(2008/10) Oct 2008

hi everafter - aiyo stupid maintenance mode...i type what Gina Ford's mtds to handle tantrums:

1) Diversion - use water, balloons, party poppers
2) time out - placing in cot w door shut
3)holding time - Hold toddler closely and firmly n talking to him in soothing tone till he calms down
4) withdrawing attention - ignore, let it run its course
 


<font color="0000ff">JJmom,

U muz be really happi tdy
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Everafter,

Good to know that, think for now, most of our toddlers might be at tis stage of "throwing tantrums", showing signs of temper and etc..maybe you can try out some of the advices offered by the mommies here. Think most of our tods behave differently, if one method dun work try the other, dun give up ya, it's just a passing phrase and he will outgrow it very soon
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*pat pat*

Busybee,

I agree that the Gramps sometimes spoil mkt hahaha ;p~

Thxs for the info
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Everafter, wow i can sense your distress, it must be tough juggling your new job and a spirited toddler. Remember watching some techniques on Supernanny, one being time out. You might want to get her book check for tips.

Vanilla, i know that look! Minibee shows the watery eyes and mouth turned to a frown look only when her papa gives her the firm NO NO!

JJMom, congrats! Must be music to ur ears.
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hi buffy - the other day i am almost down w throat infection, went see co doc and he gave me steriods and it helped. i took it 3X and that killed it. I told him - i cannot get sick, i need to run the household, work and take care of bb and hb..haha...

u might want to boost ur health w TCM supplements?
 
<font color="0000ff">Hey Jolly babe,

Enjoy your leave *wink wink*
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Buffy,

Vit C can be quite "heaty" too much of it will back-fire resulting in sore throat and etc..the best is to derive the nutrients from having more fruits/vegetables instead.
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Hey Jolly!! Long time no see... *Waves* How have you been? Are u in 3rd tri already?

Vanilla, thanks for sharing Gina Ford methods.

Buffy, i think max is 1000mg, body will just pass out the excess. Are you drinking enough water? A natural remedy to try is echinacea?
 
good morning mummies.

welcome kolamummy...
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Jelly/Dimple/Ruffles/joanne, sorry had to fly kite yest, glad u gals had fun. was having flu din want to go back office to pass germs nor to you gals.
 
Went to dig out the course notes, and thought i share the "Tools of Handling the HOT Spots" (though some may be more applicable when our buds is abit older)

1) Distraction
2) Stern Face
3) Swoop and Scoop (for Under-Three's)
: parent intervene and remoce the child heading towards a tantrum
4) Acknowledge their feelings
5) Selective Deafness
6) Set a Boundary
7) Practise Behaviour You Want
8) Use "No" Sparingly
9) The Broken Record (Keep restating your request)
10) Prompt
11) Praise Coorporation
12) Cue-Prompt-Reinforce
13) Use Empathy for Victim
14) Consequences

Rem : Act Kindly but Firmly when Discipling.

When the kids are older:
Discipline:
E.g. the child removed all the knobs of your kitchen cupboard.

1) Show kids what they have Done
(E.g. oh dear, where are all the knobs? how can we open the cupboard?)
2) Give them ownership of the problem
( Let's see what can WE do now)
3) Gives them option for solving the problem
(Look, we can screw them back. Let's do it together)
4) Leaves their Dignity intact
(Wow, look you can do it)
 
<font color="0077aa">little bluey: oh issit? I din know that... Thanks... I do take loads of veg and fruits, in fact, my dad prepares fresh fruit juice for me every morning. just dunno why, I keep getting throat infection.

busbyee: i do leh, i drink quite a bit of water because i am v vain! water = good skin! hahahahahahahahahaha... and plus the hot yoga classes i do, basically, i am "forced" to drink water. Echinacea ah? Can, I will go kaypo and lok see look see

These few days, the hot weather does not help too. And maybe because period is around the corner, wah biang, I have hot flushes lor... Better start drinking some liang teh man</font>
 
<font color="0000ff">Buffy,

For both my hb and myself, if we would to take Vit C tabs, we can't take it continously else we will start getting the sore throat and etc...

Maybe your body is too "heaty" try some detox herbal remedies, go to those chinese medical halls get some "Jin Yin Hua" or "White Chrysanthemum" to boil and drink every once a wk or so.

