Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?

Hi Tam,
While I wish for my boy to learn to read soon (very much inspired by your kids' learning journeys), I cannot force him to like alphabets and reading as some other kids do, can I? Some kids are faster + more interested in books. I'm just grateful that he's keen on tracing/writing alphabets/numbers and colouring for at least 30 - 60mins a day at the moment. If I push books in his face, it may just kill any tiny interest left. It's ironic that I love books but the kid isn't, isn't it? He does ask me to read but isn't interested in plot. He prefers non-fiction type of books and sometimes staring at the pictures in the newspapers, asking us to explain what's happened (eg. fire/accident).
 


mumusings,
The truth is that I spent very little time teaching the alphabet and numbers. I let my boy watch the Leapfrog DVDs and Richard Scarry's best counting video everyday. I did not even let him practice writing the alphabet, I left it to the pre-school teachers. When I started to teach him phonics, he could only pay attention for less than 5 mins at a time, I could not teach him for more than 30 mins. When he started reading Peter and Jane, he read only one page a day. Fortunately, I started teaching phonics and reading when he was 3 years old, and even though I taught him for a very short time a day, he can read very well by 5 years old. My girl spent a lot less time learning. Different kids progress at a different pace, but I think that kids below the age of 6 do not need to spend more than one hour learning languages everyday.

So learning for 30-60 mins is enough for your son at his age. My son also prefers non-fiction type of books when he is younger. Now at P2 he is reading more fiction.

I have been criticized by ks parents for over teaching my kids before they could read thick books in 2 languages by P1. The fact is that I am a full time working mother, dead tired after work, no patience, and have a son with very short attention span, how is it possible for me to drill my kids for many hours a day ? It is just that I understand my son's learning style very well, and I persist on using good resources, unlike other parents who prefer to let so called early childhood education professionals do the job.

I remember that when my kids brought back one sheet of homework from kindergarten to do, I found it extremely ridiculous. I did not care about whether they finished or not. They already spent 4 hours learning in the kindergarten, why make them learn more ? My kancheong mother was the one who nagged them to finish their homework. She is not educated, so she could not teach them herself.
 
Hi Mumusings/ Tam,

Both my girls also have very different learning styles. I realised that when I started to teach my DD2 on Peter and Jane Series. My DD1 can sit down with me for 30 min to learn to read. But, not for my DD2. I have to learn her learning style and teach her as it goes. She has already finished Bks 1a/ 1b and 2a/ 2b of P&J series and Book 1 of 四五快读. I am quite surprised by her progress as I adopt a freestyle teaching method on her and she is absorbing the sight words very well. Imagine she can sing out the words (both for English and Mandarin) to me instead of reading when I ask her to read aloud to me? She is also not the kind to read from Chapter 1 and in chronlogical manner. Sometimes she will flip to the page she like and start reading many pages of the books she has read before. To me, I just go with the flow with her so long as she is learning :p
 
Hi Snowball and Tam,
My son can't read at all hahaha but he has strong motor skills, can play badminton (very accurate smashing), terrific memory and very creative. My main objective is to encourage him to be polite, thoughtful, less brash and more patient.
 
snowball,
My son also sings out the words sometimes. Recently he found the phonics cards I used to teach him and he smiled and played with them enthusiastically. I am glad that he enjoyed his learning experience. I am sure that your girls are also enjoying learning with you.

mumusings,
It is rare to find a child who is very creative nowadays. Most kids are too busy attending 4 to 6 enrichment classes, no time to develop creativity.
I have worked with many students, including GEP kids, and I have never met any student who is very creative before.
 
Hi Mumusings,

Another 2 big cases of GRAFT publicised - from SPH and City Harvest Church.....pressure from the environment? OR the $$$ is simply too attactive to resist? Sighhhhhh

Hi Tam - My DD1 has finally completed her P & J series
happy.gif
I am going on to complete all the book Cs and she will be on her own. I brought them to the library and borrowed the book The Giving Tree for them to read. My DD1 enjoyed the book very much. I asked her to read it again and to tell me what she think of the boy in the story.

