(2009/07) July 2009 MTBs

mashy
wah. when it clashes, should dey jus hold? why so kanchiong to hold the celebration. esp when the mother still so weak. if im u surely offended also.

elijah's mummy
i did heard of such PIL who blame their DIL for not visiting them wif the grandson during confinement. but main ting is, if u haf no prob travelling, why cannt travel to see ur DIL and grandson? we need ample of rest after delivery and am busy loookin after our child. dey not willing to help is okie. but still wan to pick on this and tat. sigh.

PIL realli shake head.
 


pprincess,

u r a strong young lady i must say.
happy.gif


having bb definitely need alot of $$ so it best 2 hv more $$ than those gifts, IMO. Esp when ur darling comes out, probably u'll still be buying stuff 4 him. 4 me, i'm still buying and buying non stop 4 my #1. jz couldnt stop! hb alreadi "given up" on me. haha...

mashy,

lucky u!
happy.gif


elijah's mummy,

my hb asked my PILs dun need 2 come 2 visit me in hospital & i was glad! cos i'm nt close 2 them due 2 some reasons. so very glad tat i dun see them! :p

do agree tat our own parents (of cos some exception cases) r the best. my dad offered 2 pay everyting since the birth of my #1. and even 1st BD. very touched but of cos, still within my financial means, i wont touch my dad's $$. Hee...

re : car seats.

oh i'm aso lookin 4 car seats nw. wan 2 ask any difference between those cheaper ones and expensive ones? price diff can be as much as 300, 400 plus leh.

http://www.babystudio.com.sg/index.php?act=viewCat&catId=43
 
hi Elijah'smuumy & mashy,
Wah. I hope my PILs will be nice during my confinement. Cannot imagine dealing with all the pregger hormones, bb and upsetting PIL.

Luckily my PILs till now still pretty nice. They don't really know how to express their concern or cook lotsa tonics or buy bb stuff, but two days ago was quite touched. Cos the husband went to get his old bolster for me, then next day mil called asked him bring old bolster down cos they bought a nwe termite-free one for me =)
 
elijah mum, hi5! my mil also those kind that man not supposed to do housework. N hor man shld eat first & wife eat last! Sometimes dont even have single rice left for me. :S

When i told her i'm pregnant (even b4 i told her the bb sex), she went ard telling that i'm carrying a boy. (heng ya!)
 
lamagier - that means 2 parties. a bit troublesome to plan. i think i will stick to full month. do you know the market rate on how much we should spend on baby cakes during full month ? dont want to overspend (looking at patisierre but so ex$$$) and dont want to be too el cheapo
 
mashy, princess

yah ... sigh talk about inlaws and i think we all have our own issues with them!!! haiz...

mashy

here are articles that talks about the car seat and why not to get second hand...
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/buyingforbaby/knowhow/secondhand/
http://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/products/carsafety/buyingsecondhand.asp
http://www.mothercare.com.sg/carseatfeature.asp

princess

we both don have a car... PILs also don have car... so the only way of transport is the public transport... if so how to bring young baby out? even with taxi, i would worry about the germs that the taxi driver is carrying... :p hahah about then again once after the first mth i think baby is normally strong enough if there is some one to drive you around...
 
esther
wah! till nw still buying when ur #2 coming out in a few months time! LOL. if im ur husband i also gif up. but i tink sometimes we jus cannt resist. esp for #1 we wan to best and everiting jus buy and buy.
jus like when dey sae normall #1 u will b veri careful or wad u eat and all tat but when u haf #2 onwards u dun realli mind wad u eat animore. everiting also anihow. hahas!

lamagier
u haf such gd ILs! but i tink that they wun b so bad bahs. seein wad dey did for u. purposely buy 1 new terminte free bolester for u!
 
twinkle

wah, your ILs also. seems like a lot of ILs are all abit screw loose up there. What rubbish is this, man eat first and wife eat last? Treated like maid. And u mean your hb don't leave any food for u?

