(2008/10) Oct 2008

[jellypurin]

reb
i don;t take an allowance from my hubby, cos he's earning as much as me, but what i do is i ask him for some cash that goes to my bb's savings's account. i take care of all my bb's expenses plus mine.

it all depends how u view an allowance. to me, if i think that traditionally, the husband is THE breadwinner, then yes, take the allowance. but if u think since u r gng to work and no need him to supplement, then dun take it. end of the day, u must come to terms and accept and be at peace that no matter you take or u dun take the allowance, you are one happy woman and mom.

also, if you hubby wants you to work, then i think it is fair for him to resolve your problem of not finding help at home to look after you kids, in fact, his children as well.

 

[godbless]

<font color="#C24641"> cheer
ic.

bbgoh
for me is. i intend to cut down the allowance.
hubby thinking is. DUN take allowance frm him.
den ytd nearly had a smal argument with him.
coz of allowance thingy. end up all angry angry until fall asleep. haha!!!</font>

 

[pig_pig]

<font color="aa00aa">Rebecca
Last time when I was still working, hubby would still pay for the bills and daily expenses at home. </font>

 

[jellypurin]

rebecca
maybe what u can do is then continue to take the allowance from him, work towards putting ur kids to CC/sch and then hv someone look after erin and go to work! at least u know everything is well looked after! then u cut the amt of allowance you take from him. that way, he knows u hv a plan. maybe, y dun u sit down and plan what you want to do until next year and before u send ur kids to CC/sch?

 

[godbless]

<font color="#C24641"> Ruffles, Jelly &amp; mousebb
thanks for sharing.
but still i will need to work thing out with him.
as i mention that he din really spend time discuss the matter with me.
also i need to ask my MIL what is her opinion.
coz aft all, i'm staying with her. also need to respect her.
some more she wil be helping me to look aft my kids.
just that now her back muscle problem.
i need to ask she prefer to look aft who.
hubby is always teh BIG problem.
coz he dun discuss.

at least me MIL will still crack her brain n help me with solutions.

</font>

 

[jellypurin]

reb
tell ur hubby, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger

he needs to listen to you as the weaker vessel in the marriage, so ask him to hear you out before he even thinks he cant offer you a solution! sometimes, man just thinks we want solutions from them, but we are not. we have a plan and we just want some validation - that our man will support us, no matter what!

 

[godbless]

<font color="#C24641"> Jelly
actually, the problem is on the $$.
coz he dun hve a good plan on how to keep n spend.
in sch time we always say 'study hard, play hard'
now my hubby is 'spend hard n work hard'
if u were to "spend" hard. how are we goin to save $$ for our future?

my MIL also told me the my hubby is a big spender.
now i get what she really mean liao..

but anyway, already married him. no point grudging.
now is need to think n work things out.

</font>

 

[godbless]

<font color="#C24641"> Jelly
WOW!!! bible teaching!! =P
well, i will try to talk to him first.
i hve a plan. but prob is i dunno the $$ he spend on what!
so i need him to really tell me where his $$ go to.
den i can slowly work out a better solution.

</font>

 

[jellypurin]

reb
ic.. but, honestly, cant teach ur hubby to save $. it's a v private thing, but husband and wife must be happy to talk about it lah, otherwise like what ruffles say, the love of $ is the root of all evil... so... u n ur hubby must be open to resolve this

 

[lilbluey]

<font color="0000ff">Rebecca,

Let your know that the 'allowance' obtained from him goes twds your 3 kids, as their father, I'm sure he dun mind the money is going to be spend on them.

With regards to you returning to the workforce, like some of the mummies discussed, it will be good to settle the domestic affairs first else you won't have a peace of mind.</font>

 

[godbless]

<font color="#C24641"> Jelly
no la.. i dun teach him de..
coz i know i'm talking to a tree.
no point. =P
mayb he is thinkin that i might take extra $$ frm him.
seriously, if i'm those kind of person.
i wont hve married him liao lor..
he knows it vry well. guess dun hve the trust ba.

coz i also like this. hehe.. so i cnt blame him for having a guard against me.
am i a bad wife?

