well... wat can i say? when there r aggressive moms, there are sure to be passive moms too. my mil everything also very ching chai one... my mom is the fussy one. tat's why my hb has to live up to her stds... gd thing i dun stay wif my mil, ELSE i'll b the aggressive one... ahahaha
(2009/01) January 2009 MTBs
- Thread starter novakido
- Start date
miaiko: i should be sourcing at those cheaper maid agencies...i wont go for nation all that...their agency fees are very ex lor...
i doing some basic accounts for a contractor at home. its paying me quite well, i have bonus, birthday ang bao, my internet also paid by part time boss.
i doing some basic accounts for a contractor at home. its paying me quite well, i have bonus, birthday ang bao, my internet also paid by part time boss.
terrible terrible...so many had bad experience with MIL...i wonder sometimes if next time i become a MIL, what will i be like?? haiz..sometimes our hubby also in difficult position isnt it.
after talking with my MIL about the comparing part, in fact, our relationship improved...she said i misunderstood her, she is not comparing, and she cried when talking to me. so i guess, its me myself who is thinking too much or being too sensitive. having 2 pregnant ladies in a same household sure have conflicts, so i tried not to bother or talk too much with my SIL...so i am better already.
after talking with my MIL about the comparing part, in fact, our relationship improved...she said i misunderstood her, she is not comparing, and she cried when talking to me. so i guess, its me myself who is thinking too much or being too sensitive. having 2 pregnant ladies in a same household sure have conflicts, so i tried not to bother or talk too much with my SIL...so i am better already.
babystarlet
Member
cjteng > ya,my mum wans attention,jus like a big baby.
mercsboy > dunno why,jus worried nt enough,probably got to buy some more pants.
mercsboy > dunno why,jus worried nt enough,probably got to buy some more pants.
mercs: wah, u living wif so many pp.. extended family i like.. communication always helps... i'm sleepy too but more like a result of the big bowl of laksa i took for lunch... hee hee...
being pregnant sure puts one in a easily irritated mode... but i'm trying my best to cool it n force meeself to b super happy, tat'll b like happier than my usual sunny self...
being pregnant sure puts one in a easily irritated mode... but i'm trying my best to cool it n force meeself to b super happy, tat'll b like happier than my usual sunny self...
mercsboy: gd tat u cleared the misunderstanding wif ur mil. and yah.. hubby will be in difficult position lor.
ju: haha.. u so funi. just ignore. i cant leh. whenever my bb kicks me so hard or i feel she is making a fuss with alot of movements, I will talk to her. Ask her why, what happen, what does she want.. etc. so spoilt hor?? hehe
ju: haha.. u so funi. just ignore. i cant leh. whenever my bb kicks me so hard or i feel she is making a fuss with alot of movements, I will talk to her. Ask her why, what happen, what does she want.. etc. so spoilt hor?? hehe
Tell u all something funy..
recently, my bb gal plays with my belly-button! she was not punching or kicking as usual. But I feel a slight 'pop pop' on my belly and I lift up my shirt to check. Then saw her pushing gently on my belly button from inside! haha.. show my hubby and we both laughing away. Does she think that's an exit button?
recently, my bb gal plays with my belly-button! she was not punching or kicking as usual. But I feel a slight 'pop pop' on my belly and I lift up my shirt to check. Then saw her pushing gently on my belly button from inside! haha.. show my hubby and we both laughing away. Does she think that's an exit button?
miaiko: i work this part time for very long already. my part time boss quite nice to me...my house painting also done by his worker with no charge, me just buy the paints only.
miaiko: i probably be going to see the agency my friend using CRISLO at chong pang or BUDGET maid at woodlands...coz both my friends maids from there, seems ok. and the agency fee is cheaper at $188 only. nation is $688
babystarlet: i dont mind buying more also...but i think top should have more, coz wait they burp milk, stained the top then got to change more often coz not so good to let them wear wet clothes isnt it. i have to find one day and count hw many pieces i have or else i go buy. i dont want to ex one la...$1.70 per pc should be ok.
