Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?


Tamarind,

Really impressed by your kids who can write effortlessly.

Mine - 2 boys P2 and P4 struggle to write. It doesn't help especially my older one does not read much. Nowsadays, with so much homework, reading is sort of "impossible"... any pockets of free time, he wants to play... *sigh*
 
Just to share with mummies using XL diapers and Pampers. S$8 for 2 packs (16-piece pack x 2 = 32 pieces) at Watsons' fair at Marine Parade
happy.gif
 
Hi Snowball,

Good for u! I'm still toilet training kid. Definitely need them at night. Have cut down quite a lot lately (max 4 pieces a day) since he now declares when he needs to poop.

Hi all,

My most heroic moment (other than labour) - killing a big fat lizard today hahaha... 4 inches long and very fat! Horrible thing has been squeaking at night for the past weeks but havent been able to locate him. Good thing the kid spotted the creature so we went all the way out to trash it just now. Hilarious.

Pictures not for the faint-hearted --- can show your kids if they've never seen a lizard drop it's tail. Managed to collect some nerves to snap a few pictures while the stupid thing was playing dead. http://mumusings.blogspot.com/2012/03/trash-lizard.html
 
hahaha...mumusings u r so funny. i have been killing these creatures and roaches since i shifted in to the present house! tried dettol and it works fast n creature dies a nice death heeheehee easier for me to clean up. but i didn't like the dettol overpowering smell so changed to Melaleuca products and works well too!

geez.. where r all the men ah? hahahaha
 
Hi Helen,

Dettol -- you mean spray at them? My hb delivered the last whack with newspaper (after I took the pic) and then picked the pieces up to wrap in newspaper. He was shifting a few shelves just to make the creature dash out for us to trash. I am scared of roaches, especially the ones that do kamikaze-piloting. When I was a kid, I had one crawl over my neck when I was asleep at night and have been terrified of their sound ever since.
 
mummusings, i WILL NOT be looking at that link...

eeeeekksssss!

helen, u mean dettol (the brown one) or some new spray? What malaeleuca product is good for killing insects?
 
Hi Mumusings,

I hate lizards! I put lizard traps at home to catch lizards.

Toilet training - I started to toilet train my kids when they turned 18mths. Both can go diaper-free during the day within 3 mths of training. I still put on diapers for them when we are out initially just in case I cannot find toilets when they need it. I train them to hold their bladder for a while for a few mths before I can let them go diaper free even when going out.

Night training - I wake them up to wee...weee 2 - 3 times a night. My DD2 was trained faster than her elder sister and she went diaper free at night 1st.

Hi Diana - Welcome to chat. My DD2 is also 4yo this year.
 
hi Snowball,

My boy was toilet trained by his nanny de. At abt 16 mths old, he is diaper free both day and nite. He is able to hold his pee till he wake up in the morning. And there is once or twice when he wake up himself to pee.

But my gal seem slower although her nanny (same nanny as my boy) was training her. But for me I am fine with it de....hehe..She also start to walk slower than her kor kor lor....My son walk at exactly 13 mth old while she walk ard 14 mth plus.

Pauline, my gal is also a Nov bb, but she is born in 2010.
 
re: creepy crawlies

I don't like to use pesticide. So my method is to wet a stack of toilet paper or tissue and chase after creepy crawlies, piat on it, pick up together with the tissue paper & throw inside a plastic bag. I tried my best not to kill the insect although not quite possible sometimes
 
mumusings, bloom

i dilute(not too much or else no power) dettol , yes the brown solution, and put in mama lemon bottle. when i see them i take aim. when these creatures get the solution, they simply get "burnt" alive(sorry, if it sounds cruel...but i am trying to be more humane by keeping their bodies "wholesome" heeheehee)the body gets harden and after a very short while, creature no longer move and confirmed dead, i sweep them off without much mess to clean up(geezzz.. dun like to squash them with everything out of their bodies yikes!) for lizards, u can see the body turn black. so if it was pink and light skin color, u can tell when it is dead when it turns black.
now i stopped using dettol and switched to eco friendly products. the one i m using is actually a multipurpose solution called tough n tender. same thing: dilute and use a spray. i love this one cos result is the same but it leaves a nice fruitty fragrance instead. used it for table top n inside cabinets to "ward off" ants and lizards. but of course it is not once and for all. once no smell, they will come back lor. (however, my friend who is more hardworking has no prob with ants coming back.)
these die hard creatures just love living in our space, dun they??!!!:{
 
