Hi, need some advice. Discovered my husband's affair with his female colleague late last year. This is the second time it happened, the first time it happened, we managed to reconcile. I tried to reconcile with him this time too, for the sake of the family, especially the children but he insisted on divorce. I tried my best to save the marriage, sending and picking up my husband after his dates with the woman, helping him with his work while he was out having fun with the woman, taking care of his daily needs ..... Not only was he not appreciative, he sent me a lawyer's letter last year to confirm the start date of separation although we are living under the roof. He did not move out because he does not want to incur additional rental costs. He does not pay for the household expenses either even though he stays in the house. I have to manage the household finances and take care of the children all by myself. Recently, he moved out without a word and then moved back home within a month. I am not sure of his reason for doing so but I am quite sure that he went on an overseas holiday trip with the woman recently.
My lawyer sent his lawyer a letter to dispute on the separation commencement date, claiming that separation does not start unless he moves out of the house. Thereafter, I felt a little 'guilty' about sending the lawyer's letter, asking him to move out . Am I too harsh ? On the other hand, at times, I could not stand seeing him in the house. He does not communicate with anyone of us, not even the children and he will be texting her all the time on the phone. He is usually out with her until quite late at night, 11 plus or sometimes past midnight, even on weekdays.
I don't know what he is thinking - why is he willing to give up his family (more than 10 years) for a woman whom he knows for barely a year ? I am not initiating divorce as I am not ready for it. Separation may do us good, at least let me have some peace of mind to think about the next step. Sometimes, I wonder, given time, would he realise what he has done has hurt his family a lot ? Would he repent and turn back ? There again, I was also asking myself, even if he turns back, would I be able to accept him again since he has already been unfaithful to me twice and this second time of infidelity, the hurt and pain is even deeper than the first ?
Any advice ?