(2008/10) Oct 2008
- Thread starter jappooh
- Start date
icylemon
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">JJmom, i think there is no 秘笈 for being good parents.
honestly i feel that our parents does play a part on the teaching.
like now, i use cane on my R&R. i know is not right. but this is how my parents discipline me & my brother from young. i m not trying to push the blames to my parents.
nowdays, i try not to use canes to R&R. infact i have hide the canes. trying hard to talk to them & make sure they understand.</font>
honestly i feel that our parents does play a part on the teaching.
like now, i use cane on my R&R. i know is not right. but this is how my parents discipline me & my brother from young. i m not trying to push the blames to my parents.
nowdays, i try not to use canes to R&R. infact i have hide the canes. trying hard to talk to them & make sure they understand.</font>
jellypurin
New Member
icylemon/vanilla
lunch on thurs on?
re: canning
i dun cane rebekah but i had recently smacked her on her hands because she kept throwing her toys on the floor everyday and i am v mad about it. after that i felt bad and i did not do it again.
lunch on thurs on?
re: canning
i dun cane rebekah but i had recently smacked her on her hands because she kept throwing her toys on the floor everyday and i am v mad about it. after that i felt bad and i did not do it again.
jellypurin
New Member
jolly
i cant go. i have a meeting that day... sianz...
i cant go. i have a meeting that day... sianz...
icylemon
Active Member
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/11/09/triads-linked-to-downtown-east-murder/
<font color="aa00aa">haiz... traids. the biggest traid in spore is 999!!!</font>
<font color="aa00aa">haiz... traids. the biggest traid in spore is 999!!!</font>
matsu
Active Member
R&Rmom, Jelly,
y not try the time out/notti corner method?
R&Rmom,
i know what u mean, tends to fall back on the old method. but really ask yourself, did u really learn from your parents beating? Or r u like me, usually 不服气,不平?
Even till today, i will tell my mom tat i dont agree with her then method/idea or i hated it then.
Strange thing is my mom dont use cane on my niece whom she is caring for now & even agree on my method...kekeke
y not try the time out/notti corner method?
R&Rmom,
i know what u mean, tends to fall back on the old method. but really ask yourself, did u really learn from your parents beating? Or r u like me, usually 不服气,不平?
Even till today, i will tell my mom tat i dont agree with her then method/idea or i hated it then.
Strange thing is my mom dont use cane on my niece whom she is caring for now & even agree on my method...kekeke
bigflamingo
Member
Jolly,
Cool, see you then
I think our seats are in the middle section, further back rows, the $20 seats.
JJmom,
I also get soft when I see J's tears if I scold him and smack his hands, but what to do...have to stand firm or they won't know what the limits are.
Cool, see you then
JJmom,
I also get soft when I see J's tears if I scold him and smack his hands, but what to do...have to stand firm or they won't know what the limits are.
jellypurin
New Member
jjmom
oh, v hard to enforce on rebekah... haha... we dun hv a good place to do time out.
oh, v hard to enforce on rebekah... haha... we dun hv a good place to do time out.
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi mint - haha my demands are:
1) no or low salt
2) no too sweet stuff
3) if poo, pls wash (forgot to mention must use soaP). v impt to keep his pee pee area clean cos of his kidney problems.
i told her E's health conditions so she understands. i told her he is abit slow cos his surgery took 2-3 mths development from norm and she said not true cos children this age has a 6 mths diff in gap..but as they grow older this gap will shorten...
hi jjmom - i think it is the character of the child. like what saxo pointed out...i think she knows it is time to sleep not play ..but she herself is torn bwt what is expected of her and what she really wants
1) no or low salt
2) no too sweet stuff
3) if poo, pls wash (forgot to mention must use soaP). v impt to keep his pee pee area clean cos of his kidney problems.
i told her E's health conditions so she understands. i told her he is abit slow cos his surgery took 2-3 mths development from norm and she said not true cos children this age has a 6 mths diff in gap..but as they grow older this gap will shorten...
hi jjmom - i think it is the character of the child. like what saxo pointed out...i think she knows it is time to sleep not play ..but she herself is torn bwt what is expected of her and what she really wants
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi jelly - did u use threats? like if u still throw ur toys i will throw them away?
i did it once.. i took E's toys and pretend to throw into the rubbish bin. he made noise - like nono...
then i took them put on the floor tell him again to keep them.
i did it once.. i took E's toys and pretend to throw into the rubbish bin. he made noise - like nono...
then i took them put on the floor tell him again to keep them.
icylemon
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">JJmom,
notti corner does not help for my girls. i tried many times le.
haiz...
