(2011/02) Feb 2011

@Joodz & Geri: Thanks for the clarification. Do let me know if there's anythg to be done cos my next appt with gynae is only in Nov.

 


hi everyone, just want to check if anyone of you has a maid? i'm intending to employ one, so hope you can share what to look out for. do you also have a list of questions to ask maid during phone interview?

 
Mrs Ong, Haha yap my hubby is tall. My hubby height is 184cm. I dont know how heavy are my bb. But she weight 150g when she 16weeks. Hehe.



Geri, U n ur hubby really very loving n sweet. So envy u =) Ur son also very cute n understand. So good. I thought we goin to have a meet out oncoming expo bb sale? Oh it coming soon!!



Jooz, Ur hubby very nice. Will hug ur mil when she cry. So nice ur hubby will very excited when see ur girl scan. I remb my 1st scan my hubby sit inside the sofa n play game. Never see the scan. SO sad lor. He get scolding from me after the scan never go in see the scan. Haha. He say he dont know can go in n c. =_="""



Nashita, Sayang Sayang, Dont be sad cheer up. During pregnancy we will be more emo so dont be sad. Cheer up!!=)



Iddar n cinicole, DO take care!! N get well soon!!!



Food

I just went for korean food at katong. WOW it so nice and very tradition korean food but it very spicy. But very nice. haha my bb keep on kick me maybe it because too spicy. Haha because my hubby cant took spicy food at all. During my pregnancy my level of spicy have drop too. Hehe but really very nice!! If u girls love spicy food can go there give it a try. Went to buy dark choclate truffles. Hmm so nice and happy. =)

 
Hi mtbs,



I am in my 20 weeks plus now. but i did not feel anything kicking frm my baby. Is it normal, I m a first time mother.



Need some advice on this. Thanks

 
Hi Mummyb



You should be felling the movements soon not to worry!



When you lie down at night this is the time where u feel more movements from baby.



Have you went for your detail scan?..everything will be ok!

 
Mummyb-



Some ppl do feel it in week 22. If they scan and baby is fine and they can hear the heartbeat on the doppler should be ok. If you feel anxious, head over to KKH 24H clinic and let them know u would like to do a scan/doppler to check if baby is ok. It is about $70 for a scan and $30+ if they do doppler. =)

 
cNicole-



Hugs! Glad to hear the babies are doing well! Am sure you will be ok too. Keep us informed and I will be praying for u. Kae too! HUGS!



Wish-



Dunno leh. Some of them were saying the prices at the expo maybe not that good. =) U want we can always have lunch or dinner one of these days since we aren't that far away from each other. ^.^

 
Mummyb... btw some of us have already had a baby before so this is not our first, which means we will feel the movements a lot earlier than before. So dun worry k? =)

 
Hi,

Sorry to disturb again, I have recently added more brand-new and preloved baby and maternity items. Please refer to this link http://picasaweb.google.com/116194716505027587843/ItemsForSale?authkey=Gv1sRgCOf1kYbm-8Ta1gE#

for related pics and descriptions.

If keen, please PM or email me at [email protected] Thanks!

SOLD items will be deleted in the album, so it won’t be confusing.



PS: just to add, for every purchase for $15 and above, you get 4pcs of Mamy Poko S for free. so for $30, u get 8pcs and so on. while stocks last!

 
Geri, sure we can meet out one day for lunch. I'm free most of the time because I'm having holiday now. The expo sale are u going?

 
Wish-



PM me ur mobile? =) Easier to arrg via sms. =D I dunno whether to go... i only need to get the baby sling (thinking of either manduca or sleepy wrp) & not sure if they will sell at the fair or not. Lol.

 
OFB-



Yay!! At least hv a copy now! =)

Prob gonna photocopy n scan all the ultrsound scans again... not sure if the ultrasound pics will fade wif time...=p

 
Hi mummies,

the day is ending and I had an uneventful day, so I guess the left eye twitching does not really mean anything..

 
Fiona-



Good to stand by your hospital bag around the start of 3rd Tri so you don't have to think about it later on. =) I did that with Kae.



