Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?

[1pumpkin]

Being Special http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/789053.html?1187925115
Hi kira ko & styloBB, This is the thread where cowandchick (Liana fm another thread) and I got to know each other.

<font size="-2">Are you making any plans for Sym when you grow old? There are some provisions or something, right? </font> Wish I got plans. Dont dare think of future. I wish to work so as to hv double income (got savings for rainy days) but HB said I'm the best person to stay home with Sym so in terms of financial, we're way below the ability to plan/set aside something for Sym as growing up/living fund.

 

[tamarind]

city,cowandchick,
Sad to hear about your worries. Hope that you will find suitable arrangement for your special children eventually. Perhaps in future technology will be advanced enough to enable them to be independent.

 

[stylobb]

tamarind
Don't hv to be killed by maid... I think if immobile, the maid may abuse us... sheesh.....

city/C&C
U are brave mummies... I'm reading...

 

[sleepy_bear]

Thanks for sharing, City. Wow. I really salute you and C&C and the other mummies on the thread.

I can identify with your frustration in the first year when the doctors/ nurses kept saying that the baby is normal. Happened to me too. Elder son had a really bad left head tilt and the nurses kept telling me to change nursing/feeding position. Only at 7 months, a kind GP actually referred me to the Orthopedic surgeon. Gave up on the polyclinic doctors. And, only at 10 months after a few physiotherapy sessions, did we discover that it was actually his eye makes him tilt his head. Before that, strangers - especially those very experienced aunties - kept blaming me for harming my baby with my inexperience in childcare. After his squint was diagnosed, I received comments from strangers that I probably must have done something wrong during my pregnancy! Fortunately, our families are quite understanding.

Aside from this experience, I'm otherwise very ignorant. But, I'll be happy to listen if you ever need an outlet.

 

[hippo2002]

hello mommies

my day out again today! went for a complimentary makeover this morning, follow by shopping at Takashimaya, then facial & body massage in the afternoon. Now I'm a satisfied girl

my turn to answer questionaire


1.You want to live with your kids ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">Ideally yes. I started brainwashing them to buy me a bunglow on their combined income so that all of us including their spouses & kids can live together. I chop the room on ground level so that I don't need to climb any stairs</font>


2.Will you help them take care of their babies ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">supervise ok, maid can do dirty job like cleaning poo</font>


3.Will you still wear what you are wearing now ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">probably not, my dressing now is too youthful leh, certainly don't fit a 60s grandma. how to wear spagetti strap in my 60s?</font>


4.Will you still have the same hair style ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">quite happy with my latest 'Victoria Beckham' haircut. I think should look alright for a grandma too</font>


5.Will you continue to work after 60 years old ?
My ans: <font color="119911">already retired when I was 30 years old

</font>


6.What if you are too old to walk ? You want your kids to take care of you ? Or hire a maid to take care of you ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">they will be too busy earning money to pay for the bunglow so I guess maid will suffice lor</font>


7. If you are terminally ill, would you want your life to be prolonged by the doctors ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">depends on whether I'm conscious. If in coma with no chance of recovery, I rather move on</font>


8. Final question: are you afraid of dying ?
My ans: <font color="aa00aa">I hope I die in my sleep at old age. No illness & no pain. For that, I think I need to start accumulating good kharma now</font>



by the way, why most mommies think you shouldn't be a burden to your kids?

I don't think it's a burden leh. It's their duty to take care of us at old age. It's our entitlement!
Now we feed them & provide shelter, provide education (which cost a bomb).
Next time they only feed us & provide shelter, no education (I'm going to ask for paid holiday instead). I think they've got a good bargain leh

 

[hippo2002]

this is hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvA-n89qMd8

 

[sleepy_bear]

Hippo2002, you are so funny. But, the best form of brain washing is probably to lead by example.

I hope I will not disappoint when the occasion calls. In the meantime, I am hoping our parents stay very healthy and independent for many good years more.

 

[hippo2002]

mommies

I've asked this question before but since we have new mommies joining us here, ask again

are you exercising?

cowandchick - I'm taking up your recommendation, going to enrol for line dancing with my mom. hehe, so that we can laugh at each other clumsy moves

 

[tamarind]

hippo2002,
I think you are a very optimistic mommy

I am not sure how much money my kids will earn in the future, I would be happy enough if they don't come back and ask me for money ! My own brother, even though he was the top student in school, and got a PhD in Physics from Cambridge, cannot find a job in Singapore, now working in England, barely earning enough to support his wife and only daughter. He is not giving my parents any allowance. Before he left, he even tried to ask my mother for a loan ! So you can see why I am so pessimistic.