sometimes when i hit my girls, my dad will scold me. i will shoot him back. if you ask me not to hit my girls, why you did tat to us last time? he will LL. so nowdays he will dare not speak out a word, he will juz shake his head.</font>
notti corner does not help for my girls. i tried many times le.
haiz...
sometimes when i hit my girls, my dad will scold me. i will shoot him back. if you ask me not to hit my girls, why you did tat to us last time? he will LL. so nowdays he will dare not speak out a word, he will juz shake his head.</font>
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi R&R mum - hahaha...
jellypurin
New Member
vanilla
no, treats dun work i have a brat in the making but well, i will just hv to make disciplining as positive as possible and with much grace and patience, i hope.
no, treats dun work i have a brat in the making but well, i will just hv to make disciplining as positive as possible and with much grace and patience, i hope.
jellypurin
New Member
icylemon
i cannot...
i cannot...
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
lets find a day Jelly can....
hi jelly - i dun think Reb is a brat lah.. she is just more vocal w her feelings.
i am trying to be patient too.. but w my short fuse...pretty diff. most of time i scold scold scold E he keep quiet shifty eyed and signed sorry... but i still go on .. then i feel bad...
hi jelly - i dun think Reb is a brat lah.. she is just more vocal w her feelings.
i am trying to be patient too.. but w my short fuse...pretty diff. most of time i scold scold scold E he keep quiet shifty eyed and signed sorry... but i still go on .. then i feel bad...
daisybuttons
New Member
helo mommies! at home with jaz coz her gorgor either pass the germs to her or she got a chill at friday pool. she had fever yesterday....sigh...
JJmom, perhaps you can encourage nat to ask for what she wants? perhaps its less a case of her suppressing than not sure how to ask for it? sorry i cld have missed some of your post...but maybe you can encourage her to ask for it first e.g. she looked sad about going to bed coz she wanna play little tikes. once you know this, maybe you can ask her to repeat after you "mommy, can I play cook cook pls?". teach her to associate a full question with the compulsory word "please" as a means of asking for something? as for when she want something "bad" i usually say a firm no but offer something else in replacement.
elch and vanilla, one night recently, Jov dropped something on the floor and he suddenly say "oh, F***!" I was stunned and asked hubby did he hear it. Before hubby could reply, Jaz, who was next to Jov when it happened, also said "F***!" i nearly went into panick mode man.... i asked jovann where did he learn it from, its a bad word and no one shall say this again in this house. aiyoh.....!!! *hyperventilating*
R&R!!!! ME ME ME!! *raise both hands unabashedly in the air in support of harry potter*!!! why u ask??? i know the show is out. but i am more a fan of the BOOK hee...
JJmom, perhaps you can encourage nat to ask for what she wants? perhaps its less a case of her suppressing than not sure how to ask for it? sorry i cld have missed some of your post...but maybe you can encourage her to ask for it first e.g. she looked sad about going to bed coz she wanna play little tikes. once you know this, maybe you can ask her to repeat after you "mommy, can I play cook cook pls?". teach her to associate a full question with the compulsory word "please" as a means of asking for something? as for when she want something "bad" i usually say a firm no but offer something else in replacement.
elch and vanilla, one night recently, Jov dropped something on the floor and he suddenly say "oh, F***!" I was stunned and asked hubby did he hear it. Before hubby could reply, Jaz, who was next to Jov when it happened, also said "F***!" i nearly went into panick mode man.... i asked jovann where did he learn it from, its a bad word and no one shall say this again in this house. aiyoh.....!!! *hyperventilating*
R&R!!!! ME ME ME!! *raise both hands unabashedly in the air in support of harry potter*!!! why u ask??? i know the show is out. but i am more a fan of the BOOK hee...
daisybuttons
New Member
R&R, saw ur earlier post on 11 Nov lunch, which i cannot coz I am on leave. But i can make it 18 NOv though!!! but u never page for me leh!! can i respond????!!!!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
hi daisy - oh my....where did he learn it from? sometimes playground they pick it up from older kids... my colleagues' daughter came back singing a sing which replace the words w F ...F...F... my colleague also v shocked!
hope jaz recover soon...
hope jaz recover soon...
daisybuttons
New Member
bigflamingo and JJmom....recently Jovann has been telling me tearfully "Mommy, I love you...." when i scold him.
makes me feel like shit man!
talking about nottie corner, both hubby and i will always not sure whether to laugh or be fierce whenever we enforce nottie corner to Jaz.
whenever we tell her "go stand there!" or "go stand in nottie corner!", she will very very willingly go, sometimes even running, and will even ask us sweetly, through her tears, which piece of the wall we want her to face? or check with us if where she is standing is the correct spot!!!! she will go "face here issit?" and "stand here???" all the while with streaming face but enquiring voice. alamak! dunno what to do with her....