ju: no i not staying with my MIL...but coz her daughter i.e. my SIL is pregnant also...so i guess sure will compare abit la...i was not happy and i told her straight lor. previously some misunderstanding.
miaiko: i probably be going to see the agency my friend using CRISLO at chong pang or BUDGET maid at woodlands...coz both my friends maids from there, seems ok. and the agency fee is cheaper at $188 only. nation is $688
babystarlet: i dont mind buying more also...but i think top should have more, coz wait they burp milk, stained the top then got to change more often coz not so good to let them wear wet clothes isnt it. i have to find one day and count hw many pieces i have or else i go buy. i dont want to ex one la...$1.70 per pc should be ok.
ju: no i not staying with my MIL...but coz her daughter i.e. my SIL is pregnant also...so i guess sure will compare abit la...i was not happy and i told her straight lor. previously some misunderstanding.
suika : i dun think my MIL bribe her, she's not the KPO type. i only fear the maid may add spices to what she sees & hears... esp some arguements that me & hb had lor...
Giggler & EmQ : thanks for sharing ur experiences. Ask u all hor, my whole family treats the maid very well - except me. But i dun ill treat her, juz that i m not that friendly, i only talk to her when neccessary, & i do not chit chat with her. In fact, i dun like to talk to her, whenever possible, i ask hb to convey messages to her.
Last Sat, when i realised a wet plate was kept in the cupboard, i questioned her, why she keep it in when it's so wet (water still dripping)? Then i went to the sink to rinse that plate, upon rinsing, i felt sth rough - which means it's not properly washed in the 1st place. I told her off lor, but she never answer, she juz walked over & see, then continued to do what she was doing. Later that day, i complained to my hb - told him when everyone's at hm, she respect me, but when i m alone with her, she refused to answer me. Hb say how u treat pple, pple treat u back. So, am i at fault?
My maid oso told my MIL to ask me to let her tie my girl's hair on Sundays. Then, my MIL, my hb & my daughter told me the same - say ask her to do. I refused to let her do it (tho my MIL say she tie hair very nice) - cos i feel she shld put in more effort in her job (cleanliness & hygiene), & shldn't come & KPO at my job (being a mother).... m i being petty & unreasonable?
Giggler & EmQ : thanks for sharing ur experiences. Ask u all hor, my whole family treats the maid very well - except me. But i dun ill treat her, juz that i m not that friendly, i only talk to her when neccessary, & i do not chit chat with her. In fact, i dun like to talk to her, whenever possible, i ask hb to convey messages to her.
Last Sat, when i realised a wet plate was kept in the cupboard, i questioned her, why she keep it in when it's so wet (water still dripping)? Then i went to the sink to rinse that plate, upon rinsing, i felt sth rough - which means it's not properly washed in the 1st place. I told her off lor, but she never answer, she juz walked over & see, then continued to do what she was doing. Later that day, i complained to my hb - told him when everyone's at hm, she respect me, but when i m alone with her, she refused to answer me. Hb say how u treat pple, pple treat u back. So, am i at fault?
My maid oso told my MIL to ask me to let her tie my girl's hair on Sundays. Then, my MIL, my hb & my daughter told me the same - say ask her to do. I refused to let her do it (tho my MIL say she tie hair very nice) - cos i feel she shld put in more effort in her job (cleanliness & hygiene), & shldn't come & KPO at my job (being a mother).... m i being petty & unreasonable?
miaiko: think it's my bro's teachings... when i was young, my bro always say "mind over body, u dun feel the itch, it's all in ur mind". It's not tat healthy too leh, i wan to learn to communicate better, so must learn fr hb, he's gd at it. spoilt her? no lah, think she'll get used to ur voice more easily than mine... but i do try singing to her... tat is, if i rem... hahaha..
miaiko/ange: belly button as exit button.. haha.. if that's the case, the next ur gal knows, she'll b out in the open liao.. i hvn't feel any belly button action but sure look fwd to the "waves" 1st since i'm now only 27th wk.
