michelletan
Active Member
shoo-ing away all the greyness for doggiebb and bbp!
(2008/07) July 2008
- Thread starter cherylkjh
- Start date
michelle,
why not take the bull by the horns and call the old school to tell them eboy is not coming tmr or ever again, i m withdrawing him fm school.....
C1 is back in school already. but dun think you can just pop in... hey, idea, you try to pop in and see if the teachers/principal stop you. test how good their security really is. keke.
ok ostrich-bbp
shoo shoo greyness!
today i went on lunch date w Mr C, and we discovered a new italian place (just around your corner, michelle!). food is good and ambience v nice too. so today my mood is better.
why not take the bull by the horns and call the old school to tell them eboy is not coming tmr or ever again, i m withdrawing him fm school.....
C1 is back in school already. but dun think you can just pop in... hey, idea, you try to pop in and see if the teachers/principal stop you. test how good their security really is. keke.
ok ostrich-bbp
shoo shoo greyness!
today i went on lunch date w Mr C, and we discovered a new italian place (just around your corner, michelle!). food is good and ambience v nice too. so today my mood is better.
michelletan
Active Member
really? whats the name? I'm a big fan of italian!!!!
btw, what time does C1 reach school/return from school?
ya, already smsed the principal. now waiting for her to call back, she say 6pm, so now i wait...
btw, what time does C1 reach school/return from school?
ya, already smsed the principal. now waiting for her to call back, she say 6pm, so now i wait...
michelletan
Active Member
ahem, practicin my speech. sorry Ms J, I've decided to pull eboy out from preschool. *oh why? he's finally settled down*... uhm... do i tell her the truth???? 15 more minutes to think think think!!!
michelletan
Active Member
just spoke to the school and ya, no need to say much, they just needed to know why, and i said about their compound, then ok le. the teacher was awfully nice, now i'm a tad sad... but hey i'm doing this for eboy so its ok, its ok its ok....
WHERE IS EVERYBODYYYYYYY
WHERE IS EVERYBODYYYYYYY
hi mummies... I'm dead tired.. physically n mentally...
bbG was fine with school last week.. this week he kept crying badly and today was worse when it was me who brought him.. woke up and told me he didn't wanna go school liao.. didn't wanna put on uniform.. and when we reached.. he dragged me away saying: let's go home.. i dun wanna go (to) school.. started crying and had to be pried out of my arms screaming and cryin... and the crying: I WANT MUMMY I WANT MUMMY went on non stop for a whole hour... yes i was standing outside the door with ears glued to door, heart crushed and tears falling.. when i went back to get him at 11am.. he was fine.. but before bed just now.. he told me again that he doesn't wanna go to school... sigh.. how?
prob no 2: just sent my helper back to myanmar in 24 hours.. zapped of energy and feeling sad too..
anyway.. here's some catching up comments:
LOL to dor's conversation with hb..
good idea about 'not thinking of anything' when we are furious.. i must try next time!
how was royce and gelare (droolz.. trying to act young by spelling like dat haha)? thought I could join u girls.. but see lah.. all the drama kept me away..
batgirl: i can so imagine wuffy's round eyes staring hehehe!
wah LONG vacation in HK SD? hope emma's better now
i think school is making our kiddos hungry? bbG finishes his lunch in a jiffy now!
anyone looking for 2nd hand furniture? sis is moving house n got lots to sell! let me know
back to work tomorrow.. hope my little one will not cry his eyes out haha
ciao!
bbG was fine with school last week.. this week he kept crying badly and today was worse when it was me who brought him.. woke up and told me he didn't wanna go school liao.. didn't wanna put on uniform.. and when we reached.. he dragged me away saying: let's go home.. i dun wanna go (to) school.. started crying and had to be pried out of my arms screaming and cryin... and the crying: I WANT MUMMY I WANT MUMMY went on non stop for a whole hour... yes i was standing outside the door with ears glued to door, heart crushed and tears falling.. when i went back to get him at 11am.. he was fine.. but before bed just now.. he told me again that he doesn't wanna go to school... sigh.. how?
prob no 2: just sent my helper back to myanmar in 24 hours.. zapped of energy and feeling sad too..
anyway.. here's some catching up comments:
LOL to dor's conversation with hb..
good idea about 'not thinking of anything' when we are furious.. i must try next time!
how was royce and gelare (droolz.. trying to act young by spelling like dat haha)? thought I could join u girls.. but see lah.. all the drama kept me away..
batgirl: i can so imagine wuffy's round eyes staring hehehe!
wah LONG vacation in HK SD? hope emma's better now
i think school is making our kiddos hungry? bbG finishes his lunch in a jiffy now!
anyone looking for 2nd hand furniture? sis is moving house n got lots to sell! let me know
back to work tomorrow.. hope my little one will not cry his eyes out haha
ciao!
michelletan
Active Member
Same for eboy, wakes up say go Mah mah house. I showed him videos of the fun he had in school, and then make him pick out what to wear (which is the same Thomas shirt everyday), he'll be ok to go school.
Did you try recounting all the fun things in school over and over again? Maybe that helps.
Think mummies were saying it'll take a while before they make friends and enjoy going to school. They're coping with separation anxiety mah, so make the good byes short and sweet. Oh, one thing the teacher asked, was for me to push eboy to teacher, and not get the teacher to pull him from me cos that makes the child think teachers are bad, caused separation. I found this tip really useful.
Did you try recounting all the fun things in school over and over again? Maybe that helps.
