(2013) ivf/icsi mummies Support group

Lil: My CL is not from Agency, thru friend recommendation. Initially my friend recommended another CL but the CL cant make it, so ask my current one to help. I have told her not to use her phone when she is with the baby and the radiation will affect her brain.

Hopefully things will become better.

Ladies, im a bit scared to handle the baby after my CL leaves. Now if the bb cries, i can pass to my CL. But later i will have to deal with her myself. Any tips to share.
 


Psp: maybe you can start to bath or dress or feed the baby one week bef CL is leaving . Once you gain confidence, you shd be fine .
 
Psp, don't worry it's very normal to feel scared. It took me weeks to get used to baby's screaming without feeling scared. In fact, it was only last week (week5) that I broke down and cried when my baby's screaming was inconsolable. It helped to share my feelings with DH. I handle it better now but it's very natural that we have a limit. When we reached it, it's okay to hand the baby to someone else for 10 minutes or so for us to have a breather and then come back and continue. This way we won't lose patience with baby. Take care.

Egg Factory, rest in first month first. It's important that you recover well and fully. This way you will be able to care for baby better and have more energy.
 
Dian tang, ya, it's amazing how bb can sense when asleep right? Just like how bb knows we're gonna put him down in his cot when his butt hasn't even touched the mattress!

Alison, I can totally understand your anxiety now. I cried when my CL left. It's true you will get more confident eventually but you will still have limits as lil said. Just yesterday I was so tired and I couldn't calm bb down. I was so frustrated I walked out and told hubby to go settle him. I went down to the poolside and I could hear bb crying! I live on the 8th floor btw. Omg, bb can really wake up the whole neighbourhood when he cries!
 
Ladies: My gal also same pattern. Refuse to sleep and keep crying after 7pm until my neighbor pop by and ask if baby is okie..Sigh.....
 
Thanks ladies. I guess the initial first and 2nd week
after CL leaves will be critical. Currently I'm bf my bb so she is still attached to me. I try to carry and spend more time with bb otherwise she might be too attached to CL. But she is v cranky and impatient. Cry for no reason and always bully my hubby. When my hubby carries her, she cries.

Koirc: How did you overcome? Just let ur bb cry?
 
Egg factory, my twin b stomach is filled with gas. Doctor said one possible reason is that cry too much (or wrong feeding/burping technique). My CL has also objected to my suggestion of letting my twin a cry it out at such an early age as from her exp the baby will end up with lots of gas in tummy.
 
Alison, I try different ways of carrying lor. Pop pacifier and rock him to sleep.

Now that bb can flip over, he kept doing that when we put him on his back to sleep. It's becoming a bit challenging to make him sleep now!
 
Ladies, bb doesn't cry so much at my mum's place and is more bubbly. Is it because bb doesn't like his own house?
sad.gif
 
Mofmm: hmm ok i guess its true, crying produces wind.

Ladies, ever heard of a thing called 'baoyun dan' which is some herb to put into bb's mouth to calm him? My CL suggested that coz my bb will suddenly get startled during his sleep and cry very loudly. Is it a superstitious thing or does it have scientific basis? She said it's not superstition n can be bought from eu yan sang..
 
Sade, no leh. BB spends the same amount of time at home as he is at mum's place.

Egg factory, I think it's common for bb to get startled in his sleep leh. Part of moro reflex mah. My bb still get startled till now and moro reflex get better gradually and should be ok after 4 months (at least that's what I read). I refused to let bb take anything apart from milk. My CL also suggested letting bb drink dunno what herbs when bb had jaundice but I refused. I prefer to ride it out and just give bb milk.
 
koirc I think ur mum has a way to handle bb hence bb more happy at her place. maybe ur mum plays with him well.

egg factory I agreed with koirc. I bought fr eu yan sang as recommmend by my friend but din feed bb. as I read abt the moro reflex too. yes think aft four month bb is ok.
 
Oh koirc and sade thanks. Ya i am hesitant about putting anything on baby's lips. The CL make it sound so bad like my bb is traumatized. I googled and found out the reason why he cries out during his sleep. Because CL always carry him until he falls into a deep sleep, then she puts him on bed. When he wakes up and realizes he is alone, he will cry. The problem is how to reverse this?? I can't keep carrying the bb when CL leaves.. I need to cook n do housework.. How to train him to fall asleep independently in 1 month?
 
Koirc, as least you got a happy baby when he is at your mum place? And if needed, you can put your baby to your mum place when you go back to work and you know that your baby is well taken care of..

Whiteclover, how old is old? My husband want to try this cry it out method on my boys but I can't bare to see them cry.. Everytime when they cry in the car, I so tempted to climb to the back and carry them up..

