(2011/02) Feb 2011

Zantarina,



All episiotomy cuts will end up quite near the anus... that's why its very important to eat a lot of fruit after birth, because if you get constipation, its super painful! (due to the stretching of those muscles)

 


valerie, i think your hubby dun want to pressurize you with the gender so he din't comment which he prefer.



cecelia, if you worry, you can ask yr CL to do marketing once a week and ask your mil to go with her.



Btw, those who have engaged your CL, do they go back to malaysia during cny period? If yes, how much lesser do you give their salary?

 
Hi,



There is some discussions about the use of Epi. We recently attended an expert talk on Epi and she say there are strong cases where the use of Epi will cause bad backache at old age so the side effect do not come immediately. However she say it was not proven as the backache could simply be caused by aging, and not the use of Epi. i guessed it's hard to prove anything when the effect comes decades later.

 
Morning, Mummies



Had funny dreams last night.



First dream:

Dreamt my best friend visited me and we're chatting about baby. Suddenly there is a baby boy sleep on my baby and it's my baby. Before i can react, baby split milk, pee and i don't know what to do. Shock to wake up [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Second dream:

Dreamt that i bought my child to swimming pool, it's a daugther this time, about 3 - 4 years old already. Suddenly it's raining heavily and me and my daughter couldn't find any shelter. Worry that my daughter will fall sick, i cry until woke up [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



I told my hubby about my dream last night, he laughed and said that i'm stressed over baby gender. I am not....

 
Valerie

I think all men want at least 1 boy lo, they just don't want to admit cos they don't want to pressurize us or make themselves look sexist. But of course if it's a girl, they would love her too la.



Fiona

don't feel bad. We face our difficult todds all day long, losing temper is inevitable. I don't believe any parent in the world can remain as angels all the time esp if SHM. Tell her you're sorry and explain to her that you're just anxious she'll go hungry later. Kids never bear grudges.



Cecilia

better to ask your mum or hubby do marketing with her once a week. Many CLs will pocket money and eat our tonics!!

 
Morning mummies!



Cecilia: I havnt thought abt how much to give CL for marketing.. but as what other mummies suggest, it's good to have one family member going with her...



Charmaine: My EDD on 13th feb after cny.. if i deliver earlier, she will come earlier at no extra charge.. not sure abt ur case though, or do u want ask her directly, wait give too little she not happy...



Jolin: Me also had a dream abt bb few days ago.. In the dream our girl was abt 4yrs old.. hubby and I brought her to a museum... There was an activity corner, and after touring , our girl went to do activities at the corner.. throughout she was very sweet and obedient... Woke up very happy [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Neon: Agree, guys very ‘fan4 jian4’ wan.. And they don’t mean what they say most of the time.. Haha..



Valerie: This time different mah.. I believe he also very kan cheong to know bb gender but just pretend only.. You try lah.. He sure very curious why you never update him after scan.. So sure will come after you.. He ask (a) you answer (a).. Don’t give extra info.. Make his heart itchy itchy.. Haha.. I so mean hor.. Teach people tekan hubby.. Hehe..



Jolin: So funny lor.. I had a dream last night too.. Dreamt I was playing mahjong (my favourite hobby).. Then the drawer scratched my hand when I was taking chips out coz the drawer opening was too small.. Then hand very pain then I woke up.. Haha.. Now that we can remember dreams, sometimes also find it very funny.. But very tiring coz that shows that our brain is not resting.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Melody: May your dream come true [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Charmaine, First Mum



Thanks.. I also fear and heard alot of stories that they often pocket money, tat's y so worried.. Asking my MIL to go along can be a problem too, cse she dun stay with us.. I even heard my mom told me tat she ever heard some CL purposely cook very expensive tonics so tat they can 'bu' themselves also..



Charmaine,



I think not quite possible tat the CL will wanna go back to Malaysia during CNY period esp if they stay very far. Bcse all the tickets going back to Malaysia should be fully booked by Sept/Oct this year. And problem for them to get tickets back S'pore also can be an issue cse alot of Malaysian may rush back to start work also..

 
@preciousbabi: Ahahahaha~ Hope he'll ask lor. But he very smart de lah. Even if he don't ask later he see the things I buy for baby he'll agar know le. Haha!

