(2009/09) September 2009 MTBs

ling

admired pple like ur hub who don't use wife's money...my own opinion la...and ur hub really sounds like a gd man. at least he is filial lor...pple say a filial son cld nt haf been a bad person...so in a sense, despite ur mil issue, u are still xinfu de...

juz a silly idea...since ur sis in law can live in same block and same level as u guys, u and hub can also do same isn't it?? difficult to get same level, then same block lor...same block don't haf, then hw abt next block??

next time gt #2 le also squeezy to stay in 3rm. that will be 5 pple liao...
 


girly..

Yea, thats why i love hubby so much.
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eh.. dun really get ur idea leh.. We want to move far away from them. Dun want their kids to influence their bad manners to bb. We are tryin to move out hopefully next yr when we save enough for reno. He say wana move, must reno nice nice.. Hubby is the type who wont proceed if he dun have the money n confidence to support it de.
 
ling

coz tot u want to live on ur own (without ur mil)?? bt if u move liao bt then mil still tag along still back to square one isn't it??

bt if stay same area, still gt excuse nt to tag mil along lor...at least u will haf privacy and breathing space, decorate the hse ur way, do things ur way in ur own roof bt yet still near enough to let pple know that u and hub are nt 'abandoning' mil, still like 'staying 2gether', u get what i mean?

no matter what it's legally ur hse liao, ur mil and sil come, muz still knock door before going into ur hse mah...
 
girly..

its not possible de. Who will my MIL live with? My SIL? No way de.. They also live in a 3 room flat n their 3 bedrooms are knocked as one. Where my MIL slp? My SIL wont take her in also de. So if we move, be it near or far, MIL will still have to tag along. I got no choice de.. Bo bian..
 
ling

oh u mean she cannot live on her own in her current 3rms flat?? no matter what will sell her hse and follow u and ur hub??

last time when i still staying wif mil in her 4rms flat, sil live there too...after that we moved out and there left mil and sil only...so after sil gt married, mil downgrade to 3rms flat and has been staying alone since then...

most time she is working, other than that she gt her mahjong sessions...she is still fit and able so we don't see any prob with her staying alone...though sounds pathetic bt we are having a cordial relationship all these years...all her children will go her hse to visit her during weekends...

bt of course there will be a day which she won't be able to work anymore, either too old or too sick, by then we'll see how again...that will be future problem liao, i don't want to think abt it now...now gt now things to fan...
 
ling

anyway juz a silly idea of mine coz think many youngsters practising this nowadays...get a flat near to where parents stay...it'll be so near yet so far kind of feeling...still like staying 2gether bt gt a hse of our own...

me and mil's hse actually juz less than 5min drives, consider as walking distance bt walk will be quite far lor...hmm...few bus stops away bah...

bt if ur mil is those even live same block with her bt she will still sell her hse and die die muz stick with the son de, ya that is really bohbian lor...juz hope that now it's her turn to live under ur roof, her attitudes, habits will change or tone down a bit lor...
 
girly...

I dun tink his mum can own the flat alone. The current flat is under hubby n her name. I tink unless hubby is able to fork out the amt he took from CPF in cash to pay back to CPF, there is no way she can have the current flat on her own. But i tink she not the type who die die wana stay with us de.. Cos kena restrict ma.. When she go out gambling, she know hubby not happy de.. so everytime she tou tou mo mo lo.. last time she also ever tell us to move out she wana stay there.. But cannot la.. Even if hubby can afford to pay back CPF, n she lives on her own, we will still be the ones to support the house n her allowances. That would be even worse ma.. heavier burden.

Yea.. When we do get our own house, Me n hubby will have the say in the deco. Not just our room but the whole house. Maybe only her room then will leave it to her. I will make sure that the house is clean n neat.. I wont let her leave things lying ard like now.

U know when she cooks today, she wont wash the pots n pans till the next time she cooks? n if she dun cook for days.. those left over food are alr rotting inside de. The dishes she use also wont wash till the next day one.. Eyuckz... I will normally just wash hubby's n my own dishes.