Hi Mumusings - Its good that your DS is creative and good in his motor skills. I also find its more impt to teach them the softer aspect of life - to respect, polite and thoughtfulness / patient...I always find that the NEA advertisement on littering and the graduate being served CWO very meaningful and constant reminder that having a good education includes all aspects of education, not just academic.
 
Tamarind,

Glad to know we share similar tastes!
I am very lucky in the sense that my dad used to be a chef, until he started his own business. He can conjure up any Chinese dish and it always turned out restaurant standard. If there was a new dish we tried outside, all he did was taste it and he would be able to replicate the dish/sauce etc at home. As a poor kid with little education growing up, he trained to be a chef… a hard life but his job was also his passion. Then met my husband, who also love to cook and cooks all our meals now and even ensures lots of variety, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Italian, French etc. I am very well-fed by all the men in my life!


Mumusings,

Your son is a lucky boy to have a mum like you who understands and let him enjoy the process of growing up (not to mention, also make nice hokkien mee and char kway teow for him)!
I especially concur with point 4) Is success the only way to gain happiness in life? What is the definition of success anyway?

I went to parents-teacher conference last Sat and #1’s teacher mentioned his fine motor skills are not as developed, meaning crayons, pencils holding etc…still using 4 finger grip… need to practice. Immediately my first response was panic and want let him do lots and lots of colouring at home and also feel guilty as to whether I have neglected his development because of his younger siblings.
My hubby is totally not fussed and reminded me not to force.

After reading all the posts, note to self: All kids develop differently. Be grateful for my kid’s strong points : in his case, language, speech and memory.


Co-sleeping: We also share our bed with #1 who is 3. The twins have their own bed and bedrooms. He used to sleep on his own until he was around 2 years and the twins arrived, plus started CC so very bad case of separation anxiety. Ended up in our bed and never left since….we also headache how to evict this squatter.

To side track a bit, this month we welcomed another set of twins into our family. My hubby’s bro and wife were also blessed with a set of boy-girl twins. Their #1 is also a boy like us.
So ‘qiao’ right? What are the odds? Needless to say, my parents-in-law are elated.
 
Hi Snowball,
The City Harvest folks sure know how to spend! S$23million in 3 years! Wow! Amazes me ppl are still fanatically protecting these charlatans and giro-ing 10% of their income to their church. Whatever they try to explain about using secular music to read out to non-believers, I don't buy it. Just look at that woman's tarty image. They claim to use Satan-like music to beat Satan + her music is actually workshipping God... I really don't get it. Btw they own numerous apartments in that Horizon Towers (the highly publicised en-bloc sales case) --- where do all these millions come from?

When these people make $$$ their top priority and use scams to gather monies, they forget that while they get to enjoy 10x profits (like he preaches), they will also get 10x punishment. Not just jail but the damage they do to their own families. They obviously thought they'll thrive forever since they've hatched this scheme for 23 years and won over legions of giro-donations. Very easy to do maths and transfers BUT life isn't just about wealth although money is essential.

Hi Gerbera,
You're one lucky lady to have your dad cook so well. For my own family, only one uncle can cook well. The rest were 'exempted' from chores.
 
tamarind and mumusings..
Thanks !S is an adventurous person lo.

tamarind and others
Who's went korea in end of Nov b4 ? can share the weather and which airlines..
 
tamarind, mumusings

So glad I can find mummies who agree and share the same thought as me. I thought I was "outdated" heeheehee

however, i must constantly remind myself not to be pulled into the "force" and lose my "foothold". thank you for your affirnation. at least i am now more than surer that I am doing the right thing for my second gal
 
Hi all,
Regarding the CHC case... those few ppl are charged for another S$26.6 million in some buyback scheme (bonds)! That makes nearly 50mil. What do these people need all that money for? To make it a trillion? They apparently arrested the pastor in his Sentosa Cove S$9.3m penthouse. Plus their 13 units at Horizon Towers and don't know what else, these properties already come up to many millions.