 
@fiona: yea i agree..apologise to her then she will learn that not adult do wrong nv apologise. but dont be hard on yrself to blame yrself..u cant control at that point also...plus now with another one in your stomach growing and emotions going up and down u wont want it to happen too...pat* dont feel bad over it!



@Val: yes i agree with neon! lol..i will use this tactic to my hubby too..heee...sometimes it work sometimes it dont...but still it worth trying..he dont ask u dont say..cause he may be "expecting" that u will update him liao...so he will not ask...so now u also ren dont update to him yet...hehee...hope it works for u..

im sure he is kanjiong also but guys la(generally not all thou)..they from mars..never really learn how to express their feelings out like we do...



Val: hope for u its a ger ! =)



@dreams:

Soemtimes its really weird how we have all kind of dreams..lol..every single day for me..but i dont really rem....i only rem once i dream my mum and another time my hubby passed away (choychoy) and i cant take it...i was bursting out crying while dreaming..

 
Melody23,



[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Have been thinking alot on $ issue as our EDD are the very 'wang' season. Everything is going to be so ex.. Not only thinking of marketing cost during confinement, but also told my dh this morning that we have to start stocking up all the wines, red dates, herbs etc by Dec, as everything will goes up during Jan before CNY.. Kiasu me.. :p

 
cecelia, melody, my CL just told me she wants to go back from 2 Feb to 5 Feb and she will reduce the charge from $2.8k to $2.6k. She did say if i dun want to engage her svc also can but i can't find anyone at such late timing. (i tried calling 3 CL but they are all fully booked during cny period)

 
Melody,

Your dream so sweet. Mine ones mostly are very sad ones leh, either i cry or angry to wake.



Charmaine,

Your CL is going back for 4 days and she only cut $200 ah, a bit "eating" you hor

 
jolin, ya tat's how i'm feeling too. But i'm not really bothered by that. As my gynae has oredi told me that i can only c-sec after 38weeks ie 25 Jan so i calculate after discharge from hospital, my CL will work 2days and go back to malaysia and back 4days later. But 1st week is the period whereby i needed her most. But i'm most afraid is she will say, she might as well come after 5 Feb. I tried calling a few CL but all oredi booked and this CL is recommended by my friends who have engaged her.

 
Charmaine



Agree with Jolin. $2800 for 28 days, and she only deduct for $200 for 4 days? At least $400 rite? Hmmm.. Try to voice to her this issue and see what she says?



I think u just pay her $200-$300 lesser to whatever days she had completed her to reassure that she will come back or run away if u overpay her.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
cecelia: yah, think everything gonna be ex.. Havnt thought of what to stock up yet.. What kind of wine and herbs do we need ah? Might need to buy lotsa stuff earlier, in case cny first few days gives birth, and all the shops closed... then we eat grass liao.. haha



charmaine: A bit late to find another CL now.. I called a few previously too, but all taken up except 1, she squeezed me in coz she got to do confinement for another mummy in jan, and that mummy told her she will be giving birth early.. If u c-sect at 40wks, is it possible?

 
cecelia, i will try to negotiate if she can deduct more when nearer my edd when she make a visit to my hse. Afterall, she can already told me upfront if i'm unhappy with her gg back for cny, i can find another CL. I can't afford to lose this CL for now.



melody, i gv birth to my boy at 39wk 5days. Gynae say best timing is after 38weeks coz bb lungs will be fully developed. So 40wks might be too late for c-sec. Ya, v diff to find another CL coz either they are oredi taken up or dun wan to do for cny

 
jolin, stay happy.. i have got baby posters in living room and bedrooms, so see smiling babies often.. anyway, just take dreams with a pinch of salt... i hv bad dreams too, but cant rem now..



charmaine, agree with u, must hold on to this CL tight first.. Since she deduct so little, maybe u can deduct her ang pows to compensate.. haha, very mean of me...

 
melody23,



I can't really recall the full list, cse my mom was the one tat prepared everything when I had my 1st. But given now that she has to take care of my 1st, think she won't have the time to get it for me.

Roughly if i can still remember,

red dates, black dates, mi zao, dang shen, gou ji, dry longan .. (to make our red dates water everyday)

Wine got a few, for cooking and drinking. But I can only remember DOM and Wincayi..