The thing is, we never know what kind of future awaits us when our kids grow up. Will there still be so many jobs in Singapore ? So it's best to depend on ourselves lor.

I should be exercising, but still procrastinating

 

[hippo2002]

Tamarind

I started saving for our retirement although it's still a long way to go to reach my ideal target.

Meanwhile, I protest to my kids that we are so poor. Cannot buy this, cannot buy that for ourselves because we spent all our money on them. They recognise our sacrifices & not take us for granted. They simply think it's the natural thing to provide for us when we are old.

I think it's important to teach the kids to be grateful to parents. I saw how my parents worked hard to support us. They always whined about money not enough so I was taught to be thrifty since young. Now my dad retired comortably that he doesn't even need us to support but of course he prefers to collect allowance from my brother while keeping his cash in FD for a sense of security. He is my role model

If my kids are really so poor next time, we have our 5 room flat to pass to them although it's only left with 60 years lease. They will have to fence for themselve when the leases run out lor. Anyway I'm not around by then


why PHD cannot get a job in Singapore? worst case is to get degree level pay, isn't it?

 

[hippo2002]

mommies

how many percent of your household income are you saving each month?

 

[babygrace]

EXERCISE
Running after my 2.5 yr old and going on all fours to crawl with my 10 mth old is my daily exercise.
I do yoga once a week. Should do more on my own at home but the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. haha!


SAVINGS
As i'm a SAHM at the moment, we save about 15% of hubby's income each month. He gets a substantial bonus each year so that's where our savings come from where we use it to pay for our insurance and set some aside for our portfolio of investment which is generating a decent return for our retirement. So technically speaking, if i go back to work, we should be saving about 80% of my salary. But realistically, I always know, the more we earn, the more we will spend.

Speaking of going back to work, I'm at the crossroad now. Got a job offer but i'm not sure whether to accept it or remain as a SAHM. sigh....

 

[meekfreek]

Hi Mummies,

Exercise
Before bb came along, I go to the gym 6 days a week. 3 times with PT and 3 times spin class. Since dd born, zero exercise but next month will be joining Fitness First at Capital Tower n workout during lunch...any other mummies going there? If so, can meet up for classes together??? Or any mummies working in the biz district around Tanjong Pagar...can meet for lunch? Also, any mummies that work around there that knows where the shops are? Seems like there's no shops around there, cannot buy anything during lunch time. Previously I worked around Suntec so can shop during lunch.

Maling Luncheon Meat
My maid loves it (actually, I think all maids love it). She can eat a whole can a week! Hubby, kids and me will definitely not eat it. I discourage consumption of processed food including commercially made fish/meat balls, hot dogs, sausages, nuggets or anything else that gets mulched up by a machine.

Savings
Hubby and I are big consumers. We like to shop alot so we didn't start seriously saving in those years. Back then we didn't even have any insurance plans. So now that we have become more responsible, we save about 60-70% of our combined monthly salary. We have many years to make up for. According to financial experts, you should aim to save about 10% of your salary each month and if invested properly should be enough for a decent retirement...but that's supposed to begin with your very first salary!

KiraKo,
People are so judgemental sometimes. I really don't like it when there's something wrong with a baby, they always blame the mummy and say she did something bad, looked at something bad or ate something bad during pregnancy!

City,
Sym is still very young, she still has a good chance to develop some independance. You really are doing a great job with her. She is a gentle and happy girl and understands what you tell her. I'm sure she will improve under your guidance and care.

Babygrace,
Hard decision...to go back to work of be SAHM. Let us know what you decide!

Tamarind,
Gathering is a great idea! Would like to meet all you hip and happening Mummies!

 

[tamarind]

Liana,
I will definitely join if there is a gathering. Any mommy want to organize ?

hippo2002,
He does not want to lower himself to take a degree level job. Even if he wants to, it's very difficult, because most hiring managers don't like someone of higher qualifications/experience than themselves. Furthermore, he is already 41 years old. In Singapore, if you are over 40, it's very difficult to find a technical job.