Hi Helen,
I get what you mean. There are days I wonder if I've shortchanged my son by keeping him at home to play and write. BUT I know I've made the right choice when I see how lousy those kindy teachers are. I just need to find a more creative way to start on phonics since he's beginning to show interest in sounds letters make (he knows but only recently he's making the sounds, rather than merely identifying the alphabets). The only word he can spell "L-O-V-E" thanks to hi-5 song hahahaha...
 
Hi Mumusings,

I wonder if these people ever have any conscious when they siphone and use the $$$, mostly, if not all are donations and tithings from church goers.

Actually, I am very disturbed by the "undaunting" support from those church members whom still "support" their pastor, unreservedly. These people must have been badly intoxicated that they need a good dose of "antidote" to wake them up.
 
mumusings

yes music works for most if not all. my gals learn fast through songs and when i teach hanyu pinyin through songs, my pupils can remember till they were P6! The power of good music!
 
mumusings,
I did not know that people are giro-ing 10% of their income to their church. This is shocking.
I remember when I first saw Sun Ho, I was wondering how come this woman can become a singer ?

I think that the elites believe that they deserve all the best things in life, because they are "special". They have absolutely no compassion for low income families.

snowball,
Actually I don't understand why those church members are willing to pay so much money. It is not like they will receive any benefits.


pink gerbera,
You are very lucky ! My hubby does not even know how to cook instant noodles.


helen,
You are certainly not outdated. I am trying to find more like minded mommies, and I believe that there are more out there. The internet forum seems to be filled with parents too anxious to stretch their kids' abilities, always thinking about which tuition class to send their kids to.
 
Hi Tam and Snowball,
I know of ppl who fanatically give 10% and so much counselling to go through if you quit big churches. If you've read their newsletter, the CHC ones feature people who give ALL their money and claim they get back many times more. Like donating $10000 and then after their personal lives changed + more earnings + open up new buisnesses. Best part is, everyone wears Ed Hardy shirts (Sun ho's boutqique carries this exclusively) in their newslatter. Which seems to suggest that $$ goes round and round the same ppl. Printer, photographer, fashion, buy albums etc. What the newspaper calls 'rountripping' of money. In fact, the monthly 10% can be paid at cash counters or via credit cards. One post somewhere I read, the pastor encourages people to give till it "hurts" for they will receive 100x rewards for their generosity. Amazing how 33000 subscribe to CHC and many more boast of their own churches as "rich".

The co-owner of the Sentosa Cove penthouse who owns value stores in Singapore
http://www.tnp.sg/content/ive-known-kong-about-20-years-says-indonesian-who-gave-church-600000

Read 'testimonies' of money-multiplying here:
http://www.chc.org.sg/harvesttimes/ht_30/ht_30_09a.asp
 
Hi Tam,

I think it's improper to teach our kids to expect returns when we put in effort or make donations. Why must everything come back in $$ in order for efforts to be worthwhile? Some people have this idea that charity is good if it can provide tax relief, help kids get to top schools/kindy or business benefits (donate so that the leaders will KIV business deals or help pass namecards around).

I've ever heard of ppl complain how they converted to christianity/donated/volunteered + shift to 1km near school but failed to get in because they were likely outbidded. Don't know if it's true but it's scary if yes. One teenager told me: "I told Jesus that if I pass my prelims I will return to church and if I do badly maybe I won't attend so frequently..." What sort of manipulative logic is this?? Isn't academia based on abilities and sheer industry??
 
Hi mumusings,
Before reading your post, I did not think that the monthly 10% donations were meant for charity. I thought that it is meant to support the church or some form of investment. I don't donate any money to charity, because I know money can be mis-used. Instead, I buy actual food items and donate them to the poor. I do not expect any returns. i absolutely agree with you.

In fact, I don't believe that we should give money freely to the poor. What the poor need is a good education so that their children can turn out to be professionals. Unfortunately, our education system is such that if you cannot afford any tuition and cannot teach, then your child is not likely to do very well in school.

If I have the time, I will give free tuition to the poor.

I think it is absolutely despicable for CHC to use money meant for charity to support their lavish lifestyle.
 