And yr usual chicken essence, bird nest etc

$$$$$$ (All my bonus burn..) :p

I will need to get the list again from my mom prior nearer to Dec. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Charmaine,

Yar true, spenting the $$ better than die standing with no CL during tat time. Pray pray tat mine will come out exectly or after EDD..

 
melody, ya, i'm hanging tight to this one coz really desperate liao haha.. actually if this CL can really help me out, i won't mind. I think i'm freaking myself out coz i will think if this CL will "tua" me last min or can't perform as praised by my friends. (heard alot of stories about terrible CL)

 
CL: I think the CLs also very clever lor.. They know you need them during the super peak period.. So if you don’t grant them whatever they ask for, they will ask you find other people (when now a lot are booked already).. Lucky for me, I already booked my mum to do confinement for me.. Hehe.. Can really save a lot $$$.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
PreciousBabi,



Yar, they really out there to suck our $$ since we r S'poreans some more. :p



Had my mom tat did my confinement last time. Felt heartache at how weak and pale she became. Imagine her marketing, cooking, doing household and waking up middle night when baby cry.. End up she's now suffering from frozen shoulder bcse of over-exerting herself then.. Felt very gulty. And I didn't rest well too during then as I felt very pai sei tat she had to wake up at nite, so when baby cry, I automatically wake up also.



So, must really give yr mom a big ang bao, big hug, big kiss... after the confinement :p

 
thanks everyone..

i told her sorry n explain to her yesterday nite..

she smile at me.. n now i feel better already..

 
Cecelia: Ya, but I believe those mummies who have to engage have no choice.. So good luck to them.. It is worth the money as long as they don't give you headaches.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Huh.. So serious ah.. But I think my mum should be ok coz she is a baby sitter all along.. So very used to bb stuff liao.. But of course her age is catching up also, so will feel more tired ba.. Of course I will not be throwing bb totally to her.. At night I think I will take care myself so at least she can have a good sleep and I'll definitely get hubby help her do marketing.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Hi mummies,



the posts are really a lot and going very fast. have a hard time catching up. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Btw, any mummies exp b4 pulling discomfort on your left side of stomach. (not exactly a pain, but a bit like menses cramps kind). I have been having this pulling discomfort yesterday and milder today. is it normal?

 
Little girl: I too have this feeling last evening.. But woke up fine this morning.. I experience it once in a while and it's like something poking in the stomach but not very painful kind.. Then feel my stomach very tight.. I think this is normal coz our womb is expanding for bb.. If it hurts or the duration gets longer, you may want to consult your gynae.. I will also check with my gynae on next visit..

 
yah, i think CL are out to suck $$$ since its also near the CNY period.



Like PreciousBabi, i also booked my MIL to do confinement for me since its my #1. and she agreed. but i did tell my hubby to help out as much as possible as i hope to rest as much as possible except to BF.



Btw, for those who have engaged Mother/MIL to do confinement b4, can share how much you all give to them? cos i know must give but not sure how much, dun want to give too little or too much cos expecting to spend a bomb on BB stuff liao.

 
yah, i called the clinic today, intending to go visit the gynae on this. the nurse say dr not free and assure me that its ok as long as no bleeding. my colleague also say she had this b4 and its ok. so i just take their advice but a bit uneasy still.

 
Little Girl: Must give them ang pao ah?? Haha I wasn't told leh.. Wait my mum think I stingy lor.. Haha.. How much to give?? I also need a guide..



O.. Since the nurse say that then should be ok.. Coz I've heard from friends also.. That we will experience this quite often.. As long as not too painful, not too long, no bleeding then ok lah.. What I did was I massage my stomach gently in circular motion and talk to bb at the same time.. After a while, the feeling really went off lor.. Haha.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
my MIL wil do my confinement but she wont be doing the full thing.. mainly just food and she'll instruct me what to do.. the rest im doing myself.. if like that how much should be the 'market rate' to give my MIL?

 
Actually I heard some old ppl and aunties say before, must give at least a little from yr heart in ang bao to sort of boost back their luck also. Bcse it seems by doing confinement for us, it's quite 'bad luck' for them.

