Any Mommies in mid-late 30s or over 40 with small children?


Hi natsu

My boy attending childcare since he was 20 months old. I needed the time to help my girl who has special needs. He's okay with that, tho sometimes I feel quite guilty packing him off to school... Last Friday decided to take both out - IKEA and then swimming. They had great fun!
 
Hi tamarind

Thanks for your reply! Will be checking out the Peter and Jane keyword series. Hope to learn more from you about encouraging kids to read.

Yes, I try to take a short break in the pm, but only possible if my boy naps.
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Hi cowandchick

Wow, so nice.
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I have brought my son swimming a few times with hb but not by myself. Haven't ventured very far with outings cos my boy doesn't like to sit in the stroller at times, so a bit hard to run after him. Is it the IKEA at Alexandra? The last time I was there, they were still renovating. How is the new play area?
 
Hi Gingerbelle, where are you putting your 5yo? currently mine is in a 3hr kindergarten but don't think he learns a lot there. i've to put him in phonics enrichment (his kindergarten does not offer this) and mandarin class with berries at orchard.

now i've decided to put my gal in full time childcare where the enrichment classes will be done in the afternoons. Then i don't have to send her to enrichment classes on weekends. I think its more productive anyway.

will have no choice but to leave the new born with my maid when he is born. luckily maid has been with me for almost 2.5 years, quite ok.

good that they are giving more child care subsidy, else my full time child care will burn a hole in our pockets! but i think i will miss out on the extra 4 weeks of maternity leave... my EDD is 30 Aug... if delay a bit, will still be 1st week of Sept... i think this time round, they will make it mandatory for births from 1 Oct onwards again like in 2004. don't think my company will give me the extra 4 weeks out of goodwill, especially if they are not able to claim my small salary from the govt.
 
Hi Rona, my boy is also 5 and is also in a 3hr kindergarten. it's actually a bit difficult to quantify how much they learn there. do the school give homework/worksheet or let the kids bring back the worksheet they did in school?
 
hi all

1st time in these thread

Me now 38yrs old, have 3 kids #1 going to b 5 this Oct, #2 will b 3 on 30aug & 3mths old bb gal...2 boys & a gal. Me a FTWM......

For my 5yr old boy schooling at PCF Admiralty K1 walking distance only

rona
so u due on 30aug??? same as my #2 born on 30aug 2003....hope you have a pleasant n smooth delivery...
 
Danryan, thanks. for the 1st 2, i'm like a week late, gave birth at 41 weeks. Also like you, 2 boys and a gal, boy-gal-boy...

no chance for the 16 weeks ML liao. heard all the enhance baby schemes is for kids born on or after 1 Jan 2008.

Rottveg, no homework for my boy... think they have worksheet in school, but we will only know what kind of worksheet only at end of 1st term and 3rd term. then the teacher told me that they learn nos 1 to 20.. no addition no subtraction etc etc. my boy still cannot read...
 
Tamarind, where can I get the Ladybird Keyword Series? I think I have to drill my boy a bit on this. My gal likes to read, but I'm afraid I'm not doing a lot of work there... most of the time, too tired... guilty as charge...
 
rona
u not alone....my son danial also still cannot read leh...and his hand writing also some big and some small...

me boy-boy-gal then stop liao ligation already hahaha
 
Hi, Im new here in this thread. So happy to see so many mummies with 3 kids. would like to learn from you all how is the childcare arrange for 3 young kids. Mine is 4y+,2y+ & 4 months. any good childcare
 
Daryan, Yaya,
Welcome
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rona,
You can find it at any Popular Bookshop, Times Bookshop or Pageone at vivocity. You only need to let him read one page a day, don't need to drill. He will improve steadily and quickly
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Also, it is best that you start teaching him phonics.

Here's my blog about teaching my kids phonics and reading.
http://tamarindvillage.blogspot.com/2008/02/reading.html

I realized that even though my girl has not learn Hanyu Pinyin yet, but because she has a good foundation in English phonics, she actually can figure out how to read Chinese words using hanyu pinyin
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Phonics and hanyu pinyin have many similarities.
 
gosh Tamarind, you are a very good teacher! A very dedicated and passionate parent, your kids are very lucky.