talking about nottie corner, both hubby and i will always not sure whether to laugh or be fierce whenever we enforce nottie corner to Jaz.
jellypurin
New Member
mommies, i tell u... our kids are TOO SMART!... no matter how mischievous... sigh, we still love them and feel guilty after punishing them...
re: caning
I also don't have a cane at home and don't plan to start. My hubby said to buy one just in case but i firmly said no cos it'll be a convenient weapon. I do smack her hands or butt but only occasionally. I told my hubby if he wants a cane, he can use a hangar or his belt instead then he glared at me like i've gone mad. I told him it's no difference cos either one used, it's still a weapon. I read an article that got me to recall my punishment when young. I answered caning, kneeling at the altar, etc. Then the next question was to recall the misdeed that i had done to get the punishment and i couldn't really remember. So at the end, it explained that if you can remember the misdeed it means you've learnt something from the punishment. If not, then it means it's just physical abuse. So i showed my mum and said she abused us when we were young and she made a face at me... Hahaha!
I also don't have a cane at home and don't plan to start. My hubby said to buy one just in case but i firmly said no cos it'll be a convenient weapon. I do smack her hands or butt but only occasionally. I told my hubby if he wants a cane, he can use a hangar or his belt instead then he glared at me like i've gone mad. I told him it's no difference cos either one used, it's still a weapon. I read an article that got me to recall my punishment when young. I answered caning, kneeling at the altar, etc. Then the next question was to recall the misdeed that i had done to get the punishment and i couldn't really remember. So at the end, it explained that if you can remember the misdeed it means you've learnt something from the punishment. If not, then it means it's just physical abuse. So i showed my mum and said she abused us when we were young and she made a face at me... Hahaha!
vanilla_pod_2
Active Member
ya i also try to change and not intending to get cane and even trying not to smack as well... no physical punishment .... abit diff cos i really feel like smacking the hands when he does something v naughty.
daisybuttons
New Member
vanilla i think cld be from school, can't think of anywhere else??!!! oh my gosh! ur coll must have been so shocked!!!
Mint, hahaha thats funny! can imagine ur mom's expression when u caught her....
Mint, hahaha thats funny! can imagine ur mom's expression when u caught her....
matsu
Active Member
daisy,
hopes Jaz gets well soon *hugz to her*
i know it's a case of suppression coz althought she still cant express in full sentences, she used to shout 'dont want' at me...wahahaha
yah, i did tell her it's alright & she juz need to say 'mama, i want to play cook' but ended up, she only nodded her head & said 'cook cook'...kekeke
abt notti corner, yah sometimes Nat also no feeling when i put her at notti corner but i juz carry on =P
alamah, y these kiddos seems to pick up the nasty thing easier than what they r suppose to? *faintz*
aiyoh...Jov! i hope Nat dont pull tat on me.
hopes Jaz gets well soon *hugz to her*
i know it's a case of suppression coz althought she still cant express in full sentences, she used to shout 'dont want' at me...wahahaha
yah, i did tell her it's alright & she juz need to say 'mama, i want to play cook' but ended up, she only nodded her head & said 'cook cook'...kekeke
abt notti corner, yah sometimes Nat also no feeling when i put her at notti corner but i juz carry on =P
alamah, y these kiddos seems to pick up the nasty thing easier than what they r suppose to? *faintz*
aiyoh...Jov! i hope Nat dont pull tat on me.
daisybuttons
New Member
R&R, oh!! so have u got any kakis oredi? heehe i usually watch HP with hubby. i think nobody can stand watching with us. we will compare every scene, every sentence, extensively with the book cos we read each book at least twice. me about 3-4 times. so i think i will bore you to death hehehehe!!!
CH mummies
i read a friend's blog and was quite surprised/tickled abt the interview thing too!
i guess with long waitlists CH can afford to be selective. i also read that if the kid (usually boys i guess) have hitting/ behaviour problems, they have one month to resolve it before they get kicked outta CH... whoa...
i read a friend's blog and was quite surprised/tickled abt the interview thing too!
i guess with long waitlists CH can afford to be selective. i also read that if the kid (usually boys i guess) have hitting/ behaviour problems, they have one month to resolve it before they get kicked outta CH... whoa...
Caning
Mint I can remember why my mum stripped me naked in the toilet and caned me till she was 'satisfied'. I was cos I did badly in school. I also remembered once when I didn't do well in school, my mum stripped me naked and threw me out of the house. I was 12.