For fruit juice, limit intake of "OJ", take more 'neutral fruits'</font>
 
Buffy, I learnt from fruit stall aunty at golden shoe ( u work at raffles place right??) that best is starfruit or chinese pear juice. I used to grab a juice every morning before work so aunty will dispense advice all the time!
 
Lilbluey, are the white chrysantemum the smaller sized ones? The one I get is about $4 a pack. Not sure if its the right ones. I drink that whenever I feel heaty or on a hot day. So convenient after I bought the magic brewer from BP.
 
no worries busybee - the gina ford book is called the contended toddler years


hi buffy - starfruit + green apple juice is good for sore throat
 
<font color="119911">bluey, busybee,
hmm...actually Nat has started to say 'mama' for awhile but m not sure if she knows tat's me...wahahaha

but last nite &amp; this morning, i know she is calling me for sure coz she is in the cot &amp; calling me coz she wants OUT! (-_-)'' but i m still HAPPY leh...kekeke</font>
 
<font color="0077aa">lilbluey: yah, my body is the heaty type. I once ate Korean Ginseng Chicken with my ex colleagues and my whole face was bright red right to the tip of my ears and it was like that for a few hours. I was so hot and flushed!!! I think I better down the Vit C and the multi Vit to half man... Ya, the medical hall near my place also suggested white chrysanthemum... WIll get my helper to boil tomorrow...

Busybee: yes yes, I work at Raffles Place and yes yes, I know abt Starfruit. Sometimes when I feel something coming up, I will take the juice with a bit of salt and it works wonders... Think I will go and get some later... The throat is not feeling and look too good. tsk tsk tsk</font>
 
Vanilla, I heard the Gina Ford method is very strict, when i learnt that book says to start the day at 6 plus am, I knew its not for me and minibee. We are late risers! hahaha.... But I think I may just check out the book for reference.

JJmom, when minibee first called me I was delighted... But for the week after she was calling me NON STOP. Was like Mamamamamamama... Then dunno to be happy or to hide!hahaha
 
<font color="0077aa">vanilla: thanks. hahahahahahaa... i am the same when I go see the doc - will tell him i cannot get sick lah, need non drowsy formula lah, need to watch over 1 baby, 2 dogs and 1HB. Darn drama. hahahahahahahaha</font>
 
bluffy, for throat infection....i will go to those medical hall to drink the liang teh with some powder herb (tell the person there what are u drinkg for like throat infection or cough etc), works wonder for me and my hb....but have to drink 2 dosage if too heaty.
 
*waves*
busybee: ya, in my 31 weeks now..so 9 more weeks or even shorter !! getting really tired but still trying to spend every possible time with Ash.

JJmom: you must soo thrilled !!

Everafter: glad to know you are happy with your new job =)

Buffy: if you are already down, try not to load up too much Vit C cos it will help the bad bacteria become stronger. Try to have more rest. GNC has this product, forgot the name but it's good as it has anti-oxidants. If you are ok with TCM, can try too. It works it building up my immune. Hope you are feeling better now =)
 
actually i had not been well too... my body is sorta dysfunctioning... my sinus problem visited me since last week and i had not been able to shake that off... i cant take medicines and all i can do is clear my nose using a netti-pot and drink coffee to ward off the pain...
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<font color="119911">toddler tantrum :
i find myself a little lost at disciplining Nat coz i m not sure shd we start serious consistent disciplinary now? but doubt Nat understands any reasoning yet?

but if we juz do distract/remove method when she throws tantrum now, will it b too late to correct her when she is older?

Nat's doting daddy &amp; grumps say it's too early, of course (-_-)''

M doing the distract/remove way if it's a less serious offense &amp; the 'No' then leave to cry when it's more serious 1s now.</font>
 
jelly : yay, will be your turn pretty soon !! finished washing all the little clothes, mittens and booties..soo cute..hee
looking forward but also abit scared..hope i can cope with 2 young boys manz !
 
R &amp; R, got it from BP. Its Kessler brand. I just add the Loose Tea Leaves or Floral Buds, Rock sugar and boiling water. Let it stand for abt 10 to 15 mins. Then ready to drink. Just put the brewer over your mug and the tea flows into mug w/o tea leaves or flowers. Then just add water again for next pot. Works for coffee too. But one pot can fill abt 2 mugs at most. Found a demo on you tube for u. I love it. Have been looking for this product for a looong time when i used it at a friend's place. The lady selling us the scissors is the one who sold the brewer on BP.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keWT8u-1YcY
 
tantrums
Everafter, what makes him throw the tantrums? I feel that prevention is cure. If you know the situation that would make him throw a tantrum, try to avoid them.

