(2009/06) June 2009 MTBs

hi audreyaw..... pour out ur heart will be better i think.... whether we do give advices or not, at least it's better than keeping in the heart. think of ur bb and be strong!!! know it mite be hard, but do try...

LFB, 5.15am?? omg.... i am supposed to wake up at 6.30am but every day i'm struggling. ha.... u reminds me of pple working in shipyards whereby the hours even for office pple are from 7am.

ur coll's daughter, when induced, how many weeks was she??? actually i've also heard of those stories and that make me always feel unease.

no matter what, even the day we are at the delivery ward, we will still be worrying.
 


Been receiving calls from my son's teacher since school started. I know he would bring trouble to the class but I also understand he doesn't want to do it that way. However, I felt really hurt when the teacher told me he is better off somewhere. I tried, my son tried and I also went KKH to get help for him, going to psychologist to counsel my boy but all these need time to see result.

I been feeling so regret to listen to the school to wait for them to refer my boy for further assessment and it took them more than a year of doing nothing. Wanted to go straight to KKH myself but couldn't cause I need school's referral letter. I should have insist my way then. They finally wrote me a letter almost end of last year and get him to KKH myself.

Now he has totally brainwashed himself, telling himself that he can't succeed in anything, not trying to do anything cause scared of being a failure and perhaps even negative comments from his teacher(s). Psychologist told me she could feel his heart is filled with unhappiness, he is very stressed towards himself, school.

I too wanted to get him into a school that suit him but no1 could tell me what to do. As a mother, I do not hope to see him turn into such kid. But I don't have a choice, he don't have a choice.

Right now, he hardly recognise any words. Not even boy, car even though he could spell them. He's not dyslexia but no idea what's his problem. Was told he is in grey area, abit of this and that. I believe he choose not to learn them, condemning himself.

All i know now is I have to re-teach him like a 4 year old and transfer him to a slower pace school for him. I am hoping someday he will open up his heart again..
 
Dear Audrey,

poor thing. I understand how you feel. It is terrible when such things happened. Just be close to your son and encourage and support him. You may feel discourage at times, but you must persist! Do not listen to those damn teachers. Remember, it's not abt succeeding in life, it's about being himself. Tell your son no matter how he fare, he will still be your son and you will still love him. Just give him some confidence. Try small tasks for a start, like waking up in the morning, folding sheets and even getting trash out. Give him tremendous encouragement and postive remarks. If he succeed, praise and reward him with small items. It'll be slow, but DO NOT GIVE UP! You and your hubby are his only lifeline now. Tell him he is unique and special in your eyes. Confidence is built gradually. Need be, transfer him and advice the new school. Have them to support. You support too. PM me if you need any other advices! Take care and God bless!
 
LFB, you have such a nice dinner. i love botak jones fries also. at that time ur collig's daughter's give birth is in how many weeks? now the kid ok?

Audreyaw, don't be depress. Try to spend more time on him. i think what he need most is the concern and attention from the close one. cheers up. dun forget u have another 1 in ur tummy need ur care too.
 
hi audreyaw, oh dear. how painful for a mum to have to go through something like that. i believe at this point only you can help your son to rebuild his confidence. be patient with him and don't give up. start with alphabets and piture cards because i learnt that young kids associate images/things they have seen with words better.

im sure there are books out there that can help him overcome his inertia to learn, and maybe some mummies here have some useful ideas to share with you.

meanwhile, you keep strong and don't be depressed. your son will sense it and feed on your vibes so if you are down, he will mirror you like that.
 
Audrey, totally agreed with LFB!! NEVER GIVE UP!! Never try never know?? At least ur hubby or u did try ur very best to do anything for him. Most impt is u must control ur emotional! bcos ur son need u most now! And ur tummy bb also need u most now! look on the brighter side. it might take time to see the result but it show it is improving. Take care and cheers up.
 
y like more & more things we can't eat! hmm i still eat otah, fish cake & fish ball leh....so i tink should b ok as long as not everyday!
 
dear audrey,

can understand how you feel as I personally taught and coach a P2 student who had been so traumatized by his school teachers in P1 that he was so adversed to school. It was one of the assignments I took on during my uni days. This boy is a talented and clever boy but the mention of teachers, spelling, tests, exams, etc, would make him fall sick with fever or stomach pain immediately, all because of one terrifying teacher who scared him off. It took me one long year to build up his confidence though there were several disappointments where he freaked out on the day of tests. He was so ingrained with what the teacher said of him - a useless student, that he could just go blank even for his best subject.

Be strong for your boy, your baby and yourself and believe in your son that he will make it through. The journey may not be easy and will be a long one but count the little successes he makes each day as encouragement to him and to yourself. Have a physical report card to show him that he is progressing. Kids tend to be more visual and they will be encouraged when they really see the results themselves. You have our support from all the mummies here in the forum so don't give up and stay strong.
 