Think mummies were saying it'll take a while before they make friends and enjoy going to school. They're coping with separation anxiety mah, so make the good byes short and sweet. Oh, one thing the teacher asked, was for me to push eboy to teacher, and not get the teacher to pull him from me cos that makes the child think teachers are bad, caused separation. I found this tip really useful.
I did tell him all about the fun things he did, but he kept repeating he didnt wanna go..maybe it's best that my mil is sending him n not me.. I felt like I was abandoning him in the arms of evil teachers n turning a deaf ears to his plead for me to rescue him
Will give mil the tip of nudging him in, instead of being plucked away by teachers..
Going to work late with a heavy heart
Will give mil the tip of nudging him in, instead of being plucked away by teachers..
Going to work late with a heavy heart
michelletan
Active Member
Some days got mood one loh.,. Ytday eboy walked in happily... Today cry... Can tell he's not in a good mood this morning on way to school... Din even want to say goodbye to PA PA today... Sigh, kiddos going to school is hard for everyone!!!
I bring him in at 830, and will sit around in school wait till 12... Hopefully once I'm ready ( ya, not eboy), I'll try to really leave the school. Ha ha...
Anyone wants to meet up with eboy this afternoon, 4-ish???if not, maybe we go Royce today...
I bring him in at 830, and will sit around in school wait till 12... Hopefully once I'm ready ( ya, not eboy), I'll try to really leave the school. Ha ha...
Anyone wants to meet up with eboy this afternoon, 4-ish???if not, maybe we go Royce today...
michelletan
Active Member
There's this boy in eboy's class, cries non stop the moment the parents leave until the end of class, one teacher got to carry him throughout even when she's conducting lessons... So poor thing...
bluebearypie
Active Member
dd,
Yah, our kiddos have their moods. And tiredness also plays a part. The more tired they are, the crankier they are, the less they want to go to school. On our part, we continue to psycho Declan everyday that school is fun, then when the sky is bright at 7am, he must wake up and go to school. So far it has worked...
Mich,
830-12? What do you do there? I sit from 8-9ish and I was already bored to tears.
Yah, our kiddos have their moods. And tiredness also plays a part. The more tired they are, the crankier they are, the less they want to go to school. On our part, we continue to psycho Declan everyday that school is fun, then when the sky is bright at 7am, he must wake up and go to school. So far it has worked...
Mich,
830-12? What do you do there? I sit from 8-9ish and I was already bored to tears.
bluebearypie
Active Member
Quick question:
What play gyms are there in the East? I need to go to the east tomorrow and I figured I should just take the chance to let Dec have a go at it. Anybody wants to go tomorrow?
What play gyms are there in the East? I need to go to the east tomorrow and I figured I should just take the chance to let Dec have a go at it. Anybody wants to go tomorrow?
michelletan
Active Member
There's peek a boo and polliwogs! I can join you Tmr! SMS me the time!!
I secretly video tape him in class (oh how I like glass windows!), I surf, I chat with friends...I go school kitchen and drink kopi with auntie... But yes, very bored... Tmr I'm thinking I should go home instead.....
I secretly video tape him in class (oh how I like glass windows!), I surf, I chat with friends...I go school kitchen and drink kopi with auntie... But yes, very bored... Tmr I'm thinking I should go home instead.....
heavy thots for a wed morning
a friend sent me this link in a FB message.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
(such a PR bait title to get one hooked into reading the article, then buying the book)
in the flurry of comments that follow.... this one best sums up what i feel abt parenting, chinese style, indian style, malay style or western style
Have high expectations for your children and push them to achieve them.
But never make your love for them dependent on the outcome.
a friend sent me this link in a FB message.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
(such a PR bait title to get one hooked into reading the article, then buying the book)
in the flurry of comments that follow.... this one best sums up what i feel abt parenting, chinese style, indian style, malay style or western style
Have high expectations for your children and push them to achieve them.
But never make your love for them dependent on the outcome.
bluebearypie
Active Member
PB,
Thought peekaboo is more accessible? It's just next to Stadium MRT station right?
Thought peekaboo is more accessible? It's just next to Stadium MRT station right?
Sheesh cellow. after reading the part about what her kids were not allowed to do, i wondered if i should continue reading at all. my fav part is when she tells her husband "sure, i can do this by myself. i'm prepared to be the hated one, and you can still make them pancakes and be the one they adore". gulp.
brilliant article. i'm glad i read through it
brilliant article. i'm glad i read through it
1stlittlestar
Active Member
Sigh .. xun gal is behaving like she has never attended school before. Today is the third day in her new school and she does not allow hubby to be out of her sight at all. I really wonder how things will be on Friday when she has to take a school bus to school herself (together with my niece)... ... dreading that day man.
In contrast, my niece is acting as if there is no difference in school or at home or anywhere. She will just stand and pay attention to the teacher, oblivious whether the parents are around. She will follow all instructions and when its time to go home, pick up her bag and leave the class, wait for someone to pick her up.
What a big contrast!
In contrast, my niece is acting as if there is no difference in school or at home or anywhere. She will just stand and pay attention to the teacher, oblivious whether the parents are around. She will follow all instructions and when its time to go home, pick up her bag and leave the class, wait for someone to pick her up.
What a big contrast!
We may be Royce-ing today
Doggiebb
The brand new school bus that our kids are in has seat belts! And they use them! Phew and yay!
*wipes sweat off forehead*
DD
Aiyoh what happened with your helper? Did BbG tell you why he does not want to go to school? Is he bored 'cos everything is too elementary for him? 'Cos your boy is so smart leh!
Michelle
Wow, you stay throughout?! Why not go for brekkie with the other mamas? I bring a book when waiting for the school bus.