Tamarind

Yes i used to donate to NKF, but stopped after the scandal. Now I only donate food stuff to BB when they do they have the year end doantion drive.

I agree with you on educating the poor so they will know how to fish and not always providing fish for them.

Bumped onto this website which donate books to African kids. quite meaningful

http://www.bookstoread.org.sg/about-us.htm
 
I personally feel many moden day churches over emphasize on tithing…as it is a means for them to build upon their church fund.
Tithing/giving is intended to be a joy and a blessing. Sadly, that is sometimes not the case in the church today.
“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver”
 
I think they also omitted the part which Jesus mentioned to his disciples to work for their food, not simply waiting for others to feed or provide for them(although they are doing God's work)

Religion is a double-edged sword. Sad that many has misused the power given to them. Always love the quote from Spiderman:

With power comes RESPONSIBLITY!

Many want POWER but not the latter.....

I always believe Power comes from the One who gives. He who chooses to give can also choose to take away.

Funny how they can study the bible so well and missed out important verses like that.

GREED is the root of all evil.....across all mankind
 
mumusings,
Thanks for the insights about how CHC lures people to give money. This is something I was not aware of.


helen,
Thanks for sharing the website, it is very meaningful.

I have some experience teaching in primary school classes, with below average students, and a class size of 40. I was "atttacked" by students shooting staplers at my back. Some students refused to sit still and keep quiet. A student who is keen to learn will find it very difficult to learn in such an environment. The weak students need to be put in a much smaller class so that teachers can pay more attention to each of them, and a smaller class is much more easier to control. This is the reason why many parents need to hire tuition teachers for their kids who are weak academically. Those who cannot afford tuition teachers will not do well.

Both the CHC pastor and the followers are greedy right ? Since the followers are lured to donate money because they expect greater "returns in investment".

pink gerbera,
I learned a new word from you today, tithing.
Every religion guides people to be good and kind.
People like CHC are profiting in the name of religion.
 
Hi Mumusings,

This church is trying 2 tell people that the more u give, the more rtn u get. But, they smart, add flowery words like family ties n love comes wif it. Isn't this by itself a satanic act? Subsume 2 monetary temptations. Read on ST on the "singing career" of his wife. I strongly sense tat this church is teling people tat they only welcome those who can pay n tat God only bless those who give ($€£¥$$$) lots of it.Those free loaders who dun give $$$ will be blessed less or will they be blessed at all? This is so ridiculous. those members have been badly intoxicated liao. One day, shd their business fail, only will they wake up tat they have not been blessed afterall?
 
Hi all,

I hope I don't offend with my frank posting on religion. I have no ill feelings towards any one sect/cult/belief whatsoever but some characters I've known really irked me with their true colours.

I 'used to' have some friends who were fanatic followers of CHC/similar churches and they will say things like "what's wrong with following us to church? free food and music... won't kill u right?" OR worse, someone told me "I won't pray for u 'cos you're still not going to church". Another one slammed the phone down (we never spoke again since sec 3 till now!) after I said I didn't wish to attend those religious ralies (which made her 'convert on -the-spot').

One of my dad's friends who failed to convert all of us all these years said the following to me (when I was just being polite, greeting him on the street one day): "So, is your father a Christian YET?" I said, "No, uncle xxx, we're still free thinkers" He then said to me, "Go home and tell your family that there's no FREE LUNCH in this world." You mean our life/existence is owing the church???!!! I mean, my family has NEVER asked/received/gave favours based on ties/religion/office before!

Another of dad's friends called me on my convocation day to congratulate me. Was feeling weird how she knew and why the sudden concern. Turns out after 5 minutes of conversation: "You're a big girl now and do you want to consider getting insurance from aunty or join us for church one day?" Church = income opportunity?

A few ex-colleagues tried to get me to church on an overseas trip. They think that if I step into any old/new church, I will be transformed instantly (am I a Devil?). I overheard one saying to another colleague: "7th month is here and I can feel the evil around me already. I don't understand how some people refuse to accept Christ and cast off Evil (ME?).."

