told her they spend more than 10K per year for 2 kids enrichment can U believe it!

 
The appetizer is best to give after breakfast as they will be hungry during the day. Only Vit C can give in the night. Actually if I give Vit C I dont give the appetizer for that day, so its like alternate days.

 
I mean the pediasure milk powder sorry. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
KUDOS to Mummies who did BF more than 1 yr!! aiyo I was struggling with my EBM for my 1st one until 9mths (out to pit against MIL who claimed that she BF my hubby that long) :p thus I was squeezing every drop out of me. I hope I can do longer this time(only 3mths now)and everyday I say I want to quit! haha...but I understood that 'quality' of BM dipped after 6mths actually since nutrients are taking out from us. Our body will battle to reserve for ourselves. That's y W.H.O encourages BF/BM for at least 6 mths. actually for me, it's the savings and women's benefit I'm looking at! heehee



Jas(may i call u that? hee): I stay in Sengkang. My gal goes to CREATIVE in Lor Chuan (opp MIL's place). I rem I say 6in1 leh..then the nurse say today 5in1 first. I was like ok lor...my poor boy gonna suffer extra jab due to blur mummy :p

Church K1/K2...That's a good idea leh..and they teach moral values and tell religion beliefs. If I can convinced my hubby lor(don't like religion), i will probably send my girl.



Serene: yeah yeah,...like Jas said, fish oil...my girl takes that, her immunity has improved then after. Remember to start with original flavor cos it will be irreversible if u take the orange flavor ones(even though it taste and smell better). Now that i have more milk this time round, I also give my girl EBM.

 
Steph,

Yup can call me Jas is fine [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Wah! U sleep so late ah? I drop die by 11plus the lastest, sometime I want to watch CSI like last night than I tahan till almost 12 midnight if not I will knock out by the time both my kids sleep at 11pm. Still have to struggle to get up at 6.30am.



BF: Actually tis time round thinking to stop at around 11mths also but boy refuse FM totally leh, as my gal from start we mix alternately with FM & BM as 1st 1 milk flow come after 1 months. But my boy I got more milk supply so stick to EBM as when we gave FM he puke a lot so stay at EBM, thats why I think he refuse FM. I start adding on FM to my EBM when he is 10mths, only after CNY than he start accepting pediasure as I see him not drinking a lot and the lady from Abbott advise me if he not drinking so much and not over weight can start him on that. BTW did U continue to take the fish oil given by gynae when U still preggy? It is adviseable to continue on the fish oil and calcium well we still BF, I still taking it till now, but the fish oil I will stop after I finish tis bottle but will still continue on my calcium pills for my bone.



School: Actually is kind of hard to get in to those church kind of Nursery too as they offer 1st to their church members.

 
Afternoon mummies!



Steph,

Aiya! She is already taken orange favour liao... OOPS! My last resort is to feed her on chinese medication to "Kai Wei". I don't want my MIL keeps cooking her meal in the afternoon while other kids in school are eating food that cooked in school. My gal will feel funny on how come I eat porridge while others eat mee... And I don't want to give my MIl a chance to visit the school twice a day. I want her only visit the school when it's time to pick my gal to go home.

I have already inform the school - DO NOT let my MIL or FIL to visit my gal when it's not the time yet. And also DO NOT let them pick her from school before 5pm or 6pm(thurs), everything has to go through me first.

My reason of doing this is - they don't like my gal to go school, as I mentioned before, they said it's a "torture" to the kid. If they keep picking her out from school before it usual time, my effort and money will be wasted.



Steph, your gal willing to drink the EBM? How did you do it? mix with FM? But my supply decrease a lot and I haven't even start to top up my reserve BM after I go work... I really have no motivation leh... It is the washing and sterlising part that make me lazy...



Mummies,

Can I let my baby gal drink FM at night (so that she will sleep thru the night) and let her drink fully BM in the day? Will it have any effect on it? Cos I am going to back to work next week...

 
Serene,

You can do that. When I have my #1 I did that as I have said I don't have enough supply at 1st, so what I did is to give FM at night even if she woke up in the middle of the night I gave FM. Only day time I ask maid to gave BM. But my boy refused and my BM supply is over supply so end up my 2nd boy only go on full BM till 13mths.. I think is good to feed FM at night can last longer lor.

 
i mus reali salute u mummies for bf ur child for so long! i only manage for 3 mths n quit. partly low supply n also no determination. felt a bit guilty that i cldnt give the best to my child.

 
Jas: I also wish that i can koonz, but if i do, I will sleep thru the next expressing time and end up engorgement then the next express, the supply will dip like crazy. I didn't take anymore supplements after I finished them during confinement so I eat a lot of salmon and drink a lot of milk...maybe I should! Thanks for reminding!



Serene:My gal rejects the milk(FEBM) at first and she is very sensitive so only can give 'fresh' milk! we have to add formula but lesser scoops to cover it up.

Oh ya, I rem my MIL once said boil apple and lean meat and onion soup can improve appetite. She also added 'huai san' in it...my gal likes it too...