N when that day comes, I wont close my eye le. Hubby cannot tell me to leave the kitchen and the hall to her anymore. Its my house!
 
ling

oic...the hse under ur hub and mil's name...then it's difficult...

yeah right right...ur hse, u do it UR way
happy.gif


so for now, don't brood anymore okay, stay happy for hub and bb...
 
milkyway> ermm.. when i post that i puke.. i puke loh..
i dun puke all the time.. but when i do... i'll let u all know.. hahahaha.. :p

We can prob organise some lunch outings.. we can all meet up at Raffles Place for lunch..
I can meet for lunch then go back office.. not an issue..
happy.gif


girly> now i take alot of Bubble Tea also.. but i realise i cant really take milk tea... sigh..
Milk is giving me all the nausea problems now.. i'm feeling better when i drink the non milk ones...
Even HL is giving me prob now.. sigh....

delfine>its on and off.. depends on what i eat loh.. sianz.. this afternoon was horrible... literally all the lunch that went into my stomach came out in 1 hour...
still so "fresh"... i could feel the grains of the rice coming out man.. hahaha..
sorry.. abit er xin here.. hahaha.. :p

I had Cafe Cartel's Ribs at 5plus.. and then i had curry puff from Old Chang Kee at 8plus..with Champagne Grape Red Tea from Sweetalk.. hahha. :p

mama6> hahaha... the good thing abt my ILs is that they dun really care.. let us do anything and decide ourselves..
and HB not very close to them also....
But MIL is a nice person la... as in.. treat me not bad.. coz we not staying together ma.. but very stingy.. haahha
dun mention $$ then nothing will go wrong....

jenifur> yeah!! i stay in yishun... let me know when u all meeting up.. :p
PM me ur numbers!!
happy.gif


Ling> hahaha.. sounds bad... jiayou!!! pray u faster get ur own house soon..and by then keep my HB in mind to do nice nice reno for u...
hahahaha.. :p
 
girly..

yea.. will try to make myself feel better for hb n bb's sake. Just hoping that hubby will come home soon. only managed to talk to him for 1 min on the phone n a couple of mins online today..

Me off to fold the clothes le. Just brought them in.
 
<font face="Comic Sans Ms"><font color="0000ff"><u>Detail Scan at 20wks</u>

Any mummy skip the above or not planning to do?

I'm supposed to do on Mon but hor now my DH ask me not to do it. He said no point since irregardless e result, we will still be keeping e baby. Why go thru e stress?

Do you tink I shld skip the detail scan? Dun tink it's compulsory rite? Sometimes hor my DH's thinking very radical *sigh*

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mil topic,
comparatively, i think i've gotta a pretty good mil who's quite hands off with our lives. my mil gets $500 from my husband every month. other than that, she's pretty self-sufficient. she not into the confinement stuff, and certainly doesn't like taking care of babies cos she finds them troublesome. she teaches chinese tuition on weekdays and supplements her income by playing mahjong on the weekends. but she's not hardcore gambler type, cos i played with her a couple of times and she plays even smaller and safer than when i play with my own friends/family.

she's quite friendly with me, cos both her sons are very quiet, and she kinda treats me as her own daughter, even though we don't visit her that often (maybe once every two months). she calls me on the phone once a week, and has given up calling my husband already cos he doesn't like answering her calls. she's divorced since 1997 and socializes a lot since her divorce, joined a middle age singles club and goes karaok-ing. she even had a widower taxi driver boyfriend a while ago, so she would call me and tell me abt her boyfriend, problems with the boyfriend's family, breaking up, etc. a couple of times she even ask me to go ask my fil if he was still together with his mistress (that was the reason why she wanted a divorce) since both her sons don't buy the story and would never ever help her to ask fil that question. hahaa quite hilarious to listen to her stories. and my mil definately cooks better than my own mum!

