(2008/10) Oct 2008

essanna/Jen
reading about hb dun reply to long email or letter..dunno to laugh or angry, my hb also like this. So it's like a men women thing? Women like to wrong long letter to express but men just keep quite.
Myhb also the same.. either his reply was 1 sentence or no reply at all.. so all these years I realise writing letter dun work at all liao si I used other approached..heehee..now I realise, keeping quiet and black face work best on my hb I dun write letter anymore.

Essanna
U know ah.. I always tell hb the same thing. It's so easy for men, for women is soo soo tough, we ahve to go thru preganancy, labour pain, breast feeding pain and always more kan cheong with children. and indeed being a women is so not an easy task.
So I always get hb to be involved in everything from seeing gynae to taking care of children.
 


Ribena, y all the hubbies similar one huh? My hb also kept picking on my mum and how she handle my boy! Still wanna rant that y my mum can carry our son all the time and his mum cant! HELLO! My mum is going to b taking care of our boy when i returned to work leh! His mum?!! She cant even take care of herself and i see the way she carry my son, i cannot tahan lor..Like wanna drop anytime!!

Your MIL really quite bad, but..u still got cod fish to eat (thanks to your bb lah). Me? The only thing my MIL ever bought for me, or rather for my son is a few pcs of handkerchiefs!! Not that i xi han anything frm her, but pls dun add further pressure on me and try to act smart and give her "smart alec" comments!!! Its so irritating!!

Your MIL still hvnt give up hope for a grandson lor..aiya, IGNORE her!! Best is, even if your 2nd kid is a boy, dun let her see! haha...punish her for treating u so badly during your 1st pregnancy!! :p
 
Frankly, some of the confinement rules are really crazy! (no offence to any mummies who follow them). Esp. the part abt cant bathe and wash hands...we would be feeling so dirty and imagine your bb had to tahan smelly mummy when latch on! I also went out during my confinement and as usual my mum was nagging. Still asked me to go ask my frens where got ppl confinement go out one! I told her, alot of my frens went out and even dun eat confinement food! That shut her up! hahaaa....Anyway, my mum gave up on this stubborn daughter of hers lah..she said if i hv a 2nd kid, ask me to employ my own confinement lady as she has no eyes to see! :p 2nd kid?? We're having 2nd thoughts already! Cos its really so tiring and the thots of putting on 20kg+ and had prob shedding them off turns me off manz!!
 
Looks like im the only nite owl tonight..How does u mummies keep yourself awake for the day/night? Coffee is my saviour everyday and i cant live without it!
 
i totally agree tat some confinement rules r crazy!! my aunt can tell me i need to drink at least 3 cups of milo a day then my BM will increase
i'm like counting down everyday to the day i can shampoo my hair n foam myself up..
if got bathtub even best.. soak till i shiok but don have..
 
everafter..
I'm still; here... gng to make my bb sleep again.. she is awake for hrs now still dun wan to sleep
sad.gif
 
everafter,
u still awake ah?? Same here, my hubby kept wanting me to bring bb back to his home telling me how much his mum misses Claudia. Coz i've been bring bb to my grandfather's place. But pls lah, miss her, come over to my place lah. I so free meh, everytime bring her back. I tot she always wanted a grandson????

My MIL not automatic one lor. me and bb staying over at my mum's place, she dun have a red packet for my mum one lei. My mum dint mentioned anything but as a daughter, i felt for my mum. She's under a lot of pressure coz she scare i kena bullied by my MIL.

Ur MIL oso one kind. as if u cant afford those handerchiefs. How come our lives so miserable?? I envy my coll. She has a very good IL. Very supporting and loving towards her.

Before i was married to my hubby, I always acc my MIL whenever she wants to go out. I took care of her after her surgery, its very tiring coz all r guys in the family. No one wants to bathe her nor change her. I'm d one doing that and acc her for all follow-ups. HAiz...
 
Re: confinement rules

My flat coming soon in 1-2 yr's time. I'm gg to hav 2nd kid and do confinement there. And rules r meant to be broken. I'm gg to do things my way then. Cannot tahan those days and really feel like killing myself then.

My hubby's back le. gg to log off. nitey mummies
 
karen
i used to write long long emails to my hub too. realised he didn't even finish reading it, or had immediately forgotten the contents after reading. he didn't even remember i've written to him at all *faintz*

Ribenali
i guess many hubs are the same. :)

everafter
yeah...how not to bath in weather like Singapore. I sweat everyday, even when i sleep and sit down.
 
