Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?

Joy,
DS requested to go for piano lesson himself. Now he's doing violin as well. Thou started piano earlier, but seems he's better in violin. Anyway, shall see how long his passion lasts ...


Yawn,
Do we have to take lessons with Yamaha in order to buy the books there?
Thanks.
 


fairyprincess.

no choice, monopoly is like that. I went through my gals grade 1 exam pieces and they looked difficult. I wonder how do mummies without music background ensure that the kids are practising correctly? Even for me, it has been difficult, cos I am quite impatient.

I think I m one of the most kiasu parent here, my gal attends 'i can read', piano, ballet, abacus, berries and swimming. Her schedule is even more packed than mine! But I figure rather than she stays at home and keeps 'pestering' me or helper to play with her or watch tv, might as well send her for classes.

No of sleep hours. I noticed that for my gal's age, she needs 12 hrs sleep??? But she refuses to nap, and sleep early...How??
 
Muffin- your gal schedule is indeed busy- one way is to have more kids then they can entertain each other, no need to go for so many classes...he he...

Eventhough I have complete grade 8 long long long ago, I still find grade 2 tough...you can tell I did not learn piano out of interest, it was forced upon me...so I have probably given most of it back...

AA- my gal also using some old books (my time!) for scales etc...so far, I just bought the exam pieces...maybe eventually have to buy more books?!!
 
fairy,
hahaha, i hv 3 kids n i find that i dun hv energy to handle her, thats y i send her for classes. else she will b fighting with my ds or disturbing my bb.

aa,
i paid 20 for everything, pieces n scales, n sight reading pieces
 
toto,

nice to see you here! Wow, Jake has started on piano. How about violin? S is still on violin and I am planning to send him and Joelle to a piano school next jan. And S will most likely go to NAFA violin next jan too... Now, simply too packed with S doing his grade 3 violin exam and concerts, I am up to my neck just practising with him in the evening.

On one-to-one time... frankly I am opposite of most people. I spend almost 90% of my evening time with S, the oldest. I had to coach him on the violin cos he practises 1-2 hours daily. By the time I am done, I struggle to read books for my younger ones ocassionally... most of the time I am just too exhausted. If I let S takes a break that day, I will be teaching him music theory. I am teaching him grade 1 theory personally.

But I teaches both older ones Chinese from si wu kwai du daily on the car. And coach S on his english reading using Peter & Jane series ocassionally. Josh is the truly "neglected" one.

I am just lucky that Josh is so independent and had learn to read fairly well on his own and Joelle had always been good in her reading. My hb teaches Joelle maths. They gave up on abacus recently... too lazy to do homework I think and finds it too boring. Like me, my kids do not seem to have any flair with maths.


tamarind,

I remember you ever mentioned that you would like to get the higher levels of "Basic Chinese 500". I was at PageOne (vivo) just now and they carries Level 1 to 3. Its a bit pricey there but I bought all 3 levels. The words are mostly found in "si wu kwai du" book 1 and 2. I was so happy to find them as they will give my kids more practise. Both of them just started on Book 3 so, the BC500 will give them repetitive practise in a more enjoyable way.

Really must thank you for recommending si wu kwai du.... I felt so happy to have it to guide me in raising my kids' chinese reading ability. Now Joelle can read simple chinese stories for me.

My PV application in rulang got rejected :~( took me a few days for the truth to sink in... I was quite sad cos it means S had to go to Pei Hwa Presbyterian. Its a great school, just that its further from our place and its a SAP school... my kids can sink there if I dun try to improve their chinese soon. Oh and it does not have a strings ensemble like rulang.
 
poohy,
How old is your S? Josh is the little one who is barely 2yo right? Can read already??? Amazing! my 2yo is still learning how to speak!
 
rona,

S is 5. yup Josh is 22months... but err actually by reading, for his age, I meant ability to read 2-3 words sentences, he has fairly good reading vocabulary from the "Your baby can read" dvd and from us reading for him, surprisingly he remembers most of the things we read for him. He knows all his phonics sound before 18months... so I am waiting for him to be ready before teaching him blends. Oh btw, he is also still learning how to speak. He started speaking only recent months, can speak in short sentences only.
 
music books

The 2011 exam pieces only published recently. Bought the chord book and sight reading much earlier. Can't remember how much I paid. No need to be yamaha students. Fill in an application form to apply for music card to qualify for 5% discount


poohy

Wow, 5 yo doing grade 3 is impressive!