i've asked my mil a couple of times if she wants to move in with us into our new place, cos quite poor thing for her to live alone that time when my husband's younger brother was staying in uni hostel. but she even refuses my offer to even stay overnight at my place, cos she feels obliged to stay at her own home and take care of the younger brother. to her, the younger son is always a baby no matter how old he gets. now she worries abt whether he'll find a gf, whether he'll be cheated by gals etc. i always have to tell her to give the brother more breathing space.
 
rach,
me and husband and boy sleep in one room, that's why i feel it's very cramped. hahaa, no luxury of walk in wardrobe in this house cos we bought it after the en bloc annoucement. no reno done at all. just moved in and living with all the 1970s tiles, stove, floor etc from the previous owner. on good days, i will think it's very retro and on not-so-good days, i'll be dying to get out of the current flat.

mamato6Js,
yah, it's quite sad that your mil no longer around to see her grandson when he's born later this year. i'm sure she must have been crazy abt your younger gal!

ling,
is there any possible part time job that you can take up now (that's not labour intensive) ie giving tuition, phone-based, internet-based type of part time job. cos maybe earning a bit of income will take your mind off your strained relationship with your mil, but you'll feel good to be able to help supplement your husband's income a little even if it's just for a couple of months.

jenifur,
i'll definately be going for the detailed scan. hmm, rarely hear of anyone skipping that.
 
dear MTBs, sorry for the interruption. am from June09 thread. My mum has been making quite a few beansprout husk pillows so helping her to let it go at reasonable price. Two colours available, measuring 35cm by 16cm. Letting go at $8 each for self collection. Interested, pls PM me.
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Jenifur..

I dun tink the detailed scan is compulsory but to me its impt lo.. I will wana know how bb is growing n doing inside me n prepare myself should anything (touchwood) is wrong. This does not mean I wont want bb if something is wrong but it prepares my heart. Its always better to detect things early and maybe still got cure or something? Imagine only to have found out when bb is born? Things might have alr been too late?
but this is just my opinion la..

Why the last min change in mind?
 
jenifur> depends on why u are doing the detailed scan.. for us... it was never meant to be a means of keeping the baby or not.. but to know how my baby is progressing...

Based on what u are saying.. then we all dun need to do monthly ultrasounds.... for what?? since we will be keeping the baby regardless of how baby is doing... I didnt do the Down Syndrome blood test or OSCARs test.. coz we will be keeping the baby regardless....

But detailed scan was more for us to know how baby is progressing and whether all the organs and structure is fine.. if lets say the baby is too small for the size.. at least we can start eating more or more nutritious or watever to improve the situation.. and if baby is too big then watch our diet etc etc....

Not really to keep or not... besides.. 5 months is a tad too late to abort the baby leh.. risky...
Need induction probably...

So the objective of detailed scan to us was never abt keeping baby or not.. but to know bb's health and growth situation..
happy.gif


sandwich> wah... but how come move in without reno?? so what if enbloc?? u mean its going to be en bloc soon?? so just save the $$??
 
Thanks Jenifur, for your previous schedule of breast feeding. its helpful, but its really a tight schedule during office hour.

Thanks sandwich for digging our details &amp; receipts of your PD.
 
Ling,

i see alot of gamblers out there, naturelly i duno why , gamblers always bad in hygene.. they are so engross in winning.. they care for noting...

any possible for u get a house of your very own , i mean u &amp; ur hubby home in future...
 
Jenifur,

im fine, jus busy go swiming evry day , from Mon-Thur. very on hor.. but Friday i flat out... to rest very tired... after swimming, its help for my back problem too.

whenever i back to work , i dun have time to log in here one.. usualy will only log in in the evening but at times, oso tired duno why..

today i jus walk abit my both legs for tiring...

thanks for asking
happy.gif


i wil go to chiropratic next week to check on my back problem too. therapy does help but its not prolong...
 