Hmm, allow me to go back to this for a while. What constitutes a tantrum actually? If they're unhappy and they cry, is that one? How do your toddies act out when they are throwing a tantrum? For me, as long as Jo screams, I constitute that a tantrum. She doesn't do anything else actually. Err, or not yet.
 
hi busybee - haha i dun practice Gina Ford's sleeping patterns/mtds cos my boy is totally not 7-7 bb. I just use the rest for reference..

hi buffy -- haha my sob sorry to doc is to get MC
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<font color="0000ff">Busybee,

Yes, it's either those wrapped in brown paper with the words "Bai Hang Ju" something like that, else they will repack it into even smaller packets, easy to differentiate the petals are off-white
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Buffy,

U can mix abit of table salt with Starfruits, good for curing sore throat.

JJmom,

U see lar, *self-denial* wahahaha ;p~ hee

U will be surprised at how our tots are learning now, they will understand at tis tender age, I believe we must start from young else later it will be more difficult to discipline them in future. *my 2 cents*


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jjmom
Removal and distraction are discipline tools for our toddies now. They learn to know what is okay to do, and what is not. If they are constantly removed from a situation, with a disapproving look/word, they will learn that is a no in the house. That is also correction ah.

Disclaimer: I'm bad at discipline too. I myself am brought up in a very strict family, with spanking being the norm. Before Jo, I agree to the adage 'Spare the rod, spoil your kid' but now with Jo, my mindset is different. I hate being a disciplinarian in school. But since I care for Jo a whole lot more, I want to make her 'right' so I'm determined to be a better disciplinarian.
 
Jolly, wow your last leg! Do keep us posted!!
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Will you be giving Ash a gift (from didi)? Read that it helps Ash not feel jealous. Even my gynae said its a good practice, he told me this when he was trying to convince me to try for #2!

JJMom, not too early. My Pd said better to start them now when they are learning to manage their emotions. When older they are set in their ways already harder to explain why last time can now cannot. U know they may rebutt us that way!! Hahaha

Karen, wow then you are truly blessed. Jo is good girl lor. So mild mannered. Minibee went thru this screaming stage, I think when she discovered she can increase and decrease her volume. She would whisper then scream. such a silly thing but she has outgrown that phase. As for tantrums, when she wants some thing like NOW or dun want to stop playing and then throw a fit with frustration.
 
<font color="0000ff">I've a fren SIL's son who did not really discipline her son well, his father is those who loves kids. So even when his son misbehave, he will most probably get off with a 'gentle scolding' or a 'small pat on his hand'. He's almost 2 years of age now and the parents are putting him in some playgroup, initally they thot he was coping well in school but then later the teacher told the mum that he was giving them some problems becos "he was practically slapping" the other toddlers in the same class as him and they are having difficulties correcting him. Worse thing is the mum was very defensive, keep blaming the school for not telling her earlier and "insist the son was not at fault" &amp; blah blah blah -_-"".

My fren was telling me even at his gramps place over the wkend, he will go round 'slapping pple' and all his parents will say is "Boy, cannot do that" so in tis instance, wat sort of message are the parents telling the kid?? No form of proper disclipine, the kid would probably think it's ok to continue with his action since no one corrected him at all.

Basically, the kid is spoilt rotten and now he's totally out of control.. a total brat to say.
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busybee : yup, will be getting a present from 'didi' to Ash..am still looking!! he is interested in soo many diff things now..cracking my brain!
 
Lilbluey,
I'm scared that Bryan will end up like a brat
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No one is spoiling him, just that our methods dont work at all when he throw tantrums!

Karen,
mm..simple thing like, we dont let him climb up the table? Or when we take away the finished pkt-drink frm him..then his tantrums will start
 
everafter
rebby likes to climb tables too, but when she does it more than twice, i remove her fm the dinner table and will either give her some food or remove her fm the table and tell her that what she did is wrg and she cant do that. if she throws tantrums, i will put her in her stroller and we go gai gai ... i will let her cry in her stroller... i dun really care about what the others think of me... i think it is more dangerous for her to climb on the dinner table and get hurt by a hot bowl of soup or anything like that...
 
jelly,
We did remove him but distract him by giving snacks or talk to him but dont work
sad.gif
am sooooo stressed cos on one hand i hv to pacify the boy, on the otherhand, my hb is threatening to beat him
 
Good Morning Mommies,

I used the cane on my two older kids sometimes too, but only if they tell lies or something very serious. My hubby hates it though, so we always argue over this. With Skylar, I feel she is still too young for the cane so what i do is either tell her a very stern "NO", ignore her tantrum, distract her or just smack her on her thigh..... well sometimes a combination of all these method.