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
Read this a couple of days ago, and thought to each her own. I actually found it touchingly honest and quite hilarious, and thought that she was very brave to open herself up to the kind of responses that she has received, probably knowing what they would be like. The thing is, what do her daughters think of the way they were brought up?
Doggiebb
The brand new school bus that our kids are in has seat belts! And they use them! Phew and yay!
DD
Aiyoh what happened with your helper? Did BbG tell you why he does not want to go to school? Is he bored 'cos everything is too elementary for him? 'Cos your boy is so smart leh!
Michelle
Wow, you stay throughout?! Why not go for brekkie with the other mamas? I bring a book when waiting for the school bus.
Why Chinese Mothers are Superior
Read this a couple of days ago, and thought to each her own. I actually found it touchingly honest and quite hilarious, and thought that she was very brave to open herself up to the kind of responses that she has received, probably knowing what they would be like. The thing is, what do her daughters think of the way they were brought up?
dd,
your own decision? to send the helper home, i mean.
jacelyn,
alamak. but tis only 3rd day so just monitor....?
PB,
it made me think very hard for a while.
and i dun normally think VERY hard.
for this reason alone, tis a brilliant article.
[havent come to any conclusions on the thinking yet]
youpi,
ah, dunno why suddenly so popular, this article.
the author ignited a whole range of responses. all touchingly honest, and one poignant one abt the person's sister's suicide.
i share your sentiment that regardless of style of parenting, the most impt is those affected - her children.
Royce
must sign up for membership? how much is it per entry?
your own decision? to send the helper home, i mean.
jacelyn,
alamak. but tis only 3rd day so just monitor....?
PB,
it made me think very hard for a while.
and i dun normally think VERY hard.
for this reason alone, tis a brilliant article.
[havent come to any conclusions on the thinking yet]
youpi,
ah, dunno why suddenly so popular, this article.
i share your sentiment that regardless of style of parenting, the most impt is those affected - her children.
Royce
must sign up for membership? how much is it per entry?
Youpi/Cellow
Yes I'm also wondering what her daughters' thoughts are. One of the photo captions got my laughing. "mean me and Lulu practicing with scores taped to TV".
Sigh big big rain.
Tossing a question in the air: SAHMs, do you ever find yourself in a situation where you've cooked a beautiful nutritious meal for your kiddo, and neglected to think of your own? Silly me has prepared a lovely veg pasta soup for poppy's DINNER but have not even thought about my own LUNCH! Silly Billy me!
Yes I'm also wondering what her daughters' thoughts are. One of the photo captions got my laughing. "mean me and Lulu practicing with scores taped to TV".
Sigh big big rain.
Tossing a question in the air: SAHMs, do you ever find yourself in a situation where you've cooked a beautiful nutritious meal for your kiddo, and neglected to think of your own? Silly me has prepared a lovely veg pasta soup for poppy's DINNER but have not even thought about my own LUNCH! Silly Billy me!
bluebearypie
Active Member
Irrelevant point:
I think my son is starting to tune me out...
Cellow,
Royce is $50 for annual membership and $12 per hour. http://www.roycekidsgym.com/images/news/funPlay2010.jpg
PB,
Umm, no, cos umm, I don't, umm, cook for Declan nor myself anymore. *hides*
But I have postponed lunch (wasn't hungry at that point) and then only realised I didn't have lunch when I got hungry at 4pm.
I think my son is starting to tune me out...
Cellow,
Royce is $50 for annual membership and $12 per hour. http://www.roycekidsgym.com/images/news/funPlay2010.jpg
PB,
Umm, no, cos umm, I don't, umm, cook for Declan nor myself anymore. *hides*
But I have postponed lunch (wasn't hungry at that point) and then only realised I didn't have lunch when I got hungry at 4pm.
PB,
re your qn in the air. i would forget abt my own food and only cook C1's if i were alone. BUT there is always Mr C, whose mere presence reminds me that the adults need to eat too.
.... i find myself running out of ideas on what to cook.... i m sooooo bored with my own combis of food.
michelle,
yay to going home tmr! you havent actually enjoyed any SAHM days yet ya, w the commotion re eboy's schools.
re your qn in the air. i would forget abt my own food and only cook C1's if i were alone. BUT there is always Mr C, whose mere presence reminds me that the adults need to eat too.
.... i find myself running out of ideas on what to cook.... i m sooooo bored with my own combis of food.
michelle,
yay to going home tmr! you havent actually enjoyed any SAHM days yet ya, w the commotion re eboy's schools.
sdchick
Active Member
PB
Hmm I rarely cook now but if I were to cook for Emma I will cook bigger portion so she, ashley and myself can eat them too hehe.
We only cook soft rice specially for her but she will eat our food and soups.
Cellow
I like the article but I don't agree with her 100%. There are just things that you can't force to your child imo. Anyways I do agree with her on the mom being the evil one.
Hmm I rarely cook now but if I were to cook for Emma I will cook bigger portion so she, ashley and myself can eat them too hehe.
We only cook soft rice specially for her but she will eat our food and soups.
