(2011/12) Dec 2011

when baby poo, only stain a bit nia.... i uses 2 pieces of liner... (extra thick ma) and once throw into washing machine its clean... so no need worry... if worry then set a rinse cycle before an actual wash cycle....



My granny uses hand wash, it easily comes off too...



coz i wanted to save $ thats why use cloth diaper... i see my sis in law eveerytime need go chiong buy diaper when have sales... then very fast use 1 pack liao...



and cloth diaper can use for more than 1 baby... quite durable...





some ppl dun wan use... coz ma fan... use and throw better, but sometimes nappy rash can be quite painful and have to use alot nappy cream, extra expenses...





dun worry, if baby come out liao they will not feel the same liao... they will "snatch" from u liao haha

 


Jac, my in-law's also like not enthusiastic about my pregnancy. Since pregnant, they never ask me anything about it. Everything also my hubby 'report' to them, not they ask out of curiousity. My MIL also never prepare anything special for me, neither did she ask what I crave for or notice that sometimes I eat very little or never eat because I don't like the food. Instead she caters to her granddaughter who drops by once a week and cook all her favourite dishes when my baby inside is her grandson, not to mention the first grandson to carry their surname. I also don't wanna go into the traditional part, even my parents also think that it's better I have a boy now because my FIL is advanced in age thinking that it will make him very happy. I'm not sure if he is coz he didn't show his feelings about it also. My parents are on the contrary so happy for me especially my dad when he learn that I'm expecting a boy. I can tell from his tone, he somehow wished that my baby carries his surname instead. He was already saying 'next time I ask him to call me 'ah gong' not 'wai gong'. So different..

 
Jac, same! I also do housework, etc and nobody help me. But luckily is only cleaning 1 small room but it is getting more difficult coz bump getting bigger. My hubby helps with the changing of bedsheet coz we heard may affect baby if I change but I do all the rest. My MIL don't help me with any of this one lor, not that I expect her to but sometimes I thought can 'shun bian' clean or wash together mah, but she never one..

 
hmm.. dawn, maybe i should really consider really using nappy? actually my mum wants to use nappy.. she say since i doing confinement back home, she can help me wash also.. maybe i shouldnt really bother so much abt them and think more for my baby hor?? see how lah. lolx. lets hope they will really be more enthu when my boy boy arrives...



kimiko, mine almost same case lor.. my MIl also nv ask anything de.. only my hubby tell her if got news like when i preg... when we know its a boy.. other than that, i dun remember my MIL asking me anything special.. oh ya, only ask if i got take rice wine or not lor.. den after that no more news le. My FIL passed away a few years back le.. thats y i thought a bit yihan for him.. didnt get to see his son get married and have kids.. ur in-laws traditional type or?? my MIL is modern MIL lah! goes clubbing every weekend and gai gai de.. so maybe i should expect much also.. and shouldnt expect everyone to be like my family...

my dad although nv show alot expression but can see he will worried for me and keep asking me dun anyhow take sinseh med.. he even came down immediately to pick me up.. plus, he ownself initiative help me think of baby's chinese name coz he knows me and hubby got limited chinese vocab and FIL not ard le..



from married until now, 1st time i really miss my family lor..

 
haha! kimiko, same lah! only 1 room but this room will kill me le.. duno y alot dust and dirts.. and need to wash clothes, sometimes wipe dog's poo and pee area.. and the best part, i dun see my SIL doing anything.. not even washing her own clothes!!!

i thought of waiting for hubby come back change bedsheet.. but he confirm very tired le and will be very late. plus i buay tahan do things half way de.. whole room clean le nv change bedsheet feels incomplete! haha!

 
my mil also nv really ask... only keep asking me gender nia, nv cook stuff for me etc... ask me wanna eat wat ask my hubby buy....



actually if mil nv ask much sometimes also not bad, else very naggy, tell u cannot do this, cannot eat that, cannt like this, cannot like that very irritating de

 
Hmmm.. My in-laws are the more traditional type but not to the extent of like everything must follow last time. Probably traditional yet also flexible that kind. What I dont like about my MIL is that sometimes we tell her Doctor says cannot eat this or that, she will say things like 'why cannot, who say cannot'.. Already told her doctor say cannot, cannot be she better than doctor right? My FIL is the quiet type, in short they are not the 'expressive' type I guess. Then again it also depends on situation. Unlike when I'm home for short stay, my parents kept feeding me coz they heard my MIL don't cater to what I eat so they cook and buy all sorts of things that I like to eat + healthy for me.