Egg factory, I think my boys are like yours.. What I did and told my inlaw is to put the baby down when they are half asleep and continue to pat them on their bed till they sleep. No carrying them to deep sleep then put them down.. But sometime really desperate measure coz we are really tired we also carry them to deep sleep then put them down or even carry them in our hands.. Sigh.. I want to break this too. My biceps and wrist are very painful from the carrying.
 
Egg Factory and Saralyn, same here. It was a bad night last night. I got up twice to relieve CL because baby kept crying and won't sleep. This morning, CL again declared him the 2nd most difficult baby to care for. And when I picked him up, she snapped at me for keep carrying him hence baby won't sleep unless held. I'm not upset that she snapped at me because fatigue and lack of sleep is crippling. I just don't know how to strike a balance between holding enough so baby feels secure and not hold too much until baby needs to be carried to sleep. Can't fall asleep by himself.

On top of that, my milk supply is dwindling. CL says its because baby doesn't latch. Baby is drinking more too. Had to take out some of my frozen ones today to supplement. Honestly, I don't think I'll be able to produce much milk and pump on time after CL leaves. Think will have to stop after this month and buy formula milk to standby.

Koirc, all the best for returning to work this week. Maybe it's not specifically your mum's house but just a change of scene and your mum playing with baby. But it's good, at least you know he is well taken care of there.

I really hope that my baby will become a happy baby. He hasn't learn to smie as a response yet. So right now, it just seems he s either sleeping or crying
sad.gif
 
Lil, try taking fenugreek, red date drinks, red bean soup etc.. It helps to boosts the supply and you must pump regularly.. My supply has always been up down and one session of yield is never enough.. I have been supplementing fm to them till last few weeks when they drop one night feed.. But soon I have to give fm coz their intake is gonna increased too.. Why don't train your boy to latch again? I know is hard going into war but is for the better of you and him?

This morning my boy refused bottle and want me. I don't know to be happy or not..

Oh.. Regarding the crying and sleeping baby.. Do you still remember I did post this over here before? I guess is part of their growing up phrase.. Bare with it! Soon, they will be smiling at you or even laugh! Haha! Jiayou!!
 
Saralyn, ya before trying fenugreek, I'm trying to get baby to latch more. Just started doing that yesterday. Yesterday he latched for around 5mins and today, it was 10mins. I consider this a success. Ha ha! Hopefully it helps. I already pump very regularly now. Both my boobs have never been this soft!

Oh be happy baby wants you instead of bottle!!
happy.gif


Yes, we are bearing with it
happy.gif
It just we get so worn out in the middle of the night with the screaming and no sleeping. But when he does fall asleep eventually, he is so cute and angelic
happy.gif
Each day, DH and I tell ourselves that we are 1 day closer to less crying/fussiness and hopefully sleeping through the night.

Personally, I don't think it is possible to spoil a baby that is so young by carrying too much but my CL seems to think otherwise. I think she is doing her countdown until next Friday when she leaves! Ha ha!
 
Lil Ponyo: I like ur positiveness ! Today I was quite vexed with the baby crying . Maybe was tired so short tempered toward DH and bb . Anyway I also read that bb will not be spoil for these stages , infact they fe el more secure .
 
Lil, I haven't gone back to work actually. Going back end of the month. I have 20 weeks of maternity leave. :p
 
I am now preparing for house moving. It's so tiring to pack and pack and pack! And sometimes I feel so lost like how to pack huh? Hahaha...
 
Saralyn: Can't imagine how tired you are with 2 boys. Yah, we are supposed to carry baby till he is half-asleep, then put him on the bed so that he can associate the bed with going to sleep. If not, he will cry if he suddenly wakes up and find himself on a bed (and not in someone's arms). However, this doesn't work with my boy... he just needs to be carried till he is fully asleep, or sometimes he will sleep after he is fed. My CL also suggested things like beanbags and sarong beds to help him sleep.

lil ponyo: sometimes CL's words can be discouraging, but I don't really take her words that seriously. She also keeps saying my baby needs to be held more than others, he is insecure, etc. and she makes a lot of jokes which offends me sometimes. And she's also a bit superstitious, like after I bring baby out, I have to call his name when I bring him back home, that kind of thing...

I also don't believe that baby will be spoiled at such an early stage and I am not going to try the 'cry it out' method. I believe babies need to know they can trust us to make them feel secure.
 
Lil, yay for the latching on part!! Soon he will get back to latching!! Actually soft breasts don't mean you got no milk in it.. I do noticed mine also soft but when I pump sometime I can see quite alot coming out esp letdown time..