Cellow
I like the article but I don't agree with her 100%. There are just things that you can't force to your child imo. Anyways I do agree with her on the mom being the evil one.
dusty_gecko
Member
chinese mums being superior
it depends on how much the scary mum reminds the children of how much she loves them isn't it? children don't know such things. she only talked about how she screams at them and stuff, but doesn't elaborate on how she shows her love otherwise.
i have a friend who screams at her children very much. but when you ask them "do you love papa or mama more?" they will always say, without fail, "mama. coz mama loves me most, even when she's scolding me"
it depends on how much the scary mum reminds the children of how much she loves them isn't it? children don't know such things. she only talked about how she screams at them and stuff, but doesn't elaborate on how she shows her love otherwise.
i have a friend who screams at her children very much. but when you ask them "do you love papa or mama more?" they will always say, without fail, "mama. coz mama loves me most, even when she's scolding me"
dusty_gecko
Member
PB
just a curious question. do ppl ever ask you if you are considered a SAHM when poppy actually goes to cc and then you actually free-lance?
coz there's a WAHM, and i thought mb that is more like you!
just a curious question. do ppl ever ask you if you are considered a SAHM when poppy actually goes to cc and then you actually free-lance?
coz there's a WAHM, and i thought mb that is more like you!
oops - sorry perhaps i should clarify that poppy eats our food most of the time. just that sometimes i cook special stuff (ie stuff i don't really want to eat. ie highly nutritious but too baby looking / non appetizing for me haha) for her. THAT's when i tend to forget about my own meals.
SDchick
what is soft rice?
dustee
wow. amazing, your friend's kids! i would have thought it'd be the other way 'round!
SAHM/WAHM
er i don't really think i can consider myself a SAHM. for the main reason that poppy is at playschool for a big part of the day! like 930am to 430pm most days. so am i a mum that stays home? yes i guess. do i always work at home? nah! (sometimes at coffee bean).
i don't know what category of mum i fall under so it's easier to just say "I freelance, so i have a flexi schedule and can spend lots of time with poppy. i send her to playschool and then usually spend that time working. she gets to be with people her age and drive other adults crazy, while i get to maintain my sanity"
SDchick
what is soft rice?
dustee
wow. amazing, your friend's kids! i would have thought it'd be the other way 'round!
SAHM/WAHM
er i don't really think i can consider myself a SAHM. for the main reason that poppy is at playschool for a big part of the day! like 930am to 430pm most days. so am i a mum that stays home? yes i guess. do i always work at home? nah! (sometimes at coffee bean).
i don't know what category of mum i fall under so it's easier to just say "I freelance, so i have a flexi schedule and can spend lots of time with poppy. i send her to playschool and then usually spend that time working. she gets to be with people her age and drive other adults crazy, while i get to maintain my sanity"
michelletan
Active Member
What a lousy evening I had. Went mil house for dinner and eboy kept whining mummy mummy mummy for everything. Somehow that irks them and kept repeating that he has become naughty, recently. ( clearly insinuating cos he's spending time with me he's more naughty cos they said that many times). At one stage mil even sat there angry with eboy being whiny without eboy knowing why and that got me. I was hurt, I was angry, I was sad. Who would want their son to be spoilt. Come on, eboy can't even speak yet and the only comms he has is to call out mummy. Yes he's sticky to me, yes you may think I'm too soft, yes you may think he's getting naughtier, but that's no way to behave when I send my son over for you to bond, and you spend it ignoring him/ watch tv and claim he's naughty?
Hubby made the same remark that eboy was very whiny with me around. I was very very upset.
Mil took out the cane. I felt betrayed. I felt they gang up against me.
On way back, eboy was throwing tantrum again and was sitting outside the lift, throwing his shoes away and refuse to come with us because we din give in. I lost it. Screamed loudly, never before, spanked his hands, forced shoes back on him, forced carried him all the way to the car, and left him sitting alone in the car seat behind while we were driving home. He knew I was really angry so he kept quiet.
I'm still angry ( with dunno who dunno what) but I guess I'm just not cut out to be a great mom who can mother a 2.5 yo to behave when you ask him to, and not cry when he's not given in to. Sucks!
Hubby made the same remark that eboy was very whiny with me around. I was very very upset.
Mil took out the cane. I felt betrayed. I felt they gang up against me.
On way back, eboy was throwing tantrum again and was sitting outside the lift, throwing his shoes away and refuse to come with us because we din give in. I lost it. Screamed loudly, never before, spanked his hands, forced shoes back on him, forced carried him all the way to the car, and left him sitting alone in the car seat behind while we were driving home. He knew I was really angry so he kept quiet.
I'm still angry ( with dunno who dunno what) but I guess I'm just not cut out to be a great mom who can mother a 2.5 yo to behave when you ask him to, and not cry when he's not given in to. Sucks!
crystal.. your older boy is crying too? new school? could something bad have happened to him?
mich: wah.. you made me a little bit happier now that I know bbG is not the worst.. crying his eyes out.. (compared to the one in E-boy's class who cries throughout and needs to be carried haha)
managed to get bbG to say that he wants to go to school tomorrow and won't cry.. so fingers crossed
youpi: kept asking him why he didn't want to go to school but couldn't get a proper answer from him.. he just goes.. coz i want mummy or coz i love mummy so much and only want to be with mummy... (makes me melt and feel worse)
but actually I'm slightly irked at the teachers who sing out of tune and one speaks broken english... am I being too fussy? haha
as for the helper... sigh.. she's quite alright actually, but few days ago, she went to the kitchen and grabbed the big cleaver, wanting to chop her own hand off when caught stealing again! scary drama! got her a plane tix immediately.. and it ended amicably coz she confided and said she wanted to go home too, but was terrified i'd send her back to the agency initially coz apparently they beat her! sigh.. hope she starts afresh again back home n is happier there.. as for me.. sad yet relieved.. coz it wasn't easy with her around.. yet oh so convenient.. back to washing my own milk bottles and making my own bed now.. *lazy bones groaning*
wow.. to article in WSJ.. like youpi..wanna hear what her girls say and feel...