Suggested items to pack:



1) Nursing bra

2) Breast Pads

3) Nursing Top and other clothes enough for duration of stay in hospital

4) Slippers

5) Undergarments

6) Socks (optional)

7) Maternity Pads (hospital usually give the loop pad sort... if u dun wan, you can use those Laurier extra long heavy flow night pad. Not necc to buy maternity pad)





8) Toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, bath gel, toothbrush, toothpaste, facial wash, toner, moisturiser, some make-up if you want =D)





9) Snacks (optional)- prunes recommended for easy bowel movement

11) Personal items (eg MP3 player, books, HP, charger, laptop)



12) Blanket for baby

13) Clothing for Baby (romper, mittens, booties)

14) Diapers NB size



15) NECESSAARY DOCUMENTS (NRIC, documents from doctor/hospital)





Other things to remember-



1) Birth Plan (if you have one)



2) Inform your workplace



3) List of numbers of family/friends you might wanna call about the good news



4) Have a look at your Medisave cover- at what you can claim, how to go about it



5) Have your Baby sling/ infant car seat at hand when you are checking out of hospital =)

 
BREAST FEEDING SUPPORT NUMBERS >>



The Breastfeeding Mother's Support Group

Mon-Fri 0900-1200 & 1400-1700hrs .... 6339 3558



KKH Outpatient Lactation Clinic.... 6394 8232



MT E Lactation Clinic .... 6731 2180/ 82



MAH Lactation Services and Parentcraft Dept

.... 6347 6641



(Sorry I don't have the contact numbers of the rest of the hospitals ^.^"")



BREAST FEEDING SUPPORT WEBSITES >>



http://birthandbeyond.com.sg



http://familylife.sg/counselling-care/joyful-parenting

 
Have been reading the stories from today's posts.. and am feeling real sad.



For my 1st pregnancy, Told my hb when i tested +ve at home but he just said 'are u sure?' and went back to sleep.

and he left for hong kong the same week without even mentioning abt what he going to do abt the pregnancy.. ;(

at that time we still not living together as havent have traditional wedding..



For my 2nd preg, HB was in china and I called and told him abt it.

He just said how come we so 'lucky'?

at 1 point I did tell him that I didnt want this pregnancy and he told me to get an abortion if I wanted to.







didnt tell my mum abt it until i was more than 3 months preggy..

delayed so long cos waiting for hb to decide date for marrying me..

my mother scolded and cursed me until i got married when i was 4+ mth preggy..

 
Actually have been feeling a sense of dread as the pregnancy progresses...



I was left stranded when my first son came along.

I became a 'single parent'..

I seemed to have 'lost' my HB after giving birth as he would always find reasons to come home late, leaving me with the baby alone even before baby turned 2 weeks old.



The situation has not improved now I'm preggy with my 2nd.



My hb had been a doting boyfriend/ hb until I had my first child.

Somehow I feel that he is avoiding us.

It seemed like he cant face reality and the responsibility and prefer to run away from us...

 
I cant confide in my family cos they will tell me it was my choice to marry him.

I also do not want them to worry for me.



I've been feeling very burdened emotionally and physically recently and wonder if I can carry on?

 
geri: thanks for the info.. think will start packing next month.. cuz some of the things still haven't buy yet.. waiting for the expo baby fair.. den will go buy all the necessary things..

 
Sigh..

Well life still have to go on.

No use thinking or worrying abt things that I cant do anything abt [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Ah Ching-



HUGGGGGGGLES



Oh dear. =( It sounds like you've had a rough time. I empathise with the situation esp with the pissed off mummy coz I had a rough time with my mum too when it came to Kae. =p



You know what, Ah Ching, I believe that your children will turn out to be wonderful blessings that make all these setbacks worthwhile in time to come.



I am very saddened by your hubby's reponses. Could it be that he wasn't prepared emotionally and mentally for the child? How old are you both if you don't mind me asking? I was 21 when I was expecting Kae... My ex was more interested in LAN gaming than seeing me home and was often emotionally abusive as well. I was so sick and tired I walked out of him although it was frightening for me then as I had no idea how I was going to pull off being a single mother. I just could not see a future with him and I could not see my kids being happy with us stuck in an unhappy arrangement. He wasn't interested in marrying me yet at that point (altho he was going to propose when I broke off) and I was tired of putting up with his emotional abuse and his family (who were not the warmest people on Earth contrary to what they think they are). =p I just think he was not ready to step up and be a dad to my son and perhaps I did not see him as a gd role model. I am not saying he is a bad guy... but that he wasn't ready to play the role of a father figure at all as he was pretty much an overgrown teenager (He was 21 when Kae was born).