Sigh... where is the sincerity and humility before God? Why are these people playing God or placing interpretations on the Bible? I am a non-believer but attended a churchy kindy. My teachers NEVER sold religion although we had to pray before snacktime and sing songs. Instead, they focused on values like honesty and not bullying.
 
Hi Helen,

An NKF staff hung up on me after one cold call regarding a new children's fund. That was around 2001 I think. Was getting pissed off with all those advertisements about donating to NKF and winning a condominium/creditcardvalue/car if you dial 1800-XXX-XXXX. I brought up the following points: (1) why was NKF sending THREE copies of very heavy booklets to ONE address --- when the $$ could have gone to patients? (2) why are they not focusing on NKF patients? (3) why are they splurging on useless charity shows and playing on public sympathy? (4) can they not save the money on these calls for NKF patients? (5) WHY were dangerous stunts performed on shows to 'save' lives?

The lady on the phone said it was company's "directions". I knew then it was time to stop supporting all these nonsensical self-concocted excuses to raise 'funds'.

Anyway, I boycotted all charity shows, NKF and anything with Chew Chor Meng (the ad that said "need lobang for $$? donate to NKF and you stand a chance to win...". I'd rather give items directly to Boys' Brigade or orphanages because it didn't look like much was going to the poor/sick. Look at their swanky offices and decor? Hospitals should be well-equipped, run by skilled staff/doctors etc.

I was definitely glad to see TTDurai and fellow fraudsters packed off to jail when the truth of their large reserves, only 10% used on patients and their self-serving ways were exposed!
 
Hi mumusings,

I also hv similar experience as u. I used 2 hv a close friend in Sec Sch. She invited me 2 join her on Sunday church svc. I attended svc wif her 4 almost 6 mths when she finally popped the questionef why I was still not converted. When I reason with her that I was not ready, she start 2 say nasty things n tat I'm wasting her time and playing her out. We became strangers overnight. I was very disappointed as I was from a mission sch n I attend weekly bible study sessions. We had very nice religion teachers n pastors who were nvr as pushy. That was never my understanding on the behaviour as advocated in the bible's teachings. No offence 2 christians in this forum. My boss n close colleague whom I know fir almost 20yrs now are Christians also never behaved that way tho' they also failed in trying 2 convert me. They just tell me that they will continue 2 pray 4 me.

I juz dun understand that why are people so obssessed with how many people they can convert within the shortest timeframe. Is this meaningful?
 
for Islam we pay Zakat but only 2.5% yearly based on the savings that are "untouched"(minimum amount in the bank account for the one year). Geezz no wonder they can afford to stay at sentosa cove! my hubby said mayb he is earning more than our PM!
 
mumusing,

haha...sorry, but I find it funny and no link to becoming a christian to cast off evil lor...

take a amulet is even better rite? No offence to any christian lah. But hor my dad was as dang ki and from young I hv seen and heard how some christian got possessed by ghost and their church unable to help them cast it away and they finally able to cast it away by gng to my dad temple lor...

In fact, be it christian or not but if u so 'heng' to be selected by the hao xiong di, there is no way to cast it off easily de...
 
mumusing

same here, I stopped donating to a particular charity once that charity goes on TV. They would have more than enough.
I only select those charities without publicity as they would usually be low on funds


re: converting

One not so pleasant encounter was with a stranger 25 years ago. An auntie approached me. Then she visited every week at my house (outside the gate) to preach. Even though I told her repeatedly not to waste her time. I couldn't convert because my mom would disown me (seriously I was telling the truth!).
Yet she said never mind even if disown by my mom. She was chased out of the house by her father too. Gosh, she was unbelievable persistent, almost like a stalker!

Fortunately my Christian friends are not pushy at all. My kids attended church kindergarten so I attended some talks organised by church kindergarten too. I think it's important to respect each other's religion, even if that person's religion is different from ours - like our national pledge
 
What interesting encounters we've all had! I've got friends from various religions and most have kept to their own without preaching to me. Used to have Malay and Indian classmates in uni and we eat our nasi padang and prata in the canteen happily. Religion/language was never an issue 'cos we were happy chatting about our tutorials, future etc. Even with Buddhist friends, we'll eat vegetarian or a fruit salad together but they will never ask me to give up meat or go to the temple!