hey mich.. take a very very deep breath... like you just said.. there are good days and bad days.. people all have different views (me and hb also constantly disagreeing)..funny how your MIL gets angry at e-boy and sulks/ignores him though.. but don't take it to heart.. our little kiddo is a person of his own and cannot be remote controlled by us 100% the way we want him to be.. be firm and guide them to be good, but we can't force-bend them into the exact shape we like, like a piece of wire..
it's just a bad day for u.. sleep it away and tomorrow is a brand new day to start on the right footing ya? hugs for you too
mich: wah.. you made me a little bit happier now that I know bbG is not the worst.. crying his eyes out.. (compared to the one in E-boy's class who cries throughout and needs to be carried haha)
managed to get bbG to say that he wants to go to school tomorrow and won't cry.. so fingers crossed
youpi: kept asking him why he didn't want to go to school but couldn't get a proper answer from him.. he just goes.. coz i want mummy or coz i love mummy so much and only want to be with mummy... (makes me melt and feel worse)
but actually I'm slightly irked at the teachers who sing out of tune and one speaks broken english... am I being too fussy? haha
as for the helper... sigh.. she's quite alright actually, but few days ago, she went to the kitchen and grabbed the big cleaver, wanting to chop her own hand off when caught stealing again! scary drama! got her a plane tix immediately.. and it ended amicably coz she confided and said she wanted to go home too, but was terrified i'd send her back to the agency initially coz apparently they beat her! sigh.. hope she starts afresh again back home n is happier there.. as for me.. sad yet relieved.. coz it wasn't easy with her around.. yet oh so convenient.. back to washing my own milk bottles and making my own bed now.. *lazy bones groaning*
wow.. to article in WSJ.. like youpi..wanna hear what her girls say and feel...
hey mich.. take a very very deep breath... like you just said.. there are good days and bad days.. people all have different views (me and hb also constantly disagreeing)..funny how your MIL gets angry at e-boy and sulks/ignores him though.. but don't take it to heart.. our little kiddo is a person of his own and cannot be remote controlled by us 100% the way we want him to be.. be firm and guide them to be good, but we can't force-bend them into the exact shape we like, like a piece of wire..
it's just a bad day for u.. sleep it away and tomorrow is a brand new day to start on the right footing ya? hugs for you too
oh michelle! hug hug hug! we all have these moments no matter how much time we spend with our kids.
cut yourself some slack ok? you've gone from spending a whole work day work of time away from eboy, to now spending every waking moment with him. both of you are re-adjusting to this, plus now there is school in the picture. maybe on one hand he's thinking 'wow! i get to spend so much time with mummy now!' and on the other hand, 'hey, why am i being shipped off to school?'. many changes for him too, so maybe he just doesn't know how else to react.
you've always shared a very good relationship with your MIL right? can you talk to her / get your hubby to tell her that disciplining eboy is only for you and hubby? i.e. MIL cannot cane!
cut yourself some slack ok? you've gone from spending a whole work day work of time away from eboy, to now spending every waking moment with him. both of you are re-adjusting to this, plus now there is school in the picture. maybe on one hand he's thinking 'wow! i get to spend so much time with mummy now!' and on the other hand, 'hey, why am i being shipped off to school?'. many changes for him too, so maybe he just doesn't know how else to react.
you've always shared a very good relationship with your MIL right? can you talk to her / get your hubby to tell her that disciplining eboy is only for you and hubby? i.e. MIL cannot cane!
sdchick
Active Member
Michelle
*pat pat* there are times when our kids are super whiny. Emma was sick and she was super whiny and it continues till now. very very annoying. she didn't want me, nor my mum, only want the helper. Didn't want to sleep, eat etc. well children gets to be sticky with the mummy - but I see nothing wrong in that. So don't be upset and just tell your MIL that he is probably a little overwhelmed with new experiences at school and just want comfort. Don't be so hard on yourself! It is very hard to get a 2-year old to behave. I'm sure it's just a phase. *hugs*
Emma is certainly not behaving!
During my brother's wedding in church recently, the pastor was talking and everybody was quiet until Emma saw the colorful glass windows on the ceiling and suddenly she said, mama - look there's a bird! we immediately ask her to keep quiet and guess what she talked even louder, demanding us to answer her. LOLS. I gave her my iphone (I turned off the sound) to play and be quiet and 1 minute later she talked loudly.. IPHONE NO SOUND!! hahaha what to do..
DD
one boy in Emma's class has been crying since the first day, throughout school time until the daddy picks him up.
Wow the drama with your helper!! Must be scarry. I'm so glad my helper now is good.
*pat pat* there are times when our kids are super whiny. Emma was sick and she was super whiny and it continues till now. very very annoying. she didn't want me, nor my mum, only want the helper. Didn't want to sleep, eat etc. well children gets to be sticky with the mummy - but I see nothing wrong in that. So don't be upset and just tell your MIL that he is probably a little overwhelmed with new experiences at school and just want comfort. Don't be so hard on yourself! It is very hard to get a 2-year old to behave. I'm sure it's just a phase. *hugs*
Emma is certainly not behaving!
During my brother's wedding in church recently, the pastor was talking and everybody was quiet until Emma saw the colorful glass windows on the ceiling and suddenly she said, mama - look there's a bird! we immediately ask her to keep quiet and guess what she talked even louder, demanding us to answer her. LOLS. I gave her my iphone (I turned off the sound) to play and be quiet and 1 minute later she talked loudly.. IPHONE NO SOUND!! hahaha what to do..
DD
one boy in Emma's class has been crying since the first day, throughout school time until the daddy picks him up.
Wow the drama with your helper!! Must be scarry. I'm so glad my helper now is good.