gelato: sometimes some pp jus dun like some pp. if u wanna do up ur gal, then do it lor... but if family say "maid do nicer", take it wif a pinch of salt, at least u do try ur best n u feel tat u r responsible... if u still dun feel gd abt it, then place more emphasis on bonding wif ur children.. but the plate thing is abit too much, i agree. if she dun make the same mistake again, then ok lor. there r some responsible pp who can sure irritate but still do their job when corrected, hope ur maid is this kind.
gelato: sometimes some pp jus dun like some pp. if u wanna do up ur gal, then do it lor... but if family say "maid do nicer", take it wif a pinch of salt, at least u do try ur best n u feel tat u r responsible... if u still dun feel gd abt it, then place more emphasis on bonding wif ur children.. but the plate thing is abit too much, i agree. if she dun make the same mistake again, then ok lor. there r some responsible pp who can sure irritate but still do their job when corrected, hope ur maid is this kind.
NI, you're rite... You can 'teach' the maid the way you like if no grandparents are involved.
Sperzz, your son same age as my #1 (she May 2004), your son sure look cheeky. He so guai, my gal seldom mentioned abt the bb in my tummy. Reminded me tat I haven take any pic of my tummy.
Merc, most of the times it's just misunderstanding with mil lah. I used to be the middleman bet my mom and sil. But now their rel'p improved a lot liao.
Gelato, think you shd remind your maid that you're her boss leh. Actually I dun chit chat with my maid also cos I find it very tiring talking to her. Usu it's my mom or hb or hb's sis who really 'fren' with her lah. But she still respect me as her boss. She wont dare not to answer me leh. Very sian when pple tell you what to do hor? I usu brush them aside and continue to do what I want with my kids lah. But of cos feel buay song lah. Hahaha... Think we women are petty and unreasonable????
Sperzz, your son same age as my #1 (she May 2004), your son sure look cheeky. He so guai, my gal seldom mentioned abt the bb in my tummy. Reminded me tat I haven take any pic of my tummy.
Merc, most of the times it's just misunderstanding with mil lah. I used to be the middleman bet my mom and sil. But now their rel'p improved a lot liao.
Gelato, think you shd remind your maid that you're her boss leh. Actually I dun chit chat with my maid also cos I find it very tiring talking to her. Usu it's my mom or hb or hb's sis who really 'fren' with her lah. But she still respect me as her boss. She wont dare not to answer me leh. Very sian when pple tell you what to do hor? I usu brush them aside and continue to do what I want with my kids lah. But of cos feel buay song lah. Hahaha... Think we women are petty and unreasonable????
gelato: erm...from reading your post la, i think u are still very sensitive and dont used to having a maid at home. how about letting down some of your guard? at least your MIL is at home together with your maid..basically she is there to assist in your MIL...dont think too much alrite. your position in the family wont be shaken. nobody can take over your position as mummy.
ju : Thanks, hopefully it turns out that way.
Giggler : Ya lor, me feeling buay song, more bcos whenever i grumble abt sth, my hb seems to think it's my fault... so the maid's like the angel, & me like the devil... that's why i need honest opinions if i m really BAD lor...
merscboy : yes, I've been reminded by a few frens that i'll always be the mummy, & the maid will at most be a fren to the kids. Thanks. My concern now is, she seems to lose respect to me - now that she has gained favour fm other family members... but then again, i may be sensitive... thanks for reminding...
Giggler : Ya lor, me feeling buay song, more bcos whenever i grumble abt sth, my hb seems to think it's my fault... so the maid's like the angel, & me like the devil... that's why i need honest opinions if i m really BAD lor...
merscboy : yes, I've been reminded by a few frens that i'll always be the mummy, & the maid will at most be a fren to the kids. Thanks. My concern now is, she seems to lose respect to me - now that she has gained favour fm other family members... but then again, i may be sensitive... thanks for reminding...
gelato, it's becuz you are the ones checking on the maids work mah, so end up we got more to complain about... your hb doesn't check and won't really know lor...
me was angry at my hb also, cos i told my pt maid to come over every week starting jan... now is every other week mah... then you know what my hb says? ask her to do full cleaning every other week, then the next week just clean the common areas enuf... piangz... then bedroom no need every week clean... siao guys... can't understand what they thinking...
me was angry at my hb also, cos i told my pt maid to come over every week starting jan... now is every other week mah... then you know what my hb says? ask her to do full cleaning every other week, then the next week just clean the common areas enuf... piangz... then bedroom no need every week clean... siao guys... can't understand what they thinking...
sperzz: wat a cute n sweet photo!! ur tummy really very nice and round worh.. mine still small compared to urs although it has grown quite a bit recently..
gelato: hmm.. maybe u can try communicate and set down some ground rules for ur maid? Sounds to me like ure still not v comfortable with the maid and maybe need to work out the roles with her..