Jac, you must be careful when doing housework, dont strain yourself.

 
ya ya!! same same.. my mum will ask what i wanna eat... my in-law hse nv cook de.. everyday eat out or tabao... den my parents also always ask me if can, now preg, better go home eat.. better dun always eat out.. sigh... bo bian lah.. our mum is always diff...

my MIL is kind of expressive type but in a way complaining abt her stuff only lor.. and always say unhappy must say out.. but seeing her talk about her stuff or colleagues, i also dare not say too much to her coz i felt its not that easy.. she is a modern mum and thinking not easy de... maybe you mil didnt know really cannot eat because some things they prob also eat when preg with ur hubby and other siblings?? nexttime maybe u dun say doc say cannot... u say u dun feel like eating, or baby dun like? or will vomit when eat??



i dun do often lah.. usually once a month.. cannot tahan see so dirty and dusty!!

 
Hmmm.. I dont think I can say those things to her coz though she don't usually say things out, but sometimes she not happy she keep quiet and complain to other ppl behind our backs. Her thinking very backwards, everything also 'last time I also like that', bla bla bla.. Not easy to change her thinking also no point argue with her because of all that. I just eat what I can and want to eat. Thats why I keep a lot of food around in case I really got nothing to eat. It's much better now, it was the worst during MS period when sometimes I smell her food I also feel like vomiting.

 
When I had my first pregnancy, my in laws also never ask how I am, make soup for me (even though they are cantonese and my MIL loves cooking and entertains a lot). When I go over for dinner, she serves me roti prata (those you can buy from NTUC) !



Once she made birds nest soup. But I realised it is for everyone to drink and I did not get special portion. In fact, they fed some birds nest to their cat instead!



On the night before my C-section, I asked if they are going to the hospital to greet my baby. My FIL say "aiya no big deal lah".

Made me cry 4 hours before I fell asleep and next day go deliver baby with swollen eyes and a very hurtful feeling.



For my confinement, I did it at their place but after 2 weeks, went into such deep depression cos they simply did not care much and left me and my confinement nanny alot to our chores and babycare lor. In the end, my hubby took me home with confinement nanny to continue my last 2 weeks of confinement. Absurd right?!?



After my #1 is born, things just changed. I totally cannot treat them the same as I used to, which is as good as I treat my own parents. Did not talk as much to them and only recently, now after 2 years, I cool down and decided to be friendlier again even tho I am still hurt that they don't seem to care. As for my #1, somehow, she is not as close to them as she is to my parents also lor. Guess during my pregnancy, my 'hurt' feelings did get to her too.



Now with this pregnancy, same lah, they don't ask if I am feeling okay or what I want to eat. Instead, I openly say, hmmm I need to drink chicken soup leh. But then also no action from them la.



All I can say is, I have stopped expecting anything from my in laws. How can they love me like my own parents???? I just try not to think too much into it these days so it wont affect my #2.

 
Woah Betsmok, that comment is really hurtful. I feel like 'sayang-ing' you after reading what you wrote. It felt especially painful when you treat them like your own parents. Least for me, I could never treat them like my own parents because the family background is simply too different to do so. My in-laws' age can almost be my grandparents' age because my hubby is 7yrs older and he is the 3rd child. It is so difficult to communicate to them so I just try my best not to get in their way and they don't really get into my skin either.



Anyhow, it is not necessary for them to do anything for us since we can always treat ourselves better especially now that we are pregnant.. Hee Hee.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Don't think too much about them ya?

 
Re: in-laws



I have my own problems with them. To start with, I have my mil, bil & sil to deal with (my fil passed away b4 my marriage). bil is hubby's elder brother. Initially b4 I got married & b4 #1 was born, I stay with my mil. The flat belongs to my hubby & bil (cos last time bil apply that flat with fiance but broke off so no choice have to add my hubby name to get the flat, b4 that the 3 of them stay in the grandma's place, my hubby came from a not well-to-do family). After getting married, we waited for our chance to ballot for a new flat until we got our own place, hubby withdraw his ownership from that flat and bil refinance his loan but then he need to top up cash to pay part of the mortgage. My bil's job is stationed in bangkok so his relationship with previous gfs did not last long. I moved to new house after #1 was born in 2008 (got preggie a month after customary so no enuff time to do reno & stuff cos only got the flat when I was abt 5 mths). Mil stayed alone in that flat ever since my nightmare comes early Apr this year...BIL got married 2 yrs ago to a Thai gal out of wedlock. The wife came over to stay and give birth here while bil travel to & fro SG-BKK.