Crystal
Oh why did ur #1 suddenly dislike sch?? Was he like that last yr as well? There is this girl from my #1 N2 class last yr. This yr she has the same teachers in the same classroom, but she has been refusing to go sch n her mum has been accompanying her to the classroom. Last yr she was okie n I was the only parent who was still accompanying on 2nd day of sch with my son crying.
SD
Wah Emma's food has to be prepared in such a way huh. U put chicken stock to cook rice? It must taste sooo nice! I must try someday too......hehe
DD
Ur maid was scary......maybe she was purposely stealing so u will send her home.
Michelle
Dun be angry. I think old folks r like little kids too. N they are jealous cos Eboy is now closer to u n keeps calling for u all the time instead if them. Cos before u had to work n Eboy only had them ma so now maybe they can feel Eboy prefers u n acted that way.
Think everything got to u so u feel frustrated and nobody understands you and hw u feel. Sleep it off n tmr will be another good day.
If it makes u better, I smacked E's arm today too cos she kept playing with the silicone coster I specifically told them countless times not to. Smacked her arms, scolded her for touching it, left her sobbing in the kitchen and went off into the room to continue packing my cupboard.
Lucky she came to me sobbing " sorry mama" so I hugged her n reminded her never to touch it again. Else I dunno when she will stop crying.........haha
I'm going shopping!!!! Okie not supposed to spend but........taka additional 10% for card members! Hehe
Oh why did ur #1 suddenly dislike sch?? Was he like that last yr as well? There is this girl from my #1 N2 class last yr. This yr she has the same teachers in the same classroom, but she has been refusing to go sch n her mum has been accompanying her to the classroom. Last yr she was okie n I was the only parent who was still accompanying on 2nd day of sch with my son crying.
SD
Wah Emma's food has to be prepared in such a way huh. U put chicken stock to cook rice? It must taste sooo nice! I must try someday too......hehe
DD
Ur maid was scary......maybe she was purposely stealing so u will send her home.
Michelle
Dun be angry. I think old folks r like little kids too. N they are jealous cos Eboy is now closer to u n keeps calling for u all the time instead if them. Cos before u had to work n Eboy only had them ma so now maybe they can feel Eboy prefers u n acted that way.
Think everything got to u so u feel frustrated and nobody understands you and hw u feel. Sleep it off n tmr will be another good day.
If it makes u better, I smacked E's arm today too cos she kept playing with the silicone coster I specifically told them countless times not to. Smacked her arms, scolded her for touching it, left her sobbing in the kitchen and went off into the room to continue packing my cupboard.
Lucky she came to me sobbing " sorry mama" so I hugged her n reminded her never to touch it again. Else I dunno when she will stop crying.........haha
I'm going shopping!!!! Okie not supposed to spend but........taka additional 10% for card members! Hehe
morning all..
dd + dor - my boy din go N1 last yr.. he only just started sch this yr.. he cries at home real badly.. and can be every waking moment he is whining abt sch and sayinf sch is scary.. but apparently in sch, there aren't much tears.. urghz.. really hope he wil snap out of it soon
mich - i think all our kids are gg thru the whiny phase now? from wat i read.. most of our kids are starting to have many many patterns? so hang in there ya! today my #1's teacher told me tt he is probably havng trouble adjusting as he is 'used to having his own way and not used to routine'.. how nicely she phrased 'he's spoilt" and my #1 has been speaking really rudely and yelling at us! sigh.. cait is also especially whiny when i am ard and my ils also always comment tt they are harder to manage when hb and i are ard.. so i guess it's common? i agree with dor tt the old folks may be a tad jealous too.. like lil kids!
dd + dor - my boy din go N1 last yr.. he only just started sch this yr.. he cries at home real badly.. and can be every waking moment he is whining abt sch and sayinf sch is scary.. but apparently in sch, there aren't much tears.. urghz.. really hope he wil snap out of it soon
mich - i think all our kids are gg thru the whiny phase now? from wat i read.. most of our kids are starting to have many many patterns? so hang in there ya! today my #1's teacher told me tt he is probably havng trouble adjusting as he is 'used to having his own way and not used to routine'.. how nicely she phrased 'he's spoilt" and my #1 has been speaking really rudely and yelling at us! sigh.. cait is also especially whiny when i am ard and my ils also always comment tt they are harder to manage when hb and i are ard.. so i guess it's common? i agree with dor tt the old folks may be a tad jealous too.. like lil kids!
dusty_gecko
Member
mich
i agree with dor, it's grandparent-jealousy -_- but to bring out the cane, it is a bit much. i also don't think they should threaten to cane just coz they feel he's extra whiny/demanding/sticky than usual.
isn't it great e-boy gets his mum to himself for some time, and that he gets to be a 'baby' and whine to you and be sticky for a while? i mean, i'm an adult and i still whine to my mum and it's nice when my mum does something for me. why wouldn't a toddler want more of that?
i agree with dor, it's grandparent-jealousy -_- but to bring out the cane, it is a bit much. i also don't think they should threaten to cane just coz they feel he's extra whiny/demanding/sticky than usual.
isn't it great e-boy gets his mum to himself for some time, and that he gets to be a 'baby' and whine to you and be sticky for a while? i mean, i'm an adult and i still whine to my mum and it's nice when my mum does something for me. why wouldn't a toddler want more of that?
michelletan
Active Member
Last night my temper was very short. sleeping time eboy kept coming down from the bed and insisting i sit outside his room. i sat outside his room, he still kept coming down. After 3 warnings, he still din obey, i locked him in his room. He cried so badly, and i eventually went in to carry him to his bed. He lie there to cry, and eventually went to sleep. But woke every 15 min from 11.30pm crying till 12.30, then 2am, then 345 still crying, so i went in to carry him, sayang a little, then he slept till this morning, woke with a big smile..... I din sleep a wink and cried non-stop. I guess I have really failed as a mother.
after reading the article, it dawned onto me that perhaps I am really too soft on him and gave in too much. He has indeed become a very very whiny boy... nobody likes a whiny boy... I have stop giving myself excuses for his misbehaviour and time to whip out the disciplinarian in me...