I was very blessed that almost a year from that tough decision, I got to be with my current hubby. Also one year younger than me (total coincidence) but so much more mature. He was prepared to love Kae as his own, and he has. And I'd never imagine it possible to have found such a wonderful man and a wonderful in-law family to accept and love both Kae and myself.



I am not saying leave your hubby, but to take heart that situations can change, and that if you need to make decisions to protect your kids and yourself from further sadness, to know that you don't have to buy into the lie that the best thing for the kids is to stay with the Dad. It is if Daddy is a responsible man... but it isn't if he is either a no-show dad or emotionally/ physically abusive.



It might be good to attend couple counselling sessions together and sort out all these issues that you both have swept under the carpet all these years. I really hope that you can work this marriage out and that you can find happiness with each other.



Also, have you considered birth control after your current pregnancy? It might be worthwhile to have a think about it esp if he is not ready to continue expanding the family. I took Mercilon (one of the many brands of Contraceptive Pills available) and there are contraceptive patches available too.



Ian and I were not ready to have kids until 2 years after our wedding and he was very firm that before marriage, no sex (which I was very happy for and I am glad he had that policy coz it made our wedding night that much more special for us). So I decided to go on the pill just a month before our wedding, because we preferred making love minus the condom. And to prepare the body, good to take one month ahead of sexual intercourse. If your hubby prefers it without protection, then you should protect yourself and take The Pill. Mercilon costs like $16 a box or so- which is for a month. I didn't suffer from any side effects.

 
Ah Ching,



A mother has a great strength in the love that she has for her kids. I too believe you will pull through.



Love lots and lots from over here.



Don't bottle it up inside, feel free to talk to us, to PM me... anything if it will help u feel better.



Fiona-



I managed to get pre-loved items mostly. Only waiting for the beanie pillows and we should be ok. My friend was migrating to Australia and gave a ton of baby items for me as she has decided 2 is indeed enough for her to handle. Lol.



I think the only item I might have to consider getting is a new cot mattress? But then again if we can wash and sun the mattresses at my parent's patio, I might just do that and save more $$ for the hubby. =)



Remember to make a list and write down prices ahead of the fair so that you know if you truly are getting savings.



Also, if you get all ur big ticket items from Mothercare, can get their membership card which is very worth it. =p Their rompers and baby clothes etc are very hardy if you are getting any first hand at some point. Someone we know had her eldest son's clothes passed all around the block to her friends (8 or 9 babies) and they came back to her in time for her 3rd son (much younger than the first one) and the clothes were still in excellent condition. She swears by their baby clothes. =D I remember receiving mothercare rompers for presents. Hope that people will bless us with second hand ones and that Kae's old rompers will somehow find their way back to us. I have no clue who the baby clothes are with!! ^.^""



I wish I could apply for one but we dun have any more big ticket items to buy at the moment, and I don't really want to spend $300 for no reason just to get the card. I might borrow my friends' cards when I go shop there. =p

 
Hi Geri,

I was 29 and hb 35 when i got preggy..

We already ROM for a few months and he wanted to have a baby so I stopped taking the Pill..



For my No.2.. I was TBF my No.1 so doctor advised me not to take the Pill..



The thing is HB and I seldom ML..

maybe like once in 2-3 months.. moreover my period was still erratic cos I was still breastfeeding actively.. so we were really 'lucky'



I believe my hb loves the family. He always tells me that baby will come No. 1 cos they are still young.

But when baby arrived.. I guess he wasnt ready..

He always tells me that he is 'working' and 'networking' to earn more $$ for the children's future...

and he always tells me that he feels very stressed..



