A Support Group for Divorcees

Hi

i would like to join the group too. I'm going to file for divorce but don't know how and where to start. Need lots of advices as well.
 


Hi depressed mom

Yap you are right. My laywer did told me nowadays court will try to grant joint custody. But I felt I deserved full n requested to put up for full which I got it!

Mine is adultery. besides that, He had all along been neglecting my child n had never gave us a cent to support us. I belief it was granted base on case to case basis. If the case is not strong I belief the court will reject n we have to spend a little bit more to amend the custody part.
 
hi, will like to join the group too.

considering divorce cuz of my husband's mounting debt with banks. but have a 4 mth baby to consider also. sigh.

please add me in
 
is it possible to divorce aft juz 1 yr of marriage?

my husband's mounting debts with numerous banks is suffocating me. N he refused to be up-front with me until we received letter from lawyer serving notice for writ of seizure. only then did i realise what he has done behind my back.

i shouldnt have entered into this marriage in the first place.

so angry n pissed now.
 
Hi yoyoko, I'm also looking to get sole custody of my second kid.. First kid will have to be joint. For second kid, essentially he did nothing at all but just have the title of dad.

Would like to seek your advice as to who granted your sole custody.. Mediating judge?

TIA!
 
Hi all, i just got adultery evidence of my husband. I got a few question to ask, hope you all can help me.
1. My husband and myself were married for 2 yrs and 10 mths with no kids, now i got the evidence of adultery, can i file for divorce?
2. We bought a resale hdb flat tru cpf grant. House is 2yrs and 10mths old, are we allowed to sell off the hse after the divorce is finalised?
3. I am looking for reliable n cheap lawyer as i am going to get majority shares of the house, maintenace fee and summon the 3rd party out to the court, any advise?

I am not able to retain the hse as i am below 35 yrs old. I will be homeless aft the sale of the flat and need to rent a utility room aft that. I hope any kind mommies can advise me. Thank you.
 
Gwen, this is what I think..

You are able to file for divorce on your 3rd year based on adultery. You are allowed to sell the house thereafter, as part of the procedures of divorce.

Why don't you live with your parents aft the issue? More cost effective and has someone to look after your needs
 
Hi to all mummies....am pretty lost too shld i go for my second D....first hubby had an affair with PRC...i gave up everything EVEN my two kids with him as i cannot afford to rise the kids myself plus i hv no edviance against him..BECOZ ..i forgave him n tried to move on in the end still caught him still contacting each other....i was totally devastated...n asked for a D.

After so many years again on ther verge of another D ..with my second hubby a useless chap ...i am now totally LOSS dun know what shld i do...this useless father ,beat me twicw..dun work only ask money from his parents...highly educated BUT is useless coz he say cant find any job coz TOO old ..this year 46 plus ...refuse to work ...still wanna maintain a maid and i hv two young kids ...8 & 6 this year..in total 4 kids two fm previous n 2 fm current ....
 
what shld i do.......totally cant live with this type of useless father ,useless hubby..hv been giing him so many chances ..keep saying he will look for a job ,he will change we cant D becoz of the kids....am going crazy everyweek sure got crazy things happening in the hsehold...feel i going to my pil hse to complain,...got use meh ..they love him so much has been protecting him for sooo many years...
 
Hi, I recently just discovered that my hub is having an affair. Am still talking things through but possibility of getting a divorce. We are currently staying overseas cos of his job and i had been a sahm for 10 yrs. We have 2 kids aged 7 and 12. Any idea what's the chances of me gettg custody for the kids in the event of a divorce and what are the evidences that i shd gather for prove of financial status. I've txt msgs frm the bitch, is that useful enuff evidence of adultery?
 
Hi all mummies,

I hope i can get some idea about the custody / divorce

Since last year, i have suspected he got ambitious to divorce me and fight the 2 kids. still in dilemma situation trying best to hold this marriage for the small kids

ytd, he give option surrender 2 kids and flat for him and i leave the house go back M'sia for 2yr (I'm SPR) or he sell away the flat within 5 yrs and he will return $ as his idea no need court case, i'm blur !
 
I need help... I have submitted the divorce papers last Nov 2012... but i dunno whats next.. We have agreed that I would have the sole custody and care and control... would there still be a problem??
Can PM me pls???

*worried*
 
Hi there,

I am glad that I have found this forum. Same as most of you, my husband commit adultery but i cant sue him for that. only can use unreasonable and inappropriate act on him as i dun have PI report. he got himself involve with a Malaysian woman. this march will be 3 years of marriage. Have 2 kids. the first one is gg to be 2 and half years. the second will be due in end June. my eldest boy tells me that he doesn't wants to be with his dad. he wants me instead.
 
Hi Anna Ang,how can i pm u or can u pm me at
[email protected] ?
I'd like you try your "numerology " you are talking abt.. Thank you so much..