Koirc, so nice to have 20 weeks of ml!! You added your own leave? Happy packing and moving! I also don't like to pack. That time when I move to my current place I also don't know how to start to pack and when moved, I don't know how to start to unpack! Haha

Egg factory, Lil, I guess is not just CL issue.. Whenever you get someone to help you will have to tolerate some stuffs which you don't like from them. Recently my fil is using words which I don't like.. Like "xxxx, your head la".. Was abit upset.. But I have no choice as I needed the help..
 
Regarding carrying baby, one of my boys has gotten used to be carry to sleep now. He used to be able to sleep on his own with pacifier but now, once on the bed, he will scream!! And will only calm down and fall asleep when we carry him. Is this consider spoilt?
 
Babysmurf & Saralyn, out of the additional 4 weeks, 2 weeks are personal leave - 1 week from last year and 1 week from this year. The other 2 weeks are bonus from my boss. I was going to work from home 2 weeks before my EDD. Who knows my waterbag broke on the very first day. So my boss just let me start maternity leave w/o having to take additional leave. That's why I have 20 weeks in total. But time flies, I will be going back soon!

Ladies, I think this is going to be a stupid qn but can anyone tell me if it's alright to bottle feed baby when baby is lying down? Means no carrying, like baby just lie on his back on bed and you pop the bottle in the mouth. MIL said bb will choke but if that's the case then when do we let bb use those mugs with handles that are suitable for 3+? Bb can only lie down to hold the mug right?
 
saralyn, my girl used to be like that, but she outgrown it herself. Maybe it's a passing phrase. But my friend's son is still like that at 5 months plus.
Maybe it's depend on personal luck in taking care of bb, some bb r easier to manage while some bb r more fussy.

Better dont try the crying out method. Had read an article abt it and it's not advisable to do it.

As for baby who cries for few hours a day few times a week, it might mean that bb is suffering from colic.
 
Whiteclover, ok thanks! Will let my husband knows to try this cry it out method only when they are 4 months

Koirc, you got good boss! Time flies! It have been 10 weeks for me already.. Soon I will be back to work too. I don't know how to manage..

Sade, oh man.. I hope my boys will outgrown it. Is too tiring to carry and pat them to sleep. They are getting heavy too.. My hands and wrists are aching!

Lil, hope your boy is doing better now and not so fussy.
happy.gif


How is my twins mummies, mofmm and small bunny, doing along?
 
Hi Saralyn: May I know what is the crying method? My bb has this problem as yrs, hv to carry and once I put her on bed shf cries. It seems like only e CL can handle my bb. I'm really very scared if I can handle after CL leaves. I can't carry her like how e CL does

Lil: how is ur bb? Latching well?

Sade: hv you continue withur post natal massage? I signed a 30 times package with her. My hb keeps complaining my tummy v big..

Babysmurf: did u receive my FB invite? Hw old is ur bb now?
 
Alison, you can go to this URL to know more about this CIO, http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc. Is basically letting your baby to cry when they are put down to sleep. As whiteclover's pd says, it better to use it on 4 months old and later.. Is really heart wrenching to see them cry and not going to carry them.. I tried afew time.. Coz I was way too tired to carry them and leave them there to cry.. 5 mins or even lesser I quickly carry them up.. Too poor thing to let them cry non stop..
sad.gif
 
Hi Saralyn, have my hands full at the moment with doctor appointments and all the vaccinations. Am so tired that I have given up the 4am pump the past two nights. Just sleep from 12 to 6 wake up then pump. Luckily supply maintaining at 1500 odd but think well stop after 4 months. Taking too much find away from the twins. It's so tough coping even with a maid and CL but things are what they are and we just have to cope the best we can... U said your twins are 10 weeks? When are you going back to work?

Oh yes wanted to ask u - do your twins sleep together in the same room?
 
Alison, my stomach also very big leh. You know I did 15 days post-natal jamu massage. Now I am trying the Chinese slimming massage. I hope it will help.

Why is it so quiet here lately? Hope, Reikibaby, Znatasha, how are your babies? Going 4mo... So fast!
 
Koirc: I guess we all busy taking care of little one . I think u still look slim . Since poly, u have been slim and I guess u shd able to lose wt quite fast !
 
Mofmm, ya.. Is really very tiring to look after 2.. My helper is finally coming next week thus I hope I can get abit more of my own time.. Recently I also keep missing my alarms to pump in the night.. Everytime I will jump up from my bed knowing I missed my pump session again!! How much your girls are drinking now?

Ya.. My boys are 10 weeks old already!! Finally 2 digits.. Haha.. My official back to work date is mid sept.. I have arranged to work from home for most of the time.. But looking at the situation now, I don't think I have any time to work at all.. Sigh.. Thinking how am I going to manage my time..