I bought a capella stroller for $159. Usual price about $200. Its quite a basic stroller.. we bought it because of the compatible car seat which can be mounted on the stroller, so we can transfer the bb if he is sleeping from stroller to car without waking bb up. Another plus point is that is it only 5.3 kg, light weight for me to handle easily.. it can hold from Newborn to 2 years.. we thought we may get another one when bb grows bigger so no need to buy too expensive one for now..
suika: yah I slept close to 2 am too.. cos bb at night very active.. kick here n there, very hard to find comfortable place to sleep.. oh dear ur heartburn is back ah?
miaiko: glad to see u back here and home now =) have a good MC today and rem to put the neck rub!
miaiko/ange: Im also thinking of quitting my job to be SAHM cos I would like to take care of bb myself.. but my MIL keeps saying its difficult etc .. she wants to help me take care of bb too.. I believe she means well for me but Im afraid of clashes lor.. guess this time I must be firmer about taking care of bb myself.
gelato: hmm.. maybe u can try communicate and set down some ground rules for ur maid? Sounds to me like ure still not v comfortable with the maid and maybe need to work out the roles with her..
I bought a capella stroller for $159. Usual price about $200. Its quite a basic stroller.. we bought it because of the compatible car seat which can be mounted on the stroller, so we can transfer the bb if he is sleeping from stroller to car without waking bb up. Another plus point is that is it only 5.3 kg, light weight for me to handle easily.. it can hold from Newborn to 2 years.. we thought we may get another one when bb grows bigger so no need to buy too expensive one for now..
suika: yah I slept close to 2 am too.. cos bb at night very active.. kick here n there, very hard to find comfortable place to sleep.. oh dear ur heartburn is back ah?
miaiko: glad to see u back here and home now =) have a good MC today and rem to put the neck rub!
miaiko/ange: Im also thinking of quitting my job to be SAHM cos I would like to take care of bb myself.. but my MIL keeps saying its difficult etc .. she wants to help me take care of bb too.. I believe she means well for me but Im afraid of clashes lor.. guess this time I must be firmer about taking care of bb myself.
ange: so nice <envious>... i still feel jus more plump than usual. now i only need to take 1 straight bus to wk, so take from interchange to interchange, so haven't test out whether i look pregnant to others... my hb do assure me tat i look preg but looking at the mirror when i'm wearing loose clothings dun assure me leh... sigh... if i wear tights, my mom will scold me for showing off, <shrug> dunno where she got tat idea. oh, i think my mom very unique (a nicer way to put it), she thinks preg women in swimming pool is contaminating... sigh... wat to do wif such a mom... bo pian.. my mom leh. sigh...
priviledged
Active Member
Sperzz,
My tummy about the same as yours. Maybe even bigger! Hangs down a little at the bottom due to fats! I'm only 25 wks.
sus,
The older generation are somehow against our giving up our careers and becoming SAHMs. But if you're really sure about it, then there's nothing to stop you mah. It's worse if you're highly educated or hold a well-paying job. But in the end, they will see the benefits, so go for it!!!
My tummy about the same as yours. Maybe even bigger! Hangs down a little at the bottom due to fats! I'm only 25 wks.
sus,
The older generation are somehow against our giving up our careers and becoming SAHMs. But if you're really sure about it, then there's nothing to stop you mah. It's worse if you're highly educated or hold a well-paying job. But in the end, they will see the benefits, so go for it!!!
dazed: aiyah.. dun bother... she jus making her own opinions known... i've never read anything to say swimming in public pool got any contamination one. even when we hv menses also can go swim wah provided we put tampons lah. that's why i say my mom's views very special one... peng sang
ju: haha how to we contaminate the pool? =p U mean ugly sight? Just went swmiming on Sat.. so shiok!