Frankly,if it's not cos of my aged parents and my 5yr old boy,I'd have divorced him....
 
Depressed mum & Singleton,
I do agree with yoyokomama on the part on the joint custody.. I heard alot on that and my friend was actually forced to have joint custody for her son though she mentioned that she opt for sole custody. Her case was due to abuse... Her ex beat her... she has medical and police records for that...

I think if yours is amicable, the judge will follow the agreement you and your husband have made.. For my case, we talk it thru and i manage to secure sole custody and care and control for my 5 yr old gal by sacrificing mainetance (he is very money faced so I could steer away with not wanting to take his money).

Maybe you wan to talk to your husband or a lawyer to advise you on this better?

Gwen Hu: If you have the sole custody of all your children, you can ask to retain the house, under your and your children's name. However, i think you need to pay him back on this CPF contributions. Not quite sure if there is any other amount that you need to pay him on.

Sh(angst): Only txt msg can only have him up for unreasonable behaviour. As advised previously by the laywers, adultery can only be used when they are caught in action, meaning that you will need a PI to catch them in action. If you have been a sahm with 2 kids and successfully filed for divorce under unreasonable behaviour, he will need to pay maintenance for you and the 2 kids. The amount is calculated seperately. He is supposed to maintain you and the children as the way it was during marriage. However, I dunno how long the maintenance will be... there will be some clauses under the maintenance. Its better to check with a lawyer on this.
 
Dear All,

I am currently in a big dilemma and to chance upon this forum is definitely a blessing in disguise. My life has never been great the moment I am married. I married my husband after 3 years of being in a relationship. During our honeymoon, I found out that my husband actually has another woman whom he knew 1 year before our marriage and they have been contacting each other even during our honeymoon. I was very sad but he told me that he would leave her when we reached Singapore. I trusted him. I got pregnant a few weeks later and I really thought that he has left the girl. On one faithful day, he told me that he needs to do a research at the library. Feeling suspicious (I was 7 months pregnant then), I went to library to see him with the woman. We had an argument outside the library and the woman admit that they had been having sex together a couple of times. It really makes me feel sick. When I looked back at out credit cards bill, I realised there were a few occasions whereby it was used to pay for hotels. I was really lost. My first child was born with a lot of depression on my side. I am not sure whether having a child would solve anything. My in-laws have never been on my side with regards to this issue and I don't dare to tell anyone else about it including my mum.

He promised that he will not be with her anymore after I gave birth to my first child. I continue to believe him and I really thought he is not with her anymore. 2 years later I had a pair of twins. We were happy. However, I found out that their relationships continue. I saw a bill from a florist with a statement "Thank you for your patience" and it was addressed to her. I feel very sad. Although my husband treats me very well since we have the twins, I realised he has never been truthful to me.

About 4 years later (2012), I found out that they went overseas together and I found evidence that they had sex. I was really at a lost and wanted to file for divorce. It affects my life totally and I am always in tears. He persuaded me not to and to give him a chance. She texted me to tell me that she will be gone for good. I do not know whether I should trust him or her but up till today, I have not found anything suspicious that allows me to think that they are together. But sadly, I found out that he has an affair with another woman. This time I am confident for this woman, it is not about love anymore but it's all about lust as they only meet each other or call each other to talk about their lusts. I am supposed to make a decision for divorce but I am reluctant because of my 3 sons. This is our 7th year of marriage. I am scared of losing them. What should I do?
sad.gif
 
Hi Twin Mummy,

Be strong for your kids. Very sad to hear your story. Can you try to get your hubby to go for conselling together? You should emphasize to him that what he is doing is very hurting and if he wants to save the marriage, he really needs to change this aspect of his behaviour.
 
Hi..i chanced upon this forum while looking for adultery support group. Can I can join this support group as I am not a divorcee yet and I do not have children? Please direct me to the correct support group if there is one. I discovered my husband’s affair few months back and I feel very devastated. Each day is an emotional roller coaster for me. I cant believe that it is happening to me. At the initial denial stage, I told myself that I may be too sensitive and imaginating things. He will never hurt me like this. Surely not. We have been dating each other for 11 years before we got married in late 2011. The man that I know is of high moral values and he is the man that I trusted for the whole of my life, he is not such a person. But as new discoveries unfold each day, it kept on forcing me to face reality. I feel so confused now, I don’t know if I should hold on to this marriage or we should head for separate ways. He told me that he don’t love me anymore and wont be happy in this marriage. He is clear in his decision that he want a divorce and I think I should let him go. I don’t want him to be unhappy, it is not being fair to both of us. But I just cant let go. I have been so emotionally dependent on him and I cant cope with such a loss. I feel so alone and helpless. I don’t have the courage to face all these and make any decision. I just feel like escaping and wish that all is a nightmare, that is not actually happening.
 