In my hb's household, my MIL also trained my SIL to do housework. So before he was married, he didn't have to lift a finger. He only started doing housework after he married me. hehe. I think his mom knows that i made him do housework but at least she kept quiet abt it lah.
 
elijah's mummy
i still rather headache on hw im goin to do. bcos for my bb's chinese name im going to fortune telling. i asked my fren whether can i pay first then when bb born, i jus call or sms the time of birth and date of birth then the shi fu tell me the name not. else veri ma fan to bring bb out and haf to make 2 trips! bcos i haf to go down 1 time to calculate names and 2nd time to ICA to do BC. bringing NB out realli scares me. my fren sae she can ask her hubby to fetch me and she can help me out wif baby since nw she jus given birth also. shake head.

i tink until bb 3rd month, i will try not to bring out bb tat much other then for injections and check up or to ICA.
 
pprincess

u r rite! during my #1 (preggy), i was super careful abt my food intake, diet, drinks etc. now 4 #2, all sorts of food i aso eat! boh chap man! must compensate my loss during #1's time mah. i even drink coke tis time! my hb will look @ me and use his eyes 2 "question" me, guess wat i say...

"ai ya, ur son wants to drink, nt me hor!" haha...
 
esty

hahah... after that incident... man i don want to see them at all! but then haiz... what can i say.... she can even call and ask if i got take any 'bu' anot... but then she also never got any for me. so 'bu' from where?

twinkle

haiz yah... she can even complain that i let hubby carry everything!!! but then i preggy leh... hubby don want me to carry coz weekdays i have to do everything myself... then only see PIL is weekend mah... so hubby want me to rest loh...
MIL's impression is that man go out is max carry baby only the rest.. 'pram, baby bag, etc...' all must be carried by the woman loh... then if man don carry the baby, woman still got to handle it!! haiz that is all i can do.... sigh

oh my MIL wants us to have gal leh... she kept saying that no.2 must be gal... then i told her boy she got angry... then after that tell hubby that she wants us to have no.3
 
pprincess,

i tot birth name can be done in hospitals rite? my #1 done in hospital within my stay. as 4 her chinese name, i aso went to those naming centre.

I went to settle my gal name b4 i delivered. the shi fu told me he dun look at the "sheng cheng ba zi". his practice is the name must be gd in everyting such as "filial, obedient, "ren yuan", healthy" etc...
 
Hi bestberries,
Typically my collleagues give the bengawan solo cake vouchers. Think each one less than $10. Got a colleague give mini Famous Amos cookies in nice gift box.

haha, I actually dunno if my sister got give full month cakes or not. Must go check with her
 
elijah's mummy,

same aso! my MIL aso never mk any tonics 4 me and my hb dares 2 tell me my MIL actually dotes on me. secretly i tinking, better dun mk tonics or dotes on me, cos i will tink she got other "motives" due 2 past experiences...

my god! ur MIL is reali those traditional woman!

tink i will go crazy!
 
elijah's mummy,
Your mil very weird leh... Eh, she thinks women like olden days ah ma issit? if she goes holland she will flip.
I used to work in Hollandse Club. Dutch men very gentlemanly. Usually daddies carry bb carriers and all the bags. Mummies walk hands free. Mummies eat first. After finish their meal, take over the bb so daddies eat. I thot that's so nice of Dutch man. More guys should do that
 
esther
u realli know hw to use ur baby as excuse hor! hahas! when i eat unhealthy ting or drink coke my colleagues will look at me and ask me is it UR cravings or isit BABY'S cravings. then i will jus smile back at them. bcos sometimes is mine, sometimes is baby's. LOL. in my case, i quite bo chap wif wad i eat. bcos i feel tat as long as nt liang, i can eat. bcos baby is also human =p jus take moderate