<font color="aa00aa">everafter
Your mum going to look after bryan when you go back to work? She stays nears sengkang also? At least good lah, better to have your own mother looking after your bb so at least you can fangxin go work.</font>
 
<font color="0077aa">good morning mummies

any baby like to make noise while sleeping? my girl likes to do 'exercise' her hand &amp; leg then ll make a lot of noise like 'cow'
yst more loud make me cant sleep... haizz
</font>
 
Talking abt confinement rules... i very guai leh.
I only bath 3 times during that 30 days
Drank water only with my medicine

But, i sleep and walk ard the house in B&amp;P only, aircon and fan on all the time. Keke...

My MIL say i can handle bb well, but suck at eating confinement food esp ginger and DOM and i dun take care of myself.
 
my marcus new hobby, playing with his mouth and tongue. He likes to blow bubbles with his salvia now!! And will make his mittens wet by stuffing hands to mouth.
 
Hubby
Yah I felt really better after writing the email. And he did read and things are better, for the moment. LOL! Hopefully it'll stay that way.

MIL
My MIL is the very very traditional kind. So I am expected to have a boy even though there are already so many boys in the family. Still, she surprised me by visiting me twice in the hospital, bought confinement food for me, and even wanted to come visit. I thought since mine was a baby girl, she wouldn't bother. Hmm, but I'm sure she would start nagging for us to have another baby soon.

Visitation
My brother in law just asked my husband why I'm so anti-social, not wanting visitors to go. I thought he would understand since he has a child before.
 
Ribena, your MIL really wang eng fu yi! Same lor..these sickening ILS, after bb borned then everyone suddenly get so excited and wanna bond with bb! Buay tahan! pls give some respect to we the DIL!!

Mousebb, my mum stayin at tampines, so i will only bring Bryan back hm on fridays. We're looking at resale soon, so once we move out, then my mum will come over to look after bryan. I forsee by then my hb sure complain y we didnt bring their precious grandson for them to see/carry!!
 
<font color="aa00aa">everafter
No choice mah! Will be very tiring for Bryan also if everyday bring him back to your mil's place. Adults will be tired too! I can understand that cos last time when we sent wenxuan to infant care center, everyday we have to leave home at 6.15am the latest! All our energy was drained out and poor wenxuan was always tired too.</font>
 
Wah...enya is our supplier man. We ask her for everything. Fenugreek, calendular cream, milk bags. Keke... enya, biz is good eh.

Visitors:
Am i the only one that like visitors? So boring to be home with bb and mil.
 
<font color="0000ff">Today is my EDD liao, juz back from my checkup. I m 2cm dilated liao, gng into labour suite later after 12pm. Bb expected to b out by tonite liao
happy.gif
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Talking abt writing letters to hb, i usually will blog abt my unhappiness towards him but he doesnt hv access to my blog. The funny thing is that he spy into my blog few times when i forgotten to log out. But still doesnt help much leh
 
bigflamingo,
Oh my! Where in world did you get that CL? Haha! Sometimes it's better to not have a CL rather than have a horrid one. I was quite happy with mine. Gave me plenty of freedom and cooked quite yummy food.

My MIL stories are not funny lah when you are in my shoes. Sometimes get so frustrated that I have to control all my expletives. Sigh!

confinement rules: Now that I recall, I broke some more rules - went for a movie (heehee!), went to supermarket, walked around the house without slippers.

Hubbies: All men the same... Needs to be trained. Kekeke!
 
Hi mummies,

I'm new in this thread. My twins were born 2 mths pre mature so ended up reading Oct thread.btw, can i know how much ur babies are drinking now? my girls are only drinking abt 40ml per feed now
sad.gif
think they are too small so can drink much

Enya, I'm also looking for milk bags. would u be able to supply pls?

Re confinement,
this time i more guai. but still broke rules, like bathing everyday w herbal, washing my hands and face regularly w plain water and washing my hair on the 14th day and no blow dry.
happy.gif
its so hot n humid that i cant stand not bathing
 
morning mummies, today is day 1 my hb goes back to work..
n so far so gd.. my CL go market i can still more or less handle my gal *relieve*
but i guess this is only the tip of the iceberg :p
 
Mummies,
How do I get rid of the nose boogey from bb's nose? The nostril is so tiny that I dun know how to get it out. I think it's kinda affecting her breathing cos she's breathing really hard and last night, she was so uncomfortable that she kept waking up as soon as we put her into her cot. She was only comfortable when we put her chest down but I didn't feel safe letting her sleep like that the whole night. So my beauty sleep was gone... Sigh!
 
Hi mummies,

I really don't know how you all manage to come online so avidly even after the baby's birth. I feel so whacked out for the whole 3 weeks when the baby's first out. I still feel weak and tired even now.

On confinement rules, I only bathed with herbs on the 5th day and shampoo on the 2nd week becos a friend came to visit. I felt embarrassed that my hair stinked.