Gelato: I dun think ure unreasonable at all.. my mum also faced similar issues.. the maid gave her high blood pressure cos she was the one with the maid most of the time and saw wat the maid did, but in front of other pple maid was different. Maids-mum relationships are also tough tts y u get so many in the news... so dun feel like ure alone..
Gelato: I dun think ure unreasonable at all.. my mum also faced similar issues.. the maid gave her high blood pressure cos she was the one with the maid most of the time and saw wat the maid did, but in front of other pple maid was different. Maids-mum relationships are also tough tts y u get so many in the news... so dun feel like ure alone..
sometimes must learn to here listen, there come out, then everything will b smooth, no quarrels, no unnecessary noise.. peace and quiet...
i agree wif priviledged tat older generation quite against highly edu to stay home, cos they feel we can contribute to the family more by wking. but it's still our choice to make, provided hb is agreeable lah.
i agree wif priviledged tat older generation quite against highly edu to stay home, cos they feel we can contribute to the family more by wking. but it's still our choice to make, provided hb is agreeable lah.
Gelato, hahaha... I fully understand how you feel. I got the same response from my hb whenever I complained abt maid too. So now I dun complain to hb, I talked to my mom cos being women, she understands better. Hehehe... I also feel that your maid losing respect to you, got to remind her that you're HER boss, not your mil or your kids or your hb.
Dazed, think men also more forgiving? My hb can come and tell me that he feels that the cup not wash thoroughly by the maid. But he can wait till he got stomachache to tell the maid off. For me, I def tell the maid off immed, wont wait for things to happen.
Dazed, think men also more forgiving? My hb can come and tell me that he feels that the cup not wash thoroughly by the maid. But he can wait till he got stomachache to tell the maid off. For me, I def tell the maid off immed, wont wait for things to happen.
ninilicious
Active Member
ju: ur mum reallie unique. first time hearing preggie woman can contaminate pools. haha. in fact, my gynae encourages swimming alot.
mercs: i also dun believe in going to more expensive maid agency. i think we are merely paying for their advertisement and endorsement fees. but when i choose maid agency, must make sure they are Case-Trust. Anyway, i called Crislo and Budget leh. hopefully they can get me a Indon Christian maid. heee.
mercs: i also dun believe in going to more expensive maid agency. i think we are merely paying for their advertisement and endorsement fees. but when i choose maid agency, must make sure they are Case-Trust. Anyway, i called Crislo and Budget leh. hopefully they can get me a Indon Christian maid. heee.
ladies...just finished my late lunch so pop in to look around...
maid...might not have to get one cos my mum said she can help to take care of bb for mi but a few points to consider, she stayed far away from mi so ferrying bb daily to & fro is not viable (my workplace nearer to my hse - abt 20mins away) but yet I dun wish to be weekend mum caring for bb only over the weekend...quite in a fix now as well....mum cant possibly stay over my place over weekday too....
speaking of tummy size...my mum was complaining that my tummy is so small at 6 mths...raised her concerns over if im eating well, if gynae said bb is growing well etc. i was luffing wif hubby when mrs wong brought this up yest and it's exactly what my mum said....
maid...might not have to get one cos my mum said she can help to take care of bb for mi but a few points to consider, she stayed far away from mi so ferrying bb daily to & fro is not viable (my workplace nearer to my hse - abt 20mins away) but yet I dun wish to be weekend mum caring for bb only over the weekend...quite in a fix now as well....mum cant possibly stay over my place over weekday too....
speaking of tummy size...my mum was complaining that my tummy is so small at 6 mths...raised her concerns over if im eating well, if gynae said bb is growing well etc. i was luffing wif hubby when mrs wong brought this up yest and it's exactly what my mum said....
sperzz....sorrie to trouble u but can u post the address in woodlands for the wholesales satay....cant realli find from the archive threads....thanks ya!
