2WW - for those TTC-ing

hey girls, to those eating royal jelly ah... how many mg do you eat per day? i mean besides the "honey-like" ones, got pill form which is more convenient but so many diff mg!! or do you see the equivalent 10-hydroxy-2-deconoic acid (10-HDA) % and mg levels?
 


Doodoo, gynae no see me. I went straight for bt...
When clinic call me to inform me that my hcg was 4k plus, I still blur blur ask Is tat good or bad.... I was So prepared for bad news actually...
 
dolly_gal said:
Thanks angel mommy... I So envy the ladies in this thread to bfp naturally wherelse me n dh had went thru few cycles of ivf.. it was like roller coaster for us in terms of physical, mentally n financial since 2011..
we thot ivf sure strike But when failed the first 2 times, I really cried n ask y is it So hard for us. To me my dh just produce sperms wherelse I went thru the stimulation stage n et n 2ww.
To a stage that I hate cny cos I dun want see his relatives as we were married early But the last not to have kid yet...
I just hope this time is smooth for me as I lost one at week 8 last year...
Click to expand...
Dolly_gal, jia you jia you jia you!!!
Big hus to you and hope this time everything will run smoothly for you!
I have a colleague whose friend also tried IVF and also failed before... then subsequently she also got her own baby even though she spent a lot of $$ and she already quite old. And the good thing is, she is now pregnant with her 2nd (via IVF too). When there is a will, there is a way.
Jia you dolly_gal and baby_sparkles!
 
baby_sparkles said:
Wondersss I'm left w two BL to et nex mth but hope I still can O n bfp naturally this mth... She saw my chart n said I O but I told her no ewcm no positive opk

So I have to continue to bd n chart bbt

:(
Click to expand...
Jiayou ok.. no stress.. Since she say u O-ed and u told her no EWCM what she say? Cos i O-ed without EWCM as well..
dolly_gal said:
Thanks angel mommy... I So envy the ladies in this thread to bfp naturally wherelse me n dh had went thru few cycles of ivf.. it was like roller coaster for us in terms of physical, mentally n financial since 2011..
we thot ivf sure strike But when failed the first 2 times, I really cried n ask y is it So hard for us. To me my dh just produce sperms wherelse I went thru the stimulation stage n et n 2ww.
To a stage that I hate cny cos I dun want see his relatives as we were married early But the last not to have kid yet...
I just hope this time is smooth for me as I lost one at week 8 last year...
Click to expand...

dolly_gal, I also went thru ivf and had a chem pregnancy 2yrs before and it was few days before xmas so i can understand your sadness when u have to drag yr feet and celebrate festives. You are doin well now.. Jiayou!!

Emily, I was like you also.. Seen her the first time and she also ask some standard qtns and i show her my tests and also told her my failed ivf.. She just give me a plan say tiao your body and we see how.. FULLSTOP.. I was like o_Oo_Oo_O???
2nd time worse, I told her that can i start planning for my IVF in May / June. She say "i cannot stop you but failed u dun blame me. U only see me once n u expect miracles" i was like :eek::eek::eek: i want to ask if 3 months ok to go ahead or not so i can start to book first mah.. :(:(
But i still never give up cos i have faith in her... So u dont think too much.. U must be positive.. I think u are too stress that your period is getting longer.. relax ok.. POSiTIVE VIBRES!!!:D:D
 
Oh..my sore boobs are not sore anymore.. so disappointing.. hahah..
My hubby this morning still ask me when need to sexercising.. i told him this month quota fufilled.. U better pray u dont have to sexcerising for the next 9 months and I can see his face lighted up machiam im the one who has been violating him all these while.. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
to the preggers ladies here... anyone has very bad backaches? preggers will usually get tt right? esp in the later trimesters? are you girls working out specifically to strengthen ur back? i have a very high tolerance for pain, but totally cannot deal with backaches... so v scared... probably want ot do something now while ttc-ing...
 
dolly_gal said:
Doodoo, gynae no see me. I went straight for bt...
When clinic call me to inform me that my hcg was 4k plus, I still blur blur ask Is tat good or bad.... I was So prepared for bad news actually...
Click to expand...
That's good news. Wah hcg so high. So envy u!! Lol that's why tsb says my hcg very low. Lol

I'm very happy for u. So when are u going to see Gynae? Will u be in nov thread also? So exciting!!