Bluey,
Wah your friend's SIL's son so horrible ah? How can the mum be defensive? Still defend the son. Crap!!

Skylar is going to childcare centre in May le, kinda worried that she will get bullied.

Sighssssss
 
<font color="0000ff">Everafter,

Give him some time, maybe you try to reinforce again or use some of the methods as mentioned by the mommies here...

Dun be too hard on yourselves, trial &amp; error, am sure something will work out
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Gioanna,

I agree, it's crap! all the mum care is to beautify herself and his father dun believe in harsh discipline or using the rod, even when his own mum wants to disclipine his son, he will stop her !@#$%^&amp;*(

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Everafter,
Worried hor? We are teaching Skylar how to feed herself now. We even got a copy of the school menu sample and get Skylar used to that type of food. She seems to like it especially marconi soup, scrambled eggs, fresh milk. Hehe she hates cereal with fresh milk though.

Bluey,
Don't worry, the parent will reap what they sow in another few years time. They will suffer their son talking back to them, scolding them in the public and not respecting them. God, I hate kids like that.
 
everafter
Okay, and this is going to take a lot of work, whenever any of you spot him going to climb the table, is it possible to quickly carry him away, in a cheerful, playful voice and swing him instead or something?

As for the other matter, and it's just me, ok? I find it a smallie so I will ignore and let him play with the empty box. He's at an exploring age and maybe the empty box piqued his curiosity. Then slowly, and playfully, get him to pass the box back to you. For me, I would always say to Jo, "Give to mummy." If she would refuse, I would look away, then quickly turned to her again, and said the same thing. Very playfully. Eventually, when she's bored of the game, and the object, she would usually pass to me. Or you ignore him after a while, and pick up something interesting to him, but you play it yourself, I'm sure he would approach you, and then you can do an exchange. There's no need for him to throw a tantrum at all. If you do this often, I think Bryan will get the drift and learn not to throw tantrums when you ask for something from him.
 
Karen,
Sounds like a gd idea! i'll try that. thanks..regarding the empty pkt drink, sometimes its some leftover of the bubble tea, and my mum asked me to take away frm him cos worrying he'll pop his eyes with that sharp point straw..I suddenly think of another way to distract him, bring him out! cos he loves going out :D But then again, my hb belives in beating only
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he thinks the soft approach will only spoilt him to become a brat
 
<font color="119911">Karen,
I really dunno...like last wkend, Nat threw tantrum &amp; refused to finish her dinner.

My fil wanted to bring her go 'gai gai' to distract her from crying but i insisted tat she is not allowed to go 'gai gai' when she is still in the mid of a tantrum &amp; left her to cry instead.

So shd we distract/'bribe' with something else to stop their tantrum (will these backfire?) or carry out the disciplinary act (say 'no', reasons) leave them to cry &amp; realise tat crying is not getting them their way?

I agree with distract/avoid if we can predict a tantrum brewing but if it's already an on gng issue?</font>
 
Gain IQ PROMO!

It's selling at $48 for 1.8kg at Guardian for 4 days special.

By the way, just to share with all of u... dun noe whether has anyone notice, there is a new formula Gain IQ (it's in a darker shade of blue) in the market now, which is selling at $31.90 for a 900g. bought that at NTUC the other day to be put at my mum's plc. Think they are clearing the old stocks now... so do stock up some if u can.
 
<font color="0077aa">busybee: yes yes, i know of it. got a quote to do it some more 'cos my parents did it at their place. but 'cos it is a "permanent fixture" - the steel cables are drilled into the perimeter, it is not movable? Hence HB dun like lor. U considering ah?</font>
 
Purple, really! Great! Just nice I am going to the nearby mall. I shall go grab a tin!

Buffy, yeah. I think they look great! May I ask would u rate it as a safe product in the home our kids? I think aesthetically they are great but the permanent fixture factor is main deterrent for us too. Cos I am wondering how to clean the windows. Dun want helper getting hurt trying to squeeze arm thru. Can you share the per sqf quote? I will be dragging hubs to their showroom to look at it after cny.
 


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