BC can be done in hospitals. but for single mum like me can onli go down to ICA. then in my case, if i wan my bf's name to be in BC, ICA still haf to arrange to visit him and let him sign the form bcos we're not married. which actualli will delay the whole ting. i dun wan my bb first month go to clinic do injections no BC =x so realli haf to rush everiting.

i thought that dey count name bcos of the elements of the timing the child is born and all tat? so far all i hear is like tat. i hear even more 'li pu' 1 is they even change the father and mother's name! but then realli everiting did change to b better
 
mashy, my hb knows my mil's pattern. he bo chap her & ask me eat wif him to eat. haha.
oh cos my mil v TRADITIONAL. must eat in terms of ranking. eldest eat 1st then followed by nxt sibling. my hb rank 4th lor. so if the eldest come back home late, we hv to wait till he finish then the nxt sibling eat. sometimes by time i can eat already 9pm or 10pm+ liao.

But situation change after i'm pregnant. now when i reach her plc, my mil will 'u eat first u eat first'. haha. JUMP QUEUE! :p

elijah mum, then ur mil more jialat wor. now i'm pregnant, i'm treated as a QUEEN liao. she will remind my hb i cannot carry things.... cannot do housework....
happy.gif
 
twinkle
lucky u nw hafing boy. bcos i hate those elderly lor, when onli tell them pregnant, they go around sae is boy. then when come out is girl, dey gif u 1 face as if is ur fault like tat! sometimes reali wish to tell them, whether girl or boy also depends on the guy's sperm, not our egg lor. LOL
 
re: MIL

hahah... haiz... hahah hubby has also given up on his mum...
:p actually my hubby is like those man leh... every weekend is he carry everything and then... if we go out to eat.. he will carry baby away and then i eat first leh... so not much to complain... hahah in fact think i got good life... only bad thing is PILs ... :p
 
thanks princess and bunbun, i've saved the link and will check it out later, hehehe.

re: baby shower
the baby registry sounds logic cos people buy wat we need and also in their budget, instead of getting us something that maybe we bought already unless it's cash, hehehehe

re: inlaws
inlaws stories are endless, hehehehe. although i have my fair share too, hehehe, try to be positive and dun think too much, now it's time to be happy cos happy mommy makes happy babies.
 
pprincess

haha, yah, lucky my #1 is boy too. So no need so jia lut. My ILs also very 'zhong nan qing nv'. Even before scan for my #1 already assumed boy. Now with #2, my MIL still wanted a boy! Then she said that's not coz she's prejudiced, but boy easier to clean, easier to go toilet next time etc. Rubbish lah.
 
pprincess, yalor. same case for my da sao. when she was pregnant, my mil also went ard telling pple is a boy (heng also a boy) & her 1st grandson. when the neighbour said her own daughter also bear her grandson too ma. my mil said NO. that one is 'wai' not 'nei' so not consider. :S
 
Sigh, my grandma is dying. Just to get some opinions. Do MTBs think it's ok for me to go to the wake and go through the rituals, burn joss paper etc? And is there a need to check with my PILs to check it they mind me going to my grandma's wake?
My own mum is ok, just that she told me no need to rush down to my grandma's deathbed, cos she herself dun think it's good for me to be there while my grandma breathes her last
 
lamagier

think it's ok to go for funerals esp since she's your own grandma! Just don't go thru the rituals like kneeling & getting up etc.
 
pprincess,

4 the naming shi fu i went to, dun need 2 see the time of the birth which save me the hassle of rushing dwn 2 do name then do BC. so tis shi fu style suits me and hb.
happy.gif


oh god i reali din knw tat there are such MILs ard, must eat according 2 seniority?!
 
lamagier
when my mum pass awae i was preggy but i didnt know and still went ahead. and nw qing ming all tat we still go. i tink is check whether ur family members mind or not. but cannot kneel down.
 