Need to go for Nafa audition again this Nov?
Or they recognised their earlier offer to your ds? Nafa is taking him in at which grade?
 
muffin

How old is your girl?

I've nil music background so I just let my dd2 practices on her own in the afternoon. Then in the evening, hubby will spot check her fingering

She's only attending piano and drawing class. No other enrichments & no kindergarten

Wanted to add swimming but she's always down with cough, doctor said not advisable to learn swimming for her kind of 体质. I plan to send her for English enrichment next year when she goes P1
 
Hi Poohy, really admire how u can find time to practise violin with S everynight. J has attended yamaha junior for near to 3 months and he can play few pcs but needs more practise. He will be taking violin in school next yr. He is looking forward to that.

Your Josh is really such a talented boy! Nearly 2, and he can read. Joelle too! These are rewards of your hard work.

Re piano- I might consider getting one only if DS1 is really keen. Right now will make do with a casio key board.

Just met DS1's teachers at the PTM today. Seems like I need to do more in nurturing his Chinese. I got si wu quai du too. Maybe should read that with him daily.
 
Hello mummies

After reading thr the thread here, seems like most children are in the kindy or lower primary.Anyone has child that is in the upper primarY?Looks like my girl is the oldest here.Maybe my boy is in between.

I guess the young children these days are really talented.

Yawn
Your hubby is really hardworking, making effort to point out her fingering etc.For us, we dont, we let her do her own.But , come to academic, she is not that indept.Maybe I din train her well.

Poohy,
Grade 3 at the age 5 is fantastic.He must have loves piano very much.Maybe u should groom him into a great pianist.
 
joy

I demanded he sits with her. No choice, I totally clueless. Even when she plays incorrectly, I also say 'good good good'. So cannot rely on this tone deaf mommy
lol.gif
 
yawn,

his violin teacher enrol him for grade 3 exam. But frankly he is ok for the practical and he had already remembered most of the scale requirement though he just started to learn scales 2 months back. The problem is his sight reading which is ok but I am not sure whether he can do well in grade 3 level for sight reading... and he has never learn theory untill last week when I decided to start with him. So lots of catching up on those now.

I know nafa do theory parallel to practical. Thus, we are in dillemma on which grade to enrol him in for nafa. If we take theory into account, we should go in at grade 1 to allow him to build a good foundation. But, he will have to hold his horses for the time being for practical. We are hoping to discuss with the nafa teachers during the audition to decide what would be best for him. I would not want a situation where he has to work so hard to catch up with theory, theory is not that easy for him since he had always been suzuki trained for the last 2 years. Theory and scales and sight reading were never taught or emphasized till 2 months back when he had a new teacher.

and yup, he needs to audition again.

btw, your dd2 has no kindergarten? Then are you home-schooling her?

toto,

which school does J goes that offer violin?

for Josh and Joelle, I think they naturally have a stronger memory or phonetic awareness. S had never been able to read as well as them at the same age.

Some of S's recent recording... he just started on shifting so its a little shaky...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPsFabuAVaA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Dl2heDeliw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23avU_RCg7I
 
joy,

S plays violin
happy.gif
Ya he loves music and instruments since he was a toddler. I hope he can play to the best of his potential... Given his character, I dun have high hope he will become a great violinist though cos being a great musician takes a lot more than pure talent or hardwork... charisma, appeal, confidence etc all plays important part (I feel)
happy.gif
 
poohy

Is he going for grade 3 exam this year or next March? My understanding hor, once he joins Nafa in Jan 2011, according to school policy he would not be allowed to sit for exam in March. You might wanna verify this with Nafa. If grade 3 exam this year then no issue

We had similar misalignment too. According to her progress chart in Seimpi, she would have more or less completed grade 2 by now and commencing on grade 3, preparing for grade 3 exam next March. Now she's still stuck in grade 1 in Nafa leh. But her foundation is definitely much stronger than before especially her fingering. So Nafa does have its merits