For example, I am 38, degree holder, many years experience in software development. I want a job of less stress, don't mind lower pay. If I apply for the job of a receptionist, I don't think anyone would want to hire me. Because I am over qualified !

 

[hippo2002]

Liana, Babygrace

accumulating savings is what I missed most about working. When I was working, I gave my parents allowance and saved the rest so that's at least 80% of my salary. Hubby used my saving to pay for holiday, renovation, big ticket items. Since stopping work, our savings had not been moving as much as I would like although we still manage to save about 25% of his income. Certainly our lifestyle had to change in order to save that 25%


Babygrace

my ex-boss offered me a job some weeks ago. I have turned it down. I don't know when can I return to work or do I even want to return to work after all these years. I feel happier at home even though I feel so broke most of the times.
It's always a dilemma. I simply tell myself kids only have their formating years once and I would prefer 'quantity' over 'quality' hours. My line of work involves long hours hence I am quite doubtful how many 'quality' hours can I really spend with them if I return to work


Tamarind

Yeah, I know what you mean. For my case, even if I switch to an executive level job at a fraction of my old pay, I don't think I will get shorter hours. The volume is still there. And worst, it's not as interesting. So I would rather not work at a lower level.
If I return to work, I hope I can have a career switch. Perhaps be a lecturer. Although the pay is lower but probably more interesting. Not now though, I intend to wait till my kids started primary school & if I feel really idle at home

 

[meekfreek]

Hi Mummies,

I don't mind organising the gathering. I think it would have to be a Saturday (or Sunday) though...for all the working mummies out there. Maybe a potluck lunch or tea? I don't mind having it at my place if mummies don't mind squeezing into my little house at Holland V? Or other locations?

Before finalizing details, how about a date? Say Saturday / Sunday 15/16 September? Bring along kids and hubbies too!

What do you all say?

 

[zeemimi]

hi mummies

Since most of us are in our 30s and 40s, i presume our hubbies are around the same age too.

Can i ask if your hubby is starting to lose hair, i.e balding? Did you use any hair loss products? Any good / effective ones to recommend?

Botak or not, i still love my hubby! bwahahaha

 

[bpquek]

Morning mummies

2 days din log in, so many posting!!
So many funny answer to tamarind's questions..haha

ZMM
He shaved his head botak 2 weeks ago.

 

[sleepy_bear]

Hipp2002
Wow. You were really thrifty to save 80% of your salary...I worked at the central district - food cost a bomb, clothes cost a bomb and, on top of that, we took a lot of taxis (although these were mostly reimbursed by clients). I don't think I saved much at all after giving to parents and church, compared with my thrifty engineer husband who eat at his workplace canteen for less than $5 per lunch, including fruits, and wears budget jeans and polo shirts.

 

[tamarind]

Gathering
Sep 15/16 OK for me

Any other mommies want to join ?

Savings
Whenever talk about savings, I feel guilty. I only save about 10% of my salary, in insurance and endowment policies. My hubby save more, because he is not a shopaholic like me.

For kids future education, I will use the endowment policies, or take from our CPF.

ZMM,
My hubby is not losing hair, but starting to have white hair. He is 40 years old. Anyone's hubby got white hair ?

 

[singmum]

Gd morning mummies,
Didn't log on over the weekend..first let me answer the qn list from tamarind:

1.You want to live with your kids ?
My ans: dilemma... want cos scare lonely, dunno want cos scare conflict..haha

2.Will you help them take care of their babies ?
My ans: Yes is enjoyable if can see our grand children growing up stage..but need a maid

3.Will you still wear what you are wearing now ?
My ans: yes as wan to maintain youthful, haha...

4.Will you still have the same hair style ?
My ans: Probably will change hairstyle once a while perm then straighten then perm

5.Will you continue to work after 60 years old ?
My ans: I wish to retire as early as possible dunno wan to work till old age...

6.What if you are too old to walk ? You want your kids to take care of you ? Or hire a maid to take care of you ?
My ans: sigh** if that is the case probably a maid will be better

7. If you are terminally ill, would you want your life to be prolonged by the doctors ?
My ans: if total disable, i rather go to heaven.