I was at Raffles Hotel bus stop and was stopped by 3 teenagers (I was also 18 then). Two came up to ask if I wanted to attend their church concert 'cos it's very hip, fun and "nearby". I said "no thank, am in a hurry." They kept pushing me to join and then a THIRD one came up and said, "You should join mine 'cos my churchis better." I said NO to all and asked them, "If u worship the same God, why is one church 'better' than another?" Clearly, all these 'hip' places started in the late 1980s. Some of my ex-schoolmates were such fanatics that they tore out cassette tapes chanting "pop songs are satanic". Was a terrible way to end Sec 4 and JC.

During one tutorial in JC, my friend passed around a paper. Title was "How much will you devote your life to Him'. So the class list was copied out with some writing 200%. I'm glad I survived JC. They were all so nice and helpful until religion came to divide the believers from non-believers.

My classmate organised a class party after Promos and it ended up a conversion session! I was so shocked after eating, all chairs and sofas were pushed to one side. 3 Christians to 1 non-believer. My friend kept reading the Bible and then asked me "So will u accept Christ?". I said I wasn't ready and I have been reading Bible on/off since there was a copy at home. She said "This is not enough. You must say to me that you have accepted Jesus as your saviour." I refused and asked her why she believes in Christ. She kept repeating how God sent Jesus to absorb our sins and he died on the Cross to free us.

You can imagine the Hell these folks put me through. I (and a few others) became the oddities in class. Everything was tied to religion. They even disliked some poems we did during Literature classes 'cos they were unholy or not Christian. I can't understand why they have to have everything 'Christian' and all other people are so tolerant of differences.

Well, no one has been able to sell me church so far and I am glad my family stands firm on freedom of religion. My dad just doesn't want us to hop on popular wagons for the sake of friends/benefits.
 
re: donation to religion

For mine, there is no request for donation. I think some give $5 to $10 a month while some not at all, which is fine too. Entirely up to our 心意 & 能力.
We can also bring fruits or cook dishes.
 
Hi mumusings,
Years ago I encountered someone who knocked on every door to invite people to church. He argued with me about the evolution theory for one hour. This was the only interesting encounter.

Fortunately I did not have classmates like yours, though some classmates scorned me because of my love for Chinese. Back then it was not fashionable to be good in Chinese.
 
Hi Tam and all,

Thanks for the link. Am at a stalemate with the kid at the moment regarding learning so am thinking through methods before I implement my next move. He volunteers to colour/trace and I sometimes treat him to a gift if he keeps things neat.

Knocking on doors to sell religion is still happening. I told one guy that I have relative who's pastor and he said: "He may not have the best grasp of the gospel and you ought to open your heart and listen to what I have to share". I am very scared of the word "share" when it comes from Christians. You got to share your time and then eventually your $$$!!!

I've always thought Christians should be delivered from their sins (since they say so) but many are paranoid, calculating and kiasu. I have one acquaintence who boasts of a huge bungalow and keeps live chickens in her yard. Reason? So that when end-day comes, she will have some sort of self-sustenance. Funny right? I thought D-day means end of the world = everyone has to report to their respective makers?? She's always talking about 'something will happen to the world on date xx-xx-xx' and links every little incident as god's sign/gift etc. When her daughter flunked Chinese, she said it was God's Will 'cos the distinction went to someone else whom God wished to give to. What sort of logic is this? And whenever there was a gift from someone in the form of catered food/treat, she attributes this to her ability to foresee 'cos she happened to wish to eat the same thing... One year, she predicted that great destruction would happen on end-June but strangely nothing happened worldwide. She kept quiet abt it and went on to offer to pray for everyone.

Sigh... I only know I'm lucky to have survived school and JC. Don't be mistaken. I loved my respective schools, teachers and curriculum but just these handful bunch of fanatics made life very vexing.
 
Hi mumusings,
That blogger does not write about how to teach kids. That article was about the education system and the tuition syndrome from the point of view of a teacher who has far more insight into the issue than parents who are not teachers.