Hello Diana and Pauline! Great to have u join us
happy.gif


Hi Bloom,

Hahaha... After I wrote a post on the lizard and clicked on it --- I instinctively looked away... best u don't click on the link if u are very scared of lizards.

Hi Yawn,

Good idea! I just hope I don't miss the target and have to get another stack weapons. I usually leave ants alone unless they steal my food. I killed almost 30 at one shot 'cos they hid behind my plate of satay last weekend! Ants are very fast these days and can appear out of nowhere. No trail and they even drink detergent. Weird diets they have!

Hi Helen,

How much is the 'Tough and tender' all-in-one solution? You're certainly at expert with lizards, dead or alive. That fat creature we killed yesterday was fat and pink. He was acting dead of course. Tail was black and swishing till nearly 1.5 feet away. Thanks to good ball sense I threw my 'newspaper-stick' at it hard and accurate enough to stun it for 10 seconds before my husband took over. I have a bottle of diluted dettol at all times and didn't realise it can come in handy for lizard battling!
 
mummies,

do you know the rationale behind the emphasis on making kids write "q" with no tail, "t" with tail, strict enforcement of small letters in hypy? Ever since my boy started p1, I felt shocked to see that he had been marked wrong again and again for that. I tried to remind him especially after teacher sent email to do so. But I really think its a complete waste of time and fail to see why we should be wasting time on "tail or no tail". Emphasis on hypy is already, to me, walking 3 steps backward from allowing the kids to learn the chinese characters already, and we still have to demoralise them by emphasizing such absurb technicalities. Any idea? I felt infuriated every time I see him marked wrong. It could be a gentle reminder without being marked wrong I felt.
 
Hi poohy,

Thanks for sharing. I didn't know that having tail/without matters! Most teenagers don't even write properly anymore and their r look like n, q like a (due to the fact that they write in a certain style). Had very strict English teachers throughout Primary school but I don't remember them penalising us for tails. They were super vigilant when it came to spelling, grammar, neatness and cursive writing. Guess different schools/teachers have different standards? PSLE English --- do they penalise for 'wrong' font, maybe you can check with MOE? I know for O-levels, unintelligible writing may lead to markers not being able to read/understand = loss of marks. Don't know for Primary school.
 
Hi mommies,
I am extremely busy preparing to move to the new flat. The movers are coming tomorrow and I am less than 40% packed !  Today I must be at work the whole day. I will probably have to go without sleep tonight.

So many things still not done, I haven't even put up the curtains in the new flat yet. 

juz_me,
Thanks for your complements. All I have done is to make sure that they read regularly before entering P1. I almost never ask them to write anything before P1.    I only regretted that I have not put in more effort to teach them to read more Chinese books between age 3 to 6. Although both are reading very well in Chinese by P1,  their Chinese is still not as good as their English.

sharon,
Thanks for your compliments. I think that your girl is amazing.
The photos in your blog are beautiful !

poohy,
My boy told me that for Hanyu Pinyin,  teacher say q must not have a tail.   This is also the first time I have heard of it. I don't know of any rationale. I do think that teachers do not need to make such a big fuss over it.  It is not going to help kids with chinese character recognition which is most important.  I do wonder whether MOE teachers understand how Chinese should be taught.   If parents want kids to enjoy learning Chinese, we still have to depend on ourselves to teach the kids at home.
 
mumusings,
q without a tail only applies to Hanyu Pinyin, not English.