This morning spoke to my MIL and she told me that eboy becoming so whiny is very unbearable for her thus she couldnt stand it last night. I told her that no matter how whiny a child is, he is afterall, OURS! how can we ignore him like that? she then say she felt I am way too soft and I have to be more stern. I told her ok, i will try, but I told her no matter how unbearable eboy is at times, she has to be there for him, i think at one stage i even asked if I shouldnt be bringing eboy over anymore since she cant stand him... anyway, PB is right to say I have good relationship with my MIL and we can talk things like this knowing we meant well for each other, so no hard feelings. I told her we will go pick eboy up together later. I also assured her, Mr Mich and myself that I will be more stern and not give in to eboy too much, less he really becoming very very whiny and naughty. This, i will try, and start to toughen my heart.
Still feeling lousy as a mother, but at least i could let it all out at her so I'm not as angry. Just still shitty feeling.
sigh.
after reading the article, it dawned onto me that perhaps I am really too soft on him and gave in too much. He has indeed become a very very whiny boy... nobody likes a whiny boy... I have stop giving myself excuses for his misbehaviour and time to whip out the disciplinarian in me...
This morning spoke to my MIL and she told me that eboy becoming so whiny is very unbearable for her thus she couldnt stand it last night. I told her that no matter how whiny a child is, he is afterall, OURS! how can we ignore him like that? she then say she felt I am way too soft and I have to be more stern. I told her ok, i will try, but I told her no matter how unbearable eboy is at times, she has to be there for him, i think at one stage i even asked if I shouldnt be bringing eboy over anymore since she cant stand him... anyway, PB is right to say I have good relationship with my MIL and we can talk things like this knowing we meant well for each other, so no hard feelings. I told her we will go pick eboy up together later. I also assured her, Mr Mich and myself that I will be more stern and not give in to eboy too much, less he really becoming very very whiny and naughty. This, i will try, and start to toughen my heart.
Still feeling lousy as a mother, but at least i could let it all out at her so I'm not as angry. Just still shitty feeling.
sigh.
michelletan
Active Member
Seeing him wake up crying non stop tears my heart apart. at that instant, you wish you could turn back the clock and set everything right.. but its too late.. heart shattered all over... being a harsh parent is harder on the parent than the kid, worse if I lost it momentarily and guilt welds up instantly...
I cried non stop and hubby kept saying, its not my fault, dun take it too hard, slowly teach. But i know he thinks its my fault. I know my MIL thinks its my fault. when the child misbehaves, its always the mother's fault (especially when the kid spends the whole day with the mother). I guess i also agree that its somehow my fault, but its just so painful to realise that its me that led eboy to behave like that.
I guess the good thing that will turn out from these events, is that I can change eboy before he turns into this big bad gangster that snatches things from shops and taking a chopper to chop everyone up. I still have a chance to turn him back into this mild mannered, cheerful, smily boy he used to be....
I cried non stop and hubby kept saying, its not my fault, dun take it too hard, slowly teach. But i know he thinks its my fault. I know my MIL thinks its my fault. when the child misbehaves, its always the mother's fault (especially when the kid spends the whole day with the mother). I guess i also agree that its somehow my fault, but its just so painful to realise that its me that led eboy to behave like that.
I guess the good thing that will turn out from these events, is that I can change eboy before he turns into this big bad gangster that snatches things from shops and taking a chopper to chop everyone up. I still have a chance to turn him back into this mild mannered, cheerful, smily boy he used to be....
bluebearypie
Active Member
Mich,
You're too hard on yourself now. Our kids are ALL misbehaving now. So it's not just you. They are definitely pushing their boundaries now.
Dec has been doing it everyday for the recent week as well. Tell him not to do something and he will still do it. Best, yesterday told him specifically not to draw on a plastic board that I was working on. As his marker went downwards, I went "Declan, don't draw on the board. Don't draw, I'm warning you." Guess what he did. His marker went down onto the board and he DOTTED the board and looked back at me. Yes, just ONE dot. Epitome of pushing the limits right?
Told hubby when he came back from work and he burst out laughing.
dustee,
Love that last line of yours. When you put it like that, it does make a whole lot of sense and perhaps I should ease off a little.
You're too hard on yourself now. Our kids are ALL misbehaving now. So it's not just you. They are definitely pushing their boundaries now.
Dec has been doing it everyday for the recent week as well. Tell him not to do something and he will still do it. Best, yesterday told him specifically not to draw on a plastic board that I was working on. As his marker went downwards, I went "Declan, don't draw on the board. Don't draw, I'm warning you." Guess what he did. His marker went down onto the board and he DOTTED the board and looked back at me. Yes, just ONE dot. Epitome of pushing the limits right?
Told hubby when he came back from work and he burst out laughing.
dustee,
Love that last line of yours. When you put it like that, it does make a whole lot of sense and perhaps I should ease off a little.
michelletan
Active Member
Yes, the kids are misbehaving, who doesnt. The differnece is how the parents react. You all punish. I rarely. I blame it on my patience. I have extremely good patience. I can just keep talking and talking to him not to do it not to do it. Even if he continue to do it, i choose the ignore approach, i dun even raise my voice. never. Somehow that has stopped working. Its time to PUNISH! you see the difference?