OIC they are still knocking on doors :p I had 2 aunties who became Christians a few years before they pass away, probably converted by people knocking on their doors.
 
Hi Helen,
How is teaching ? Is it true that every teacher is tied up with admin work, and if a teacher does not do anything other than teaching, there is no hope of promotion ?
Sigh...I am thinking of going to private tuition, quite tired of working life. My job requires me to carry heavy laptop and walk up and down hill, my knees are not as good as before.

Hi mumusings,
You are giving tuition right ? Do you know anyone giving full time tuition, how much can they earn ?
 
Hi Tam,

I was giving tuition when I was in uni, not anymore (that was years ago - 1995 - 1997). I don't know the rates now. You might want to check other threads on the topic and PM the relevant ppl who are tutors. Sometimes it depends on the assignment.

I was ever paid S$1K+ for 8 two-hour lessons (very specifically to do O-levels Lit with before the exams) and S$50 to ensure one boy did his homework in the afternoon, not to teach 'cos kid is super bright. As the mom put it across: "need my son to have a listening ear after school and someone to watch him to his work so that he doesn't play computer games when I am not home". Tuition fees can be as high as 2k a month (twice weekly) to coach non-English speaking kid to prepare them for Primary school. For all these assignments I travelled to the students' homes.

I used to have a friend who has these contacts but she's quit teaching/tutoring and migrated.

Teaching is great and rewarding when one sees students grow. It's the petty politics, bullying, unevenly distributed workload and problems with management which ultimately pushes ppl away from the job.
 
Hi mumusings,
Thanks for sharing. I also gave tuition years ago, don't know the rates now.
I think the super bright kid's mom needed a babysitter more than a tutor. I don't mind doing that.
I wonder if parents are very demanding now ? I remember that when I gave tuition, one kids' mother was so grateful when he scored over 80 marks for maths. I think that is not going to happen now.

The thing that bothers me about teaching in MOE schools is that if we only want to teach and do nothing else, then there is no hope of promotion or increment. Quite depressing after a while.
 
Hi Tam,

Yes, you put it across very aptly (the point abt teaching)!

Indeed, the $50 assignment was to babysit the boy 'cos his grandma/maid couldn't make him sit still to do work. So bored was he that he deliberately locked the door from inside and pretended he couldn't assess his homework. Maid had to carry a mattress into the garden for him to climb and jump into the room to 'unlock' the door.

The parents I've met were grateful and will call to update me about their eventual results. I was getting S$200 - S$400 for primary school kids. Also did free-of-charge for cousin doing O-levels Lit. Boys are impatient with language/literature and it takes a while to explain the importance of using adequate words/structure to put their ideas across.
 
Hi Tam,

I used to work in the Govt Sector for about 7yrs. This is the way Civil Svc works, not only happening in MOE. If you want to get promotion/ get an excellent Staff Assessment, you have to prove that you are capable and able to do well in other aspects besides your job. I was a Finance Officer. But, I was loaded with many other "Secondary Appointments" like organiser of major events like Ministry level events or Inter-Ministry Events. My boss told me, I have to do well in these Secondary Appointments if I want my promotion. No matter how well I did for my primary job, I will only get a C grading (Satisfactory performance). But, if I do well in my Secondary Appointments, I will be able to get a A or B grading.

This is how the Govt works. I should say, my tour in the Govt Sector did hone me to be able to multi-task. But, I still find in ridiculous and unrealistic expectations from superiors that they expect you to perform like an octopus (while executing your Secondary job, you still have to ensure that your Primary job runs well and you are held answerable for both aspects).

It is sad to say that teachers nowadays are loaded with so many KPIs that they just concentrate on surpassing the numbers in order to excel and get promoted. What is our Education system becoming????

I have colleagues whom come back complaining that their kids' teachers actually feedback to them to send their children for tuition. Or, risk being left behind.

I also used to teach tuition during my U-days and yes, parents then were less demanding. One parent of my student whom always failed her Chinese, told me that she is happy enough if her daugher can pass her PSLE CL2 subject. She managed to score a B in the end and the parent actually gave me a big angpao for that.
 