Hehe, I'm not actively homeschooling her lah. In the morning, she will usually read or do some activity books. I need to delicate more time to my elder girl so not much time for her. After my dd1 goes to school, she will practice piano while I mark her work. Idle a little. Very relax lor. I think I'm not maximising her time, then again maybe just let her enjoy term 4 before she goes P1 next year. She commented she's very free
lol.gif
 
yawn

I roughly knows nafa's strict restriction on private engagement from our last encounter. He is actually sitting for trinity grade 3 exam in december. We were told just 1 month ago by his teacher so now busy preparing. I would be very happy if they allow him to go to grade 3 or 4 violin and work separate track on his theory.

its nice to homeschool... you are really diligent
happy.gif
I wish I can homeschool my kids too but really no time. I only can coach them in addition to school. Anyway their current school is "expert" in learning through play... not academic ... they are very good with play ;)
 
toto,

how's mindchamps? is it good? I considered them for Josh too. But he is currently attending a montessori playgroup near my home. I like the fact that they build a lot on his fine motor skills through their montessori activities... and they teaches phonic sound since 18 month! Montessori is really different! I wish my 2 older ones had this type of education in the past... but the centre is new so in the past, no such opportunity.
 
yawn,

glad to know that nafa strengthens the foundation. I hope they do that for S too and he will hopefully breeze through next year with them if they want him to go back to grade 1 or 2. Then I will have more time to build his academic which is not strong because of the amount of time he had been spending on his violin.

Is nafa piano tough? I heard they are.
 
poohy

84 went for audition, 9 selected. I suppose it's quite tough to get in, even tougher to survive the course.

My dd2 kanna scolded by teacher every week, super demoralising. She's so scared of her teacher that sometimes her fingers shivered during lesson time and this obviously affected her performance.

Very unhealthy to stress a child this much leh. I've been trying to mentally prepare her to switch to another music school but my dd said she doesn't want to quit Nafa. Of course if kanna kick out then no choice lah. If she scraps through, she would definitey want to continue. Sigh...

In my humble opinion, piano should just be a hobby, not a stress zone. Academic is more important
 
Yawn
Well said, piano should be a hobby and not something that is a stress kind of thing.Have a friend, both kids in nafa, but withdraw after some time, cos too stressful, but eventually the big one finished grade 8 by pri six.She was telling me that music doesnt help at all, cos grade 8 is not good enough for dsa.Eventually she used her psle results and get into NYGH.Now, her second one, finished grade 8 and stopped there at pri five,cos also going to use academic to go into desiered school.That was what she told me when I was rushing my girl for her grades.Now we slow down.
 
Poohy,
I think your kids are really smart! your Josh is only 22 months old and he can read!!! Mine can't speak yet and he is 24 months now. He is still picking single sound words. Def not short sentence!!! And when I try to get him to sit down to read with me, he will push me away and then he will run awAy to hide. There's one thing he does very well, he knows how to operate the tv and video player very well! Oh and he knows how to play angry bird on the iPhone and score well too! :p
 
yawn,

indeed it should not be that stressful. Reason why we wanna go nafa is because I cant seem to find a really really good teacher that will also fit into my schedule. I hope to find a good teacher in nafa, else I already have other music school in mind as 2nd choice.
 
poohy

hehe, most likely Nafa won't 'fit' your schedule. You gonna fit theirs. Class timing & teacher is allocated to you, parents got no say hor

Which other music school do you have in mind?
 
yawn,

I know roughly how they work from our last enrolment. The theory class and practical classes are on saturday so at least we can make it. Most of the good teachers are teaching lower grades on weekdays and either dun teach on weekends or reserve it.
 
Hi mommies,
Here in China there are 3 day of holidays for mid autumn festival ! I have been relaxing and shopping :p

joy,
I also believe in letting people learn from their mistakes. Grandparents will learn their lesson when they are old and weak, see if any grandchildren will look after them.

mumusings,
My boy did not stay still at his naughty corner at first, no matter how many times he tried to move away, I just moved him back. After many times, he learned the lesson, no fence needed. Yes we need to find an empty corner, otherwise he would just occupy himself by playing with anything he could find. He even pretended to cry until he vomited, we just ignored him.