ladies, would you prefer the satay from wholesales centre or there's a popular satay stall in clementi central...it could be cheaper to buy from the wholesale centre though....
ladies, would you prefer the satay from wholesales centre or there's a popular satay stall in clementi central...it could be cheaper to buy from the wholesale centre though....
suika
Active Member
piyo: den how? if ur mum's able to look after ur bb den u'll save up alot on that part liao wor n got someone closed looking after it's better mah rather then maid
my tummy oso still small small as compared to the rest....heheee remained same size from that time u gals saw mi...
but lucky bb's putting on weight n woody says he's healthy
my tummy oso still small small as compared to the rest....heheee remained same size from that time u gals saw mi...
but lucky bb's putting on weight n woody says he's healthy
piyo: here u go.
Soon Lee Heng Satay Foofstuff Manufacturer
Blk 15 Woodlands Loop #04-49
Woodlands East Ind. Estate
Singapore 738322
Tel : 67595968
This wholeseller also got pork satay. Mayb we can order chicken n pork. Ladies, if the satay not nice dun blamed me hor.
Soon Lee Heng Satay Foofstuff Manufacturer
Blk 15 Woodlands Loop #04-49
Woodlands East Ind. Estate
Singapore 738322
Tel : 67595968
This wholeseller also got pork satay. Mayb we can order chicken n pork. Ladies, if the satay not nice dun blamed me hor.
cuddlepuff
Active Member
piyobaby, ya my hubby was luffing when mrs wong brought up issue of tummy size.
i faced the same thing as u, alot pple say my tumtum is small.
even it is bigger than before, they still can say like this " yr tummy is bigger, but still too small for 6mths"
i am easy going with satay, u decide which is more convenient for u to get.
i faced the same thing as u, alot pple say my tumtum is small.
even it is bigger than before, they still can say like this " yr tummy is bigger, but still too small for 6mths"
i am easy going with satay, u decide which is more convenient for u to get.
dazed : actually i dun chk the maid at all, it juz happened that i saw it - & it's juz too bad for her. I'm not very particular abt tidiness or general cleanliness, but there're 2 things which i m more fussy abt - toilet & food. Now that i spotted 1 case at my place & 2 cases at MIL's place, i m putting myself on HIGH alert. hehe...
Cleaning the house once a week oso not alot leh... i dunno abt u, i always hv lotsa hair on the floor. Previously when we engage PT maid, we still hv to turn on the irobot to clean the floor a few days a week leh....
sus : Thanks for the info the the stroller. I dun want to spend too much on that as well. But, my boy's pram juz gave way recently, i m thinking if i shld get 1 which both baby & #2 can use. Hvn't do homework, but hb think if it'll be expensive, if such designs exist.
Thanks for ur kind wrds. Your mum facing similar prob? For my case, my MIL spends more time with the maid, but i m the 1 grumbling more, so i wonder if it's my fault lor...
Giggler : hehe... really ah? at least i m not alone... i always complain my hb treat the maid better than he treat me... Ya, thanks, I'll monitor & see. =)
Cleaning the house once a week oso not alot leh... i dunno abt u, i always hv lotsa hair on the floor. Previously when we engage PT maid, we still hv to turn on the irobot to clean the floor a few days a week leh....
sus : Thanks for the info the the stroller. I dun want to spend too much on that as well. But, my boy's pram juz gave way recently, i m thinking if i shld get 1 which both baby & #2 can use. Hvn't do homework, but hb think if it'll be expensive, if such designs exist.
Thanks for ur kind wrds. Your mum facing similar prob? For my case, my MIL spends more time with the maid, but i m the 1 grumbling more, so i wonder if it's my fault lor...
Giggler : hehe... really ah? at least i m not alone... i always complain my hb treat the maid better than he treat me... Ya, thanks, I'll monitor & see. =)
piyobaby: bumped into hubby's ex colleague @ Robinsons on sat. She asked how long more? I said 2.5 months to go. She said: "you're very very small. I was much bigger." *slaps forehead* I get people who comment I'm quite big too. So now i'm like: whatever. As long as baby is growing well.