I perservere to keep to most of the confinement rules becos I experience pain in the finger joints when I don't wear gloves in the night. I wake up with a numbed left hand and painful right hand sometimes. It's really scary.

My mother told me that my paternal aunt washed her hands with tap water during her confinement at first and she found that her fingers were all clenched one fine day. She ran back to my grandmother's place in fear and my grandmother got her a basin of hot herbal water to soak her hands in frequently, until her fingers could function as normal again.

But I feel that the effects of these confinement stuff are more obvious in older women, esp when you're over 30. My aunt was in her 40s when she had her first child. I didn't feel so much aches when I had my first child. I could walk and sit alot then. But now, my back aches when I don't rest enough.

Just yesterday, I was watching "Baby Blues' rerun on Channel 8. Chen Hanwei was telling the single mother that we need to rest in bed often to prevent the uterus from drooping. My mother told me I need to rest in bed to prevent my back from aching. And I think it's true. I find myself having less backaches when I rest more.

I drink only milo and longan water during confinement, and water only for my painkillers. I believe that water is a cooling agent and that's why it's not good to drink too much during confinement, since we're supposed to keep warm during confinement.

My mother even asks me to cover my head with a hanky or towel when I sleep at night. I don't follow this all the time becos it's really hot for me since I don't switch on the fan or the aircon. But I realise that sometimes I get headaches - my mother says it's the wind. She applies some ointment that gets rid of wind and it really works.

So in the end, I become more 'confinement' than my own mother. She told me I can bathe tomorrow but I am reluctant to becos my 30 days is not up yet. She has to attend a wedding on my 30th day but I keep asking her to do confinement for me till 40 days.

Karen,

Please don't cry so much. My mother ('my mother' again ... hahahaahaa) says it's bad for our eyesight to cry during confinement. Even my younger sister believes that. I have lots of things to cry about but I also quickly wipe my tears away and try very hard to think about happy things so that my eyesight will not be too badly affected.

On in-laws, I think mine is a classic. From day one of my pregnancy to hospital admission to baby's approaching full month, they have never called to ask about the baby, or come to visit the baby, much less get anything for me or the baby. They said they will come to visit the baby 'when they are free'. My mother is very angry with them. She said,"You mean they are soooo busy until they cannot take two hours off to come and visit the baby ah? Even if they don't acknowledge you as a DIL, they should come to see the baby." I've to agree that it's unforgiveable that the baby's grandparents don't come and visit. I tell myself I'll never go back for the reunion dinner anymore and I won't attend their funeral in future. What reunion dinner when they are so cold towards the baby?

On visitation,
I'm also 'anti-social'. I don't inform my friends about my baby's arrival and turn down friends' visits becos I still feel very weak. I would appreciate more rest instead. Besides, the house is in a mess. It's embarrassing for friends to visit.

On husband,
Oh yes, he's not supportive of breastfeeding. He said,"I don't understand what's so good about breastfeeding!!!" He tried to discourage me from pumping and asked me to sell it asap the first time I used it. He feeds the baby with my EBM and throws it away when the baby 'can't finish'. He keeps asking me to get up and 'exercise', saying too much rest is no good (Stupid him!). He keeps calling me names like 'handicapped', 'worse than handicapped'.
 
Wah Rains... ur hubby is damn one kind lor. BM is GOOD for baby. Endure, hang in there for baby sake.

My mum and MIL are super proud that i'm bfing Marcus. But hor... they are so proud that they go round announcing to the whole world, even when they are on phone with their friends and relatives. Some of the descriptions they use hor... really put me off. i feel like i'm a cow or sow. Argh!
 
mint
re: muck in bb's nose
my pd recommends
1. tissue paper - twist it n stuff in nose n pull the muck out
2. wet q-tips (if u dare) - hold bb's head, put q-tips thru n no deeper than the q-tip n pull out muck
3. saline drops fm pharmacy - drop a few drops in nostril n wait for it dissolve the muck
 
Wah Rains, your hb really ought to be shot. So xin ku to give birth to more than one and he can still call you names. wah liao, i hear already also buay song.

today had an incident with my mum. She's the opposite - totally against formula milk today. she has this weird idea that FM is causing bb to throw up. (cos bb threw up a lot after FM last night). I told her EBM also they will throw up! she said something like 'go and rest and pump more breastmilk, I'm not going to feed bb anymore FM'. SUPER upset. Think i don't want to TBF meh? Think so easy to pump ah? FEDDUP. not enough then bb starve lah! don't feed FM I feed lor *angry*. I'm already trying my best...
sad.gif


so insensitive. not as if she breastfed me. (apparently i punched her boob and she got infected and couldn't continue - so it was my fault). Anyway, it's always like that with her. the blame is always on someone else.
 