I'm super and extremely exhausted today. So wish I don't have to go work and can slp in. Tonight really must slp early I'm just exhausted!
 
doodoo123 said:
to the preggers ladies here... anyone has very bad backaches? preggers will usually get tt right? esp in the later trimesters? are you girls working out specifically to strengthen ur back? i have a very high tolerance for pain, but totally cannot deal with backaches... so v scared... probably want ot do something now while ttc-ing...
Click to expand...
Think once pregnancy more stable I'll go do some yoga for preggie ladies.
 
dolly_gal said:
I m just lucky my dh willing to continue try after failed many cycles. At first I thot he is numb until when we failed the 3rd cycles he was talking to dr angrily. He said he felt vy pain see me taking jabs after jabs at tummy n progesterone jab at the butt daily during 2ww. My butt was So sore until I can't lie on bed to sleep properly.
When I mc last year mil went guan yin temple n ask will we have bb or not.. she said reply was positive But we need to b persistent So this actually gives my dh some hope as well to continue this journey
Click to expand...

hugz hugz dolly gal !
i seriously think that u are very brave and determined !
i like the spirit !

slousysoup,
u are so funny ... i guess the gynae will understand and wont think u are siao char bo lah !
just being too kan cheong only :)
 
hopeful_mum said:
Ladies. I'm so tired. Just finish my milo and shower. Got to send 2 friends home after the concert. Lol we had a great time. And congrats to dolly gal!!! Yeah happy for u. Wishing u a happy and healthy 9 mths :)

This mth a lot of ppl grad. Hehe so happy now every night I will feel hungry so drink milo then slp. And today my tummy ultimate bloated like before O. Bulge out so ugly. Lol but can't wait for it to become baby bump.

After this msg I'm gonna slp Liao.

Emily, ya I think depends on tsb mood. My first impression of her is quite good I knew I was in luck becox she was chatty and ask a lot of qns. She ask I answer and volunteer info slowly. If she doesn't want to hear she will shut me. So I just listen. She took my pulse too. And when I compare I think dr Su more xi xin. But I also didn't ask her abt my pulse. Cox at that time I preggie Liao. I just hope she doesn't say bad things to me like (as in honest bad things like not stable etc). Not that I mind but of cox I want it to be good lah. So she didn't.

Abt western meds I volunteer info like duphaston and prednisone (steroids) to her. Then she was the one concern may clash. Think maybe we need to adjust the way we ask qns and volunteer info. Like impt ones then tell her. I also feel if want to succeed must trust and follow. Cox if we ask too much qns she may think we doubt her capabilities. Since we doubt then might as well don't see her.

My friend strictly no cold drinks no fruits in her diet. She strictly followed tcm. That time I feel she is mad. She also had 3 miscarriages. I had one at that point and I don't believe. But now u ask me. I believe. After that she succeed. Her tcm says start engine then she start. She makes sure her body is okay then she try. One mth later she strike and baby now 2years old.

If I don't see so many success stories around me I won't go see tcm. I'm a firm believer why ang mo can do we cannot. Why cannot drink cold water. Why cannot eat fruits. So I will do everything. Now I guai guai. If really no choice then I eat so ppl don't know that I'm preggie or ttc. So chin up, give urself more time and give her some time. Not that ur previous tcm not good, but see her so long also no news why not try a new one. Maybe harsher will have results. 严师出高徒。of cox u have to cooperate and try to follow.

I also hope in dec I can go to zhu Sheng buang Niamh temple to return red eggs! This time I'm going to be very pantang. No more attending baby showers and weddings for me.

Previously I always go and carry ppl baby etc. Now I will not I will Siam until my baby is deliver. I am the super carefree and a bit ang mo style last time. U tell me these things I won't believe. But after so many failures I also choose to listen.


Okay sorry for the long note. Good night now lousy cannot dong until 2am (my usual sleeping time).

The rest of the ladies Jia you! Like dolly never give up!
Click to expand...


Hopeful_mum, two thumbs up for you!!!
Jia you jia you and just err on the side of caution. I believe in those pantang things coz I feel if follow and there is that small small chance of minimising problems, I will do it.. so that even if anything not so good happens, can rule out all those pantang things.
This time you so focused, definitely will help you. Jia you!