Twinkle,
yr mil very jialat le, so traditional. If me, sure "black face face" with her. I am having second princess now...if at yr home, then "no place" to stand...hahaa.
Actually, my mil also very traditional. But I only get to see her in 3 or 4 times per year. So dun care....this is my life not your. As long as my kids are healthy, I am happy liao.
 
lamagier,

it's definitely ok 2 go 2 ur own grandma's wake! of cos u need 2 tell ur PILs out of respect 4 them. but as mashy mention, preggy women cant kneel.

tat time when my mum passed away, my sil was preggy, she wen thru the whole rituals wif us but of cos no kneeling. whenever we kneel, either she stands or sits on chair. and the "priest" will ask if any preggy women ard and if so, will advise wat 2 do.

happened tat 2 wks later was CNY. pple mention tat cant celebrate CNY rite but 4 daughters who r married away, still can celebrate!

4 me, i didnt go visiting to PILS or relatives. i told hb i not gg cos the one passing away is my beloved mum! i shd be mourning 4 her, not out celebrating! lucky hb considerate. but i dunno wat my PILs tink. anyway i dun care!
 
yen
bcos not too long after mu mum pass awae i dreamt of her, saying that she cannt 'shou' duno wad. then i tell my sis and my fren, but my sis didnt know tat im preggy at tat time, onli my fren know. so my fren went to check wif her mother and her mother sae that preggy lady are not supposed to kneel. not to their ancestors, not to god. bcos 1 preggy lady kneel = 2 people kneeling. and preggy lady is someting like 'big' status so if u kneel down in front of them, they might cannt take it. not sure hw true. but after tat i never kneel down and never realli dream of my mum animore.
 
pprincess,
oh...no wonder when I went to temple pray pray, i kneel down, a lot of "obasan" staring at me...If like tat, I have to stop kneeling to my home's guan ying.
 
elijah's mum - your MIL a bit too much. if me, i box her already. i queen what, can do what i like. tell her to shuddup. my MIL is opposite, she wants to be very hands on, so much until it irritates me, cos she wants to buy all the baby furniture and baby clothes. i'm like, GET OUT OF MY HAIR ! anyway, i went ahead and bought some baby items without telling her, so i think she gets the hint that i prefer to do things my own way. also i hinted to SIL that me and my mum very excited abt getting stuff, so dont need MIL to meddle

lamagier - wah, dutch men really very gentlemen hor ? i'm going to tell my hubby to train him. ha ha
 
yen
hahas! singaporean alwaes like tat. see u do wrong tings onli know hw to stare, but wun go up to u and correct u. even i also like tat =x if u see ppl never zip, is a female, will u go up to her and tell her? i find it rather weird to tell her. unless sae is damn obvious. if can conceal type i jus keep quiet. ahhaas.
 
pprincess

i ever went up to this lady and whispered to her that she never zipped leh. Hahaha. I'm one of those kay poh ones. Must go and tell, if not that night cannot sleep ah. hahahah.
 
bestberries
i guess mayb ur MIL is also excited to buy stuff for ur baby bcos it's twin? but sometimes dey too excited we dun like. LOL.

re: ILs
i came across this 2 aunties in the clinic 1 dae. they were talking. and this auntie was tellin the other auntie that her DIL alwaes buy new clothin for her etc. then the other auntie sae ur DIL so gd sia. so the auntie tell her is nowadaes youngster and us no longer the same. dun alwaes niam on wad dey do! let them do! onli can advise. youngster dun like us to sae too much, do too much. jus relax dun care so much lor. aniting they need help will come to u de!
that's the best ILs! :D
 
mashy
wah! cannt sleep somemore. i didnt lehs. i jus keep staring and tinkin whether i should tell or not. but then decide not to, bcos she is talking to a male fren. then if i jus suddenly tap her and whisper to her also paiseh right. moreover in the train. hw she going to zip. LOL
 
Hi pprincess, mashy, ester,
OK, I will take note not to kneel. Actual I also stop kneeling in front of my own buddha statue at home when I offer incense cos joints not as mobile in the morning.

