mummybean,
ya gotta be firm and not lose your temper/become impatient. now is the time they are seriously testing our limits, and they want any kind of reaction out of us, whether it's good or bad. the main thing is: if they do things to annoy you, don't raise your voice, don't show them you are angry, just look at them straight in the eye with a serious face, and say in a very low pitch severe voice not to do it again. gotta make that eye contact, and keep at the staring especially if they laugh and try to manja.
i tell u what really works for my kiddo ( and i read somewhere that it works for all todds too with a lot of consistency) is positive attention - like don't just give him the attention when they do something bad, give them the attention when they do something good too, eg if he one day lets u take him out of his bath without making any fuss, really praise him for behaving himself. and keep praising for any kind of good behaviour so that he gets the idea that if he behaves in a certain (ie good) way, he will get kisses/cuddles fr u and daddy
and at this age, not really a good idea to let them self feed if you are not prepared to deal with the mess lah.
i think patience is one thing, but consistence is another, esp when it comes to discipline
just keep the mantra that you are the one in charge, not him. u have to scold/slap wrist also so that they get the idea, even if it makes them cry. and i tell u, they will keep repeating over and over and over until u are damn sian, but it's all a normal part of growing up loh ;p
hang in there!