8. Final question: are you afraid of dying ?
My ans: I'm afraid if to leave if my kids are still young and unable to earn a living yet.

------------------------------------------------
Actually i'm oso the only support in my family to look after my mum, she is bedridden and unable to speak due to stroke, is very painful to see her suffering this way at her old age, by right she should be enjoying the company of her grandchildren and lead a leisure life, but end up she has to seat on wheelchair and can't communicate. As i said if i'm total disable i'll choose to leave, but as a child i dun bear to let her go too. So is so painful for both herself and the family members.

 

[allynn]

Hi All,

I hope I can make it for the gathering cos may go into labour during that time as my elder one also arrived 2 weeks+ earlier. Just include me first lah.

 

[jastan]

exercising
I know I should exercise but didn't really get into it. I walked to and from workplace, so can consider as an exercise???

tamarind
Gathering??? Where? I can only make in on Sat 15 Sep.

hippo2002
That's really a different view point on being a burden to the children... it's an enlightenment indeed. For me, I think more on being finanical independent, I don't want to depend on kids too much. Of course, I still expect them to give me monthly allowance even I don't really need it. In event of rainy days, at least got a pool of ready $$ to fall upon.

 

[tamarind]

mouseaction,
Liana is organizing

Still haven't finalize the location yet.

singmum,
My mother went to sign the <font color="0000ff">Advanced Medical Directive</font>, a document to tell the doctor not to prolong her life if she is terminally ill. She doesn't want to burden us. She is going to make my father sign that document too. If she has not signed such a document, I will not bear to let her go too.

My father's elder brother's wife, got a stroke and was unconscious at home at age 75. The kids did not send her to hospital, just let her stay home and die ! She died after 2 weeks. She did not sign the Advanced medical directive. I was very shocked when I heard of it. I could never bring myself to do it. My mother told me that the old lady actually went to a fortune teller before, and was told that she would not live past 75 years old. The sons and daughter knew about it, so may be that's why they don't bother sending her to the hospital. But I think that's very terrible.

But I myself does not have the courage to go and sign the Advanced Medical Directive. I am scared of dying.

 

[hippo2002]

Kira

I was brought up this way, to be thrifty. Hence I believe this is the most important values I should impart to my kids too. It's not how much I earn but how much I save. I manage to save enough for my professional studies as well as overseas education despites earning peanuts during the first few years of my working life

But I wasn't so hard on myself lah. I love facial, spa & shopping. I just made sure I negotiated a good price before signing any spa package & try to shop during sales lor


White hair
hubby had some white hair since he was a kid. I thought that makes him looked more stylo leh

Gathering
aiya, my kids have 6 enrichment classes over weekends leh. Timing issue

 

[singmum]

Tamarind,
Oh dear i really can't imagine..I hope that my mum will still be glad that that at least she still hv me with her and who will never forsake her.

 

[hippo2002]

singmum

you are a fillial child. Pls share how your parents brought you up so that we can also impart all these precious values to our kids

I think people of our generation (30s & 40s) are generally very fillial. Somehow our parents were more successful than us in imparting the right values?? since we cannot even guarantee or strongly believe our own kids will support us next time...

I 'self declared' I'm fillial too

Cannot abandon my parents to migrate while they are still alive


mommies
can we all share what do you think are the important values that your parents imparted to you?

for my case, it's thrifty. Thrifty NOT equal to stingy. My dad is thrifty (don't spend unnecessarily) but he's always generous in providing nice food to us and my grandma. He taught me to differentiate between 'wants' and 'needs'

 

[singmum]

Hi Hippo,
Tks, I'm the youngest in my family so very closed to my mother. Actually i tik i'm not fillial enough as I didn't spend much times with her everyday only rely on my maid to take care of her

Since young i oso learn to be thrifty as i was not grow from rich family so every single cents was hard earn.

 

[stylobb]

Mummies
I thot u all meant gathering as in meeting one another sans kids or hbs.. like over a meal or sth...

Values
Be contented
Be honest
Work hard
Do my best

 

[tanglin]

Balding

my hubby's hairline is also reclining. tried biolyn and klorane fortifying treatment shampoo but no significant improvement. actually i don't mind but he's a bit conscious about it.

