Re: Wakes
When I found out that I could possibly be pregnant, symptoms of nausea and only confirm with pregnancy kit, my grandfather passed away during that week, and the whole time I couldn't attend the wake, the 7 days, or the 49 days. Partially out of respect for my PIL, but my PILs went in my place. It was awkward in the sense I was the eldest fraternal grandchild, so in that sense there's a bit of social hierachy to be observed in the ceremonial rituals.
Anyways, just to find out more, I went to read up on death rituals and customs in Singapore. Generally, females are not highly regarded in the order of rituals (why? can't remember clearly), and also during wakes, there tend to be wandering spirits, and unborn babies, still developing, have weak spirits, so not good to be near a wake. Eventually, I told my mum I'm possibly pregnant, but I can't confirm the condition of the pregnancy until I see the gynae at 8 weeks, turns out I was approx. 5 weeks pregnant then, so she had to speak to my grandma to let her understand. I also don't know to what extent my PILs mind, but if they didn't want my hubby and I to go, got no choice also, it's their grandchild too.
As for weddings, when I did my wedding, I heard about preggers shouldn't "clash" with the wedding couple. So 2 weeks ago, my hubby got an invitation from a colleague who attended ours, I asked him to inquire first. Sometimes the couple may not mind, but the older folks do, depending on whether they are pantang a not. Marriage, union, and forming families are joyous things lar, why preggers should avoid really beats me.
