(2008/10) Oct 2008

<font color="#C24641"> Buffy
understand how u feel.
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tho my suffering is nth compare to u but i can really understand how u feel. aft i delivery Erin, i nearly fall into PND again. due to all the same reason u mention above. but coz i'm a christian n i got lots of moral support frm aunt, hubby, church pastors n church sisters. so i can pull up myself again.
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i can do it n u can can too!!!</font>
 


<font color="aa00aa">pildough: my story is so drama that I think I will frighten all the readers! LOL!!! At my worst moment, I remembered thinking to myself "how I wish I can chuck Cate down the chut so I need not be there for everything! Heng, I was still sane and calm enuff to think "how I wish" instead of "I want to"... Had to see a doc and was on anti depressants for i think 3 weeks. when I guest blog, so many readers actually had similar experience and there were some who had siblings worse off than me - they were suicidal! can you imagine how scary it was for us because we could hv never imagined having it and actually wanting to harm ourselves / the baby... Thank God I had tons of family support - HB, bro, SIL, MIL, parents and my helper is a God-sent. Ai yoh, when I think back, I shudder man.

The reason why I am thinking of speaking up about this is because when I saw the shrink, I was surprised to see how many patients she has who went thru the same thing! A lot of them did not even know they had PND and many are in denial. The thing I want to do is to create awareness of this, that it is curable and that having PND does not make us less of a mother. In fact,it may be the opp for me 'cos it was because I was so gan cheong abt everything that my mind cannot shut off and with all the other complications, my insomnia was chronic - 7 hours of sleep in a total of 3 days. It was BAD BAD BAD! Now u know what I mean when I say I do not wanna frighten all the other mummies /MTBs! LOL</font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">XY: ya, payback was a bitch man! my goodness... dunno if I ever will be brave enuff to have #2.

rebec: ohhhhh... u had a brush with PND as well? am also a christian - catholic. my priest was also around to help. but for my case, it is an innate trait, am a freaking perfectionist so i gave myself so much pressure - had to be there for everything and i just could like let someone help out /take care of cate. occupational hazard as well 'cos i used to leave my own marketing section where ad copy has to be perfect, no typo, events had to have contingency plans, etc.

but yes, having faith helps because these days, i am able to let go a bit more (though it is still so hard to leave Cate in the morning and I am also paranoid abt her being closer to my helper than me!) for u girls who are working and have helpers, do u feel the same stress / have the same worries too? that BB will choose helpers over us?</font>
 
<font color="#C24641"> Buffy
no la.. not frightening la..
for me, i actually fill the baby tub with water n throw Nicholas into the water! i dun hve the "i wan" or "i wish" thinkin. i just DO IT!! n i did it twice. which makes me feel so guilty. even until today. </font>
 
buffy
Though I hardly participate in this forum previously because I couldn't catch up with this thread at work, I am a regular now.

Anyway, all I can say is that most of us have had some kind of depression or sorts here. But I guess you must have it quite bad. In any case, it's good that now in happier times, we now can look back and think about our experience. Yay we survived!
 
<font color="aa00aa">wah, rebec, thanks for sharing man. i really feel v bad that i was this psycho chick for wanting to do that to Cate esp when she is so lovely. i really dunno what happened, just that i went kaput and well, just fell into depression lor. my hormones were truly raging lah 'cos i was so PMS and the HOT HOT FLUSHES!!!! wah biang, if menopause is gonna be like that, I will DIE man... but truly,these days, am a bit more relax 'cos ai yah, it is all in God's plans. I trust that He knows best and He will continue to watch over us and bless us.
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<font color="#C24641"> Buffy
i hve the same feelin n worries as u too. last time i start work whn Nicholas is 5mth old. i keep telling my hubby that i dun wan my Nicholas to be too close with his mother. n i dun like it whn my MIL carry Nicholas. keep asking huby to bring him back. keep telling hubby i dun like everybody. include myself n Nicholas. </font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">ya, most will hv some sort of blues. heng, I was only at stage 2: depression and not the last stage psychosis... But yes, we survived and are all enjoying our BBs so much more!
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Oh,anyone still carrying the extra weight from pregnancy? Sigh... I still hv 7kg to lose 'cos the stupid anti depressants made me put on 1 KG / week! We should encourage each other man...</font>
 
<font color="#C24641"> Buffy
i even try to suffocate him with my pillow. i did it twice again!! see how bad i am...
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yeah!! God is always the best n he will not lead us into a temptation that is over our limits. sometimes we might feel that God left us alone. but actually He's not. all we need to do is pray n seek him. he will sure ans our prayers.
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<font color="#C24641"> Buffy
u look slim in FM leh... wat is ur weight now? mine easy to get rid coz i need to look aft 3 kids!!! </font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">rebec: sweetie, u are not bad; i guess we were really not ourselves then. and yes, i am hating gg to work esp when i hv been SAHM for 6 months and am finally used to having Cate around. Sigh... the woes of being a mum - to work or not to work???!!!???

Anyhow, will stick out in this new job for 3 months and see how it is. new envt, new colls and the strangest thing is that this new place? the staff do not talk to each other. the office is like DEAD quiet and they dun even lunch together! So, my only reprieve is lunch time yoga class lor! LOL</font>
 
depression
Speaking of which, I did cry and think at the same time, of throwing my girl down, and the consequences if I jumped after her. Wahaha. Those were the times, eh.
 