I do believe in punishing a child, but caning is not an effective method of punishment. I usually think about what my boy likes most, then I remove that from him, that is sure to make him very unhappy.



aa,
Many people tell me that China is cheap, but that is not true ! I am not even in Shanghai or Beijing. I usually spend about 20 yuan for each meal, which is what I spend in Singapore. It is very cheap only if we eat at roadside vendors, but I could not stand it, and I really don't enjoy eating at dirty restaurants. So I usually eat at mid-range restaurants.

I have been shopping a lot, both online and in the department stores. Even mainland China brands are not cheap, a few hundred yuan for a piece of clothing or a bag in the stores. But I really dislike clothes by China brands, they are usually too colourful and too frilly. So I ended up still buying American brands, it is not cheap, but I managed to find a sweater and a pair of shoes at a good discount.

Service here is surprisingly good, most of the time. I find that the Chinese sales staff are really good at selling, their advantage is that they only know one language, so they are very good at it. They can express themselves so well. Actually bilingualism in Singapore has become our disadvantage, the large majority of our students are not very good in English or Chinese. Although all our students speak fluent English, the truth is that they don't speak as well as people in USA or UK. Our students' standard of Chinese is worse than primary school kids in China. I am really quite disappointed. We really cannot depend on our schools to teach languages.



toto,
I am learning a lot from other parents in this forum too
happy.gif


I have a lot of free time after work, thanks to my mother and my maid. I guess mommies have to prioritize, teaching our kids is top priority for me. I do neglect other stuff, like I am too lazy to put on make up or even skin care products, so my skin is not in very good condition. I only managed to keep myself clean and neat :p I also need to lose 5 kg, but could not find the time to exercise :p

poohy,
I am glad to know that you find those resources helpful
happy.gif


May be you can consider moving closer to Pei Hwa ?
 
Hi Tam

I believe in using psle scores to enter a good school.Unless u are in the gep.Even using music and sport(unless u are top in singapore,then chance is good),u will be spending many hours on that cca and ended up studies being neglected.

Really depends on what one is looking at.

Cane
I also dont use cane these days, I use FEATHER DUSTER to frighten my kids.It works so far.
 
joy,

me too. I believe in using good scores or GEP to enter secondary school. With music enrichment, you will have to take music as a subject and its very difficult to drop that subject. It really only suits those who really really want to pursue music as a career cos you will be spending quite a lot of time on it. On top of that, you will be in a competitive environment with high expectations in good schools, without being good in academic, all other subjects will not be done well and end up, losing confidence.
 
If my child can focus on using good scores to get into sec school- I will be very happy already...using other skills like piano etc- the child must be brillant! I cannot imagine studying for PSLE and grade 8 piano in the same year- that is a lot of stress on a 12 year old!

Tam- many clothes by china brands are not attractive to s'poreans- you are right- too colourful and way too frilly with bows and lace etc etc...but I love to shop in chinese dept stores, cos occasionally, you do find nice pieces that are suitable for s'pore fashion...and the range of work shoes, esp leather ones is much greater and nicer compared to s'pore...

The place to buy cheaper clothes are the wholesale markets (called "pi1 fa1 zhong1 xing1")- if you can find such in your city, you should take a look- but be prepared for typically cramped locations, messy goods and need to do lots of bargaining...
 
Poohy,
your boy really good at his violin.
shall show DS tonight ... hoping it will motivate him to practise harder :)


Tam,
China is really not as cheap as what pple thinks or it used to be anymore. The last trip I had to Wuhan, a simple meal for 3 pple in middle range restaurant actually costs us around S$60 to S$80 (with no orders of fish items).

Shopping wise not sure as the places I visited is normally way away from city centre, more to industrial zone. The only shopping centre I remembered going is in Shanghai, which are very costly.
 
Tam,
Re. Naughty corner, do u think my almost 2 year old dd will understand what is naughty corner? I tried, but she either wanders off, or cried so hard, I was concerned that she might be traumatized by being left alone at a corner. When did u start with J? I'm still finding a way to "tackle" dd2. She's very different from dd1, who gave me (almost) no trouble when she was younger. Cane don't work for my dd2. Her threshold for pain is super high. Now I use the cane to frighten her.

