(2011/05) May 2011

i think i am lucky, my MIL won;t give overnight food or food kept too long for my ger, she will ask us to eat instead, now i preggy, she will ask hb or SIL to eat or she eat herself.



VV: ya u need to sound desperate, if not, they will skip u and give the vacancy to those in more urgent need.



Winnedy, i cant help, but i think ur boy cute lah, ask auntie for help.

 


winnedy,

it takes time.....and also, don "punish ur boy"....it will fence him off.....just tell him repeatedly auntie is busy etc....don vend anger on him if he ask for auntie cos he will only feel auntie can protect him.



perhaps its time u chg ur maid work priorities. tell her whenever u/hubby ard, she doesnt need to be involve in ur boy unless u ask him too.



on ur part gt to spend really Quantity time with him. child at their age only stick to those who are wif him constantly.

no matter how tired, got to bath/change and play wif him all times u are avail at hm. can only do ur own things like surf net / others when he is asleep.

the only time i'm away from my son when i'm at home is when i'm bathing. other than tat, all my time is his.



my boy used to reject my hubby since birth cos he wasnt too involved in him. my hubby oso feels jealous and things turn better over time (about 6 mths later) then my boy slowly accept him, but nt fully yet. as time goes, another 6 mths, now my boy wants drink milk will call for daddy to make, poo / bath will call daddy to do it too.... hee.....

 
strafruit, my pil oso like tat. will give fresh food to my boy......even when i'm not preggy, they will eat the lunch leftovers etc and wont ask us to eat....hee....don envy, there are other "probs" that i didnt highlight.



sometimes its juz close 1 eye ....

 
auroa, my boy oso like tat. only wants me to put him to slp. will keep calling n whinning for me if he knows i'm outstide the room.



only recently, once, i went for DnD and hubby put him to slp. he keep asking for me and daddy tell him im working, he can see me once he wakes up. tat next morning, he woke up at 6+am, (ususally he will call me even my back face him), tat morning, he poke me and till i turn my back then he call me with a big smile. think he is confirming is tat me....hahaha

 
SH, your boy also sweet leh. i like to wake up with them and see their big smile in the morning.. will melt one leh [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
val,

ya, i told my maid not to carry him ald. but she always give in to him. whereas, we will be very strict. recently, she gave him the pacifier back AGAIN! we already stop the pacifier. but she gave it to him after he asked for it.



starfruit,

the more he asked auntie for help, the more angry i become!!!



sh,

ya, maybe its also my fault for vending frustration on him. i told him auntie is bz, he was very angry and jump up and down frantically!! this maid contract is ending in march. her hubby told her not to work anymore cos he has made a "fortune" in jakarta. so i was thinking to send her back asap and get a new one in soon.



i think bringing up kids is a big big chore...

 
Val/Starfruit

Uhm, that means tomorrow Thu I gotta go down & have a look. Haz. Cos tmw will be out of office, then go back home earlier to snake. So maybe can take this chance to go see the school. Si bey sian leh... Think have to push the new sch abit liao... They say only have 1 CLASS for N2. A bit weird leh, why dun open more since already so many parents on waiting list. I dun understand.



Winnedy

Poor thing... maybe he tot the maid can save him ma. I also always use cane on my boy. For a moment, he said he likes the maid but dun like me. Im so sad. Now, I ask the maid to ignore his requests and dun play wz him. While I still continue my disciplinary action when needed. Now he is not as close to the maid, knowing maid also cannot save him. I guess maybe he treats the maid like a savior... and also at times sleep wz the maid. That draws their r/s much closer.

 
Winnedy , at this period, u got to divert his attention + give him wat he wants/likes (mayb like play certain toys or eat 1 biscuits or see tat particular dvd, small requests tat can be given in to him). tats how he likes the maid...actually maid got no trick, they will give in everything just to make them quiet so tat maid can be at peace.



so if he say he wanna go tat direction to tat room etc....juz give in a little.... don everything tell him cant. learn to know wat he wants or is trying to communiate.....slowly when he accepted u, make known to him certain things is nono.....n the maid got to really back off if not all ur efforts will b wasted....



ya, send tat maid back is good but u got to start bondng with him now or u might hv a hard time when the maid leaves. take this time to learn his pattern, accept him as an individual making requests and nt everything to ask him to listen to u. he will definately accept u again. tats how my hubby learnt too.



starfruit, ya, love their morning smiles....now every morning u know why he call me, is to carry him up our bed....!

 
auroa : rgd your ILs, i'm really speechless... your MILs too tok kong...



winnedy / vv : think most likely after my lil one & girl grows older... we are not goint to have any more maid... my mum can help to look after them...