I AM A BAD MOTHER WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO DISCIPLINE HER CHILD!!!!!
慈母多败儿 - that is me!
I AM A BAD MOTHER WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO DISCIPLINE HER CHILD!!!!!
慈母多败儿 - that is me!
mich my dear
awww *hugs*
really, don't be too hard on yourself! which 2.5 year old kid won't misbehave? you will be worried already if he doesn't!
but yes, i agree with your 慈母多败儿 theory and i prescribe to the theory "spare the rod and spoil the child" and we do not tolerate prolonged misbehaviour in the house.
the kids get to sit at naughty corner, spanking by the cane on their palms when after given warnings, they continue to misbehave. and we will ignore all crying. after the punishment, we will explain and then they must say sorry and they won't do it again and then big hugs from the stern parents.
my issues perhaps are that the two of us are too fierce! so i need to check ourselves on that!
oh, just saw your new post. No, i don't think you are a bad mother, you were just using another parenting method. there are lots of parents who don't cane and are perfectly happy with what they are doing. its really what you think works and resonates with you. and also compatible with the personality of the child.
cheer up okie? (doesn't that sounds familiar? haha!)
grey skies
been feeling moody from work. stressful and demanding boss yet feeling un-motivated! really caught in a rut!
on a happier note! its 3 weeks to CNY!
awww *hugs*
really, don't be too hard on yourself! which 2.5 year old kid won't misbehave? you will be worried already if he doesn't!
but yes, i agree with your 慈母多败儿 theory and i prescribe to the theory "spare the rod and spoil the child" and we do not tolerate prolonged misbehaviour in the house.
the kids get to sit at naughty corner, spanking by the cane on their palms when after given warnings, they continue to misbehave. and we will ignore all crying. after the punishment, we will explain and then they must say sorry and they won't do it again and then big hugs from the stern parents.
my issues perhaps are that the two of us are too fierce! so i need to check ourselves on that!
oh, just saw your new post. No, i don't think you are a bad mother, you were just using another parenting method. there are lots of parents who don't cane and are perfectly happy with what they are doing. its really what you think works and resonates with you. and also compatible with the personality of the child.
cheer up okie? (doesn't that sounds familiar? haha!)
grey skies
been feeling moody from work. stressful and demanding boss yet feeling un-motivated! really caught in a rut!
on a happier note! its 3 weeks to CNY!
sdchick
Active Member
Michelle
Your style of parenting is exactly like mr SD. He is the angel to the kids cuz he never raised his voice and no punishment whatsoever. I'm not saying it isn't good. There are times where I wish I could be more patient with Emma but I raised my voice many many times. Patience is just not in my dictionary keke..but sometimes even if I punish, it doesn't work for Emma. Talking sometimes work. So I guess we need to balance the talking/patient part with the punishing part. So normally I do the punishing part and mr sd do the talking part. See he still wants to be the angel and I am the evil mom.
BBP
Lols Declan is trying out your patience to see how you react. So what did you do after he drew the dot?
Your style of parenting is exactly like mr SD. He is the angel to the kids cuz he never raised his voice and no punishment whatsoever. I'm not saying it isn't good. There are times where I wish I could be more patient with Emma but I raised my voice many many times. Patience is just not in my dictionary keke..but sometimes even if I punish, it doesn't work for Emma. Talking sometimes work. So I guess we need to balance the talking/patient part with the punishing part. So normally I do the punishing part and mr sd do the talking part. See he still wants to be the angel and I am the evil mom.
BBP
Lols Declan is trying out your patience to see how you react. So what did you do after he drew the dot?
bluebearypie
Active Member
Mich,
we are all learning and we all have our disapprovers. Others think you don't punish him enough. Hubby thinks I punish too much n he says eventually that may stop working too.
We all have to keep adjusting our methods, that's why parenting is so damn hard.
Grey skies:
me too me too. But I'm still being an ostritch.
we are all learning and we all have our disapprovers. Others think you don't punish him enough. Hubby thinks I punish too much n he says eventually that may stop working too.
We all have to keep adjusting our methods, that's why parenting is so damn hard.
Grey skies:
me too me too. But I'm still being an ostritch.
bluebearypie
Active Member
SD,
I told him to stretch out his hand for me to smack. He didn't want to, so I said "Stretch out your hand and I will only smack your hand. If I have to go over there and do it, I will smack your hand AND your backside." Amazingly, he gave his hand to me. Gave it a not-very-hard smack cos after all, it was just a dot. But I did ask him if he knew why I smacked his hand. And then conversation went:
"Do you know why Mama smack your hand?"
"I dunno" (His fave sentence of the moment)
"Don't say I dunno, think!" (My fave response of the moment... sometimes I say "You have a brain, use it!")
"Because Declan naughty"
"Yes, Declan was naughty, what did Declan do?"
"Declan draw"
So I guess he does understand to a certain extent.
And the struggles continue...
I told him to stretch out his hand for me to smack. He didn't want to, so I said "Stretch out your hand and I will only smack your hand. If I have to go over there and do it, I will smack your hand AND your backside." Amazingly, he gave his hand to me. Gave it a not-very-hard smack cos after all, it was just a dot. But I did ask him if he knew why I smacked his hand. And then conversation went:
"Do you know why Mama smack your hand?"
"I dunno" (His fave sentence of the moment)
"Don't say I dunno, think!" (My fave response of the moment... sometimes I say "You have a brain, use it!")
"Because Declan naughty"
"Yes, Declan was naughty, what did Declan do?"
"Declan draw"
So I guess he does understand to a certain extent.
And the struggles continue...