Important Values

i am very close to my mom (only daughter), but our characters are as different as night and day. i guess one of the few traits that i picked up from her is generosity to our loved ones. in fact, this is something that my hubby said he likes about me, cos his folks are very stingy both in terms of money and giving emotional support. Guessed he's also touched by how my mom has been helping us ever since my son was born.

Go Go Bambini

i've just received a 2 for 1 admission voucher for the above. it's valid till Dec 23 2007 from Mon - Thurs, 10am - 6pm. you can bring 2 kids aged 2-11 years. not applicable to me cos my son is <1 year old. any mommies interested? let me know and i can pass the voucher to you.

 

[tamarind]

singmum,
I'm sure that your mum is very happy that you never forsake her. I wish my kids are like you too

Values
Thrifty(my mother always nag but I never learn)
Kan Cheong(my mother influenced me and I am super kan cheong now but not a good value hahaha) - not sure what is the english word for kan cheong ?
Take care of elders(I learn well but my brother never)
Kindness

 

[sleepy_bear]

Jessica
Can I have the voucher, please? I checked out the website and found out that I have a direct bus going there.

 

[sleepy_bear]

Values
How do your parents impart values? Lecture? Tell stories? By example?

I don't think my parents really emphasized any particular values by lecturing. By example (as in the way they live their lives), they showed filial piety and kindness in their help extended to relatives who need it. They were very generous with anything vaguely related to our education although they generally don't spend much on themselves (I needed to think hard about this 'cos they were nevery showy about this, never lauded themselves as being thrifty or even budget conscious). The emphasis was on the academics... I don't know, maybe we were generally good children and didn't need much lectures on morals - honesty, etc.

But, even though my parents were not very rich - you know, the usual middle class sort, I think I was a little spoilt as a kid. Preciousgem said her daugher was temperamental...well, I was very temperamental, too. I had a lot of pocket money (to me), and spent them on penfriends and presents for friends and a huge Europe trip after graduation... So, a little belatedly, I am learning to be calculating and thrifty now...no choice. But, I have to qualify, my idea of being very thrifty differs from my husband who thinks he's never lived more extravagantly. There was one Korean show where the lady character said "Bring up your children as prince and princesses, and they'll live like a pauper". Think that if I were brought up in a really poor family, the idea of being a SAHM would be totally outrageous. Great entrepreuners e.g. Olivia Lum experienced great hardship and learnt the value of money. I'm learning now...keep telling my children that they have to be thrifty (something which my parents never did with me).

 

[sleepy_bear]

Well, since we are on the topic of values, here's an extract from a book I am currently reading, "Why won't my child listen" by Myra Grisdale & Janet Cater.

"Values are a set of personal beliefs in which a person has an emotional investment (either for or against something). we all have them..."

"The fundamental importance of values in raising children is slowly being realised and implemented in schools around the world with a United Nations initiative called Living Values: An Educational Program. This innovative global education program offers a wide range of values activities and practical methods to educators, facilitators, parents and caregivers that enable children and young adults to expore and develop 12 universal values: unity, simplicity, responsibility, happiness, humility, honesty, respect, peace, love, tolerance, freedom and cooperation.

This program has so far been implemented in 74 countries at over 7000 schools. Reports from educators state that the program has enhanced both teacher-student and student-student relationships inside and outside the classroom, with an increase in positive behaviour such as cooperation, respect and motivation, and a decrease in aggressive behaviour.

We need, as parents, to get our message straight on these 12 basic values and then impart them to our children. Unless we have a set of values that basically agrees with those of our parners, giving clear messages to our children might be difficult. Children pick up on the things they hear their parents saying and tend to mix them up in their heads unless the message is very clear."

Haha. Top on our list - filial piety is not on the UN list of 12 universal values. Maybe 'cos we have taken peaceful co-existence for granted.

Currently, I have lectured my kids on being thrifty, being respectful of other religions (ours a mixed marriage - hubby's a buddhist and I'm a lukewarm, sleeping Christian), being hardworking (not getting through - 'cos my son said his life ambition is to be a stay at home daddy!!!!) Now, you all see why I'm having doubts about being a SAHM? Sigh, but no choice...no alternative caregiver unless we outsource to outsiders.

 

[meekfreek]

Hi Mummies,
We set date first for Saturday 15th September for GATHERING. Can decide a location later.

If you would like to attend you can mark your attendance and cut and paste to update! See response first...