<font color="aa00aa">rebec:ai yah, before i went on the anti depressants, i hv always been stick thin. I think I was 47kg when I was 6 weeks preggie? Now, am 54. Cannot fit into any of my pants, etc. My profile pic and that album was taken when I was 16 weeks preggie... So u see what I mean when it is a rude shock that I hv 7kg to lose... Sigh... Heng, I love to exercise so I hope it will all melt off fast. But *ahem* I love food even more lor! LOL... Just that prior to having PND, my metabolic rate has always been super high, hv never gone past 47 and have maintained at that weight for like 10 years? So, I need to work out a lot harder lor which means Yoga everyday during lunch for me - Hot Hour, Hot Flow and Power Class lor! *cry*</font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">karen, wah, I seem to have opened a can of worms here man...:p

dimpletot: eh babe, I dun hv golden handshake hor! I only got like 0.5 months for every year of service niah! called MOM but found out there is no "standard"; its up to company to give. and best, my bonus was pro-rated because in my boss's words, i was "not contributing to the company". KNS... And to think I worked like a dog for him and till 11+pm even when I was 8+ months preggie.</font>
 
busybee,
i wana get the sanitizer too!.. i use dettol most of the time as well.. maybe we should consolidate orders here to see if we can get cheaper? i dont mind buying to stock up.. anyone else keen?

swine flu,
im bummed too.. am supposed to travel to bkk end may and perth end july.. now.. duno if i have to cancel both trips..
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*fingers crossed* that the authorities can put this under control..
 
<font color="#C24641"> Buffy
huh? ur work place so boring de ar? dun talk to each other?. funny company.

ya.. i heard frm alot of ppl that those anti-depressants will make the patients put on weight. haha.. love food more.. of coz la... den alot of temptin leh... hehe... ur pre-preggie weight is the same as mine lor. but mine is add on 1kg more.
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now i weigh 51kg..</font>
 
Vanilla,
thanks!!

Buffy,
BABE!!! i missed u too lor!! ur new workplace is raffles plc ah!! tats nice!! can always go for ur yoga now!!! mine is at alexandra... sigh... honestly i hate the location leh.. hahahaa...

pildough,
u made me gian on the sunnies and the hats!!! i've been wanting to buy sunnies for Kieran for the longest time... hahaha... i've pm-ed kylie already!! wahahahaha
 
Helloo mummies!!

Buffy- Glad to see u here again!! Hope everything is doing well for u now.. ;)

pildough- Yalor me too, make me soo gian on those sunnies and hats!! Sooo cute!! ;D

kylie- Let me know if u ordering or conducting a BP k..I wanna order hats too!! ;p
 
Pildough/kylie=sunglasses/hats

thanks. i'm quite with the 2 kids lately. lol
let me know when the stuffs are in. i just bought a pair of sunglass and swimming goggles for ey. she likes them very much.
 
hi buffy - understand how u feel then, me went thru it..went to see psycharist and was ordered to be on antidepres..my PD say if i ate them i cannot BF, my son was so sick and i need him to drink my bf, my psycharist worried that i kill myself keep telling me to eat...i thot of jumping down the bldg w bb many times...thot of leaving home...my gynae told me it is common to have PND - 3 out of 10, he said he wld be surprised if i dun have it cos of my son's illness...in the end i didnt eat the med, i went see pscyhologist, spend tons of $ on counselling and went to my mum's plc and felt relax much more...

thinking back, it was such a bad time, but thank God He was there for me.
 
kylie
the sunhats are so nice! Any oct mum price to PM? Thanks!

Buffy
wah yr employer really KNS. But if I quit I get zero. Under that plan I'll get 3 months byebye gift. Oh well. Money isn't everything.
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hi buffy,
great to hv u back!!! glad that everything is ok for you now!

mummies,
i am gog to fall sick! argh..having sore throat..
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<font color="aa00aa">Today my gal xiao le! Usually she would wake up at 7-7.30am to drink but this morning she woke up at 5.30am to drink. I was so tired until I din hear her cries. Luckily hubby woke up to feed her! </font>
 
thanks mummies! i had a few rounds of water parade yest liao..
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kylie, can pm me the price? I am keen on the hat with the flower! haha
 
<font color="0077aa">good morning mummies

Trace
drink some warm honey water its help

mousebb
my gal 2days liao also wake up at 5plus, when she awake she nvr cry de.. then ll play on her cot look at me. i only noe she was awake when my alarm ring (pumping time). after drink ll fall sleep again </font>
 
Morning mummies..

Trace,
Drink more water ya.. rest more too.. drink so "phi pha Kao" to sooth yr throat..

mousebb,
my boy keep waking up for milk at 5am too.. so decided to give him 180ml of milk on last feed..
 
mousebb, Tweety,
My boy has been waking up at 11pm for milk for the past few nights though he was given 2tbsp rice cereal + 1 ounce green pea puree + latch on bm at about 7pm and slept at about 8.30pm...it's ok if he just wake up once but problem is he wakes up at 11pm, 1+am and 3+am...makes me so frustrated from lack of sleep...
 
elch,
did u monitor his drinking pattern in the day?? I notice that my boy will asking for milk earlier than normal time gap, so i think he don get enough..

Or u can try to give water when he wake up instead of milk.. My boy still wake up frequently for water in the mid of sleep wor..
 

<font color="aa00aa">bbgoh
My gal also went back to sleep after she drank. Think she is happy that she wakes daddy up!

Tweety
I tried before to increase the amount of milk at her last feed of the day but she cannot finish. A few times le. In order not to waste my precious bm, I only give her 160ml. Most of the time she only drinks about 120-130ml nia.

elch
Wow! Your boy still wake up so many times for night feed! Poor mummy! Maybe you can give him cereal in the evening and see if this helps.</font>
 
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