Then one fine day in early this year, mil told us that bil wants to sell the flat, reason being can't afford to fork out cash to pay mortgage for the 5-rm & wants to downgrade to a 4-rm flat as cost of living rises and need to spend on kids...blah blah blah... BTW, sil is not working, she can hardly speak english so cant really work moreover her boy is only 2 now. But the classic thing happens....sil got pregnant unplanned, only realised shortly after bil announced that he want to sell the flat. And worse thing is he continue with his idea to sell the flat. Indeed he sold the flat b4 even committing in a deal to buy another one. so end up mil & sil & the toddler no place to stay after they hand over the flat in Apr. Then sil with her 4 mth preggie status went back to BKK with her #1. Mil wants to come to my house to stay...I was super stressed up that time cos I moved out in the 1st first because I dont want to stay with her mah.. Our way of living is very different...currently my mum comes over every evening to fetch my #1 back from CC and cooked dinner for us so I dont want to change the current situation cos I love my mum's cooking can cant simply eat what my mil cooks. After that, she changed her mind...she decided to the late grandma's flat to stay (currently occupied by 2 unmarried uncles). I was relieved but bad news came last night. After sil came back to give birth in June, her #2 is almost full month now, she is staying at the late grandma's place as well. It is a 3-rm flat and cramped for all of them...bil was here 3 weeks when she gave birth so all squeeze there. However, coming Aug, sil is going back to BKK with her 2 kids cos bil rented a bigger unit there, a condo in precise. Then mil called to inform hubby that she will come over to stay.



The problem is I plan to put my cot in 1 of the bedroom and I sleep with bb alone without disturbing hubby during nite times. I cant let her stay in that room cos I dont have space to let #1 and bb cot in my mbr. So I intend to house her in my boy's playroom by getting her a new bed...have to talk to my hubby abt my plans but afraid that he will be unhappy. Having headaches on this issue once again....I can't stop thinking if my bil's whole family will come my place to stay whenever they come back to SG....I am so paranoid now. I am fine that mil is coming to stay...i try to 看开. My worst worry is my bil & family. I dun wish to offer my flat as a hotel to them lor. I treasure my privacy so much...



Hope mummies here pardon me for writing a whole lot to vent my frustrations.

 
Betsmok,



I understand how you feel when you fil said that to you cos when my #1 was born with jaundice, my mil blamed me and I cried too. Since then, I dont feel like being too close to her anymore.

 
Verene, I can understand the direction of your frustration. I figured that I would feel the same if I'm in your shoes. I really can't imagine if suddenly your BIL squeeze in with his whole family and impose on you and your hubby. Because when that happens, it may become a permanent thing. Maybe you should try to speak to your husband before such things happen. These things are very sensitive and usually not nice to come out of our mouths, it would be better for our husbands to handle.

 
Kimiko,



My hubby doesn't have a good temper to start with so I need to be extra tactful when I talk to him on such issues, in order not to end up in a quarrel. It is indeed a great struggle for myself. Bil and family are nice people but staying together is a diff story altogether. But, I am pretty upset by their so called plans which is getting on my nerves. They are trying to buy a new flat but ended up finding they cant afford to do so anymore cos I suspect they might had spent most of the COV money on all sort of stuff, quite a bit on luxury items like ipad and a tag heur watch. then complain they cant afford to buy a flat cos price so high and bil keep complaining against the gov on the high cost.

 
Thanks all mummies to be for your kind support n encouragement..I had just delivered my bb @ 5.57pm just now..I will be leaving this forum today and hope every mummies will have a smooth pregnancy and a chubby bb..

I hope my bb boy will find his way to heaven and god will bless him with gd health in another wonderful place..



Mama ash,please help to remove my name from the forum..



Once again,thanks

 
Hi Wendy

My heart really grieve when I hear the news [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Dunno wat to say except be strong n take care of urself

Ur bb boy is at the good hand of the Lord now

Take care n God bless ya

 
I've not been posting for quite a long time but following & reading closely on posts each & everyday.



Nothing much to update on myself except that have been in foul mood lately.



Wendy: I'm so sorry to hear the news. It made me teared & sad...U've been trying ur best to keep ur baby but heaven loves him more. Yes, he will be in a better & wonderful place. And u have to keep strong too! Take care & rest well ok?



To other mummies, do take care too ya...Hope everyone is in good health.