It seems like he is having problems adjusting to being a father cos of his additional responsibilities..

he came from a broken family and he wants to give the 'best' to his children..

somehow his 'desire to provide the best' has created a kind of stress for him..

which i believe is causing him to 'run away' from us..

 
ah ching: i understand how u feel.. but right now please cheer yourself up n don't think too much.. put ur love n time on ur children as they need u.. u have to be brave n if ur Hubby n u can have a good counselling session will be better.. tell him how u feel n see what he got to say..

 
my hb has inferior complex or a lot of pride (cant decide which is more) and is very sensitive.. so sometimes must watch what I say cos he will have great reaction over the smallest comment!



tried telling him to spend more time with my son but he always tell me 'then he no need to work?' then 'where got $$'? etc.. the family will go hungry that kinda thing..

sigh but his biz ventures not going too well and I believe he hasnt been earning any $$ the last few months..



I started working in April this year to 'ease his burden' and so unfortunately I got preggy the 2nd week at work!!! haha.



my first preg also found out 2nd week in my new job.. so had to resigned in the end.. ha ha..

 
Ah Ching-



MORE HUGS! I see. Apparently whilst breastfeeding there are different contraceptive pills that can be taken which are not bad for the baby. I was researching online because I intend to BF Noah for 2-3 years. =p



I seriously think you both need to undergo couple counselling- which is not a bad thing. My ex didn't want to go for counselling or anger management counselling... which was a key reason I decided that was it.



There are places you can check out like Family Life Society that offer such services for free I think? (http://familylife.sg/)



Also there is a good support for dads at the Centre for Fathering. He might prefer that as there are other dads he can share with and confide in. (http://fatheringmatters.com/sg/)



But for you guys, it is so different. With 2 children and the fact that he does love u, that's good. I guess he is not expressive and he truly is stressed out.



Also, perhaps because he came from a broken family, he has not had a role model to show him how to express his love for you or the kids.



Counselling will be very good for him and for you.



Perhaps, if you find it hard to find time to talk to him, write him a letter to express your love, share your concerns, and ask him if he would go to counselling for the sake of his emotional health, and for you and the kids.



I truly believe things can be worked out. HUGS!!!!!



Cheer up, nothing cannot be solved if you both truly love each other and the kids!

 
hi fiona, actually i have been managing my 'mood' well.. only once in a while get a bit down.

my son is a darling and I am always have happy when I am with him.



But on the other hand, also feeling very guilty cos cant do a lot of things with him due to preg..

at first planned to send him for those play grp once a week and bring him swimming, even bought his swimsuit..

but in my physical state cant do any of these..



also financially cant afford..



also feel guilty towards my gal, cos will need to go back to work when she is 2 months old..

 
Breastfeeding friendly contraceptives-



Birth control pills that use only progestin are often called "mini-pills." They can be very effective as long as you take the pills at the same time each day or night.



These pills are considered safe to take while nursing. Some of the progestin does cross over into breast milk, but no harmful effects have been seen. Some mothers see an increase in their milk supply while using this method.



Other methods using only progestin include Depo-Provera and Norplant.



(Hope this helps? =D)



IUD is also effective, but I heard that sometimes it can expel itself during menses without u knowing. I would like to believe it won't happen to you and that you will have a good experience with it.



For me, I prefer not to insert any foreign object into my body... lol. I guess I just feel weird about having something inside me lah. So I guess I will be taking the progestin only pills for contraception purposes, as well as maybe using good ol' rubber.

 
geri: u r very lucky.. got all pass down.. got a friend also want to pass clothes to me.. she say she close factory liao.. maybe i will ask her whether she still need the baby cot anot..

 
Ah Ching-



I understand. We are financially sorta stretched on our end too on some months (this last quarter has been very tight especially) and I feel bad also for my son coz can't get him some stuff that he wanted, but he understands and is very sweet about it. He even offered to pass me his piggy bank money (LOL) and told us he doesn't need allowance. (T.T) We give him $2 a day and he always saves his money up. For a little kid his age he has a lot of savings coz he is very thrifty, but he is also very charitable and gives to charities very willingly.



I know your boy loves you and he understands. And dun worry about swimming classes, can take them later on. =) We started Kae's swimming class only this year, after we felt bad that all his cousins can swim but him & he got poked fun at.



