HI ladies, sorry for interruption, I was browsing and noticed you talking about the 'cry it out' method.
Just thought I would share that the method is NOT about letting your baby 'cry it out'. The true method is not even called 'cry it out'.
The focus of the method is NOT that you should leave your baby to cry and cry and cry. The focus of the method is actually the part where the parent goes in to comfort and pat the child to sleep without picking up and without a feed. When the child cries, it is the signal for you to get ready to go in to comfort and pat him, and yes it is up to you to decide how long you want him to cry for you. But ultimately, you have to go in and comfort him. That is the true focus of the method. Certainly it is NOT to leave your baby crying and crying for half an hour. The aim of the method is to teach your baby that when it is bedtime and he cries, it WILL earn some patting and some comforting and a brief check from you but that's all it will earn. Gradually the child will think it is not worth his effort. The intention is not to achieve this by letting the baby 'cry it out', rather the intention is meant to be achieved by waiting for the baby to cry, then go in to check on him and pat and comfort him without picking up or feeding. It is actually similar to picking up your baby when he cries and putting him down when he calms down but still awake, except that there is no picking up here. Imagine if your baby could speak your language, what would he be saying? Basically, "Mummy, mummy!" at which you would go in and check on him instead of ignoring him, right? Excessive and prolonged crying is UNNECESSARY for the method to work and in fact is DISCOURAGED by the founder of the method, Dr Richard Ferber.
The method has been widely abused and misunderstood. If you are really interested in finding out more, please read the LATEST edition of Dr Ferber's book, where he has actually made some important modifications and clarifications to the original edition. Vomiting is considered RARE. Dr Ferber also says co-sleeping is fine, whatever works. Also, Dr Ferber only proposes that you start using this method when your baby is emotionally ready for it, which he says is sometime between 4 to 6 months.
I myself am not a supporter of this method. The very fact that there is controversy over the method already tells me that there is a risk that I might be hurting my child emotionally and psychologically, and I certainly do not want to take that risk. For those of you who choose this method, well, to each his own. Yes, there probably are babies who are well and fine on this method but my litmus test is this, since my baby is worth my life, am I willing to bet MY LIFE that I am not hurting my child in the long run? My answer is no. Would I be willing to GUARANTEE to anyone else that the method will not harm their baby in the long run? My answer is no. Any other answer would be silly, given the undeniable controversy surrounding this method. Also, like mummies always say, each child is different - so how do I know that my child will be unharmed like some, after all my baby could be different? I have only read a few books and websites, that certainly does not qualify me as any expert and that is certainly nothing compared to all the years of research that specialist doctors and academics have put into showing that this method is harmful. Yes, crying is not harmful but crying for prolonged periods certainly takes a toll emotionally on me, what more for a baby. Remember, Dr Ferber says you can only start using this when your baby is emotionally ready for it - babies are not born emotionally ready, we have to spend time nurturing their sense of security and trust first and that takes time.
Sleeping through the night is the aim. There are many ways to get there. If you want to try this method of Dr Ferber's, that is entirely your prerogative, but I beg you, if you want to do it, do it properly.
Good luck whatever you decide and sweet dreams for everyone.
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