Hi mummies,

I hope u wont find my posting here to be intruding.

But i like to extend $ making opportunities to single mums here who wan earn extra $$..

Criteria must be chinese and non christian.

Pm me for more details.
 
I am 7 months pregnancy now, and my husband having affair with a married Malaysia women when I was 3 months pregnant . When things been found out by me two months ago, they still continue. I don't have photo to approve, but I have their chats which mentioned abt it. I am really very upset and disappointed with them. They think they still can hide and continue. They r working colleagues , so far no one knows abt it at their working area, even that woman's husband. What should I do now?
 
if I am u, get the evidence. Then confront your husband to make him stop. if not, then threaten to expose their relationship
 
HI, all i wan to join this group too. In a stress of divorce, Cannot stand the process of letter here and there. Money keep going out.
Need Advise and listening Ear.
 
princessjaz88 said:
hi ladies,
would like to join this support group to learn more about how others are coping and how to manage life after divorce.

I've been married for 12yrs with 2kids..HB strayed twice and we cant get along...recently, we quarrel over small issues and he asked for a divorce in a spite of anger. Even postd on FB to let all his and some of my friends know..of cos he said its all my fault, my character and refused to change. I was weary and tired and told him tt ok, lets go separate ways..But he refused becos I guess he only threaten me then.

He said I am selfish n unfair to him..he thought he had found someone he can live with for a lifetime but only knowing now tt it is not just becos I refused to change.. he thinks I am being very unfair to him and the kids becos of my character. He also tried to wash my brain by saying " u think life will be good after divorce? All my friends who went thru it had gone thru tough life. So dont think that life will be better"... He asked me to think if I want this marriage and change to save this marriage.

Things has been cold now and he purposely try to avoid me n finds me irritating too. When I scold my kids becos they never behave, he always refer me to "that woman" or "her" instead of using "mummy"..

I am very sick and tired of this marriage..am really seriously thinking of leaving him and starting my own life with the kids. but also concerned tt kids will really be affected by this. I spoke to close friends and relatives and all had persuaded me not to divorce becos of the kids.. but on the other side, I am not happy at all in my daily life...I just have a simple wish, to live happily everyday...

so chance upon this thread and hope to understand and know more ppl who had gone thru before making final decision. If there is a FB group, can PM me to join or anyway to link up with ppl here?? Advise please and sorry for long winded story..
Click to expand...
i would really love to join a support group here...but i dont know how...can anyone show me the way pls
 
nicolenicole said:
Hi cuttie

Welcome to our support group. We r here for each other. Please pm me n I will add u via email. There is nothing much yet because I m v busy now with my divorce matters.
But I aim to get everyone together to meet n chat , including our children
happy.gif


Do u intend to move out? How long have u been divorced? I like your CCTV analogy! Hahaha...
Cheer up! We are here for each other...
Click to expand...
hi nicole, please add me up...thanks
 
I'm doing up my third affidavit for divorce for ancillary matters, due for hearing in Sept. with two young kids 1 and 3. I hope to be of help to anyone here who needs an opinion or simply a listening ear =) mine is based on unreasonable behavior.. As far as I'm concerned, no third parties
 
toyplaybox said:
I'm doing up my third affidavit for divorce for ancillary matters, due for hearing in Sept. with two young kids 1 and 3. I hope to be of help to anyone here who needs an opinion or simply a listening ear =) mine is based on unreasonable behavior.. As far as I'm concerned, no third parties
Click to expand...
hi how can i contact you? thanks
 


Hi ladies...
I was the listening ear when my bestie went through divorce.
If you need someone to chat with, feel free to PM me.

As I advised my friend:
1. Are you really in a situation where living with him is mental torture? You can't live normally because you feel betrayed or emotionally abused?
2. Have you made plans to be independent? This will mean financially (assume no maintenance from him), emotionally (your own team of support), physically (physical care of the children and the house).
3. Have you thought about how to present the situation to your children? How are you going to explain the situation to minimise the emotional trauma for them?
4. Always assume worst case scenario where you can't get the house, you can't get money, you can't get the kids. Are you determined to leave him?
5. If you can't get the house, do you have a place to stay? This is important in custody ruling if he objects.
6. If you can't get maintenance or alimony, can you survive? If you are not working, quickly get a job, arrange childcare for the kids and settle in to independent lifestyle without his help.
7. Have you thought about what you want for yourself and your child once you are out of this marriage?
8. What about visitations? Are you prepared to have to face him in future even though you are divorced? Divorce doesn't mean the end and you don't have to see him anymore. You still need to contact him with regards to the kids. Are you emotionally ready to handle that?

There's a lot to consider.
Many of you are here in this thread because you've most likely been patient and patient and patient, but patience does wear thin.

Think through, make plans before starting the divorce procedures. It will help a lot if you are mentally and financially ready for what is coming.
 
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