My boy, going to be 5 in Sept, still cannot read. Put him in Zoophonics so now he is learning to blend. My gal is 28 months now and she is in Zoophonics Toddlers class, she knows the letter sounds but I think she can go further then that cos she learnt the sounds when she is there for 4 months. I think I may want to put her in the Montessori Phonics Class, but have to wait until she is 3 years 6 months? Can you advise me what I can do to help her learn more?
 
i'm going to popular to buy the books tomorrow lunch time. got to start doing something. Else i don't know how he is going to catch up later... maybe read the books to both of them together??
 
Hi Rona, Rootveg & Danryan

My boy also 5 can read (not all words) but sometimes he surprises me by reading words off the subtitles on TV. Words that I didn't know he can read.

He was in PCF originally but the teachers kept changing like 6 teachers in a year and he didn't want to go to school. I changed his school in the end. He is at Clementi Woods Kindergarten (3 hrs per day) now, it is run by a church and they do conduct optional enrichment classes (1 hr each class) in the afternoon. He has been attending maths, english and chinese enrichment classes after school. He comes home with homework about 3 times a week which he can do on his own as the teachers would have told him how to do it in school. Recently he started to have spelling tests.

He likes his school and teachers (The teachers have remained the same throughout the year, as promised by the school when I first enquired.) so much now that he will keep asking me can he go to school now well before school hours. Unfortunately, I am going back to work and no longer a SAHM so I will be letting him attend full day childcare come Nov. Had my new maid been reliable I would have continue to leave him there. I think a good school (environment and teachers) are really important in stimulating the kids' interest.

I also do my part by buying fun activities book for him. Like finding words in the word puzzles, crack the codes and find out what the sentence is, he picks up new words along the way. He really enjoys doing them.

Yes, I was so happy to hear that they are increasing the subsidy! Cos my gal's infant care cost $1,300 and my son's $900 before subsidy. At least I can shave off $900 with the subsi next year. Phew!
 
Hi Mummies,

First time in this thread. I'm a FTWM with a 4+yr old son. He is turning 5 coming Oct.

My boy currently attends PCF, neighbourhood phonics and keyboard @ Mandeville.

Saw some of the mummies posting on Peter & Jane. Just to share, some popular stores carry special sets. Eg book 1A to 2C. It's cheaper if you are going to buy new sets. I've bought it at Compass Pt Popular store. My boy is doing 1C. He can recognise the words but need some coaching. Hoping to get him to read more. And he dislikes writing. OMG, his handwriting will shock you. :p
 
hi mummies

i've been reading story books to my kids almost every nite...Danial 5yrs old can read a few simple words....those books which all pages have same repeating words....my both sons speaks well in English but comes to Malay lil bit susah....

Moo
Danial also don't like writing especially spelling in words....prefer coloring and doing his self-study book by match the answer using ruler or yes or no answer only...alamak. The most subject he likes is mathematics...
 
Hi Danryan,

My son does not like coloring or self-study. So I'm trying out a reward book scheme. give him a star sticker when he completes his handwriting/reading/practicses his keyboard, hopefully to engage his interest and pride. But then after a few stars, he says he can do away with the sticker so he no need to read/write/practises his keyboard. I keep reminding him. Once he gets 10stars, he'll get to eat his favorite Ben & Jerry ice-cream or outing etc. Headache. But I'll persist.
 
Hi Gingerbelle, where do you send you son to? $900 a mth with $300 subsidy sounds ok to me. Maybe i can go check out to see if it suits my gal, as i will be sending her next year to ease the burden of my caregivers. I'm staying around the ulu padang area.

my son does not like to read or self-study. His main purpose of going to school is to interact with his fellow classmates and play with them. When he comes back from school, its to play with his sister. The only time he can sit down and be quiet is when he wants to draw and color... <sigh> although he has simple spelling test every week, 4 3-letter words, he doesn't comprehend and register that it is to help him recognise words. So when I tried to write very simple sentence and ask him to read, he gives me a blank stare, even its words he has learnt from spelling before. He's not stupid, just very uninterested in learning academically...

now, i'm worried that my gal will be like that too. So, I'm putting her in full time child care next year. kill two birds with one stone!