For Chinese, teachers are also very strict with the strokes. My kids can have marks deducted for not leaving a small gap in a character. Sometimes I also don't understand why it is wrong, because I have always written it that way and my teacher never marked me wrong. But my girl's teacher explained that deducting marks is only to make sure that they take note. In the final exams, teachers will not be so strict. My husband told me that we should never go against the teacher, so I just ask the kids to follow whatever the teacher says. If they get marks deducted, just treat it as a lesson learnt.
 
mummusing, tamarind,

I would try my best to surface the query to MOE for the rationale. success breeds success, when a child feels confident, they will like what they are doing and be more self motivated. Marking a child wrong just because of the tail, or writing a letter slightly taller (making it seemed a little like capital) when its so obvious that the answer is correct, put them down unnecessarily. I can understand the need to correct "bi hua"/strokes in Chinese, or enforcing proper use of capital letters in English. To force kids into conformance for no good and useful reasons just serve to produce robots who are "beaten" into submission.
 
juz me

our kids are the exact same age. mine also can't write. p4 dd writes too simply, not up to standard. p2 dd carried away, writes novels instead of essay & full of grammar & spelling mistakes. they read furiously since preschool so I really don't know what went wrong

agreed with you on the time squeeze. homework increased substantially after switching school, now they hardly have time to read. I borrowed 20+ library books and they are less than 1/3 covered even though I renewed the books

my dd1 kanna 罚站 by teacher for 1.5 hour because she didn't have time to complete her homework & I refused to let her burn mid night oil to complete it. can't even finish homework, where got time to read?!!
 
poohy

you still have so much fire in you, hehe. I gave up questioning teachers or moe long time ago, no energy left
 
Hi poohy

My girl also started P1 this year. same as ur boy , S had been told q must have no tail, but teacher never marked her wrong , just asked hr to changed it.
 
sharon,

I see. I was very unhappy with the chinese teacher who continually marked him wrong in all his works and mastery test. Its not very encouraging for him. I would think that asking him to correct without marking it wrong is the right way to go even if you really must force those senseless corrections down his throat.

yawn,

my boy just p1 so more energy... hehee but seriously, I am starting to see why so many of my ex-colleagues chose to migrate for their schooling kids. I will keep this option in my mind too. I know my #1 is not the academic type. He has his talents and interest and I know that its only because we are in a one size fit all society with a singular definition of what success is, that he does nt seem to be placed in good light.
 
poohy,
You are really going to query MOE ?  Actually there are so many problems with the way Chinese should be taught.  One major problem is the lack of emphasis on character recognition, and the over emphasis of writing the same few words repeatedly and Hanyin Pinyin.   The result is that many P6 kids, even those in GEP, cannot read a Chinese story book independently.  If a child cannot read independently or speak fluently, how can he write well ?  Many parents resort to forcing kids to memorize model compositions.  A child may get A* in Chinese but hate Chinese so much, he never want to use the language after the exams. This completely defeats the purpose of learning a language.

Even if I write to MOE about my thoughts, i don't think that anything will be changed.  

yawn,
Just curious. How many pages of homework are given to your P4 girl ?
My girl is now in the morning session, she returns home at 2:30 pm everyday.  A few days ago I heard she has 11 pages of maths homework.   In P2 she was once given 7 Chinese comprehension passages to be completed within one night.   Everyday when I return from work at 7pm, she has already completed all homework and reading story books.  I guess other schools give much more homework ?
 
poohy,
Actually to be honest, the polytechnic route is very suitable for students who are not academically inclined. A lot of "help" are given to poly students to help them to pass and enter university. Now there is a 5th university SIT, a collaboration with foreign universities, and their main purpose is to take in poly students.