Joy,
Seems like your gal is one of the older ones amongst our kiddos. Do share your parenting experience with us. Agree with you that making the grades is more important. If my dd2 gets transferred successfully, she will be attending a school with affiliation. However, I'm hoping that she will do well enough in PSLE to qualify for an even better school. Btw, how do u coach your gal in science? Do u send your gal to other academic enrichment classes?
 
aly_nat,
If she wonders off, just carry her back to the corner. You have to keep doing it. Crying very hard does not mean that a child is traumatised, even a 2 year old child knows how to use crying to get what they want. My boy cried for over 2 hours at the naughty corner before, no problem after that, and he learned that crying is useless.

Note that a naughty corner does not mean that you lock a child a alone in a room. We usually put my boy in a corner of the living room, he can see that everyone is still around, but no one talked to him or played with him. We have to be really firm when using the naughty corner.

After 4 years old, we don't need to put him at the naughty corner anymore.

Yes some kids have very high pain threshold, they are not afraid of being caned. There must be something that the child is afraid of losing, like her favourite TV, outing, etc, just remove that as punishment.

joy,
OIC. I think that music should be for relaxation only, don't want my kids to be too stressful learning music.


Fairyprincess, aa,
I bought a lot of stuff from taobao, the prices are a lot cheaper, and they deliver to my doorstep
happy.gif


Do you know of any cheap ways of shipping from China to Singapore ? My baggage allowance is only 20kg, now I am quite worried that I cannot bring all those things back :p
 
Hi Aly_nat,

My 2yo / 4younderstand what it meant by being put in the naughty corner. Like what Tam said, no matter how many times they moves away or cry very loudly, I will still put them back. I will tell how many minutes she will be there. I wind the alarm clock and place it nearby. I tell them that they can only move after the alarm clock rings. If they make somemore noise, I will extend the time of punishment (the alarm clock will take longer to ring).

It can be difficult initially, but, eventually they will learn their lesson. Nowadays, I use the cane less. Taking away privileges is also effective. I also mentioned in my earlier thread that I use the star-award system when my kids behave well - award 1 star when they are good & take away 2 stars when they are naughty. I give them small rewards when they attain a certain no. of stars.

My elder gal now ask when we are going to take plane for holidays. We have booked our trip for yr end. But, I tell her she need to collect 50 stars before I plan for our next holiday. She is working hard towards achieving that
happy.gif
 
fairy, joy

Me too. I think definitely cannot count on piano for DSA. They are just too many kids learning musical instruments, unlike our times, so it's no longer a competitive advantage

I think doing well in Maths Olympiad and ICAS probably carry more weight for DSA than a grade 8 in any instrument


Tamarind

I've not been to China before!
Me mountain tortoise
lol.gif
 
Tam, Snowball,
How long do u keep them in the naughty corner. And for what kind of "crime"? My dd2 is the very bo chap kind, but ok, I'll try out the method.

With my dd1, taking away privileges don't work. I've confiscated her toys before, and she was ok with it. After a while, she stopped asking for them. She was 5/6 yo then.

Start of this year, I took away her TV time becos she started to chew her finger nails. Something she never did before!! And I cannot tahan the sight of "finger chewing". To me, it's a disgusting habit! I told her strictly no TV until she grow her nails. Took her a month or 2 to kick the habit n grow her nails. Meanwhile, she spent her free time drawing and reading. Now she seemed to hv lost her interest in TV. And she has kicked the habit. Hooray!

Yawn,
Share your "failure"?
 
hello mummies

poohy - DS1 is at barker rd kindy right now. he attends montessori after his main class.

re naughty corner - this worked well for my twins. whenever my DS2 did something wrong, he will automatically walk to the naughty corner with his head down and sit there. i will let him sit there for about 1 min then go over to explain to him what he did wrong and make him promise me never to do that again. after that, we hug and make up. for my DD, i do not really need the naughty corner, cos when she makes a mistake and i just raise my voice slightly, she will cry and she knows she is in the wrong. sometimes she will walk away and hide in a corner. maybe that is her naughty corner.

i have never used the cane on my kids. i just have to say the word 'cane' and my DS1 will be frighten.

Tam - you must be enjoying the shopping in China. i bet you must have stocked up on lots of teaching materials for your kids. i just ordered the complete collection of si wu kuai du via dang dang. i just started book 1 with my DS1. my DS1 has no clue when it comes to Chinese. i need to work harder in this aspect.