</font>

 

[godbless]

<font color="#C24641"> Bluey
ya. i also agree. i found a few.
either too ex or no vacancies.

</font>

 

[volf20]

Rebecca

Men are visual creatures. You can go to him with your 'homework' done - write on a piece of paper all your family's known expenses and discuss. It can go like this:

1) Income tax = $xx
2) Electrical &amp; Water bills = $xx
3) Household food $4 = $xx
4) Insurance = $xx
5) Transport = $xx
5) Childcare costs = $xx
6) Schooling costs = $xx
7) Baby milk &amp; sundries cost = $xx
8) Entertainment = $xx
9) Others = $xx

Once you break the pieces up and reflect the amounts spent (btw u n hb), you will see which are the large chunks, and can then decide what to sting on etc.. hopefully this helps.

 

[dimpletot]

Reb

I can understand why yr hubby says if u r working then he doesn't need to give u allowance. Most couples who have double income don't get 'allowance' from hubby.

But u must explain to him yr calculations and situation. Unless u earn almost as much as him, how to not take some allowance for necessities? If u calculate that he continues paying all the bills and your salary is enough, then reduce allowance or better still don't take. If u want to sAve for him, then tell him, see I'm taking this X amt, but it's being saved in the bank, nt spendng on clothes for myself.

Hope this helps. I don't agree that women should take for the sake of forcing a habit. Marriage is a partnership and yr hubby needs yr trust and understanding.

 

[dimpletot]

Joanne
had earlier post on mtg up this thurs, PS, 130pm. Join us!

 

[bbgoh]

<font color="0077aa">Reb
i will calculate out my hb's income with his mthly expenses then only get my allowance from his balance. tats y i m the one who pay IFC fee bcoz he really cant afford it.

so u cant just follow wat others ppl do. maybe u need to work out yr hb monthly expenses if he has really no balance then bor pian even we need to take out our income to help the family.

for saving, we have a joint account &amp; do monthly giro debited from our personal account.</font>

 

[annetan84]

dimpletot,
sure..

just sms me where in PS as i might miss the post. my hp is 94234130.

 

[purpleangel]

mint,
since Jas interested, y dun the both of you share the nepia instead? easier for the both of you too...
don't nd to worry about me... keke

 

[tweety82]

Hi mummiess..
Varner was on high fever last saturday till 39.5.. Bought him to kkh on Sunday night.. Now better alr.. else me worriedd sick..

1st birthday bash..
Any location is ok to me.. of course cheaper one will be better.. hee..

Rebecca,
I think if you wan to put all yr children to cc or ifc, it's not worth it.. U gonna pay more than yr salary..

allowance:
U must do a calculation on all yr expenses and income.. maybe get abit from hb for safe keeping.. So far for me, I nv take any.. coz he got pay PUB this n that...

 

[honeyclover]

Rebecca,

Just sharing my thought..think you have to see what is the pay that you will be getting from your new job. With maid or sending the kids to CC or childcare needs $$ too. If after deducting all the expenses incurred u only left less than $500, then not worth it loh i feel.

For me &amp; hubby, we have a joint account, both our pay are into this account. We use it for everything..

so, he dun give me allowance, but he also never really restrict my spending. then both of us have different account for personal saving..

purple,
why leh? can also share mah...

 

[mint]

kylie,
Will take purpleangel's advise. 1 order 1 carton so 2 packs each ok? It's $14 per pack. I'm ordering M size. Ok for you?

Rebecca,
When I was working without bb, I still take $$ from my hubby. Hahaha!

 

[mint]

kylie,
purpleangel stays east side leh.

 

[purpleangel]

mint,
can mix sizes i think...