 
Wendy, so sorry to hear that. I totally understand ur feeling cos I also gave birth to my twin daughters at week 20. Your little angel is in good hands. Lots of hugm

 
Wendy, my heart really goes out to you when I read it. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] I believe with his mummy's love, he will go find his way to heaven. Please take good care of yourself.

 
Dear Wendy,



My eyes welled up with tears reading your latest post. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, very sorry for your loss. I lost one before and totally understand how you feel now.



BB will rest in peace, please take good care of yourself and recover well. It will probably take some time for you to get over, but please do not give up trying again.

 
I am really really sorry to hear this that I am loss for words and cried. Hugz... You have been the best fighter for your boy and vice versa. Pls take good care of yourself and recover your health meanwhile.

 
Verene: I'm also staying with my in-laws & a 50yrs old, single, full of sicknesses, lazy & troublesome SIL. I think your BIL shouldn't impose on you with his entire family. But I think your hubby will still house him no matter what as they're brothers unless they're not closely bonded. If so, no choice but to bear with all the inconveniences & unhappiness lor... Agreed that PIL are not the same as our own parents but there're exceptions. My PIL are nice tho I still prefer my own mom as hubby claims that I'm bias no matter what..ha..ha.. I do get to know them better ever since I stop working so seeing them day & night at home...closer ties now.. They also realize that I'm a spoilt girl so daren't ask me to do any housework..anyway, no need since we've a maid at home.



Re: nappy vs diapers

Disposable diapers are costly, not environmental friendly & may cause skin irritation if wear day & night. My kids wore nappies in the daytime & Pampers at night coz I didn't want to wake up at night to change diapers. I remember newborns have lots of smelly poos in the 1st few wks + yearend wet weather so likely will use disposables during that period b4 switching to cloth diapers. Anyway, I've maid to help me wash.. More hygienic to rinse the soiled diapers b4 putting it to the washing machine. FYI, Mothercare has colored & printed cloth diapers if you're willing to spend more for beauty.



Wendy: Press on! All the efforts will pay off when you cuddle your bundle of joy when he's born. Keep staying positive. Will keep you in prayer.



Jac/Kimiko: Don't overstrain yourself when you do housework. Nothing is mire important than your baby & health so be careful.

 
Wendy: Juz rad your latest update after my posting. Sad to hear the news. Be brave & move on. Your boy will be in His good hands in heaven. Pls take care & rest well.

 
Wendy I am so sorry for your loss. I am tearing as I type and my heart is heavy. Your baby boy is in the safe hand of the lord.



Do take care and stay strong.

 
Wendy - my heart goes out to you. Your boy has been such a fighter. Do take care, nurse back your health and when you are ready, try again.....

 
CP,



I managed to tell out my plans for mil staying over to my hubby jus now. Sounded him on the new bed and her sleeping in the playroom. Hubby say she won't stay till my due date lah but can't confirm when I ask further like how u know & ask on how long is she staying in. He had the impression that his mum will stay for a few mths only so can sleep in the other bedroom which I named it as my own mum's room since my mum used stayed with me b4 #1 goes full day cc. now she goes back to work early in the morning so the room is vacant except for her off day. she comes and stay over every sun and cook better meals on monday when she is not working. When I question on how long mil is staying since he say a while only, he cant answer and sort of give in to my suggestion. Then I quickly say find time to bring her to choose her own bed in seahorse shop. Then I brought up the issue of my bil on staying over if they come back, he himself mention no space for them to bunk in. I told him I dont expect them to come over and his comment left me at ease for now. Hope everything turns out well.

 
Abt weight gain- I think I am one of the heavier gainers here. I gained 7kg alrdy at week 21. And most in tri 2 - 500 g/ week. And the best thing is I didnt eat much and no tonic at all. And my bump only visible this week! Gynae very surprised but nv ask me to watch my weight leh, say steady weight gain, v gd! Errr....she concluded it's cos I drink lotsa milk...my only craving!



So bleeding gums + bb v big = possible diabetes ah? And must take test? The urine test at each visit not gd enough to monitor is it?

 
CP, thanks for your concern. I won't strain myself and my hubby will help me with those heavy stuffs so not so bad.



Verene, thats good news! I wished you all the best as well.



Stardust, you are no. 3 behind TIE and me.. Keke..