DEL MONTE BANANAS
omg, i just had 1 before i come into this thread. they cause FITS in babies??? i only know they are considered "liang" and causes phglem when coughing, never knew they wld cause fits. they r the ONLY type of bananas that i eat and ive eaten lots since pregnancy. apparently u cannot fit these to kids either, will cause stomach "zhang feng". but my girl loves them ley, and she has no problem after consumption so ive been giving her since she turned 1. if i ask my gynae, she'll prolly give me the same answer again "WHY CANNOT EAT DEL MONTE BANANAS?" like im some gong-kia...

audrey,
sorry to hear abt what u and ur boy are going through. may i ask how old is he now? being parents, we love our kids to bits and worry incessantly when there may be a problem, even if its just a sniff or a cough. so i can understand what u r going through. i hope u keep the faith and dont give up. seek opinions and find out about your options before deciding on what u think is best for your child. our kids need us, our support, encouragement and love, so we need to be strong and be there for him. young kids respond v readily to our love and affection, so if u sense that he's unhappy do spend more time with him doing the things he likes and rope in the father and grandparents if ure limited by your current pregnancy status. take care and believe in your child!
 
Shelisa,
yep, dinner was super duper delicious! So for today, I will be nice and eat light! I always like that, control, let go, control, let go! Ha ha ha!

Jam75, I don't really know abt otah and fishball. I take also. Think moderate should be ok.
 
good morning ladies,

dear audrey,
please hang on and do not give up on your boy.. you may like to seek a second opinion other than just KKH.. my ex boss had her P1 boy diagnosed with attentive deficient sympdron (dunno spelling) and she quit her job to care for him.. both mummy and boy are progressing well..
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ladies,
I have a set of the Wong BB books. I dun mind circulating around for our reading.. actually hor, the books are very thin, can finish in one night.. not worth buying lah.. I will bring along during the JP outing..
 
Oh ya, forgot to answer your qn re my collig's daughter. Think she was 37-38 weeks. Scary.... Today a collig wasked my bb got kick, I said yes. Then she said better not kick too much, but I told her, I rather bb kick then not man! Wa lau, can kick until I give birth also don't mind man!
 
LFB, tink as long as we dun over eat should b ok de! i oso tink beter to hv bb kick at least we know bb is ok rather then stop kicking then we will b scared lo...my fren oso told mi 1 of her fren suddenly feel no bb kicking she panic & go down gynae to chk...heng she go down & indeed the umblical cord estranged...lucky bb can b save in time....so we muz b v careful to monitor our bb movement lo!
 
chk wif u'll any1 start to increase their appetite?? aiyo since last wk my appetite start to increase again leh...i will hv my b'fast at home ard 7am & now my stomach crying f food again...later late afternoon will same pattern come again....last time i onli hv 3 normal meal now even aft dinner ard 9+ or 10pm stomach oso crying f food....aiyo like dat how to ctrl to juz gain 15kg throughout pregnancy!

wonder any1 hv experience the same as mi ma!
 
LFB,
Heng i dont really fancy Botak Jones
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...U better rest rest rest whenever u can.

Audreyaw,
Come here n chat with us. We are all mummies n MTB so we can understand wat u r going.HU XIIIII k.
 
LFB, good girl wor. control & let go tatic.

chidori, JP outing im not attending due to too too far and working also. so sad.
 
Shelisa, join the JP one lah! also very far for me cos i stay punggol and coming from work at tanjong pagar. but it's a friday night so will be fun to hang out with the MTBs! where you stay? maybe we can go back together...
 
caramelle, wow u stay at punggol come down all the way to JP is realli far f u lo...but u dun sleep dat early wan rite??
 
I always thought the teachers really meant it to help him but guess I was too naive to believe in them.

Will definitely keep on trying and not giving up on him. But sometimes when emotion gets bottomed up for too long, I will just break down.
He's 9 this year. Only realise his problem during mid of primary 1, thought he's having interaction disability and mild autism (that was what the teachers told me) till I get him re-accessed again and found out that was not the case.

Never thought of making a progress card for him to show his improvement, will do that to encourage him. The psychologist also suggested to use flash card to teach him, maximum of 3 words each time and must make him recognise it whenever he sees it before I can move on to another sets of words.

Jam75, I been behaving that way since I am pregnant. But the 1st 3mths was insane, eat 2 portions every meal. Now I eat cereal at 7.15am, 3 slices of breads around 10am, lunch at 1pm, snack again at 3pm if I went out to buy, 6.30 dinner and light meal at 8pm. If I don't, my stomach will keep crying. Lucky this month I only gain 2kgs, slow down quite bit.

bbjun, didn't really like huggies. My son and daughter cried almost immediately when I put it on for them, guess it too warm?