 

[dumbolyn]

Good afternoon mummies!

Rebecca,
on allowance.. i've never received any allowance..
we split the big ticket items like rental and car installments when we were living on our own. 65%-35%. cos i was the one who insisted on renting. so i had to pay..

for other material stuff, just depends on who's credit card has better discount or happens to have more $ in their pockets.. we have nv sat down to discuss properly who pays what except for the car.

now that we're living with his parents, he pays for all the necessities except petrol.. i cover that with my DBS card (cos i get better discount with SPC.. his evil ploy..) daily expenditure same as above..

one thing bad is we spend what we earn.. we have absolutely no savings!.. we are trying to start to save now.. but no luck.. still trying! the positive thing is our parents do not need us to provide for them.. *phew*

i love my dad..

haha!

 

[mint]

purpleangel,
Ok thanks for the tip.

 

[bigflamingo]

REbecca,

Based on how much you said your take home pay will be, it is actually not worth your while to work, because your childcare/maid expenses will end up even more than you earn.

The only reason to take the job is if you enjoy working.
I think you'll have to see where you can cut down on expenses to do so.

 

[bigflamingo]

to ensure we don't overspend, my husband and I draw an equal allowance every month, and put the rest of the money in a joint account for home and family expenses. Doesn't matter who is earning more : )

 

[dumbolyn]

imo, if both husband and wife are working, it is only fair that expenses are bore by both parties. we're living in modern times anyway. there should only be a "allowance" if one party isnt working.. unless he makes substantially more.. and like bigflamingo said, if the reason for wife to work is to bring in more $, then careful calculations need to be made. unless the reason is you want personal time (which is one of my reasons to continue workin).. then you have to weigh out the opportunity costs.

 

[elchwong]

Now then I realise how 'normal' it is for wives not getting any allowance from husbands! I thought I'm the minority who don't get 'paid' being a wife! I don't 'collect' any allowance from hubby, neither did he offers but he do pays for utility and internet bills, car installments and most of the groceries...

 

[xxinyingxx]

woo... on money.
Hubby give me everything.
I have to manange the $$.
So i'm paying for his CC bills, petrol, house etc with "MY" money.

 

[purpleangel]

mint,
no prob... u calling them direct or calling the no. I gave u previously?

 

[pig_pig]

<font color="aa00aa">Any idea who is Xiaoping Oh on FB?</font>

 

[pig_pig]

<font color="aa00aa">Tweety
Glad to hear that Varner is feeling better now. Did the doc tell you what is the cause for the sudden high fever?</font>

 

[elchwong]

XY,
WA!!!! How nice to have a hubby who surrenders everything to you!!!

 

[jellypurin]

xy
isit bcos u r an accountant that's why hubby knows u r the "jin da si xuan" person?

 

[xxinyingxx]

This xiaoping also added me. Who is that?

 

[andreatyt]

Hi mummies,

any bb even encounter sore throat...or lose their voice before?

what can i give to help my bb?

thnks

 

[rains]

eelyn,

Why don't you get an endowment plan to force yourself to save? Or sign up a savings plan and get the bank to deduct from your salary account through giro? Savings should be the first thing that's deducted when your pay reaches your bank account. Then will work. If you wait to see if there's anything left at the end of the month then save, it's very difficult bcos most people are not so disciplined. I'm already a very disciplined person but I also find it very difficult to stick to an amount if I don't force myself to save.

 

[jellypurin]

little doggie
my bb gets it all the time, esp after eating biscuits...

try giving her loads of water. if it deoes not help and her voice still sound "sexy", maybe u wanna bring her to PD. it can be inflammation or the tinsils swollen lah...

my OD prescribed "leftose" to my bb to bring back her voice... hee

 

[chrislin06]

<font color="0077aa">

</font>1st Year Bb Bash/Party

Hi Mummies, Please check whether have i miss out anyone' pm....