Winnie: don't be guilty, we just give our best to our child..be it 1 day or 1 year...you did your best and did it with love.

like u said, it's a commitment lor and strenuous to both mental and physical...I get sick very easily. Just cross my fingers how long I can tahan.

for me like i say lor, it's purely selfish reasons. like i can take junk and eat at anytime of day without worrying and getting in shape fast :p + the cost of formula is way too ex esp my hubby is out of town often, then the bills will fall on me first. @_@

I was also inspired by my gf who quitted her job for her gal did 13mths too and she was super slim lor *envy*

Sigh..i think 1 at a time, I should set my goal is 6mths first then see again...

 
Steph,

You mean say she is drinking 240ml(4 scoopes)- 2 scoopes of FM + fresh BM?



Jas,

I also stop eating the supplements since given birth... Think I should start again! THANKS!



Winnie and Steph,

Yeah, don't feel guilty although I do last time when I only managed to BM my 1st gal till 15 months only instead of 2 yrs (my target). Now I just see how far I can go... now the FM are all very good, no worry loh.

Hey, after Steph you mentioned on your friend super slim, I now understand why I still haven't slim down much - cos I not hardworking enough to pump my milk regularly! OK, for the sake of my figure, I MUST pump at least 2 times a days + latching! Hahaha....!

 
Steph,

The cod liver fish oil hor, at 1st I tried giving my boy the original kind, but after the 1st bottle finished, we continue the 2nd bottle but somehow he rejected it totally, so I took the left over which my gal refused to take de orange favour and mix half of that kind each time we feed him, if not it will be a waste if I stop on the original. Original really smells. U R right FM is super expensive especially from stage 1 & stage 2 FM. My #1 actually I did set a goal to BF her like 9mths or 10 mths, so I did it, I slow down as my gal intake lesser of my EBM. U must try to take the fish oil and calcium which is important to recover what we lost from breast feeding. And my advise to U, U can actually adjust the timing in that way that your last pumping time is like 11.30pm than next pump will be like 4am or so. Normally I did it like if 4 hrs pumping, my timing is like morning 4am, 8.30am when reach office, than 12.30-1pm, 5-6pm before knock off from work than till 11-11.30pm last pumping.

Winnie,

I think every mum who stopped pumping or BF at 3 mths usually is becoz they thought supply is low, which in fact is not true, U can get more supply as long U pump regularly and eat healthy, I also don't believe that coz at 1st 2weeks milk supply is like 20-30ml each time I pump, but it improved as I pump base on the regular timing, in the end I got 360ml highest which I was shock too.

 
Jasmine,

Thanks for your advice. I have found out the problem. It is my pump's diaphragm cracked. I went for a change. Ｎｏｗ，everything is back to normal. The quality has decreased after 3 days. Now, I have to work hard to boost it back.

 
Serene: U are so funny! my gal on friso4, so it's like 180ml + 7 scoops (small ones) now i gave 100ml BM + 80ml water + 4 scoops.



Jas:ur timing is good...I think i can adopt that timetable for my cowing.



SuperHappyMum: u using Ameda? me on Ameda and the valve is very fragile, the old polypylene diaphragm also fragile...i break so many alr. haha...JIA YOU! WO MEN YI QI JIA YOU!

 
Jas,

Aiyo!! Pump at 4am? Not enough sleep leh.. But inbetween do you give ya child to latch? If yes, then how to catch ya sleep in between? Still got milk after they latched?

I don't know I have "si yi zheng" or what, I can't recall how I did it last time for my elder gal and manage to BM her till 15 mths??! Where's all my motivation gone to???



Steph,

OIC... When my supply up, I'll try this method. Hey..you all mummies are really skillful in that. Salute!

 
Steph: I am using Medela PISA



I am still thinking of being SAHM daily. Not because I like to do that, I just very sick of depending on my MIL to supervise my maid. My MIL told my ex-maid and current maid that my hubby and me are not giving her $$. However, it is not true. My hubby did give her monthly $$. I have checked with my hubby. Confirmed he did.

MIL is not reasonable. She shouldn't tell maids about this (even if we really don't give her $). She even tells my maid the amount of Ang Pow that her 3 kids gave her. Why ? Money face ? Besides, my hubby gave $80 with orange, Abalone and cookies but she told maid he only gives $20. Why ?



I don't want to depend on her anymore. Besides, her daughter is expecting now.

 


Serene,

Haha... 4am pumping... sometimes I did up before or after that timing if I wake to go pee than I will do the pumping.... sometime I do over slept and my breast pads is wet lor but that is once or twice only, as long our body listen to our timing is ok de lah, its just routine for our baby... I so happy I have just stop, really very tired... when I expecting my #2, I tell myself, oh no have to go through the day and night pumping again sigh... For my #1 I do latch her when she woke up at night during 1st month, after that really very tired and not enough milk supply I tried to pump and latch less than my milk supply increase, I find latching I got less supply somehow. So my 2nd child I do latch on day time, night time I give EBM, but only for 2 months of latching than he also refused to latch too, so from then I do pumping to stock up the EBM for him, 2nd child my supply is super high that I need freeze it in milk bags.

Steph,

Yeah is better to adjust the timing to let our body and mind have enough rest.

 
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