Danryan, who is looking after your kids? I'm also thinking of ligation... compared to other types of prevention methods? did you go for malay massage after the birth of your gal? anyone that you can recommend?
 
rona
b4 i gave birth to my gal, i hired a maid on April...i'm not so worried coz my mom all the while staying wif me. B4 dat my mom the one who look after my both sons....

yes, i did the malay massage. Was told by doc after one week than can massage lor...using Aunty Maznah from Bedok. All the oil and tablet jamu all she do it herself...she learnt from her own late mom...this is my 1st time i'm using her which i found her contact from this SM Forum.....for my 1st 2 deliveries, my so-called grandma (my mom aunty)....she was at the Mekkah when i was on confinement.
 
hi gingerbelle,
yes! i totally agree on the teacher part. regardless of school, teachers play a very crucial role in the learning of a child. Good teachers are hard to come by. hope that ur boy will adapt smoothly and quickly to the full day childcare.

hi moo, danryan,
with regards to writing, i also have to constantly remind my ds to write the alphabets in the same size, close together and on the line. takes a lot of practice.. when i am around, i will enforce and his handwriting looks better.. but in school, it'll be a different story. :S maybe you can get your boy to do simple writing everyday.. maybe just 1 or 2 sentences a day.. takes abt 5 - 10min? simple sentences like "apples are red" "lemons are yellow"... you can download/create your own sentences and printout 'worksheets' from this website.. http://www.handwritingforkids.com/handwrite/manuscript/pictwords/index
 
i bought the Ladybird Keyword Series first set just now at Popular. Got this 15% discount voucher. If any of you need it, pls PM me, will send it via email attachment to you. I also got the Level 2 book set, my kids like the stories.

Tamarind, i will start with 1a for both of them. not too stressful, just one or two pages a day. I really got to try harder... you are my motivation!

Danryan, can you take the jamu tablets and breastfeed at the same time? Does the jamu tablets help in losing inches? This is my 3rd and last one and I really want to go back to my old size. My tummy stretched until cannot stretched... went to check up yesterday, at 38 weeks 4 days and the measurement of my baby is already at 40 weeks. my first two were 3.9kg and 4.2kg...

tired...
 
I am putting them both in Agape Little Uni at NTU Alumni Club. Near Bouna Vista. Not much choice here cos infant care is very limited at Clementi area.

I ligated after my second child right after my c-section. I had a very difficult time carrying my gal, my pelvic bone almost gave way. I had to do bed rest all the time. Getting old so I didn't want to take any risk of having a third one. Although some mummies say the menses flow increases after ligation, for me it was the opposite, my menses flow was slightly lesser than before. Sometimes when I look at my cute little gal, I do wonder if I should have another kid..but when I think of pregnancy, childcare, time and financial issues, I wake up to my senses.
 
Hi to mummies teaching their kids phonics,
I did a simple powerpoint based on Tamarind's word list, can save paper....
<center><table border=1><tr><td>
mime_msppt.gif
words ending with "op"
op.pps (37.9 k)</td></tr></table></center>
 
JessChan,
Your powerpoint slide is very good !
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Do you mind if I copy your idea and include it in my blog ? I will credit to JessChan
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I will be adding more words to my blog.

rona,
I also started with only one or two pages at the beginning. As my boy progresses, there are more words on the page. Now he is reading book 5a, which has about 100 words a page, 8 months after we started book 1a. We only read 1 page a day. I think the most important thing is to be consistent
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gingerbelle,
I also ligated after my second baby. Felt very relieved after that.

Now that the government announces the new benefits, like 4 months maternity leave, $4000 cash, etc, any regrets ?
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I don't regret my decision at all.