And no I don't hate her now. But no I won't use those methods on Jo. I don't intend to hit her at all.
Time out
Can you mummies name some situations which you have to resort to this? I only used time out on Jo when she refused to brush the teeth and by time out, I meant I walked out of the room.
Mint I can remember why my mum stripped me naked in the toilet and caned me till she was 'satisfied'. I was cos I did badly in school. I also remembered once when I didn't do well in school, my mum stripped me naked and threw me out of the house. I was 12.
And no I don't hate her now. But no I won't use those methods on Jo. I don't intend to hit her at all.
Time out
Can you mummies name some situations which you have to resort to this? I only used time out on Jo when she refused to brush the teeth and by time out, I meant I walked out of the room.
daisybuttons
New Member
Saxo..... hhmmmm I usually do time out for Jaz if she hits/bites gorgor but refused to apologise or acknowledge that she's wrong. I will ask her to go to the corner to think about it. For Jovann is when he lies about things...
sushi, Dr Ong used to be our preferred PD. but no longer with him, din even know he has left SBCC. did you check with the TMC SBCC nurses? they are very nice they may share...
sushi, Dr Ong used to be our preferred PD. but no longer with him, din even know he has left SBCC. did you check with the TMC SBCC nurses? they are very nice they may share...
Saxo,
Your mother was so harsh! For me, caning is fine, but stripping a child is over the board. My sister used to strip my nephew's bottoms to cane him when he was naughty. I thought that was unhealthy even for a small child becos being naked for the wrong reason has alot of negative implications. And you were 12. It must have been hard on you. But you must also be a tough cookie. If it were me, I would remain traumatised for the rest of my life.
You use 'time out' on your baby already ah? I don't have the heart to use 'time out'. When I refused to talk to my first kid for something that she had done wrong, one of my sisters said this to me,"You can scold a child, but you should never ignore her." It sorta changed the way I view certain punishments.
On "children who lie are smart", I think that's true, bcos I don't lie, and I am not smart.
Your mother was so harsh! For me, caning is fine, but stripping a child is over the board. My sister used to strip my nephew's bottoms to cane him when he was naughty. I thought that was unhealthy even for a small child becos being naked for the wrong reason has alot of negative implications. And you were 12. It must have been hard on you. But you must also be a tough cookie. If it were me, I would remain traumatised for the rest of my life.
You use 'time out' on your baby already ah? I don't have the heart to use 'time out'. When I refused to talk to my first kid for something that she had done wrong, one of my sisters said this to me,"You can scold a child, but you should never ignore her." It sorta changed the way I view certain punishments.
On "children who lie are smart", I think that's true, bcos I don't lie, and I am not smart.
We put Kate in a naughty corner go eye level to her and say in a fierce firm but not shouting voice that what she did was wrong (hitting / putting herself in danger / refusing to obey e.g throw things on floor in fit of anger/rebellion when ask her to put back/keep/not play w sth dangerous) make her say sorry, then hug the parent disciplining, and the person she hit. Not time out per se.
So far works quite well. If she immediately says sorry and does what we ask her to do when a situation arises, then no need even to put in naughty corner to reprimand.
Saxo
Yr mum real big on results, man. I was caned at least a few times, cos of rebellion and rudeness I think. Up to lower primary. I kinda think I deserved it, and kinda glad my parents never spoiled me though I'm only child, and a girl at that. And think I could have been a real nasty person if my dad wasn't firm in discipline. So I thought I'd cane Kate if the need arose. But so far think her personality might never warrant coming to that. But should not say so soon.
So far works quite well. If she immediately says sorry and does what we ask her to do when a situation arises, then no need even to put in naughty corner to reprimand.
Saxo
Yr mum real big on results, man. I was caned at least a few times, cos of rebellion and rudeness I think. Up to lower primary. I kinda think I deserved it, and kinda glad my parents never spoiled me though I'm only child, and a girl at that. And think I could have been a real nasty person if my dad wasn't firm in discipline. So I thought I'd cane Kate if the need arose. But so far think her personality might never warrant coming to that. But should not say so soon.
icylemon
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">good morning.
so disturbed by such news.
why got such mother.
http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/World/Story/A1Story20101109-246419.html
Saxo, naked!! *drool*
sorry to say.. your mum is way TOO MUCH!!!
Dimpletot,
i cant imagine you were rude. coz you look like a 乖乖女.</font>
so disturbed by such news.
why got such mother.
http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/World/Story/A1Story20101109-246419.html
Saxo, naked!! *drool*
sorry to say.. your mum is way TOO MUCH!!!
Dimpletot,
i cant imagine you were rude. coz you look like a 乖乖女.</font>