hey... what's for lunch? bought samurai burger.. not really tasty... didn't finish the entire burger & it's not cheap too..

 
vv, cherie hearts too crowded... me dun advice it.. My Little Campus - is it owned by NTUC and located at blk 624?



winnedy, oh dear, that will makes him even apart fr u leh... why lock him inside the room? the kid will get scare leh and an hr abit too long leh... i agree with SH... my girl last time rejected my hubby.. she doesn't allows him to touch her at all... i hve to sweet talk my girl to let my hubby start by feeding her, bringing her water to drink then follow by bathing...otherwise, they wun be so close now... my girl last time dun even want to play w my hubby bcos he always sit infront of his computer.. my girl just stand outside the rm door to watch him and i asked her why and she told me daddy busy & she walked off... ya, i think it's time that u need to talk to yr maid and let her know yr expectations... if too close also no good, if the maid leave, yr child heart will break..



sh, ya, my girl when wakes up in the morning, she wants to see me first.. if not, she will cry.. sometimes she will sit besides me to wait for me to wake up and if daddy said "wake mummy up".. she will say to daddy "shh, mummy sleeping"... it certainly melts our hearts when they smiled at us first thing in the morning...

 
dolly, my hubby and sil told me last time they are not like that... they said maybe now they retired and got nothing to do will think of something to do and also last time they too busy working.. now not working, wants to spend more time w their kids and grandchildren and might tends to "overrun" our lives lor..

 
auroa : your girl really so sweet...



winnedy : you got to start to bond with your boy le... maybe bring him to playground spent sometime with him...

 
Sh,

so heartwarming to see ur boy's smile 1st thing in the morning ho. hehehe.



winnedy,

think u have to give her warning n etc. If she carries him again, then u have to "punish" her in certain way etcetc. alot of ways to bond with ur boy la...eg do something he enjoys or likes...read a book, do arts & craft, watch his fav cartoon etc etc...



vv,

ya. since u on leave, go dwn and "complain" abit. hehehe.

mayb they cant find qualified teachers thus didnt open more classes ba.

 
Auroa

Little Campus is privately owned. I think My Little Skool is by NTUC... Oh okay, I also tot Cherie Hearts like over-populated cos I see alot of kids there... at a few of the branches. Blk 624 I think is PCF. The one I am on waiting list de is PCF too, Blk 650. At least, thats the nearest and within walking distance.



Dolly

I have the same sentiments too. Maybe when both in Pri Sch liao, I would send them to Before/After School Care. Like that, its cheaper PLUS safer. Then engage Partime Maid come clean up twice a week or sth.



Winnedy

Yeah, u have to try to bond with your son real soon. Nowadays weekends, I will play with him (even though after a while, can be quite boring) and I will bring him solely to shop with me. Quite fun & challenging though. I dun like to bring maid wz me whenever I go out. Even on Sunday family outings or just dinner wz hubby, we will bring our boy but without my maid. Becos I realised, wz maid, my boy becomes even more outrageous.

 
vv : think once they reach the age of 2-3, i'll just send my maid back... even my mum has this intention too.. each time we were out, we can see some lil boy/girl prefer the maid than the mummy...



there's one ridiculous real life story heard from my ex-colleague.. this maid has took care of the girl from young till sec sch... the parents wanna bring the girl for holiday... guess what did the girl said to her parents? is auntie going? if don't bring her, she's (the girl) will not be going too.. till now the maid & the girl still slept in the same room...

 
Dolly

Yes, I always have the fear of maid sticking to my kid. Initially my #1 was still young, he was very sticky to my 1st maid. But after looking after him for a year, she wants to go back cos miss her own daughter. So change of maid, totaly cut my boy off with maids, so to speak. 2nd maid, cannot make it. 3rd maid, which is current, he is rather close to her. Until I realised she pampers him too much and give in to him, I cannot stand the sight of it. Until my boy climbs over her. So I told her, she only watched him but not play wz him. Unless a while.



Yes, one of my relative same as your ex-colleague exactly. Maid look after little girl since NB till Pri 1. Then, for some reasons, this maid needs to go back liao. Maid left w/o even bidding little girl goodbye as relative didnt want that crying & all to happen. Only give excuse to little girl say maid needs go back settle things. Then now, been a few months liao, little girl didnt have much anxiety effect even new maid comes. I guess once cut must totally cut them off. Now she got new maid liao, not close to new maid at all of cos. And now, little girl started to sleep with the mother instead.