Any other mommies feel encouraged by the benefits and decide to have more babies ?
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rona
your bb weight very big figure leh...
the jamu is for healing your inside and get rid of the foul smell. The massage lady using cloth binder from below yr buttock to your upper stomach....u can go back to yr old size but don't depend on the jamu only...u have to excercise lil bit also lah....when i gave birth #2 my weight from 67kg during preg...then can go down to 52kg...now i still have to go down 6 more kilos..wor...

gingerbelle
Did my ligation on June after giving birth to my #3..rest for 6 hrs and next morning do the op..

u had ligation also?? can share something?? i had Urine Tract Infection (UTI) recently. The pain goes from my abdominal to my kidney area at my back...the pain can't describe....then on medication for 1 week....my bb marsyha unable to BF so pity her....after a week ok already then again yesterday feel the pain again...

is there any side effect when ligation?? sorry to ask u.

thanks in adavance.

yesterday at my son PCF they sold quite cheep story books...my hubby bought some for him
 
tamarind

i don't feel like dat also...we talking abt 20 to 30 yrs later leh....1st few yrs ok lah have all these benefits after that on yr own wor...
 
I'm happy, cos the 4 weeks extra maternity leave will include me... thought it was a gone case but the 1st-time MTB and 2nd-time MTB are really very dedicated in their cause, and they got it...

So good also, I will have extra few weeks to look after the kids. My boy will be on school hols also, so maybe can be more consistent in getting him (and my gal) to read.

Surprising, the boy is not resisting the idea of reading. I read 1a yesterday with my gal and one Level 2 story book with my boy. I also bought Kate and Tom books 2 and 3. As variety, I bought a simple Math assessment book, nos 1-10, with addition and subtraction. After reading, my boy just grab it and started doing it himself. I think he did 10 pages. Maybe he is better with Math??? but only nos 1-10 lah, no big deal... Nevertheless, I was happy about it.
 
sleepy resolutions, if your kids are in childcare, then you can enjoy the higher subsidies. Your hb will enjoy the child care leave too.

I do believe that kids with SAHMs better behave and more obedient then our kids, cos mums are still the best caregiver no matter what. If I can, I will also like to be SAHM, but I can't due to my circumstances.

After my 3rd one, even they give me a year maternity leave with full pay, I will not have a 4th one. Too tired and I still need to save for our retirement, beside saving for the 3 kids education... too heavy... sometimes i wonder how our parents did it when their salary is even lesser then ours.
 
nope, my kids aren't in childcare. Defeat the purpose if I still send them to childcare while I'm home

I already SAHM before giving birth to my dd2. No maternity leave of course since I wasn't working

Frankly speaking, if willing to go to the extent of giving up career, cannot think of dollar &amp; cents anymore. Everyday few hundreds dollars opportunity cost leh, heartpained. So I stopped thinking about my monetary loss long ago

surviving on a single income is even tougher. Have to save for 2 persons retirement &amp; kids education

so govt should extend more reliefs or better still rebates to SAHMs' spouse. Now only miserable $1.5K wife relief &amp; QCR

while working moms get ECR, grandparent relief, maids relief &amp; higher childcare subsidy. Govt intent is crystal clear, after giving birth, go back to work, leave the baby with maid or sent to childcare.

So those who chose to be SAHMs kanna penalised lor
 
Danryan

my 2nd maid, my friend's daughter (only barely 2 months old then) and 2 of my nieces had urinary tract infection before. One of my niece had it bad enough to be hospitalised for a short period. It's quite common for females to get it because of our shorter urinary tract as compared to males. It's not a side effect from ligation. It's just some bacteria which should be gone if you take the prescribed antibiotics given by the GP. But don't take it too lightly either, because if you don't take the antibiotics dutifully, it can damage your kidneys, if the infections get there. Having said that, don't worry, my 2nd maid (23 years old), my friend's daughter (also hospitalised then cos too little) and both my nieces (19 and 21) have since recovered. So just see doc, take medication and don't worry ya!
 