I think most family members are ok with me going. Feel bad that I was on MC & leave on Mon-Tue and tmr going on compassionate leave. Just told my boss in the morning. He's ok, but also told me not to go to hospital cos not very suitable for pregger ladies. Luckily I did rush over to visit her last nite.


Re: traditional MIL
My mum also quite traditional last time. Daughters must train to do housework, sons dun need. Daughters go poly, sons go university cos daughters get married, whatever we earn will go to husband's side. Luckily she was open minded enough and end up all 4 of us (3 daughters, one son) all managed to go uni. The youngest graduating from SIM soon.

Funniest was end up my brother married a Canadian lady. Initially she was upset that my SIL won't call her "mum" ~ cos my SIL said my mum not her birth mother & overseas they address PIL by their given names. But now it's ok liao. My SIL will say "Hello" when she enters my mum place instead of say "Mum" =p
 
re: cramps around hip

this few days morning when i wake up hor, i use the correct ways to get up. meaning lie on the side then slowly legs down and body up etc. but hor, i experience veri bad hip cramp. is veri veri painful. esp when after i wake up i go to the toilet and urinate and need to use my muscle, the pain is veri bad. ani of u experience this? and sometimes thruout the dae i also will haf cramps around the hip on and off. damn bad
 
lamagier
i tink at least ur mum is willing to open up so in the end not so narrow minded lor
happy.gif
some ppl die also dun wan open up and keep tinkin their waes. tats is the worst.
 
Twinkle,
At first very stress, but now I know how to "let go" liao. Hubby also "dun care" what her mum say. Like what my father said "this thing is out of ourself control, so why go stress yourself le". It is true. Life is so short. Don't let others influence yr life. Enjoy what you have now and appreciate whatever God give you.
happy.gif
 
Hi bestberries,
Yah, a lot of Dutch men are like that, very very nice to the wife =) Haha, luckily my husband also quite considerate. Carry my laptop bag for me and these days drives me to work. But I die die won't let him carry my girly-looking bags =p

Hi yen,
Haha, I'm also wife of the only son & my FIL is the eldest son. But ok lah. My PIL never stress me & my grandmother-in-law also never say anything. Just tell me to eat more and eat whatever I want =p

Hi pprincess,
haha, cos my mum end up realize daughters are more openly concen about mother and show her a lot more care and concern. Now starting to realize daughters just as good as sons. She she realizes son-in-laws are very good chauffers
 
princess - ya i also have some pain around the hip. slight pain, on and off. i read that it happens, due to hormones or something. but not as serious as you describe. i'm 22 + weeks. how many weeks are you ?

lamagier - i let my hubby carry my handbags nowadays, cos i'm so big, ppl will think i'm popping soon so its natural for my hubby to carry my bag. ha ha
happy.gif


MIL
my hubby is only son too. at 1st i cld sense that my MIL dont like me to ask hubby to fetch me water, do little errands for me. but he dont mind and slowly she got used to it
happy.gif
I think she's excited abt twins, but she got so many grandchildren already so she used to buying things. always say the things i want to buy not practical etc, eg the brestfriend pillow. i wanted to buy but kena shot down by her, she say its totally useless. so wet blanket. up to now i dont know whether to buy or not
 
pprincess, bestberries,

i had tat sharp pain during my #1's time. on my right side. super pain till i walk like a penguin and even slower than a granny who happened to walk past me! no joke.

checked wif my gynae, he say my #1 was "sitting" on my right nerves tat caused the sharp pain ard the hip area...
 
esther - so did the pain go away after you gave birth. now that i think abt it, the pain is there whenever i stand up to walk. its near the joint between thigh and groin. think my baby is sitting there.
 


bestberries,

it will go away if ur bbs shift their positions. nt necessarily hv 2 wait till give birth.

same pain area 4 me tat time. i still rem i gotta 2 struggle 2 get up frm bed or frm sitting. 2 the extent, i dread of gg 2 bed cos need 2 get up. i took quite a while 2 get up.
 
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