Taken 2 days mc, don't wish to go for work. Haha.. Need some time to adjust my depressed, will be alright again as usual.
 
caramelle, i would like to join too. But im rushing preject recently as project ending soon. My work place at tai seng Ave, construction site. im still not sure will work till what time. sometime can work till 9-10pm. sob sob. im staying near serangoon MRT station
 
Wanna share something so sweet. Ytd on the way back hm, the bus was quite packed, a auntie sitting in the priority seat IMM stand up and offer me the seat. I keep 'thank you' 'thank you'. even alighting i still go tell the auntie 'thank you'

today morning on the way to work, a young lady ard 20++ offer me a seat after i stand for a bus stop distance. i also keep 'thank you' 'thank you'.

Agreed with Cassey, we shld prepare those small gift like chocolate or sweet to offer those who offer us the seat. Show them how deeply aprreciated we are to have the seat. And i always hope they can find a seat soon.
 
hehe jam75, think hubby will fetch ba cos he's working also near boon lay that side. think he'll be more than happy if on friday he can work late because everyday i ask him come home early.

hopefully the gathering wont go on until 10plus! im sure all mummies will be tired around 9pm so should be just nice for me.
 
audreyaw, it great to hear that you are positive on it. It must be hard on you, you have to manage 2 childrens and number 3 is coming soon. When u are feeling down. do rem to come in this thread to pour out whatever u feel like to. Take Care. Hugz Hugz
 
Shelisa, if you can get off early for one day it'd be nice then we can all meet together. if s'goon mrt don't worry, you have a friend in me cos im going back to punggol. im not sure if hubby will fetch or not, but if he does then he can send you home too. else we take NEL together lor..try try okay?
 
audreyaw, hang in there. wah envy you got number 3 already on the way. take it easy and keep us posted on your son's progress dear..
 
eh have you all ever wondered who's the youngest mummy here? hehe
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im asking cos im planning to have 4 kids and wondering if im too old and should start to review my plan?
 
shelisa, so nice still got ppl offer u a seat huh...hmm tink if taking bus mayb chances of ppl offering seat higher?? last wk i took mrt lo got 1 student sitting at priority seat hor saw mi then look at mi f a while then the head bend down liow....throughout the whole journey from raffles to cck NO BODY offer any seat to mi lo!!

caramelle, oic since yr hb working near there so aft work can drive u back so still not so bad...er i tink by 9pm should end gathering le ba...cos now i oso sleep quite early...ard 10 will b sleepy le..hahaha
 
caramelle, when u ask dis que my 1st tot is u r the youngest mommy here...i cfm not the youngest wan cos i already over 30 le not sure the oldest ma?? hahaha!
 
caramelle, okie, i will try de..
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jam75, not every SUNDAY!! this is the 3rd time ppl offer me the seat only. I think most lucky is Cassey, she often have ppl offer seat to her.

IM 25yrs old this yr!
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shelisa, at least is yr 3rd time lo...mi is v miserable 0 time leh! u so young huh..so dat is the diff between 20+ & 30+ lo...when i m still 20+ will tell ppl actual age...now juz say 30+ hahaha! actuali base on my nick u should know how old am i le...mi 34 dis year....realli old liow! sigh!
 
caramelle, how old are you now?

Shelisa, you are so young lo. >.<

jam75, is ok. No1 offer seat to me too.

I'm coming to 30 this year. So old liao..
 
jam75 adn shelisa..see already im not the youngest. im 27 this year. wish i got married earlier..hehe
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btw, both you mummies delivering at Mt A. im looking to change my gynae. want to ask if the Mt A pkg very expensive or not? im looking at natural and if emergency c-sect. how much you prepare in cash for deposit? cos my neighbour gave birth in jan, hers was natural with epi at KKH single bedder and she paid $5000, of which abt $2000+ as medisave. the rest she pay cash. expensive ah?
 
audreyaw, you delivering at TMC with Woo Bit Hwa. female gynae right? i thought she only deliver at raffles cos she got clinic at sengkang compass point?
 
audrey, u where got old...u onli coming 30 dis year but u already hv 9 yrs old son le....dis is my 1st bb leh....u mentioned u hv a gal too rite?? how old is she then??
 
caramelle, male gynae. Choose him partly is because near my house and also when he draw blood, my arm won't get blue-black and pain. Cause my veins too small so majority of the time i get blue-black.

still can go for 4 kids, 1 for each year lo. ^^
 
jam75, she's 6 this year. She has started to prepare her toys to give it to her little brother. But she's funny too, ask me can I change didi baby to meimei baby or not. -.-

Suppose to have a piggy baby but miscarriage at 4th mth.