I agree that music and dance/sport should be a relaxing activity. Think I am the one who is stressed when my DS1 does not do well in music/swim class. so far, DS1 loves all the enrichment i planned for him. he is at the stage of exploration now and is willing to try anything new.
 
tam, i really envy you - you have ur mum and maid to help you out. for me, i am always busy with caregiving in the evenings, pick the twins from CC, reach home at 6 pm, feed dinner, shower, feed fruits, play/read with kids, then bedtime at 8 pm for all 3 kids. from 6 - 8 plus is my busiest time. and i have to manage them with only my helper. mum does not come over to help me anymore.

i foresee it will be worse next yr, as my twins will be in N1, and they will be attending the AM session hence will be home abt 11.30. will take it one step at a time.

aly_nat - i read the naughty corner time should be abt 1 min per year of the child's age.
 
toto,

barker kindy has violin as enrichment? so good? Which montessori do you go to? I am looking for a good montessori near my workplace but I dunno any.
 
Hi Tam/Joy/Aly/Yawn/Toto,

Yes, some old people will sadly only learn when they are (so sorry to have to write this) bedriddened and in need of company and consolation. It’s usually too late by then to see clearly who’s filial and who’s acting all these years.

On Naughty Corner method

My son too will pretend to cry/choke/injure himself. Unfortunately I have no empty corner in my flat, which was why he ended up smashing my fan. He’s a little better these few days after trying a combination of methods. What’s most important is that mother and father MUST agree beforehand which methods to use and not contradict each other in front of the kid. Once they know there’s disagreement, they’ll figure out who’s the likely ‘saviour’ and there’ll be no end to this vicious cycle.

My husband doesn’t see the need to buy feather duster. Plastic clothes hanger is scary looking enough. Since there’s no naughty corner, it’s now NAUGHTY SOFA. He’s slowly learning to get his act together by going to the sofa to either rest or sip water. No getting off or jumping about.

To share my lunch with all of you...

4534618.jpg


I am the real mountain tortoise here. By mistake, I ended up at Punggol Jetty this morning. First time seeing Johor from this part of Singapore (picture taken from the bus).

http://mumusings.blogspot.com/2010/09/living-in-singapore-one-can-never-get.html

http://mumusings.blogspot.com/2010/09/food-steamed-clams-and-pan-fried-cod.html
 
Hi Aly-nat,

Dont think I can give good advice as am still learning, and she is only pri five this year.

I guess for every level,from pri one to six, parents are always worrying.Just a gauge, in terms of academic, from pri one to pri three, full marks for all subjects can be done.From pri four, math and sci possible to hit full marks, and for languages high 90s.

There again, really depends on the child's capability and parent's expectation.

So far, am fine with my girl learning journey.On top of it, have to cope with her changing moods, pretty stress from school I guess.Young kids like them doesnt really know how to express their stress.So, as parents we can only just guide as they walk thr their journey.

I guess playing piano is a form of relaxation for her.She will cool herself down by playing the piano.She is not as good as others in terms of others, just grade 7 this year, but am fine with it.

Just one cent of my contributions.
 
toto,

are the twins going to montesorri also next year? Your kids so well behaved, go to bed at 8pm. For me, the evening duties just started at around 7:30pm and 8pm, they are just having dinner. After that is bath and then violin, and whatever.

I wish at times we still live in the era where we dun need to even know to read anything before entering P1. And I remembered how I blur blur passed through PSLE without even knowing its significance (or not). If we still live in those times, I can have more kids... but now, trying to have enough time to teach them something is a struggle especially for ftwm....
 
Mumusings,
You made cooking sound so simple! But it doesn't work that way for me. Your lunch sure like yummy!

Nice shot from the jetty. Just out of curiosity, do u always carry your camera with you?

Joy,
Ya, playing the piano is a form of relaxation for my dd, too. But she gets frustrated when she cannot master a new piece, especially now that she's preparing for her grade 2 exam. She is rather weak in her sight reading. To me, grade 7 at P5 is great! Not forgetting her accomplishments in the academic aspect. You must be proud of your dd.

Toto,
Thanks. Let's see if my dd can stay there for 2 minutes
happy.gif


Mumusings/joy,
Any advice which type of potato and sweet potato do I buy for BBQ?
 


joy,

ya, your dd is doing really well, grade 7 at p5 is quite good already especially since she is also doing well in her academic.
 
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