Confirmed Listing
Nick
1 XY
2 cheerbear
3 BBGoh
4 JJmom2008
5 Mousebb
6 Mousebb
7 Everafter
8 forest
9 ribenali
10 Chris Lin
11 Jollyhoppy
12 Tweety82
13 ypg
14 Jill
15 R&amp;Rmum
16 lili_fc
17 jerelbliss
18 Joanne
19 Nickypower
20 mint
21 Monyetnakal
22 Dumbolyn
23 Kylie_Mummy
24 TheLittleTot
25 Jelly
26 Gio





Committee :
Treasurer : Jolly and Chris lin
Co-ordinator : JJmom, Chris lin
Photographer : XY, mousebb hubby
Cupcake ordering : Cheerbear

Name tags : by Gymboree..they have the name stickers to paste on the bb's back



Mummies, I've made a tentative booking for
12th Sept 2009, Saturday
Gymboree @ Harbourfront
1.5 Hours (Time Slot is between 5-8pm)
Cost : $370 for first 10 babies; $15 for additional babies

We will have the activities for an hour at the gym area..and half an hour for snacks + birthday song. Would suggest finger food..so that it's easier..if not, we can proceed to somewhere else for food..so that there's more time for mingling..tot it's abit rush to finish up our food in half an hour.wad ya think ?

Suggestions always welcome

Mommies, we need decisions on :
1. Timing

(Jolly : 5pm-6.30pm)
(bbgoh : 5pm-6.30pm)
(JJmom : 5pm-6.30pm)
(Chris : 5pm-6.30pm)
(Tweety :5pm-6.30pm)

2. Food (don't think they provide any food)

JJmom : juz checked on Marche at Vivo, they don't entertain reservation fri &amp; wkends don't think we can get tables in this case?


Deadline to send PM to Chrislin: 22 July 2009


Most of the Mummies prefer Gymboree so we will go ahead with that...

 

[jellypurin]

chris
isit possible to check with gymboree if we can do check for catering? cos i dun mind to check for caterer.

 

[chrislin06]

jelly,

we can only eat at the muisc room which is veri small and then only half an hour...

as jolly say dinner maybe is a separate thingy as mos bb veri be tired after the playing so the dinner thingy is kind off loh... only cupcakes for all bb that are going...

 

[kare2711]

Reb
I also didn't take any allowance from my husband when I was working. As for the house bills, we split. He paid some, I paid some. I agree with Eelyn that it's ok not to take money for hubby but I also agree with the other mummies he should pay for some of the kids' expenses. Unless he's earning 3x or more than you.

 

[bbgoh]

<font color="0077aa">catering
i also thk no good idea to cater food in as we only have 1.5hr there i dun thk its enuf loh

</font>

 

[jellypurin]

chris
got that. cos trying to help in small ways. can opt for OCK... hee... curry puffs...yum

 

[pig_pig]

<font color="aa00aa">jelly

You are tempting me! I like ock!

If you all dont mind to have rich &amp; good swiss rolls, I can order from my hubby's aunt. Let me know.</font>

 

[chrislin06]

mousebb,

i love the rolls nice... hahahaha, will let jolly noe... hahahah

thanks jelly, hahah aa

 

[tweety82]

Dumbo,
I love my dad too.. coz I don need to give them allowance.. I pay for my mum's insurance in sg and my bro who stay with me only.. hee...

xy,
wow.. yr hb so good leh.. give u his money...

mousebb,
He said viral infection nia.. no say y suddenly like that leh...

Xiaoping oh,
I wonder who is she too.. she add me also..

 

[xxinyingxx]

I hope my hubby dun see today's topic. Else, he may stop giving me all his money. Keke...
What's his is Mine. Mine, is always Mine. Wahaha...

 

[pig_pig]

<font color="aa00aa">XY
Me opposite! I must show my hubby what you have posted and hope he would let me the 'finance minister'! Haha!!!!</font>