Yes, they sleep in the same cot somemore! But we will separate them soon when my helper is ready to look after one during the night.. We will take one and she will take the other..
 
psp only 5 times with her cos no one help to take care of bb while doing my massage. u still doing massage with her now? she said I looked like a japanese, dont look like a local. maybe she might rem me.
I still hv a tummy despite losing 15kg. think my tummy difficult to lose it. might take yr bah. haiz. cos for c sec cant massage tummy.
 
Dear ladies,

do u mind sharing issit crucial to rest for more than 2 days after FET huh? I will like to know what is your opinion ..

what is your experience doing FET huh? Diet to look out for huh?
 
Saralyn my babies are still happily in my tummy. Getting too big for me to be comfortable. Was trying to ask gynae if possible for c sect next wk cos twin a is breech but she said no in case babies lungs not fully developed. She told me to hang in there for another wk ie wk 37.
 
Dian tang, I actually didn't put on much weight during pregnancy. In fact I am back to my pre pregnancy weight and body frame. Just that my tummy is very stubborn. It's really huge like 4-5 mths pregnant leh! :'(

Sunbelle, I actually went back to work the next day after FET cos I didn't tell anyone at work that I was going through IVF. I think you just need to be very careful. I didn't have any special diet but I tried not to take cold stuff. Hope this helps.
 
Hi mummies to be, I'm from the jan thread. Good day to all of u and sorry to side track here abit.

Mummies, anyone keen on getting a doppler? M selling mine cos my DH bought for me not knowing that I have alrdy borrowed from my friend. I used once only. Comes with the gel also. It says to use from 12 weeks but I use on week 10 (last week) n I can detect the hb. Original price was $168 but offer so DH bought at $138. Am selling it for $100. Can self collect at Chinatown or can mail to buyer but mail charges to b borne by buyer. Interested pm me ya.
8591731.jpg
 
Hi Saralyn, yup I am not sure if I can work from home either. The babies demand so much time and I rather be with th than a laptop.

Hi Koirc, probably the thread is quiet cos our hands are full with the babies! Only free time I have to surf is when pumping.
 
Koirc: did u try the clinch post natal wrap ? My massage lady also ask me to apply firming cream . Prob it take some time to firm up the tummy area, tummy tuck? I also have the same prob as u . I hope to lose more wt as my pre preg wt was quite high too .. Lol
 
Koirc, Dian tang, you 2 know each other in since poly days?? So nice to meet here..

Mofmm, ya.. Can't believe such little living being can demand so much time and attention from us..

Ya.. I am so busy with the boys too.. Can only read and surf net when nursing or pumping..

Small bunny, very soon!! Yes, is better to wait till week 37.. Your doc didn't give you jab to mature the lungs?
 
Koirc, Hihi! Yah baby is already 4 months. So happy to see her growing day by day Hee. My tummy is still there too but abit smaller Liao. I started going yoga once a week and had my first jog last week! Was aching like hell haha. I'm back to pre preg weight Liao but determined to lose the tummy also lei Hee.
 
Dian tang, I wish I can spend money to go for tummy tuck. Haha...

Saralyn, yes, dian tang and I knew each other in poly. We didn't know till we join the fb group. Haha...

Hope, I also started yoga and went swimming just now. Omg, I haven't swum for a year and I really has no stamina.
sad.gif
 
Hi Saralyn, I have met some mothers of twins too and apparently this is the easy part where they sleep a lot. It apparently gets more tiring the older they become and while I want them to grow up fast so we can stop the night feeds and understand why they cry, I also don't want to miss a moment of their childhood.

Hi Hope, I haven't even thought about exercise for a long time...
 


Saralyn: ha ha ya we know each other since only . Only know when we join fb group.

Koirc: ha ha I didn't know stomach tuck Is a procedure. i thought is a form of exercise.. pai seh.Guess we can go by the natural way ., abdominal exercise .. Yes I also like swimming . Hope I can start soon
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

bee lee
  • Locked
  • Sticky
Chatgroup for 2026 Mummies & Daddies
Replies
0
Views
559
bee lee
bee lee
A
Lax regulation of IVF embryo selection may decrease Singapore’s fertility rate
Replies
0
Views
516
Angelica Cheng
A
N
Seeking Advice: TCM for Age-Related Fertility – 40yo
Replies
1
Views
1K
hopeful2322
H
N
Looking for Natural Fertility Support – Age 40, Exploring TCM Options
Replies
0
Views
990
Naw2017
N
N
Finding for good IVF doctor in KKH
Replies
0
Views
1K
Nat75
N

Back
Top