Ling,
last sat i also cried the whole day. its jus wun stopped, isit hormone ah? i depressing tired and backache making me handicap, and preggie tis cannot tt cannot,very torturing... i very scare to cry again, im affraid will affect my bb. whenever i cry, i feel like bb oso feeling sad....

if u have a chance, u try to go some swiming or brisk walking to relax yourself.
 
mamato6js,
i bb really move alot from morning to nite.. feeling like bb somersault.

for today , some bb move,make me wana pee. why ah?
 
talking abt detailed scan, i'm gg have mine next Tues when i'm 18w4d.. i juz woke up from a nitemare tis morning.. dreamt tat i was playing with a doll n e doll has 9 toes (means 1 feet having 4 toes) then i was so worried.. during e scan (in my dream) doc told me bb had 11 toes n 8 fingers!!
i was so sad!! n doc asked me to make a decision if i wan to abort e preg or not.. wa.. shocked n sad till i woke up crying..

flower4: everytime u swim, swim how many laps ah? do we swim like usual pre-preg stage? now i swim ard 15 laps, i v bored liao.. n it's v hard to "avoid" on coming swimmers in public pools.. but yet after swimming my limbs dun ache.. like nv work out like tat
 
flower..

Yes, its possible and we're working on it. However, my MIL will still be with us. But the new flat will be under hubby n my name la.

Ya.. Been crying since Thurs. Sometimes i'm ok, somtimes I'm not. Only managed to hear hubby's voice for 1 min on Fri and ard 2 mins yesterday. I didn't have time to really talk to him or even tell him how I was. I also forgot what I wanted to tell him. I just concentrated on holding back my tears while he talks. Didnt want him to hear me cry. He will get very worried n cos he cant do much, he will get pek chek.

Ya.. when I cry, I also feel that bb is affected somehow. But I really duno how to curb those feelings from coming. It comes so natural and I just started bursting into tears lo.

Will try to go for a walk one of these days ba. I need to get away from my MIL also.. The sight of her pisses me off now. I can be stuck in my room for many hours when she's in the house.
 
cho...

Dun worry.. you must have tink too much during the day. 日有所思，夜有所梦！

Dreams are also said to be opposite of reality right? Dun worry. your bb will be fine.

hmm.. btw, can do so early meh? I'm doing mine on the 30th. should be ard 20 weeks 2 days I tink.
 
Ling: tks Ling.. i woke up feeling so sad..!! but i like vaguely recalled tat i saw 10 toes and 10 fingers during 1 of e scans.. phew.. my gynae say can leh.. hmm.. actually i dunno if it's detailed scan.. but he say wan to check bb's nose, heart chambers, stomach etc.. look close up see form well not.. so sounds like a detailed scan to me leh..

haha.. btw, anyone gg for New Mum's Exhibition at Expo next weekend??

was wondering if i shld get my pram etc during e fair or wait till great sg sale leh.. any mums can advise?
 
ling: thanks thanks.. btw, dun worry abt ur MIL.. my MIL will nag at me (or rather my hubby.. coz she speaks dialect to my hubby) to eat more.. n to her it seems like i'm nt eating purposely to lose wt.. but i try nt to get affected oso.. coz 1) not true 2) waste of time to explain to her tat preg women do not take 3 meals a day for 2 person 3) preg women tend to take smaller meals but more freq

so i do nt wan to waste time w her.. luckily hubby q supportive, will fend off his mum for me.. but MIL q ok to me still la.. if i say i wanna drink sth else, she'll offer to cook it next meal for me.. juz a bit naggy i feel..

flower: regarding crying.. i read in a book tat occassional crying is ok.. (so long as nt depression type) coz it helps bb experience periods of stressful times or sth.. so bb can learn how to handle.. but dun cry too often la..
 
<font face="Comic sans ms"><font color="0000ff">Morning Mummy... sneak in here to take a look b4 we head off to church</font>

<font color="aa00aa">Ling/Rach,

DH's level of faith has been soaring ever since he accepted Christ 2 yrs ago. Honestly it's kinds stressful for me as he imposed his level of faith on all of us.