Tamarind

Me no regrets either..ha..it's a relief for me too knowing that I will never be pregnant again. I happily packed my preggy clothes and donated them to salvation army.

those incentives don't work on me. The baby bonus is not even enough to cover my gal's medical fees, infant and child care fees for a year.

Sleepy

The govt really wants us to return to work. There is no incentive for SAHM at all. I feel disadvantaged being a SAHM.

Anyway, I'm returning to work soon. Not because of the govt though, just a selfish part of me wanting something and some time off to myself.
 
Danryan,
$4000 probably enough to buy milk powder and diapers for 1 - 2 years ? I think the most important factor is childcare arrangement. Childcare centre fees are not cheap even after subsidy, 2 kids will easily come up to $1000 a month. I think that the government should give more CC subsidy.

sleepy, gingerbelle,
I agree that SAHMs do not have much benefits. Actually if they are really serious about boosting birth rates, all they have to do is to pay SAHMs their last drawn salary every month, until the child is 6 years old hahaha

I heard that they are considering giving pension to those who have kids ? This is a good idea too. But they certainly must include all mommies including us who have kids earlier
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rona,
You will not only get 4 months, you will also get $4000 cash also, right ?
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Sleepy,

I suppose the govt can't give SAHMs much benefits because they can't openly encourage women to quit and look after their children. That will have a great impact on the economy for a country with small population.

I personally feel that it makes more sense to help redesign jobs so that mothers can work part time from home. I think most mothers just find it difficult to juggle between work and home and it is not easy to find work that can fit into their schedule. In fact with the new 4 mth maternity leave, companies will find it difficult to fill the gaps ...
 
Jesschan,
I agree with you. Actually with the 4 month maternity leave, women who are at "child bearing age", will find it more difficult to look for jobs. I have heard of women who complain that the prospective employers ask them questions like "Do you plan to get pregnant ?".

I think companies, especially those smaller ones, are more willing to hire foreign talent than Singaporean women
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Malaysian or other foreign women have a better chance of getting jobs, because they get only 2 months maternity leave.

Previously I had difficulty looking for a job, because both my kids are so young. I get questions like "Who is looking after your kids?", etc. Then when I interviewed for my current job, my kids are already 5 years old and 4 years old, I was told that "My kids are at a good age". I think they mean that they are easier to care for now.
 
Tamarind,

It can be quite disruptive to the work flow if a company has too many women on maternity leave. I am saying that because I was in middle management myself before I quit. At that time, when I was on 2 months maternity leave, they couldn't get anyone to replace me during my absence and I ended up working from home... but I think not many are willing to do so when they are on maternity leave.

I suppose to be fair, if 2 persons work equally hard but one works only 8 months in the year, obviously the person who works hard for the entire year should be rewarded more. Problem is that the women who go on maternity leave expect to get the same reward as their counterparts who work hard for the full year.....
 
Hi Mummies, I'm actually glad that the govt extended ML and childcare leave based on personal experience, I've a weak body and stamina. I did not managed to feel up to my feet until 6wks after C-section delivery. I guess it's depend on individuals. My son was born with heart murmur. I've toyed the idea and actually requested extended NPL but my boss was kind of reluctant. So I'm back to work after 8wks ML. My son was prone to fall sick due to low immunity according to PD during his first 2years. And when I took leave to care for him, I was being tick off of how many days leave and sick leave i've taken. They forgot of the hours of additional work I've clocked when I was preggie with customers' increased sales and deadlines. Looking back, I simply do not have enough rest during preggie days together with the work stress. My preggie weight was 7kg above pre-preggie days as I cant stomach much food. Lack of rest and reduced food intake may resulted my weak stamina after child-birth and contribute to son's heart murmur.

Some male bosses forgot that boys and MEN are delivered to this world by Women. And at management level, they usually can afford to be single-income provider, leaving their wives to be SAHM to care for their young ones.

Hi Jess, I do understand your point as I've encountered to work during ML. The govt is encouraging flexi for last few weeks. Some mummies I know work their heart out when they are back at work. They do want to get recognition and rewards as well.

As for SAHMs, It's a pity that the govt do not work out better any package or tax incentives for husbands when they provide for SAHMs.