Just count your blessings everyday as you have been doing, and I know things will get better and better. Perhaps as the kids get older, your hubby will kinda be wanting to be around them more. Some guys are like that because they feel scared of being around very little kids.



Just gonna keep believing for better days ahead for you. AH Ching, you are a brave lady and I'd do a pom pom dance for you if I could. HUGS!

 
fiona-



Yea. Praise God for the hand-me-downs. I'd be at a lost if not for them. =) Really must go hunt down Kae's baby clothes also hahaha. I am not sure if my Mum kept them at her place or we passed them on. Might also check with my cousin if he wants to trade his kid's baby clothes (they are 2+ now) for older kids' clothes (Kae has outgrown so many clothes along the way). Not sure if we want to keep those clothes around for another 7 years lor. Hehe.



One thing good- because it is a boy, Noah can wear his Korkor's old school uniforms. Must go bug Kae to stop wearing his kindergarten shorts around the house and save them for didi.



Ah Ching-



I might have some girl clothes around. Let me go check. I collected them from a friend a while ago to pass to a single mom, but her girl grew up whilst she was trying to find time to meet up with me. Lol. They may not be NB sizes, but I am sure they will come in handy later. Hope this will help take some financial stress off of you. =)

 
hi Geri and Fiona,

thanks for listening to me and encouraging me.

I feel so much better now..



BTW, hubby came back and I quickly closed the laptop.. then he asked me what I am so secretive abt.. He went out again..

Do u think he will go look in the history and read my posts when he come back later?



Hee Hee then I no need to write letter to him liao..

 
Ah Ching



LOL! I think it is good to pen him a personal letter still. If you say he is fiercely private, he might feel bad that you told us abt ur issues.

 
Geri, I did mention to Dr Ang abt the Mini Pill but he told me it is better not to take it..

cant remember what was the reason.. and he advised me to do the IUD.



I have a colleague who tied (7 years already) and she told me no side effects. so maybe can consider also..



My gal can wear her kor kor's clothes la.. I just gave birth last year in June, so still got all the baby things. Hee Hee..

and my children have 6 gal cousins so no worries abt clothes or baby items!



abt baby clothes.

I got those carters rompers from the BP and one piece only cost $2.50. It is of good quality also. got the mothercare ones too but the neck line stretches after a few washes..

 
ah ching: good.. remember u still got us.. geri: i got my gal newborn clothes.. some pink colour but never mind can wear it at home.. haha..

 
hmm.. pen him a letter ah..



not good idea cos my hb more cheena.. and i cant express myself very well in mandarin.

still remember we always quarrel over my SMS to him when we have quarrels cos he will misunderstand the message.



I think the best I can do is to allow my husband to work things out at his own time..

I strongly believe things will be better when my children do not need diapers anymore [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



That isnt a long time away, maybe just 4 years?!



I guess when the time my children become independent, I will miss their baby days!!

 
ok mummies, gotta nite nite already cos need to work tomorrow.



think will be having a restful night after unloading here. Thanks! and Goodnight!

 
Fiona-



LOL! Dun worry lah. Kae wore PINK also when he was a baby. When he got older, then we got him more boy boy stuff. Lol. =D



Ah Ching-



Good, good! Glad you have a ready supply of clothes. =) Am glad you feel less burdened now and can have a good night's rest. Hurrah! =D



Perhaps then it is good to talk to him one day o clear the air if there is a chance. But yea, I guess every guy is different and I am sure you know your hubby well enough. =) But it is good to talk to him too coz neither of you can read the other's minds... so just to help avoid misunderstandings or prolonged emotional stress, not a bad idea to have a heart to heart one day.



YES! You will miss those baby days! BUT... then again, at every stage, they are adorable in different ways. When they are older they can express their love to you by drawing, by telling you... and it is really amazing!



Oh man... preparing to start the cycle all over again after 8 years with Noah hahaha. =) God give us the wisdom and love and patience we will need. Hehehe. =)



BTW, I posted some notes from my prenatal class from 2 weeks back here. Most of the notes are applicable to everyone of any race/religion, and some parts have Christian quotes/ prayers for Christian mummies.



