Hi all,
I'm in a similar dilemma like many of the gals here.
To cut the story short, Hubby and I have reached a point whereby there's no meaning in continuing with our marriage. We have 2 kids to the marriage, a 8 yo gal and a 5 yo boy. When i left the house in Nov 2014, i thought that the kids would be better off with him. Well, at least, they still get to live in a landed property vs myself, who has to rent a room. All i ask from him is reasonable access to the children, which he agreed.
However, he start to chu pattern when i wanted to see the kids. First of all, he insisted that it had to be a supervised visit. Though i did object to it, i still gave in, coz all i wanted was to see the kids. N Throughout this first visit, my fil followed me everywhere with the disgusted look in his eyes, as if I was a criminal and some dirty woman. I swallowed all these.
When it came to subsequent visits, he kept giving lots of excuses not to let me meet them. Even though we had agreed that every Sunday would be my day, he turned on his words n said that if i want to see the kids, i have to follow his schedule. In order to see them on sunday, i had already shuffled all my work to the other days. He's really making things difficult on me. Time and again, i swallowed my pride and went along with him.
In Mar 2015, when i requested to see the kids again, he told me that he would only consider that if i agree to his terms on our bto. I reasoned with him, explaining that they are two different matters and shouldnt be lumped together and that he has no right to deprive me of my rights as a mother. Well, of course, he ignored all these. This was when i decided to fight for my own rights. Not wanting to give in again this time, I went to my boy's school and picked him up, back to my place. I did my part to inform him upon picking my boy up. He kicked up a huge fuss and went to the police claiming that i had mental illness. IO actually dropped by my place to make sure that i was in the right state of mind. Zzzzz..
The next schooling day, he and his mum went to my boy's school wanting to snatch the boy back. The school called for police intervention. We subsequently reached an agreement whereby the kid would stay with each parent for a week. This agreement was written and signed by both myself and him. I thought that that would be the end of the nightmare. But i was so utterly wrong.
Out of goodwill, I agreed to him having the boy over for dinner (it was my boy's birthday) even though it was my week. I really did not expect that to be the last time i see my boy. He claimed that he regretted what he had written in black and white and that he will not honour it. I called the police but to no avail. They have no respect for the law at all. In fact, his mum told the police officers that this is a private property and that they have no right to enter it.
From that day (24th Apr 2015), my boy didnt go to school at all. Everyday, i would call the school to check on his attendance. Hubby ignores all my msgs. I have screenshots of him having read them and being online. This went on for about 3 weeks. I couldnt take it anymore and requested the Principal to call him as they have not explained his absence to the school at all. This was when he told the Principal that he wanted to withdraw the child. Again, i told him that i was against that idea and he acted nonchalant again. I had no choice but to send him a legal letter. Upon receipt of the letter, he cancelled my daughter's tuition classes, which i was paying for. Furthermore, he told the teacher to hide it from me. I only knew about it coz the teacher couldnt get the payment from him. What a joke.
During the June Holidays, i painstakingly called all the kindergartens nearby his house to see where my boy was. How can a boy at the tender age of 5 not attend school? What is he trying to do? In July 2015, i learnt that he was registered in one of the pcfs. I tried making a few visits there to see my boy, but he was either absent or had been picked up early. I would always inform the school prior to my visit n I even told the principal that i only want to see him during his break time, so as not to disrupt his learning. Somehow, there were too many coincidences and i always cant get to see him. Feeling fishy, i decided not to inform the school this time and he was still absent. I went down again the next day and he still wasnt in school. I requested to see his attendance as i was very worried for my child. N guess what? That idiot had not been sending him to school ever since my last 'informed' visit. From the attendance, i could see that he has not attended even one full week of school ever since he started there. He would be absent for at least a day for every week. I sent a legal letter to him again and requested the principal to call him. My gut feel was right. He had withdrawn the kid once again.
Do u gals think these actions of his are substantial proof that he is a very immature adult who does not think about the consequences his actions bring? That he is a very irresponsible father who does not see the importance of education for his kids? Under the child protection act, a child should not be deprived of education. Is this depriving the kid?