 
@Judy: My mil also doing confinement for me. Somemore she's taking 1 month leave from work to do for me. Also don't know how much ang pao should give her.

 
cecelia, ya that's wat i heard too. They say must put the money in ang bao before giving. Some "old" shops and salons dun welcome women doing confinement coz it's bad luck to them

 
preciousbabi: yah i guess part time. haha. i am caught in a difficult situation actually. as mentioned in my very early post, mother in law wants to do confinement for me but she cannot commit to do it full time as she is working evening 6-11pm. she opposes to hiring a CL bcos of her past bad experience. she opposes to confinement catering as she believes her recipes are better. therefore i guess i will have to do the remaining confinement myself and hope i go out of it still sane and normal. haha. i think $500 a mth should be enough? i will be staying at her hse too.

 
I got a CL at $2300 but can only come from 6 Feb onwards. If i deliver during or before CNY she will charge me $3800, so i told her come after CNY. My EDD is 10 Feb and I am praying real hard that i wont deliver so early.

The CL says she could go w my hubby to do marketing or she tells my hubby what to buy. i will check with her again what to buy in advance b4 she comes



I have not done facial yet, maybe next month after my 16th weeks ba

 
Valerie: Then you must pay her her 1 month salary.. I no need coz my mum is housewife.. LOL..



Charmaine: Think now no more this kind of practice liao right.. Wait my mum scream at me if she can't go salon - she want to look nice on baby shower also mah.. Haha..

 
Actually baby shower must it be exactly 1 month after birth? Cos I don't want to go out before finishing my confinement and if have to do exactly 1 month after then I have no time to go do my hair. Lol~

 
Judy - oh like tat will ur MIL be v tired? since she needs to cook and take care of the baby during day time, then work at night. wat if half way she cannot take it due to age n health, u n ur hubby will feel bad too. sigh... u r really in a difficult situation

 
I was prepared to pay my mom $2,000, the same rate as a CL but she is not willing to do it. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
Judy: Cannot ask her take whole month off? Since she offer to do mah.. You can also talk casually in front of her say you heard from people it’s best to get full rest during that month.. So if she can’t spare the time, maybe she will allow you to engage CL? But now even if she allow, maybe also no more CL available.. Better talk to her soon..



Neon: The difference so much ah?? Ya, you will have to tell your bb to come after CNY..



Valerie: I think any amount will do.. It is our token of appreciation mah.. They will also understand that we have to spend so much on bb, their grandchild.. So shouldn’t be calculative over this..



Doesn't have to be exactly 1 month.. Some bring forward a few days to the weekends.. But I think nobody do after 1 month right? Pls correct me if I'm wrong..

 
neongoby, your CL charges are so different btw be4 cny and after cny. Usually 1st child will be due ard edd but there are exceptions so no need to worry [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



preciousbabi, actually i got encounter be4 when i'm doing my 1st confinement. I went down to a medical hall to buy longan and red dates. The shop auntie is my classmate's mum. When she heard that i'm still doing my confinement, her facial expression changed abit. My mum also know this auntie and my mum say some dun like confinement woman to enter their shop coz bad luck. I think maybe applicable to those pantang shopowners ba

 
Valerie - maybe u let ur hubby decide how much to give?



haha me too, exactly after 1 month, we may still be v tired, still fat and ugly, hair messy, then hv to meet all the relatives... v paiseh leh....

 
Charmaine,



Yar,I onli knew it when my mother experience frozen shoulder, and my aunties told me. When I wanna re-pack an ang bao for my mom, she says it's ok since already over confinement le- meaning she already knew it all along but she did not ask me for it.. Felt bad again now when recalling.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



Judy,



Oh my, seems like u have a 'possessive' MIL hor.. Dealing with MIL if she insisted her way, I will say dunnoe lei, my mother says she will pay for it. If my own mother, i will say my MIL insisted paying to let me rest. Provided dh must be 'cooperative' also lar. Ke Ke! It always works for me to save me from explaining much. :p

 


ya she told me she do confinement every month until v tired, if not a lot, she might as well stay in Malaysia to celebrate CNY. so ya ya hor?

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

H
Husband visit happy ending massages
Replies
0
Views
97
Huy
H
L
Polyps and Positive HCG
Replies
0
Views
160
Letitbegood
L
L
Am I pregnant?
Replies
1
Views
2K
joysl82
J
K
Concern About Teacher Conduct – Seeking Advice from Parents
Replies
0
Views
254
Koalamom
K
mrkva
Struggling with chronic fatigue and digestive issues?
Replies
0
Views
124
mrkva
mrkva

Back
Top