By the way, if pregnant, cannot attend weddings and baby showers?
 
Piggling said:
Hopeful_mum, two thumbs up for you!!!
Jia you jia you and just err on the side of caution. I believe in those pantang things coz I feel if follow and there is that small small chance of minimising problems, I will do it.. so that even if anything not so good happens, can rule out all those pantang things.
This time you so focused, definitely will help you. Jia you!

By the way, if pregnant, cannot attend weddings and baby showers?
Click to expand...
Thanks dear. Ya by right pantang cannot go baby shower and weddings. Of cox funeral is a big no no. Last time I just go ahead one. Don't care like how bad can it be right. Lol actually now I still don't believe but erm this time I will just not go. Even one of my best friends wedding. A lady told me nothing is more impt than ur baby. So I heed her advice.
 
hopeful_mum said:
Thanks dear. Ya by right pantang cannot go baby shower and weddings. Of cox funeral is a big no no. Last time I just go ahead one. Don't care like how bad can it be right. Lol actually now I still don't believe but erm this time I will just not go. Even one of my best friends wedding. A lady told me nothing is more impt than ur baby. So I heed her advice.
Click to expand...

Oh dear.. Icic... I thought maybe weddings still okie.. :(
But yet it is so true that nothing is more impt than your baby... I am sure your friend will understand.
 
dolly_gal said:
Hopeful, I tik I will join nov thread when it's more stable.. currently silent reader there
Click to expand...
Lol I now slightly more active but still not as engaging as I'm here. When are u going to see Gynae? Sorry if u already mentioned but too many posts so lazy to scroll back.
 
doodoo123 said:
to the preggers ladies here... anyone has very bad backaches? preggers will usually get tt right? esp in the later trimesters? are you girls working out specifically to strengthen ur back? i have a very high tolerance for pain, but totally cannot deal with backaches... so v scared... probably want ot do something now while ttc-ing...
Click to expand...
Heh not to scare u .

When my contractions is here my back was aching like !^@^#^#&@&#$*#*...

Every time af symptoms and day 1 day 2 of af Is backaches ...

Even when I'm typing out nw my back is aching... why !!!
 
Colleague wedding in Dec also no need go coz having confinement. Such case I tink if couple pantang I also no need give red packet ..
 
Hi morning ladies,

thanks ladies for enlightening me ytd. I was so tired that i slept for 9hrs+.... 7am did wake up and go pee + take temp. cos i scared if i wake up for toilet din take temp, later wake up late e temp oso diff. and yeah! my temp goes up tdy...

tonight i m going to brew tsb med to drink b4 i slp and nothing else i will take aft taking her med. but i scared i keep going to pee. i pee a lot after drinking fluid one. like if b4 i go to bed i drink half cup of milo, i will pee 3 or 4 times b4 i could totally clear my urine and zzz. if i feel like peeing i cannot slp well.

ytd didn't drink her med cos i still in e up and dwn mood. tonight i will drink le. moreover inside got raspberries, shld b good for me. but one thing is tat she said if AF come den don drink e med, if preg then go n see her immediately. so if AF come don drink her med then how? Aft AF go n visit her again???

my next appointment in end of apr... which is abt 3 weeks + from ytd.
angel mommy, i can't see her during e morning cos i see her in chinatown, all the afternoon and night timing. clinic opens from 1pm to 8pm i think

Dolly gal, CONGRATS to your good news!!! :) hee tsb managed to catch your gd news b4 ur gynae.

hopefulmum, sloshy, stoney, bel vodka, dolly gal, Boeylacky
so happy that march is an exciting mth .... so many good news!!!!

now waiting for my cycle buddies, twinkletots and booy to test next.
 
added dolly gal in for e march bfp.
jumbogirl tested??? whinypooh tested? doodoo123 u are next! tomorrow!!! :) counting dwn to april!
Waiting for BFP:
21 Mar - JumboGirl
26 Mar - Whinypooh
28 Mar - doodoo123
31 Mar - wantababy
02 Apr - Twinkletot
03 Apr - Emily Tan
03 Apr - Booy
03 Apr - Hlixian
07 Apr - angelbaby
14 Apr - qin17
16 Apr - maerceci
17 Apr - Dora_
18 Apr - Emily Tan (why i chose this date is bcos it is a GOOD FRIDAY, ya so i hope my day will be good)
28 Apr - Piggling
Chocopiggie + Tae Yang- taking a break, Pooh232 - may be trying for ivf
Congratulations to those happily proceeded to BFP in Jan:
tanja78, dogdog and wivi789
Congratulations to those happily proceeded to BFP in Feb:
little_bud, Dustygritty
Congratulations to those happily proceeded to BFP in Mar:
Stoneystoney, hopeful_mum, sloshy soup, bel_vodka, Boeylacky, dolly_gal
 