1. Liana (meekfreek) + 2 kids + hubby + maid
2. Tamarind
3. Mouseaction (jastan)
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

 

[happy_33]

Hi hi, I'm back!

Wow ... so many entries, think will take me a while to finish reading everything.

For Tamarind's Qns:
1.You want to live with your kids ?
My ans: No. Think its easier to meet than to stay together. I myself went through this, and truly understand living habits can caused a lot of conflicts.

2.Will you help them take care of their babies ?
My ans: No for now. Sad to say, DS was brought up by my mom, not sure I'm able to do it for my grandchildren ... maybe cannot manage lah <shy>

3.Will you still wear what you are wearing now ?
My ans: Yes.

4.Will you still have the same hair style ?
My ans: Will try short hair or some wavy curls as had been with long straight hair all this while, except wedding period.

5.Will you continue to work after 60 years old ?
My ans: Yes, if I'm still around. Always had the thought that will be gone any time after 50 yrs ... haha ...

6.What if you are too old to walk ? You want your kids to take care of you ? Or hire a maid to take care of you ?
My ans: Think will opt to stay in old folks' home.

7. If you are terminally ill, would you want your life to be prolonged by the doctors ?
My ans: No. Already told DH not to waste $$$ if this happens!

8. Final question: are you afraid of dying ?
My ans: No, just scared that DH will remarry and that new wife will ill-treat DS ... hahaa ...

WHITE HAIR
DH got a lot of white hair though still not 40 yet. Think its genes problem. Discovered that I'm getting more white hair too, guess not enuf sleep

VALUES
Thrify, kindness, filial and respect for elders.


GATHERING
Roughly what time?
Need to bring DS for enrichment class, so got to check timing first.

 

[juz_me]

Hallo folks,

This thread really grows very fast.

Values:
Kindness, filial and respect.

White Hair
Hubby has lots of white hair too though he is in his mid thirties. He always said grey hair is better than no hair...

 

[tanglin]

Kira,

Sure, kept the voucher aside for you already! Just PM me your address so i can mail it to you.


Filial Piety

maybe this is a term unique to the asian culture and therefore not found on the UN's list? but i find that filial piety can be a double-edged sword at times. while being filial encourages children to appreciate and reciprocate what their parents have done for them, there are also some parents who use it as an excuse to impose unreasonable demands on their offsprings.

i agree with Kira that leading by example is the best way to impart values and morals to our kids. Parents can preach till the cows come home, but nothing leaves a deeper impression on the child than seeing us practise what we preach, imho.

 

[sleepy_bear]

Jessica
Pmed you already. Thanks very much.

Dunno leh, my parents never preached morals. My MIL was so shocked that I didn't know the er shi shi xiao that she had to relate one of the stories to me...I think the one where the son laid on ice to melt water for the mother or something. Thought the story was terribly exaggerated...I mean the son could have died and how filial would that be?

 

[sleepy_bear]

It's a really quiet morning...I hoped I hadn't said anything offensive.

There's something I am pondering on... did any Mummies play often with cousins when you were young? When there were conflicts among you and your cousins how did your parents, uncles and aunts resolve these conflicts?

I had a very sheltered childhood...with very little interaction with my cousins; for a short period, we met up every Sunday to swim. Aside from that, it was like once a year during Chinese New Year...

 

[precious_gem]

G O O D M O R N I N G L A D I E S ! ! !

Wow, so many posts ... this thread is moving way too fast and too many topics ...

Gathering,
Yup would like to come, been waiting forever for this. My gal got art class but if she has to miss it for the gathering and meet new friends, I guess that's ok. But it'll be : Me, my 5 yr old gal, and 18mth bb boy.

Values,
My parents impart alot of values in me when I was young but I didn't care much abt it when I was growring up ... though as I get older, especially after being a parent, all those values comes into mind and they make so much sense. Like hippos2002, I was also brought up to take care of parents etc, but now, they are so independent, I mean I've told them a thousand times to move in with me but still prefer to live on their own, go out on their own etc. I do give them them monthly allowance but my parents were thrifty & so got lots of savings. They r also entitled for that new HDB scheme as they live in 3 rm flat. I told my mum she shud take that offer but u know what she said, "I still have money, so I don't need it". I mean she got nothing to lose right. 30 years lease is ok, what, by that time if they r still living they'd be too old to live on their own, can live with me.

btw, my dad instill patriotism in me alot and being and ex NCC girl, I'm also quite patriotic. A real fan of LKY and the PAP.