He believes that as a child of God, we are blessed hence all these scans are not necessary. Jesus formed our baby &amp; therefore our baby had to be perfect, healthy &amp; normal inside me. (Jeremiah 1:5)

In fact, he really feels that the monthly visits are not needed too. He believes that ALL we've to do is to place my faith on the finished work of GOD &amp; pray. For with God nothing will be impossible. U know hor whenever I express concern like BB not moving etc, he will ask me to confess Psalm 139:13-16.

He is now reading e book "God's Plan for Pregnancy" by Pastor Nerida Walker. I'm expecting more "funny" stuff from him lor.

He kept telling me tt I've been very blessed in my previous pregnancy despite not praying, gain only 5kg, relatively painless short labour, great gynae, fast healing after childbirth, abundant milkflow etc. This pregnancy will even better if only I start praying.

anw think he has relent after I refused to talk to him yesterday. After he prayed over me last nite, he apologies for imposing his level of faith on me AGAIN!!! Mayb I shld be glad that the priest of my household has such high level of faith.

Tks for hearing me grumble *hee*</font></font>
 
hi all mummies,

everybody got so many things to complain =x

ops. keke. cos i live alone with hubby. so dun really have any mil problems. juz try to give in, than hope all will go well.

btw, i'm trying to buy some clothes for my boy. anyone can tell me wat's de diff btw pp pants, training pants n other type of baby pants?

thanx in advance.
 
<font color="0000ff">Jenifur..

Well, anytime man.. Me also do grumble a lot here ma..

hmm.. Its good to have a certain faith level but Its does not mean we don't have to see the doc when we're sick or when we may need help.

I once heard a story told in church many many yrs ago. If i dun remember wrongly, its a true story told. It goes something lidat...

There was tis full of faith Christian mountain climber who accidentally fall off the cliff but He managed to cling onto a branch. It was snowing and freezing cold but this man had great fatith in God and believed in his heart that God would save him. He prayed n prayed n he heard a voice many times telling him to let go of the branch. But he just refused and continued believing that God would save him. He just didnt have the faith to believe that it was the voice of God. In the end, he freezed to death while hanging on the branch just a few feets from the ground. Sounds stupid, but yea.. it happened.

Sometimes God sents others to help us when we are in need and its really up to us to discern whether its a voice of God or not lo.

Since u have concerns like bb not moving n stuffs.. Its still better to have it checked out lo. Like Rach mentioned, its why u are goin to see the gynae or why u are doin to scan. It doesnt mean that by doin so, we wont want bb if we found out something is wrong ma. And its really too late to abort bb now also..

Go for the scan ba, n dun forget ur regular gynae check ups. :D</font>
 
rach,
for our case, we knew it was en bloc then we purchased the flat from an ad in the papers. so we paid to buy over the owner's en bloc status. no point renovating cos that time we were newly weds and poor. and by the time finished paperwork for old flat, we already selected new flat unit, fixed the payment options for new flat etc. when buying over old flat, HDB also made us sign an agreement that we couldn't hack down the kitchen cabinets, and dunno what else, can't remember.
 
Yea!..

Today just spoke to hubby abt me wanting to engage a CL le. He said ok but want me to talk to my MIL myself. I'm goin to tell her that my mum has hired one for me le. She's apparently not home yet so will tell her first thing when i see her tmr. Since she knew i went to my mum's place today, can just tell her that I was told only today lo. I "pakat" with mum liao. heez.. Hubby also tell me to to tell her that the CL is slping with her in her room but on a mattress la. If she die die dun want, then CL will slp with me n bb in the room while hubby slps in the hall.. Poor him if his mum refuses. Hb also say if she throw tantrum then let her be, aft a while she should be ok liao. So I dun care, cos I really dun want her doin my confinement.