Hi Tamarind, I agree with your point on SMES to hire foreign talent replacing Spore women. Maybe come another few years, the govt will announce mandatory measures or tax relief if SMEs employ more PRS than Spore women if this enhanced scheme backfire. Currently, those foreigners with work permits are allocated based on ration with local headcount 5:1. But they did not restrict gender. I am not sure of SPRs are inclusive though.
 
I guess employees, employers, the govt and us mommies each have our own concerns. It is just which role we are in in order to see each others' concern clearly and to learn to compromise to reach the best solution that makes everybody happy.

Still, I am happy that our govt is starting to do something about it. It's really true that we can do with more help from our hubbies too.

Does your hubby help you in child care and housework? Does your hubby contribute financially without complaints?

My hubby does not help in child care nor housework, he is simply not interested. But recently, with my gal, he is trying. He likes gal you see. One thing good about him is he does not mind to contribute financially fully. I know of husbands who are very calculative over who pays what for the household regardless whether the wife works or not. I count my blessings that he is not. Although sometimes I really wish that he could do more to help me with child care.
 
gingerbelle

my hubby is very hands-on. He claimed that he is much better than me when it comes to babies. In fact, he took care of dd1 most of the time since I was working full time then with crazy hours. My first attempt at cleaning poo was when dd1 was 14 months old

He used to bath both my kids when they were babies. I only took over the bathing part when they were old enough to sit upright in the tub.
That's why till today he is still very amazed I can be SAHM. Seems quite hopeless this mommy
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I am a penniless SAHM. Of course he must pay for everything.
 
On this topic, anyone knows why no subsidy for kids put in kindergarten? The subsidy is only for kids in childcare correct?

My kids are happily adjusted in their kindy, so I do not want to change, but I cannot benefit from the subsidy leh...anyone knows why the double standard??

Am I tempted to try for one more?
Well, I still have no solution on how to cut down on my regional travels for my job...how to be pregnant and fly up to 4 times a month sometimes??? Although some of my friends said "MNC will surely understand"...but not sure lah...
 
Hi Fairyprincess,

I was about to ask about the kindergarten. Anyone knows if there is any subsidy for after school care well?
 
JessChan,
It is not easy to be a mommy and a full time working woman at the same time. The mommy cannot expect to have the best of both worlds.

moo87,
In my previous company, more than 50% of the employees are Malaysians and Indian nationals !

Fairyprincess,
We can use the CDA account to pay for the kindergarten. The government gives dollar for dollar, so it is like giving 50% subsidy. My kids total fees is about $380, only $190 is my money, so it really helps.

With the CDA account, I think the government will not give any other kind of subsidy for pre-school education.
 
Hi Tamarind,

Hv been reading your blog on how to teach phonics. very impressive.
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Im teaching my ds phonics. need your help to guide me on some of the sound...:p i hv been asking around and also watch star.com and leadfrog but seems like diff ppl give me the diff sound. i would like to know the following sound....

a = shd read as "air" or "ah"
l = ? watch leadfrog, still cannot catch it.

thks
 
hi sleepy

You are blessed with a hands on + financially supportive hubby!
kao_cheers.gif


The hubby of someone close to me, let's call her A, will only pay for groceries. All other items are to be shared half. The rest are 'extras' according to him. Not even when A had to quit her job to take care of her kids for 2 years due to some reasons. A had to survive on her savings for that whole 2 years. A's situation has taught me to be thankful to my hubby and not to take anything for granted.
 


Hi Tamarind- thanks!
but I thought for the new package, kids in childcare get up to S$150-S$300 subsidy per month off the school fees. For kids in kindergarten, we do not get upfront subsidy. I was referring to this upfront subsidy.

For CDA, I think it applies for all kids, whether they go to kindy or childcare types...

BTW- the MMI phonics at jurong west is working out well for my gal...she can read more words and know the technique well. For your gal, any reason why you did not continue after the basic module? I may continue for my gal, she is now at K1, next year K2, must really need to read well...
 
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