<font color="0000ff">LittleAlmond,

Hope u are feeling better alrd, I was oso down with a high fever 2 wks back.. was oso on antibiotics..Juz try to rest more ok and drink more fluids
happy.gif
Speedy recovery to you!
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<font color="0000ff">Rains,

I think your hubby is too much to call you names!!
sad.gif


He shd be supportive and give u encouragement instead of putting you down!

Hv u stand up to him? I think u shdn't take it lying down..
</font>
 
dimpletot-relax :> ur hormonal change is acting up. At least ur mum is supportive of bf-ing :>

U feed bb fm urself bah. Actually i dun really like FM, very troublesome, need to feed water and burp. I always take shortcut when bf :p lazy mum
 
Hi Littlebluey, thanks I'm fine but still need to be on antibiotics. How have u been?

JJmom, jia you!

I think all hubbys must be very supportive and encouraging during this period leh.... bbs need lots of TLC so does mummies.
 
<font color="0000ff">

RE: Confinement..

Most of the time I oso never follow the rules except for the 1st wk or so after I got home frm the hospital..

I managed to shower and shampoo my hair after 1 wk of suffering. I lament to my mum that it's making me so frustrated and she gave in muhahahaha..talk about wearing socks and long pants I oso never do so..I only wear bedroom slippers ard the hse which I considered very gd leow hahahaha...becos I dun hv such habit of doing so..when my ILs and my hubby's aunt came to visit us, they said I dun look like someone doing confinement muhahahaha ;p

RE: ILs

For me, my ILs have been treating me quite well during pregnancy and after. Prior to delivery, my MIL will always brew bird's nest and make tonics for me to drink when we go back for lunch once a wk and she will oso call to check on my status as well.

After Delivery, my ILs will visit once a wk and they will always buy lots of food like "fish, meat, chicken, fish bones" and etc..so that my mum can cook for me to eat. They oso give me a sum of money to pass to my mum for marketing.
happy.gif


They never really interfere much or make unnecessary remarks for which I'm thankful. Even now when we go back on Sun, she will still prepare food that I can eat becos I'm still on the "40 days confinement rules"..

RE: Hubby

I'm very grateful to my hubby for his support and encouragement during tis period of time. Since the day I delivered, he has practically been waiting on me hand and foot. He will powder bath me daily knowing how frustrated I was when I can't bathe and during at night when I dun want to wear my socks he will put them on for me and cover blanket for me (even thou I kicked it off later) lolx ;p

He was very much into the role of a father, he's very hands on. He bathes, change, clean up and feed the bb. And at night, he rotates with me to wake up and feed junior even till tdy. I told him since he has to work in the day, I will wake up and feed but sometimes I am juz too tired to hear bb's cries and he will get up and help with the feeding. Sometimes, feels abit bad becos after a hard day's work he oso nd to zz.

Once my hubby is back from work, he will relieve me of my duties to look after junior so that I can get more rest..
happy.gif
Apart from that, he oso still continues to do most of the housework..

A gd thing is he doesn't stress me out on b/f as well. I told him my milk ss isn't gd but he said it's ok, juz take it easy dun be too hard on myself.

After tis episode, it makes me appreciate him even more
happy.gif

</font>
 
<font color="0000ff">Dimpletot,

Dun stress yrself out no gd for milk ss oso..muz learn to relax ok
happy.gif


LittleAlmond,

I've recovered since, thanks
happy.gif


For the 1st time, I nearly complete my whole course of antibiotics which I never usually do hahahaha...;p

Looking after a baby is really tough but once we get the hang of it. Things juz look better!
happy.gif

</font>
 


dimpletot,
Actually I feel that there's some truth in what your mother said about FM. I remember my 1st kid throwing up like merlion constantly when she was on total FM. She drank, she vomitted, then we replenished her, and she vomitted. She threw up large amounts of milk at almost every feed. But for the 2nd baby who's on EBM, it's quite rare that she vomits, and never the amount my 1st kid vomitted. Perhaps it's also got to do with the fact that when we prepare FM, we tend to shake the bottle and introduce air bubbles into the milk.

Mummies,
Thanks for feeling angry for me on my husband. Even during pregnancy, he would also call me 'a handicapped' when I refused to carry heavy things. I just attribute his insensitivity and ignorance to his parents' poor upbringing. If his parents were any good, they wouldn't be ignorant about how grandparents ought to behave towards their grandchild.

But actually, before marriage, he wasn't like that at all. He was very sensitive and considerate. I never imagine he could be this insensitive. I can only say that men become quite the opposite after marriage.

I wanted to mention about the washing of hands in my previous post but forgot. My mother asks me to use the drinking water plus hot water to wash my hands. Don't use tap water. And wipe your hands dry immediately after that.
 
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