 
I do get very jealous when my boy dun want me and only want hold maid's hand. I will distract him, say I got things for him blah blah. Certain times he will follow me. At times, he just shook his head. Until I gotta force my way thru. Now, I learnt along, find some other topics to distract him instead. Slowly, he dun hold the maid's hand anymore but mine.

 
dolly, i hve tried to talk to sil but she also said the same thing.... ask me to give in to her lor... i think it's bcos it's their parents and they give in to her alot and that's result "give a inch, come a feet" lor...



maid:

I heard from my colleague previously her 1st maid was with her for 2 years and got so close to her girl that when she leaves, the girl and the maid hugged together and cried... from home all the way cried to airport...

 
vv, i also very jealous of my girl's former teacher... my girl so closed to her that when i smacked her, she cried and went to get her shoes and bag and said that she wants to go and look for her teacher.... haiz..

 
Auroa

Aiyo, your girl so cute leh. Heheeeee. My boy used to love one Malay Teacher very much. But the thing is now, she is no longer in the same bay with him, he gets lesser contact wz her. So now he tells me, he dun like anyone in the school. Poor thing. Come to think of it, reminds me of the scratches on his face. Already dun like school, still kena scratch. Lucky no scar.



One of my close fren's boy, the classmate used his head to punch my fren's boy nose. In the end, nose bled plus nose looks as though crooked. Maybe overly-worried. Then gotta bring him to hospital for X Ray. Lucky results showed ok. Then same thing, teacher said dunno. And pushed everything away. My fren got so fed up. Told them better wake up their mind and ensure such wont repeat.

 
vv, ic, i heard from my girl's previous classmate mummy that got 1 cc not very good and the teacher is her friend.. it's owned by NTUC...

 
vv : there's one point of time when my girl was 3-4 mths old... she only wants my maid/my mum to carry... so i was so jealous... coz i never pat her to sleep... till my ex colleagues told me i've to start to pat her to sleep otherwise i'll have difficulty in future... yes, for the 1st few weeks/months, it's really tough... i've to bear with it & determination, she now wants me to pat her to bed... even now, when my mum pats her, she still want me to be around till she fell asleep...

 
dolly, do u pat till a time that feels so frustrated (bcos she haven fall asleep & u need to pat and pat).. sometimes i do.. really got to bear w it till i tell her if u dun sleep, mummy will sleep liao... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
auroa : ya lor... have that kinda frustration but i've bear with it & determine to make her sleep... so after she fell asleep, i've this kinda sense of satisfaction...

 
dolly, think u more patient than me.. i smacked her buttocks a few times bcos sometimes the more i pat her, she goes into the chatting mode and dun want to sleep liao...

 
Auroa

Oh ok, NTUC ~ am not so keen yeah. PCF is under PAP Private or sth... Looking this and hopefully it works for my boy.



Oh yes - actually efforts really paid off de. I also pat my boy until my hand so tired at times. Then at times, I just sit on my bed and do some reading, while he sleeps beside me... and I pat him..

 
auroa : no choice lei... she can sense it if you are getting impatient... so really have to be very patient with her... sing lullaby to her for almost an hour or two.. then she's fell asleep...

 
vv : hahahah... alamak... funny lei... we have been singing to her since she's two months old... but we don't sing anymore le... now she need to lug our arms/legs as if her bolster then she will fell asleep...

 
Cute hoh.. Dolly

Then if I stop, he will sing louder and even clap along... ***faint*** Maybe he thinks Im leading him to sing and since I stop, he can sing by himself & LOUDER...

Then, I gotta tell him, Hello, sleep le!

 
dolly,

hahahah. ur gal so cute need to lug ur all arms n legs. since a few mths back, my boy chunked his bolster 1 side and take our big bolster as his, esp my smelly smelly. hahahah!



vv,

ur boy so funi. mayb u tell him la, u sing then aft u finished, he must close his eyes and try to slp? i will also tell him, sun go hm to slp le and outside is dark, mummy wanna go slp le, he must oso slp and we will play again when the sun is out tml =P



anyway, ladies, wat time do ur kiddo(s) slp?

 
sh,

i tried to give him some other things. he say dun want. he only want auntie! i listen ald, blood boil!

ya, i agree they give them anything the kid ask for to have peace... haiz.. so the maid become the "god" and i become the villian loh..



dolly,

my mum start to become too dependent on maid ald.. think even i stop hiring, she will get one herself! jialat! samurai burger is from where? we tried to ask him go down for breakfast and go playground. he say dun want! he want to stay at home with auntie! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



val,

cannot "punish" one lah.. this maid is damn smart one loh.. yesterday still physco my boy ask him wanna go back indo with her or not!!!!