Actually this is my 2nd marriage, the 1st one is nightmare. He had affairs, hit me and demand $ from me too. Wanted to concentrate only with these 2 kids but I don't want to be unfair to my hubby. He is the only child in the family and he likes kids a lot.
 
Audreyaw,
*BIG HUG* I hope u feel better with sharing with us here, it is very difficult to carry a burden on your own, and in your position now, you need all the encouragement you can get. I think chidori got it right, I also suspect it is an attention deficit disorder. I know someone whose kid is like that. About same age as your boy as well. He had problems in school because he was slow to learn, and as a result, teachers criticise him, and other kids don't want to be his friend. After a lot of difficulty determining what exactly is wrong with him (check for autism, etc etc), they found out that it was this attention deficit thing. Something in his brain is simply lacking the ability to concentrate and to connect certain things, so it slows down his ability to learn (but he's not stupid, not dyslexic). And this led to his self-esteem taking a nose dive, and eventually he was on the verge of giving up on himself.

Kids like these need a lot of guidance and encouragement. The boy I mentioned, the mother quit her job to stay home full time to coach and nurture him, and he's now better. One thing to try is to get him engaged in an activity that he can excel in, be it physical activities or some other activity that does not involve school-type learning (e.g. art, chess, taekwondo). Once he is able to master something, and even excel in it, it will greatly boost his self-esteem and he may soon realise that he can also do the same for school work. I'm no child psychologist or whatever, but I have seen that this works, and it's worth a try.

Remember that normal school teachers here are not trained in educating children that has different needs. Many of them are barely out of school themselves, and/or have no children to have any personal experience with. So I wouldn't hang too much hopes on your boy's teachers if I were u. It's not their fault, they're just not trained. The boy I mentioned, he's still attending regular school, but a lot of the work comes from his mother at home.

You too need to take care of yourself, and take a bit of breather time here and there. You can keep coming here to pour out your difficulties ok? We're all here to support you!
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Maybe Cassey here who deals with kids everyday would have some valuable input
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TubbyMummy, thanks. I do feel better after pouring it out. Didn't want to talk it with my family as I do not want to stress them further. So usually I just kept to myself whenever I received nasty/unpleasant comments.

Ya, he's slow in learning too. Not stupid as well so I kept on thinking what's the problem.

Intend to quit my job too but from what a couple of psychologists assess him felt that he need to be pull out from main stream school first, he is too stressed to continue there. They told me let him get back his confidence first and only then put him back to main stream.

Didn't really blame the teachers but was disappointed to hear such negative comments from them. I am not sure if they did the same to him in school but hope they don't. Was young that time so many things I don't understand or realise. I just believe what they said.
 
jam75, dun like that say leh. not old la.
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is it ur tummy not obvious enough?

audreyaw, actually my frenz ard me younger then me already 1-2 kid mother liao. you are a young mommy too for ur 1st kid. (Lucky u left that bad man and got ur new life again)
 
morning all!!

wah why do i see yami yoghurt again?? why causeway point dun haf???
sian leh, every time i wan to go out, it will rain....somemore now its raining quite heavily...
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wow sweethalo, your hb so sweet, bot back 2 tubs of yogurt!!

Audreyaw, dun be depressed. things will be better, ok? take care
wow, cool, you coming to 30yrs old this yr but u already haf 2 kids and 1 in your tummy!!
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glad you left ur 1st hubby. any decent guy should never never never hit woman and haf affairs!!

wah me 29yrs++. haha...bday not over yet, so still 29+++.
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audreyaw, would it help if u met up with the sch's principal to give details of what is happening with your boy, and ask for cooperation from the teachers that in the meantime while the problem is being tackled, can they please go easy on him, and be patient with him?

Taking him out for a year so that he can be nurtured before putting him back into mainstream school may be a good idea, so that he can have time to catch up at his own pace, cos I'm sure he's fallen behind by quite a fair bit now. But u need to consider this carefully also, cos he's old enough to know what's happening, and if he knows that he's being taken out of regular school, it might be a blow to his self esteem. Also when he rejoins a year later, everyone will be younger than him by 1 year, and that may make him feel inadequate. Unless u manage to coach him till he can join back his own peers when he returns to school.
 
Audreyaw, I think it will be better not to compare him with other kids but to himself. Let him notice that he is progressing.

It is fine for kids to have a slow start but don't give up. My brother use to have a slow start and is weak in languages. But he has no problem in a design field now.
 
ahnetsan, like that also can meh? ok.. i shld say im 24yrs old and give birth to my first baby. im due on june and birthday on july. thus 24yrs mommy.
 

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