Hi snowball,
Thanks for sharing. I did not know that this is the way civil service works, not only MOE. How can teachers be motivated to teach well ? I have a new performance appraisal form this year, and there is measurement of how well we teach, or how well the students appreciate us.

The fact that 90% of students in Singapore require tuition, from the weak to the brightest, is a result of this system.

The Straits Times continues to sing praises about our education. A few days ago I read an ST article which mentioned previous UK PM Margaret Thatcher saying that UK is learning from Singapore. She did not know that all our good results are thanks to parents spending huge amounts of money on tuition.

I will probably continue to work, then try to take on a tuition assignment, if I can manage to find the time.


Hi mumusings,
That boy is really spoilt.
I used to be paid less than $100 for primary school maths, the fees are so much higher now.
 
Hi Tam,

That is stressful.....so the measurement on "how well you teach" will be based on exam results? Again, its numbers and numbers and still numbers. Its not an easy job for teachers nowadays.

I am targeting not to send my children for any tuition when they go Pri School. Hopefully they can cope.
 
snowball,
Sorry my typo. I mean there is no measurement for how well we teach. It is assumed that we are able to teach well. As long as no parents/students complain about us, no one cares whether we can teach or not.
This is more stressful for me because I am only good at teaching, not good at other things.

My kids refuse to go for any tuition or enrichment class. I would rather save the money. Anyway it is not guaranteed that kids will benefit from tuition.
 
Tamarind

What u said is pretty true. I told my previous head this:"dun touch me for any position" and off i go into the dungeon! no matter wat i contribute, it is back to zero.

i love to teach but have no aspiration to go up the ladder, it is just not my cup of tea. i love working with children in the class. going up the ladder means u have less time to do ground work(researching and sourcing for interesting materials to teach kids etc). I am not willing to sit in endless hours of meaningless planning and discussions etc.

i am happy now doing part time. of course having a huge pay cut is one thing u must be ready to accept. i am also ready to submit my resignation asny time. having this in mind, i am much happier working compared to years b4.
 
Hi Helen,
I made the same mistake of telling the management that I am not good at organizing things, only want to focus on teaching. So they don't give me anything other than teaching, which means I am forever stuck at the same level.

I am teaching in poly now, was hoping that primary and secondary school is different. Are school teachers also on 2 year contract ? If you don't do anything other than teach, do they still renew your contract ?
 
tamarind

gee, I'm surprised you plan to give tuition. I thought you're not supportive of tuition leh

are you thinking of switching out of poly to pri/sec school? not considering going back to private sector? The private sector market seems good recently

by the way, does poly allow part time? ie. only give morning lectures
 
helen

are you teaching part time in primary school?

dd's p2 english teacher left to teach in enrichment center. more money & shorter hours. it's very hard for moe to retent talent unless they do something about teachers' job scope & work life balance
 
snowball

I think private sector also about the same. Just that they never lay out transparently the criteria for ranking. Still got to do whatever 'la la zha zha' things arrowed to you even in private sector.

I'm not very good at networking. Harder to move up the corporate ladder if just doing 份内事, even if did job excellently, it is expected anyway

I doubt I would return to my previous line of work. Need to seek out new career path
 
Hi All,

A food distraction. I've realised that the secret to fried noodles is... MELAMINE PLATE. Local fare seems yummier presented on a melamine plate. Bought one orange plate from a shop for S42.40.

Looks 'pro' right?

Char kway teow (I feel as if I'm the kway teow uncle!)

7237955.jpg
7237956.jpg


7237957.jpg
 
yawn,
Actually I am only against tuition for students who are already getting above 90 marks for every subject.  These students should spend their free time playing.    
Tuition for students who are failing one or more subjects is very important. One for one attention will make a big difference for these students.
 I am looking for a job where I can focus on teaching well, and pay as well as my job now.  Not sure where to find such jobs in the private sector.  I heard that some full time private tutors can earn $10K and above per month, not sure if it is true.
There are part time lecturers in poly, but the pay is half that of full time lecturers.
 


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