vv,

we also shop w/o our maid. cos its not as if i have 2-3 kids to manage. but sometimes half way shopping, my son will say he want to go back home find auntie! i hope i can be like you.

 
val : ya lor... she no longer want to lug her bolster le... my girl will start to rub her eyes @ 8pm. so after finish her milk, she will start to fell asleep @ 9pm...

 
winnedy,

mayb u try to coax ur boy. says auntie nt free n dun always look for auntie, tml u go buy him a book or wat so u can read to him etc etc. its time u start to give in to him abit le just to win him over...



think u really nd to spend more quality time with ur boy and try to win him over since he is so attached to ur maid nw.



as for ur maid, since nthing u can do then target on ur boy =P

 
winnedy : if that's the case, you want to consider to send your maid back... then you stay @ home for a few months to look after him? think he's too attach to your maid le... most prob, you have to sit down & have a talk with your HB to address this issue...

 
dolly,

wah! ur gal slps v early le...mine earliest 10pm when i am alone with him, if daddy ard 1030pm earliest...weekend lagi worst...11++



mayb u buy ur gal an adult size bolster then she dun nd to lug ur arms/legs =P

 
val : ya... coz we went to bed early... so we have discipline her to sleep early... its good to sleep early coz when they goes to pri/sec, they can't go to bed early le...



winnedy : samurai burger from mac!

 
Dolly

Yeah lo... Haz. Thats why sometimes I will just burst into laughter, cannot tahan. Then he at 1st see my facial expression from angry turns into laughs. He also laughed.



Val

I tried before. Then he started to ask to take out his color pencils la, crayons la, books la, etc. Wah, bey tahan him lo.



Winnedy

Eh, at times I also find it very hard to manage him. U know, sometimes go shopping wz him, one chore is I gotta start to buy sweet for him towards the end of the spree. Cos initially, I will tell him this @ home before leaving, "Cannot baobao ah, cannot cry ah, and cannot buy something (sweet/junk food) ah, cannot scream & shout hoh. If not, u stay @ home, Mommy will go out myself". Then he nodded his head readily b4 I even finished my sentence. After which starting of the trip, he really so kuai lo.. and so cute. Cos very quiet ma. Then started to chat wz u. Later part, he starts to chu spots liao by saying, "Mommy, so tired hoh"... "My legs pain" etc. Then I must start to look for sth to distract him liao.. :-( Then after a few rounds of distraction, I know its time to really go home. Otherwise, will be disastrous. I trial & error many times, I guess this is the best plan liao. See his pattern, faster go home before he starts to whine to embaress me.

 
dolly,

u r rite abt slpping early...this is why nw i need to tune my boy's slpping time earlier since he will be in sch jan liao so need to wake up earlier..

 
dolly,

u r rite. slp early is gd but my boy slps quite late and nw i got to re-tune his slpping time as he will be attending morning sch next yr lo. so headache...



vv,

hahaha. tell him crayons, color pencils, toys all slp liao! if he wans book, ok, i will compromise and tell him 1 or 2 pages aft that MUST slp...coz book oso wanna slp =P

 
val : exactly... so she goes to bed early & wake up early too around 7am... last time, heard from my ex colleagues that their kids go to bed earliest 11 & latest, 1-2pm... OMG... how can they let the lil one goes to bed so late... so told my HB, i have to discipline & teach her the rite way...

 
Dolly

Yap. Actually sometimes they make us soOoo angry. But at times, they are so funny. Their questions also so funny. Keep asking why. Until sometimes I dunno how to answer.



Val

Yea lo. I told him that. Then he started to ask me, why toys sleep liao? Then I said cos they tired. He will ask, why tired. Then I tricked him, say cos they are not energetic. Then he will ask why not energetic. I would then answer him, cos they are tired.. etc. Wah lao. He will continue all his WHY... until he realised, nothing to ask liao, he will give u a "orh".



RE: SLEEPING TIME ---> Starting from 8pm for my boy.. But now, seems getting later. Cos he kept refused to sleep at times.

 
dolly,

so good, your daughter can sleep so early! mine only like 10plus or 11! my hubby is not really concern on this. he said that its only this phase only.. anyway, he is our son, so bo bian he has to stay with us one..



i did not see this burger just now leh. only some other new burgers.



val,

i wish loh.. but now i feel so tired.. wish i can zzz more.



vv,

mine is walk 10 steps, then ask u to carry him liao. super heavy to carry a 15kg boy ard leh! my hands no muscle.

 
vv / val : sometimes my girl woke up in the middle of the nite then don't wanna sleep... when she whines wanted to watch tv... will also tell her that barney sleep liao, & dibbo also sleep le.. then she will kinda keep quiet & lay on the bed...

 


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