Will see how it goes tmr...
 
cho!! wow , u swim 15 laps? ! tat alot leh. me the most 8laps heee. i usually stay in the pool for 45mins la. inlculding rest.

last week, i swim everyday from mon-thur, come to friday, my body signal me tired lioa...

y mus feel ache to feel u work out leh? u wana build muscle ah? for me i jus wan my back to be strengthen.

but for me, i feel my arms are more aching.. maybe you try to swim faster lor. per lap, wat do you think?
 
ling,
u seems like no choice, but have to stay with ur MIL lor.. thnk of it, very poor ting if she so old lioa and staying alone..

did u try to understand your MIL. ? maybe she lonely too cuz she oso no more hubby lioa mah...

marriage is not only marry to ur hubby, but to your hubby's family too leh. sianz hor..
 
Morning all!!

Huishan,
u wanna meet for lunch this week? anyone else working in raffles place area and can meet for lunch? I'm fine with tues,wed or thurs.. do let me know your availability.. u do not accept pm. Pls pm me ur mobile. thanks
 
flower..

hmm.. I would agree with you to a certain extend but this has always been the culture of hubby's family I would say. My MIL has always been a very 我行我素 kinda person. She doesn't tell anyone where she goes nor likes anyone to bother with the things she does. She just do what she likes lo. As mentioned before,even if we wana take her out, many times she would reject or made it very very short. She nv felt comfortable goin out with us. Her way of living is clearly visible and hardly stays home. According to hubby, she has no short of friends too. Everyone nearby seems to know her one lo. I mean, how to really get to know or understand her then?

Marriage is definately not just all abt me n hubby but partly also to our families. Hubby gets along quite well with my family while i cant. Difference is prob in the living together and not living together lo. I have nv seemed to be able to blend into his famliy. The way of living is just so different. Even hubby complains abt them. He doesnt have a choice, neither do I. His parents have always been gamblers and yah.. they are very hot-tempered. Even hubby can be very hot-tempered at times. Heated arguements with him was common in the past. But he's learned n tried to toned down his temper a lot. Can really see the change in him. I have also learned how to accomodate him n his so-called temper cos I dun blame him for who he is now but how he was brought up.

Anyway, all i wanted now was for a proper and experienced CL to do my confinement.
 
yo milkyway, sorry. do u mean by default i do not accept PM? hmmm

jus realise this week, all my lunch got appointment.

sorry for the inconvenience caused.

how abt next week??
 
Have managed to speak to my MIL when she came back ard 12.30pm last night. I told her that my mum has engaged a CL for me. Then she just replied, "for what? tell her dun want. why? u dun want me do ah?" So i just told her alr booked n depo paid. She went on asking,"where is she goin to slp? where got space? goin to do confinemt at my mums?" I told her that the CL with bunk in with her for that 1 mth lo. See how la, if she's really not happy abt it then maybe doin it at my mum's place could be another option lo. Can see from her eyes n body language that she's really not happy abt it. She just turned her head and said "ok lo".

At that moment and for quite some time, I do feel bad. But when I tink of bb n myself, I really had no choice lo.
 
Huishan,

yup u do not accept PM, not sure if it's by default.
next wk is fine too. let me know lor.

Ling, glad ur mil agrees to the CL. Mayb u try to sort out the slping arrangement. If not, u have to let ur mum know early that u will be doing confinement at her place too rite? so now u can book ur CL. Don't feel bad lah since it's for urself and bb's gd. Must try to think positive no matter wat, even if it's bad for others. It's only for this period mah.
 
Ling

somehow no need to feel bad lor...ur mil actually gt nothing to lose also...and there's no guanranteed that she will do a good job. hmm...can't rem who said, anyway u might end up doing all things by urself...

see...things turned out not so bad what...u already forsee that she will be unhappy bt at least she agreed lor right?...must think of ownself and bb 1st coz bb is urs so are ur health...

and ur hub so nice so supportive...
 

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