My younger boy is not the type who can survive in an IP school. I think he is probably more suitable for the poly route.
 
tamarind

it's not only Chinese. she has social study project, maths and other stuff all due around same time. plus needs to stay back in school many times a week, really not much time left for homework. So after completing all those other homework, not enough time to complete Chinese homework that particular day. it was already close to 10pm so I told her to just go to bed and live with the consequences

the thing is, all her classmates finished Chinese. So she's the only one being punished the next day. I don't know how the others managed, probably got to give up some sleep. But I'm really firm on sleeping hours. I rather she learn to improve her time management skills & do thing faster. She needs a lot more time on Chinese since it's her weakest subject. The rest she can complete in a flash

Oh, I told her to try to be more 'street smart' next time, since Chinese teacher is more fierce, die die must do Chinese first, skip the other subject homework instead if really run out of time, hehe. luckily my dd is quite thick skin
 
yawn,
The New Paper recently reported that parents employ tutors to do homework for their kids. Perhaps that's why your girls' classmates can finish their homework. There are such tutors on call 24/7, and they charge $250/hour.

My girl also has homework from a few subjects everyday. I am most fed up that she even has arts homework which is the one that takes up the most time. My girl is very meticulous and she likes to spend a lot of time on her arts work. I was guilty of helping her to colour her work once because I wanted her to sleep early. I almost wanted to complain to the principal. I think learning arts is fine, but it is simply ridiculous to have arts homework at all.
 
Hi Mums,

I am a 36yo FTWM. I have a boy who will turn 3 in April and also a pair of girl/boy twins who are 13 mths old.
The last one year was very crazy for us and I honestly can say, there wasn’t much quality time spent on myself. Now, things are getting slightly more organized, so I can happy to find a group of like-minded mummies of my age group to chit-chat and discuss issues with.
You ladies seem a lively bunch!
I hope you welcome me to the club.
 
tamarind

I'm a sahm so theoretically I can 'do' her homework for her. But I think that defeats the purpose & send the wrong message to the child. Maybe I'm too stubborn but I really believe kids can only learn if they do their own homework. I refused to do homework for my kids since day 1. They also never expect me to 'do' on their behalf. If stuck they can ask me but don't expect me to feed them word for word

I think colouring is fine though. Not going to learn much from colouring. I help my dd to type out her project too as she takes forever to type. But I insist she has to write it herself

I really hope my dd can improve on her time management. Despites my nagging, she has no sense of urgency. She's still so dreamy even though she has a huge pile of homework
 
pink gerbera

welcome! twins are so cute!
I always wanted to give birth to twins because can have more babies at one go

my maternal side has twins & triplets. But somehow didn't happen to me, so disappointing
 
Welcome, Pink Gerbera!


Hi Tam, yawn and all,

I think it's horrid idea to pay someone to help kids do homework. Doesn't teach the kid to be independent and instill the importance of taking pride in one's work + accountability. These parents are short-sighted and mollycoddling their kids a little too much. Coincidentally, I was just telling hb that in future if our son forgets to learn spelling, do homework etc, he'll have to see the red marks. No point pushing kids in a fake way to help them score. They will only suffer in NS and as adults.

There was a report on maids helping employers' kids clean up their uni hostel rooms and do laundry. Very sad how spoilt youngsters have become. How to have responsible parents from this generation when they cannot even fold their own clothes and trash their own bins??? Just my thoughts. These days when my son screams for toy or asks for us to take things to him, I encourage him to pack + find his own stuff. Why should parents/maids be at the beck and call of children?

I definitely will NOT do his homework for him. Help explain and demonstate concepts, yes. No way will I do what I didn't allow my students to do in the past when I was relief teaching (copy homework, be dependent on others etc). I hope this trend doesn't become a ubiquitous practice!
 
mumusings

tell you something funny hor, during CNY, I wore strapy shoes with buckle and a dress. So it's not that convenient to bend down to strap & unstrap my heels each time. Furthermore, we're visiting a number of houses. Thus I assigned dd the task of straping & unstraping my shoes for me. So I can 美美 step in & out of each house and wait for her to strap my shoes for me. But my sis in law and my uncle buay tahan, said I very bad leh, bully my dd into doing this kind of task. So I jokingly replied that's the purpose of having children mah. Actually, I wore socks for my dad too because he has problem reaching due to stiff knees. Not in their presence though. So what's the big deal to get dd to strap my shoes? But it seems to be the general perception parents must 'service' the kids, not the other round.
 