what is e hcg levels a preggers shld have?
wht do u girls do when u feel stressed? i jus came back from a trip last week and now my stress level goes up again. i am always feeling so tired and feverish feeling everyday. really no mood to work. but tmr is friday le. dono wat to do lei.
 
I juz went to a gp for another round of check... I'm so fed up w my Hcg strips haha 5 tested all negative ... and it's a fainted positive ; )
 
dolly_gal said:
I went thru ivf & had my et on 8 march.. Tik now it's like 4 weeks ++
First thing when I walk into her room she ask me any good news I said not yet, waiting for call... then feedback to her abt my terrible cramps few days after et then makes me wake up n cry n wanna punch my dh when I saw him slpt like a dead log.. n I spent 300+ see gynae to check wats wrong w me tat day too.. best part after spent the money, all my symptoms n pain gone.. tats y on sun when I see brownish discharge I thot gone case liao... until tsb Gave me the hope ……
Click to expand...


Do u ask what cause u brown color discharge?
 
Piggling said:
Hopeful_mum, two thumbs up for you!!!
Jia you jia you and just err on the side of caution. I believe in those pantang things coz I feel if follow and there is that small small chance of minimising problems, I will do it.. so that even if anything not so good happens, can rule out all those pantang things.
This time you so focused, definitely will help you. Jia you!

By the way, if pregnant, cannot attend weddings and baby showers?
Click to expand...

wedding, will some say will 冲喜 so not so good, also, the couples might also pantang if preggie and attend their wedding, for the same reason, I suppose....
 
Emily Tan said:
Hi morning ladies,

thanks ladies for enlightening me ytd. I was so tired that i slept for 9hrs+.... 7am did wake up and go pee + take temp. cos i scared if i wake up for toilet din take temp, later wake up late e temp oso diff. and yeah! my temp goes up tdy...

tonight i m going to brew tsb med to drink b4 i slp and nothing else i will take aft taking her med. but i scared i keep going to pee. i pee a lot after drinking fluid one. like if b4 i go to bed i drink half cup of milo, i will pee 3 or 4 times b4 i could totally clear my urine and zzz. if i feel like peeing i cannot slp well.

ytd didn't drink her med cos i still in e up and dwn mood. tonight i will drink le. moreover inside got raspberries, shld b good for me. but one thing is tat she said if AF come den don drink e med, if preg then go n see her immediately. so if AF come don drink her med then how? Aft AF go n visit her again???

my next appointment in end of apr... which is abt 3 weeks + from ytd.
angel mommy, i can't see her during e morning cos i see her in chinatown, all the afternoon and night timing. clinic opens from 1pm to 8pm i think

Dolly gal, CONGRATS to your good news!!! :) hee tsb managed to catch your gd news b4 ur gynae.

hopefulmum, sloshy, stoney, bel vodka, dolly gal, Boeylacky
so happy that march is an exciting mth .... so many good news!!!!

now waiting for my cycle buddies, twinkletots and booy to test next.
Click to expand...
ya sorry ah last night I was just sharing. I really hope that her meds works for u. if AF come cannot drink Chinese meds. so like my friend she will go ahead and drink all the tea, caffine etc. lol take a break from tcm. so if AF come liao, u must stop then start again after AF stops then go see her loh.

Dr SU also like that, af come cannot take.
 