Basically the main values they impart on me;
Family Values (filial piety, respect for elders, caring for each other/siblings etc)
Honesty (always be sincere & truthful in what u say and do)
Humble
Kindness
Considerate
Responsible (of ur duties, as a doter, wife, mother or whatever work that has been assign to u)
Thrifty (saving)
Respect(for others; opinions, culture, beliefs etc)
Tolerance
Always seek knowledge
Socialise (be friendly and sociable)
Make do with what u have & make the best out of everything/situation

Savings,
Yeah me thrifty too. Right now, save abt 10% of my salary, but got a couple FD accts. On top of this, I have also this "Paycheck" savings/retirement/life insurance by Aviva.

Hair Loss,
Both of us use Audace shampoo and hair tonic. It seems to work.

White Hair,
Hb colour/dye his hair or should I say, I do it for him every 2 wks. Btw, my hb will be 51 yrs old in Nov. I think he's the oldest one here.

Jessica,
Any other vouchers for me ...?

Kira, have a great time there!

I was checking out My Gym at Civic Centre in Woodlands yesterday, looks good.

Exercise,
Try to swim atleast once a wk (Thursdays @CCK, 5pm) and briskwalk as often as I can (while shopping or taking kids to park etc) but cannot control my eating habits ...

Lately tempted to go to one of those slimming treatments, as the offers look so good ... cuz my main prob area is tummy, so big ... don't know how many sit-ups or crunches will take to flatten it, and yeah also breast treatments, as I am slowly stopping to breastfeed my bb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you would like to attend you can mark your attendance and cut and paste to update! See response first...

1. Liana (meekfreek) + 2 kids + hubby + maid
2. Tamarind
3. Mouseaction (jastan)
4. Precious_Gem + 2 kids
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

 

[sleepy_bear]

Preciousgem
Thanks. Have u been to Toa Payoh Safra Club? They have an indoor gym there with slides and balls. It's $5+ per child per entry on school holidays and PH and $3+ on weekdays.

 

[allynn]

Hi mummies,

My home PC down, so unable to join in the chat so frequently. The only spare time is when I'm in the office only when I'm free so unable to answer some of the mummies question, really feel sorry. But I enjoy going through all the posting. Really enjoy!! cheers.

Hi Liana,
Tentatively include me + hubby + son for the gathering on 15/Sept.

White Hair
Hubby have very little white hair & can't see from the surface,(he will turn 40 this sept). He always boast that he has good genes. BU yao lian (in chinese), rite?

For Tamarind's Qns:
1.You want to live with your kids ?
My ans: No. Although I wish to, DIL may find us extra.

2.Will you help them take care of their babies ?
My ans: Yes & no. Yes, If I'm still around when my children give birth.. heee... No, I'm not good at baby sitting. Depends lah.

3.Will you still wear what you are wearing now ?
My ans: No lah. Next time will be ah-mah already should wear something my age when I'm old.

4.Will you still have the same hair style ?
My ans: Will keep short hair for easy maintenance.

5.Will you continue to work after 60 years old ?
My ans: ehhh.. if I can retire comfortably, why not, but at present should work hard first or strike TOTO than no need to work lor... day dreaming again.

6.What if you are too old to walk ? You want your kids to take care of you ? Or hire a maid to take care of you ?
My ans: I will think of staying in old folks' home instead.

7. If you are terminally ill, would you want your life to be prolonged by the doctors ?
My ans: No. both side suffering.

8. Final question: are you afraid of dying ?
My ans: Now yes, will miss my children as they are still not independent yet.

 

[allynn]

Tentatively I'm joining unless bb come out early. Here's the update below.

If you would like to attend you can mark your attendance and cut and paste to update! See response first...

1. Liana (meekfreek) + 2 kids + hubby + maid
2. Tamarind
3. Mouseaction (jastan)
4. Precious_Gem + 2 kids
5. Allynn + Hubby + son
6.
7.
8.
9.
10

 

[sleepy_bear]

I just remembered that my parents taught honesty!!