Hi Pink Gerbera,

Welcome to chat....wow...we have a few new chatters now
happy.gif
Nice to that you have a pair of Boy/ Girl twins...they must be so adorable and cute to play with.

Hi Yawn,

Me too....wanted a pair of twins....pain once is enough. My paternal grandfather had a twin sister, my uncle also had a twin sister. My uncle has a pair of twin sons....but, the twins chain seemed to break at my generation leh.

Hi Mumusings - I cannot but was thinking what the world is becoming for our children, tuition to help in schoolwork and now additional tuition teacher to do tuition homework? I wonder if parents have ever thot how much longer can they help by keep hiring help. Or, are these parents helping at all if the child is not learning at all.

I was at my DD2's CC Parent/ Teacher gathering 2 days back. Parents all started to share on those academic enrichment classes their child is attending on weekends (besides those enrichments they have attended at CC)...When they asked me, I told them my kids' weekend enrichment is Music and Swimming class....my hb is a good check on this as he do not allow me to do the mad race with the others.
 
Hi Yawn,

Agree. My son is very helpful with small tasks. Sometimes offering to take our shoes to us or maassage my shoulder. He finds it very 'man' to be very useful in the kitchen/home! I grew up trained not to be calculating with efforts and I guess perhaps some of ur relatives have different mindset.

Hi Snowball,

Certainly. Kids these days have help for everything EXCEPT play, gadgets, computers etc they want privacy! Can't imagine what our country will be in future. Everyone's so used to having a 'shadow' writer for reports/homework so where's the brain/initiative/integrity??!!! My hb and I are totally against hothousing kid in anything-everything. We let him hone his interest and prefer to stress on self-discpline, courtesy and patience 'cos he's really very impetuous+reckless at times. Better teach him well now or else we will live to regret next time.
 
Snowball,

maybe it will skip a generation thus perhaps ur kids will hv twin nx time.

mumusings, ur son so good. My boy getting more mischiefvous lor....so nw i trying a new method on teaching him lor.....for example, if he greet people or is polite he will earn a star and if he reach 15 stars, we will bring him to eat mac etc...hahaha

no choice, coz we realise tat scolding and beating him did nt work lor...
 
Hi Tam,

What a pleasant surprise. My son woke up this morning, asked for leapfrog's letter factory and started writing L, Q, H, F on his blank books. Shows that kids can translate the 'abstract' into concrete form if they want to. He's still playing almost 18/7.
 
welcome new mummies, u will definitely benefit from the other mummies here. I have learnt alot myself.

mumusings
heehee i battle the ants, roaches and lizards so often i think i can call myself the exterminator ohohoh! tough and tender cost $10.50 per bottle. one bottle of 473ml concentrated solution can be diluted to 6 bottles! depending on how conc u need, sometimes i dilute it further just for wiping the tabletop. however if i discover ants coming back, then I will not dilute so much

<hypy>
geez i didn't know cannot write "q" with a tail?!!? to me HYPY is only a tool! Oh dear why are they so rigid? pity the poor pupils. to me, writing the chinese characters accurately is more important.
 
Hello mummies,

"q" with no tail for HYPY- yep, my P1 gal also told me that teacher reinforces that in school too....I think it is a common practice- I also never heard of that before....

Also, now- exclamation mark in chinese- must be dot at the bottom- not zero- accroding to my P3 gal's teacher....

Hello Pink Gerbera- Gerbara is one of my favourite flowers!
 
Hello mummies,

"q" with no tail for HYPY- yep, my P1 gal also told me that teacher reinforces that in school too....I think it is a common practice- I also never heard of that before....

Also, now- exclamation mark in chinese- must be dot at the bottom- not zero- accroding to my P3 gal's teacher....

Hello Pink Gerbera- Gerbara is one of my favourite flowers!
 
Hi Diana,

Anyway, I "close shop" liao. Yes! My kids may have twins in future
happy.gif


Hi Yawn - Your DD is a good girl and listen to you. Your SIL/ Uncle jealous lor. That is why pass that kinda remarks.