Emily Tan said:
Hi morning ladies,

thanks ladies for enlightening me ytd. I was so tired that i slept for 9hrs+.... 7am did wake up and go pee + take temp. cos i scared if i wake up for toilet din take temp, later wake up late e temp oso diff. and yeah! my temp goes up tdy...

tonight i m going to brew tsb med to drink b4 i slp and nothing else i will take aft taking her med. but i scared i keep going to pee. i pee a lot after drinking fluid one. like if b4 i go to bed i drink half cup of milo, i will pee 3 or 4 times b4 i could totally clear my urine and zzz. if i feel like peeing i cannot slp well.

ytd didn't drink her med cos i still in e up and dwn mood. tonight i will drink le. moreover inside got raspberries, shld b good for me. but one thing is tat she said if AF come den don drink e med, if preg then go n see her immediately. so if AF come don drink her med then how? Aft AF go n visit her again???

my next appointment in end of apr... which is abt 3 weeks + from ytd.
angel mommy, i can't see her during e morning cos i see her in chinatown, all the afternoon and night timing. clinic opens from 1pm to 8pm i think

Dolly gal, CONGRATS to your good news!!! :) hee tsb managed to catch your gd news b4 ur gynae.

hopefulmum, sloshy, stoney, bel vodka, dolly gal, Boeylacky
so happy that march is an exciting mth .... so many good news!!!!

now waiting for my cycle buddies, twinkletots and booy to test next.
Click to expand...


if you take these herbal stuff during af, then it'll all be wasted. whenever my mom wanted to brew tonic for me, she wld always ask am I having my af? if I am, then she'll wait until my af cleared then she brewed. Emily, if your af is here, then you stopped her med as instructed. Then you wait till af cleared, then take
 
hopeful_mum said:
lol nvm lah, we can still got here and chat there ourselves. we have 6 members liao! lol ppl we know.some are still chatting there.
I not ready to go FB yet. think I probably nvr will be until I see my baby lol so I do hope the thread is still active.
Click to expand...
Hehe I join fb n Nov n here ...
Here is still like my home !

V happy to c another test kit showing my results ...

Spreading Bb dusts again!!!
 

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twinkletot said:
*Sigh* Need to nag abit. This cycle 2WW very torturing and stressful. Perhaps yearning too much for a Dec baby coz my wish is to celebrate CNY 2015 with bb and DH. 一家三口团团圆圆. this portrait is so touching. haiz...if i fail will very sad. pin too much hope is no gd. disappointment will be greater. sure very down if BFN. never see positive sign before so pathetic. not in a gd mood today. every month tell hubby "So sad, my menses is here!" then he will always reply "Never mind, we try again ok". my god! has been repeating this conversation with him for umpteen times. When all these will come to an end? Getting more n more impatient liao...can scold F words here @#%&&**())%$@!@!. terribly sorry gals need to vent some frustration here. Pls forgive me. :(:mad::confused:
Click to expand...


me too dear... me tooo. i still cry everytime my period comes even though so many months liao. i also yearn so badly, im willing to gibe up some years of my life to have a baby also... if only can exchange... haizzz...
 
wantababy said:
me too dear... me tooo. i still cry everytime my period comes even though so many months liao. i also yearn so badly, im willing to gibe up some years of my life to have a baby also... if only can exchange... haizzz...
Click to expand...

Don't be sad... choy choy... Your turn will come and you need all the years you can have to see your children grow up, get married n have their own kids.
Jia you and remain optimistic. The time will come.
 
hopeful_mum said:
lol nvm lah, we can still got here and chat there ourselves. we have 6 members liao! lol ppl we know.some are still chatting there.
I not ready to go FB yet. think I probably nvr will be until I see my baby lol so I do hope the thread is still active.
Click to expand...

YES!!!!!!!

ok.. I got a confession. and pls pls pls dun laugh coz itz very very very unbelievable (I know coz that's wat all my friends say..)

I dun really use fb.. in fact I dun do fb. weird huh.. I dunno but I never see the need for it. I know fb is good, can share pics info etc but I just am not into it....

i feel like a weird nut whenever pple ask if i got fb account and i said not exactly (used to have one yrs ago but i was inactive and i even forgot my password liao.. so i just dun do fb anymore...)

in these FB era, i am one helluva unbelievable case...:eek:
 
hopeful_mum said:
ya sorry ah last night I was just sharing. I really hope that her meds works for u. if AF come cannot drink Chinese meds. so like my friend she will go ahead and drink all the tea, caffine etc. lol take a break from tcm. so if AF come liao, u must stop then start again after AF stops then go see her loh.