Just posted up stuff on what to expect for first 3 trimesters and also the hospital bag list (added CORD BLOOD BANKING KIT for those who are banking their baby's cord blood. I am. So I must remember to bring to hospital! Lol!)



So my blog's here:



http://bygracealone.tumblr.com/

 
Hello Mummies!! I am on my way going to Penang now with hubby and his friends. Today the posts are so fast and furious that I am unable to catch up. I'll read them when I'm back on Sunday. Take care!!

 
Gd morning mummies! It's finally Fri.. but it's gonna be yet another packed weekend for me.. :s These few mths, my weekends are burnt & I do feel tired gg back to work on Mon.



Here's wishing all mummies a good weekend ahead. Btw, if we r mtg soon, let me know k? Excited to see u mummies soon..

 
@Zanta: Enjoy ur trip... time to feast! =)



@MummyB: I too haf not felt anythg.. n I do get worried but my detailed scan can see baby heartbeat etc. Mebbe cos it's my first pregnancy too.



@Ah Ching: From the way u describe thgs, my guess is while he loves u & ur children very much, he is just not mentally ready to be a father.. mebbe cos he doesn't know who to role model aft. If talking to him can only upset him, try subtle hints eg. if he play with son, tell him dat was sweet.. u can see ur son happy playing with him. But dun overdo it.. small praises & encouragement to build up his confidence..

 
Ah Ching: Initially when I read your story, I find it very sad.. However, as you elaborate on, I felt that your hb do care for the family. Mayb like wat others have said, he is just not ready to be a father yet even though he wants to.



In addition, financially as your family is rather tight in expenses, he is also trying to work harder to earn more money for the family. Probably the way he do things is more subtle and less expressive hence giving people the impression that he doesnt care when actually he does care for the family.



I hope you continue to stay strong for your kids. I am sure they will come to understand. Nothing to feel guilty about. What is most important is that your kids know you love them.



Zanta: Enjoy your trip.



Geri: Do you still need the mothercare membership? I was given a temp card but not the physical card. Not sure if can use. If you like, i can lend you mine. Meanwhile, I need to check with them wy no perm card. I hardly buy mothercare stuff. You can have my card if you like. Got the card for some time liaoz but nvr touched.



How many % discount does members get?

 
morning ladies ,

I just finished breakfast . luckily KKH has wireless@sg. keeps the boredom



1 good thing about staying here is the nurse comes in every 3 hours with the doppler so i can hear babies heartbeat.



I'm sharing the ward with 3 other mummies that just delivered yesterday . full of joy when i hear their babies with them. the new born are so sweet .



im at the B1 ward and it was really warm last night even with the aircon on.



Took my bath this morning for 20 mins. the mummy at the ward must be jealous that i can bath and wash my hair.

 
Morning mummies~



Finally had my double fillet last night. Hehehe.. And my baby was so active last night! Keep kicking & kicking & kicking. From the moment I reached home, sat down till I want to sleep still kicking. Then when I woke up to pee and went back to bed baby still kicking! I wonder did he sleep. Hehe..



@Zanta: Have a good trip and enjoy yourself!! =D



@Ah Ching: Hope you are feeling ok today. I think if I were you I'll also feel very sad. But like what eviangal said, I believe your hubby does care for the family and he wants to give the best for you and his children. He wants to be a father but reality is still reality. When he sees a real baby the reality of being a father really sets in. It's not easy to have a kid let alone a 2nd one is coming alone now. I can understand how stress he feels cos my hubby also feels very stress even though he didn't voice out. Every parent wants the best for their children. I believe he really wants to participate in his children's growing up process. Who doesn't? Kids can only be a baby once. So don't feel sad le ok? =)



@fiona: Wah you so fast think of what to pack already ah? Haha! I think I'll be the last min kind. =p



@Geri: Thanks for all the info on what to pack for the hospital bag! =D

 


Ah Ching, Cheer up n jia you. Anything dont bottle up ur feeling let it out. =)



Zanta, So good u going oversea. Haiz how i wish i can do that too. Really need a getaway trip.



Morning all mommies.. TOday is weekend!!! Enjoy the weekend n have gd rest.. =)

 

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