When I was a little kid, a preschooler maybe about 4 or 5, I discovered a whole lot of stickers and sweets in my brother's room. Of course, I pestered him for the source of his loot and he finally let out that he just took from the supermarket. My eyes widened in shock...that's stealing! But, he said it was alright; nobody said anything. So, for the next supermarket trip - I was all prepared; I donned the dress with the biggest pockets and at the cashier, stuffed them full with sweets. My parents didn't notice my bulging pockets until we were a distance away from the supermarket. Their faces said it all: embarressed, horrified and angry. That day, my brother received one of the worst canings he had in his life. And, my brother and I never shoplifted again.

 

[cowandchick]

Hi all. Sorry couldn't come in much. Boy was down with flu. Then my girl was not well yesterday! Now, she's driving me CRAZY!!!!! Urghhhh!

Won't be able to join the gathering. Weekends bad for me. Maybe next time! Enjoy!

Values
My parents do not deliberately impart values, but we do pick up things from them. I think I got my mum's generosity. She's always helping others, whether in cash or kind. Even people she do not really know.

I remember when I was in primary school, I had a friend who had leukemia, and needed medical treatment. Her family was not very well off. The school appealed to us for donation. I went home, told my mum about it, and she gave $1K, just like that. Because we were so used to her generosity, we didn't think much of it, until the Principal and the child's parent thanked us personally!

Then again, when I was teaching in a school, and one of my pupils was badly hurt in an accident, my mum gave a big sum donation again. This time, I told the principal to keep the donor's identity secret. But the parent wrote a personal note to us.

We weren't terribly well-off ourselves, but my mum always stressed that we should help whenever we can. Afterall, when we die, we can't bring our money with us.

This is what I have been doing all these years too. I paid for a few of my student's fees and exam fees when their families aren't able to afford.

Now, I always encourage my girl to donate part of her savings to charity. We will usually look for an organisation to donate to. I will tell her about the organisation, what they do, and why they need money. Then, I will make the donation for her.

When I volunteered at the School for the Blind, my girl was there to assist me as well. I can tell she really enjoyed herself. It is one way of showing her that she's still very useful despite her disability.

 

[fairyprincess]

Hi mummies,

Been trying to post for the past few days on the various topics, but the system very slow leh...I gave up each time...

Morals:
Still trying to teach my kids the concept of SHARING- they know what it is, but always got to reinforce leh, otherwise, the bickering starts again...sigh...
Any mummies going to watch BABY LOVE by SRT this weekend? Its about a boy learning to live with his baby sister, and what sharing means...I went for their Gingerbread Man production last Christmas, and my kid loved it very much...

FTWM:
It has been a really busy last few weeks for me...any FTWMs feel that there is sooo much work, yet so little time (esp with the kids)...sigh...

Gathering:
So exiting! I would love to come, but will confirm closer to the date if I can...

Kira- your last post re shoplifting was really funny! How innocent kids think and follow their older siblings...

 

[tanglin]

Hi Precious Gem,

Go Go Bambini voucher

Sorry leh only got 1 voucher

..but I received it after signing up as their member(Membership is free!) on the website, http://www.gogobambini.com/membership.php
Wanna join as well?

Loss of hair

where can i get Audace Shampoo and tonic?

Play Gym

how do you find My Gym? took my son(11 mths)for a trial session at JWT Kids Gym @ EastGate a few weeks back. was fun but we feel that he will enjoy the class more if we wait till he can walk steadily on his own like the other classmates. the food at the Old Hong Kong cafe in Katong Village is yummy though

Gathering

Hope you all don't mind but i can also only confirm later..lots of household maintenance projects lately, ranging from replacing taps to installing window grills to replacing curtains...faint

 

[jastan]

precious_gem
YEah... where to get the shampoo and tonic? Recently I notice hubby dropping a lot of hair and can see that his hair at the middle portion is very thin already..

Loss of Hair
Do you think going to those hair specialists like Yunnan or Beijing 101 helps and is it really effective?

 

[sleepy_bear]

Cowandchick
Yah, it's really stressful when the kids get sick. Usually, I try to make them rest as much as possible and try to get some myself. Your family is an admirable example of how charity runs in families.

Hope to follow in your footsteps when my kids are older.

Jessica
Thanks for your lobang. I submitted my registration too.