 
Hi Wendy,



Pls take care n try again next time. I know how grieved u will be bcoz I have a close fren who lost her twins b4 n I could share her grief with her. U have tried ur best n this is not something u can control.

 
hi all i just went to the Taka fair and saw two brands of cot. One is Bon bebe and Victoria. both are $399 but Victoria is hardwood and comes with mattress and drawer below. Bon bebe is pinewood and comes with mattress. Dunno which one to get and dunno whether to get. Anyone used these brands b4 and have any comments?

 
Wendy, both u n yr boy had done yr v best! Pls take care & nurse bk yr health ... Live to the fullest ... Jiayou

 
Thanks everyone..in fact,this lovely boy is a fighter.even before pushing him out,his strong hb is still there..though I knw he is goin away very soon..I hope it is just an illusion or a nightmare..but it is not..time wasnt with me though I just need that extra 7weeks more and at least he will b 24th weeks then n things will b very different..

My lovely boy is my 2nd miscarriage though n I lost my 1st child in yr 2008 aso on 27th but November..today marked my 2nd loss of my lovely bb on the same date but different month n yr..he is 17weeks old n weighing @ 265grams..



I would also like to thank my gynae dr Roland Chieng for his tremendous effort as well as his nurses,wendy n nuru,dr aziz who come forward for his advise and fluid transfer to my womb,and 1 of my motherhood forum Frenx Valeria who come and visit me n supported me thru out the whole pregnancy n difficult times n last but not least,my wonderful hubby who is always there for me during this pregnancy of mine n supported me so much during my ivf session ESP when I am down with ohss,n hospitalization..we have spent tonns of $$ on this lovely bb but he never complain or make a single noise..



Thanks dear for being you and thanks for being such a dearie to me..I love u n our bb and I love everyone in the forum..thank you..

 
Hi Wendy, very sad to hear of your loss. My heart goes to you and your baby... Be strong k?



Hi Gals, am a second time mummy here.. Due late Dec. Wanted to chat in the forum here but so busy with my little boy after work and office dun allow me to login to SMH forum...

 
Wendy, I should feel happy that you are still going strong despite all that but I can't help but feel sad for you. My tears just fall uncontrollably when I read your latest post. Please don't give up and take care till your next try.

 
Wendy,



U seem calm n strong from ur post n I hope that u remain this way. Time won't erase all hurt n grief but it will help in the healing process. I will pray for you that you will continue to be strong n that hope to see u come bk to the forum again. Indeed today is a very sad day for me too. It is the funeral of my grandma who bbsat me when I was a kid. Cried a few times for past few days. Will pray that both of us will recover from our grief quickly.

 
Wendy, I am so sorry for your loss. my heart goes out to you and totally understand how devastated you are feeling now.



I had a miscarriage too end Dec last year, but my strength and positivity took me to a successful pregnancy in March this year, and the experience taught me how to now stay positive for this baby's sake.



Don't give up okay? Most important now is to take care of your health and drink lots of tonic to build back your health so you can try for another baby again. Nothing is impossible. Everything lies in your conviction and positiveness. Conditioning your body to be ready for your next baby will be very important.



Stay strong and I will pray for your early recovery okay? *BIG WARM HUG*

 
Hi mummies,



Need advice on a few matters:-



Feeding bottles - Avent vs Pigeon vs NUK, which brand is better?



Swaddling blanket - I understand swaddling is important for bbs to sleep well and longer without interruption. But does the swaddling cloth matters? Or just take any cloth to wrap? Kiddopotamus vs Miracle Blanekt - which one better?



Cloth nappies - some have studs, some have velcros. Which kind better?



Sorry for these qns. I'm a first-timer so v suaku. And hope not to buy the "wrong" things for my little princess [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Cloud - saw your selling post in the other thread. I'm interest in the Carters rompers and the cloth diapers. For the rompers, are these the latest designs? [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Wendy: My heart goes out to you! Do stay strong and take good care of yourself. Yr baby is in good hands. *HUGS*

 
Swaddling... my no.1 refuse to be swaddle after a few days... its too warm... and i didnot buy any cloth (lucky) as i wanna try out first... so i use the traditional cloth napkins swaddle a few days and notice he dun like, so i nv swaddle...

 
cloth nappies: i would prefer studs coz velcro tend to "attract" dust/ dirt etc if put in washing machine to wash...



and velcro easy to open, when baby grow bigger, they have itchy hands, then everytime will open the velcro to play, studs will be harder for them to open..



bottles: i use tollyjoy, cheap and some have nice cartoons, haha, but the nipple i use pigeon... I think avent not bad, alot of my friends use it...

 


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