Dr SU also like that, af come cannot take.
Click to expand...
ic ic thaks ya. good oso, at least can take a break. had been drinking tcm med like it is a forever thing in my life
 
twinkletot said:
Emily or u call TSB clinic to ask if ur AF arrive? But of course I hope our AF will Mia for 9months. Lol. I feel very stressed yesterday so I went eat brownie ice cream with DH yesterday. Sweet dessert can help me relieve some stress.
Click to expand...
me too i love cakes. love sweet things
 
Emily Tan said:
LOL i saw my name there. herh herh herh... :D so how do u read that?? ctrl line in red and e POS there got a red tick.
Click to expand...
Haha told u we have e same name !

Is a positive + but abit faint for the vertical line... The rest I donno how to c wor . Gp juz say is cfm
 
bel_vodka said:
Haha told u we have e same name !

Is a positive + but abit faint for the vertical line... The rest I donno how to c wor . Gp juz say is cfm
Click to expand...
oh hahaha so u were e one sharing e same name as me eh. i rmb one lady told me but i doono was u haha. my memory no good. hee hee..
 
wa, bel, er.. may i ask watz that you r using? looks sophisticated.. u mean you can customized the tester and add in your own name? sorry, other than hpk, i never seen anything like that...
 
Emily Tan said:
sorry for ranting and complaining so much! i hope i don offend anyone here who likes TSB. cos i dono wat shld i do now. i m really lost! and from wat she said, i seems like will need to wait for AF to come... bcos she said AF come don eat her med
Click to expand...

hug! im so sorry to hear. :( i hope u feel better soon!
 
wantababy said:
me too dear... me tooo. i still cry everytime my period comes even though so many months liao. i also yearn so badly, im willing to gibe up some years of my life to have a baby also... if only can exchange... haizzz...
Click to expand...
ya wantababy, don be sad. all of us here oso wan a baby. :( we truly understand e feeling... hugs ok? are u seeing any gynae or tcm currently? sorry ah my memory no gd. cannot rmb if u told us b4?
 
SloshySoupy said:
damn.. i feels like some true blue suar gu now. Dun do FB and dunno this and dunno that...
Click to expand...

It is okie! I have never seen that sophisticated tester before, maybe gynae will have more advanced ones to pick up the faintest clue of pregnancy!
FB is a double-edged sword.
 
SloshySoupy said:
wa, bel, er.. may i ask watz that you r using? looks sophisticated.. u mean you can customized the tester and add in your own name? sorry, other than hpk, i never seen anything like that...
Click to expand...
hihi .. thats the brand: Alere TestPack
i did the test at GP's clinic .. coz frustrated with my 5 opk strips.. no doubt clearblue test i did tt day already show me pregnant 1 - 2 wks..
the nurse use marker and wrote my name on it.. tis is those type of dropper test kit.. juz need 2 3 drops of urine..

Emily Tan said:
oh hahaha so u were e one sharing e same name as me eh. i rmb one lady told me but i doono was u haha. my memory no good. hee hee..
Click to expand...

haha nvm la! msgs fly across forum one day alot of time v hard to rem also...

Emily Tan said:
oh y like tt? i tot clearblue cfm ur pregnancy and it is 2-3weeks?
Click to expand...

clearblue results is 1 -2 wks.. i tink the opk strips i bought from qoo is too weak to pick up my hcg.. i bought from Win Accessories fyi.. haha

SloshySoupy said:
YES!!!!!!!

ok.. I got a confession. and pls pls pls dun laugh coz itz very very very unbelievable (I know coz that's wat all my friends say..)

I dun really use fb.. in fact I dun do fb. weird huh.. I dunno but I never see the need for it. I know fb is good, can share pics info etc but I just am not into it....

i feel like a weird nut whenever pple ask if i got fb account and i said not exactly (used to have one yrs ago but i was inactive and i even forgot my password liao.. so i just dun do fb anymore...)

in these FB era, i am one helluva unbelievable case...:eek:
Click to expand...

tell u my bff also don hv FB u are not alone!
 

baby_sparkles said:
Nah ivf to me is nothin compared to my desire to have my own bb.... I am so desperate n willing to do anything .. Was even crazy to buy precious stones as some say aid in fertility

I'm not brave... As many women here r more brave than me :)

I also lost my "baby" at 8 weeks this jan and had to drag myself for cny... Haiz life goes on ..... Have to carry on marching till I reach my goal
Click to expand...


it must have been devastating.. i think about it i also wanna cry my eyes out...
 
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