Hi Mumusings,

Perhaps, next time parents "help" their kids serve NS? Heee.....Daddy so old still need to go marching.

HYPY - My DD1 just started learning HYPY at K2 and I did not hear her mention that the "q" cannot have tail leh. Gotta check with her what here HYPY teacher says.
 
welcome diana, pauleen, pink gebera,

helen, eeeekssss. ... spray is to kill it? i thot its just to make it slippery so that it cannot move or to stun it...

poohy, think ur DS' teacher is realy fussy! the most circle with a red pen lah.. deducting marks is so demoralising!

gebera, my favorite flowers too! hehehee... just not pink color.. i prefer the brighter yellow/orange... so who take care of ur twins?

yawn, my gal also no sense of urgency... very jia lat... esp when i am ftwm dont have time to cuddle her... i hope ur relatives when they are saying u bully ur DD for strapping/unstrapping ur shoes...

snowball, hahaha..think its s safe topic lah (the enrichment that they go to)... though i send my DD to quite a few enrichment, i feel very paiseh admiting it to not-so-close frens.... :p

mommies, last friday on leave..finally finish clocking my PV hours... now waiting for balloting.. provided MOE does not scrap it with their new announcement!
 
Hi Yawn/Snowball/Tam and all,

Yes, maybe even young CEOs next time need secretary/tutor/parents/maid to squeeze toothpaste, wear socks, check grammar and write reports. I hope we don't end up with a generation of emperor pu-yi and parents who take delight in spoiling their kids rotten
sad.gif
It's crazy many parents overdose on attention when their kids can fully utilise their limbs/intelligence.

Children are certainly precious but if we don't hone their skills for independent learning and imbue positive values, they will become trash when they grow up. Greedy, envious, impatient, take shortcuts and reliant on others for help!

Hi Tam,

I saw Zoob selling at a Metro toys fair. Is S$23 okay for a box of 55 parts?
 
Hi mummies,

Good Monday to all and thanks for the warm welcome.

Twins are double-edged swords. Yah, the advantages are 1 pregnancy ‘gao dim’, double the joys etc but also very tough to cope especially when our #1 was only 21 mths when the twins were born, so he was just starting his terrible two. There were times when hubby and I felt we were pushed to the limits of our endurance on so many levels.
Anyway, at the end of the day, we know we’re very blessed with 3 healthy kids so we just do what we gotta do lah!

Sometimes, I wished they will all grow up faster and be a little more independent but then reading your posts and also talking to friends and colleagues made me realize that once reached pri school is no joke and parents get so stressed. I don’t really hear this from parent friends with school going kids in the US or Europe – guess, it’s the price our kids have to pay for living in Asia.

mumusings,

I hate lizards myself but don’t have the courage to whack them with newspaper. One fell on my shoulder once during my schooling days and I still remember that sensation….yucks.
At our previous place, there was also a resident big fat lizard and we bought lizard traps to catch. For a few days, nothing then my mum told must put some strong smelling food. I put dried shrimps and next day, the bugger really fell for it.

Helen,

Yeah, I am reading and taking notes…hehe. I think I have potential to be a semi-tiger mum although my hubby is complete opposite. Will see how that pans out in the future…

Fairyprincess, Bloom,

Same here, love gerberas – hence the nick
happy.gif
They are such cheerful flowers!

My twins go to nanny’s place, together with my helper. Every morning, must do 2 pit-stops, first to nanny, then to DS1 CC, then to work. Mad rush.
 


Hi ladies!

On sat morning we are woke up by my gal who officially start to call kor kor. She sleep in the playpen when my boy sleep with us on our bed. So in the morning, she was standing and looking over from the playpen and keep calling kor kor, but the kor kor continue to zzz like nobody biz lor...and when she see me walking to her she will open her arm asking to be carrying and when I put her on our bed, she start to tap her kor kor trying to wake him up.

same thing happen on sunday and this morning too.

btw ware do u all stay? I am staying in AMK. N people ard me are asking me to check out Primary school for my 4 yr old boy le....do I really hv to start sourcing so early?
 
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