(2008/06) June 2008
- Thread starter avoros
- Start date
feliciarosey
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">Oh...ladies, i was been 'torture' by my ger since this morning. Is more tiring than working in office. I think i'm not suitable to be a SAHM. haha....
Veniz,
Ur mil is really very clever , choosing not to take care of ur ger. You shld discuss with ur hubby on ur son's future like education, etc. For me, as my mil is not educated, therefore at least i can give excuses like enrol my ger to childcare for her to learn things, to be independant etc as both me and hubby both are working.
Another alternative is like wat u said, hired a maid, this shld be a very good reason for not letting ur kids been taken care by ur MIL.Tell ur hubby with maid, u can spend more time with ur kids.</font>
Veniz,
Ur mil is really very clever , choosing not to take care of ur ger. You shld discuss with ur hubby on ur son's future like education, etc. For me, as my mil is not educated, therefore at least i can give excuses like enrol my ger to childcare for her to learn things, to be independant etc as both me and hubby both are working.
Another alternative is like wat u said, hired a maid, this shld be a very good reason for not letting ur kids been taken care by ur MIL.Tell ur hubby with maid, u can spend more time with ur kids.</font>
veniz, its not easy to build a gd relationship with MIL. How about convince them tt u need to send son to cc for his good. Son can learn more in a structure environment. Improve lang, social skills etc. They may give in cos all grandparents dote on their grandchildren. My mo who is gg to take care of my bb also tell me tt i should send bb to CC after 1st 2 years at home.
feliciarosey
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">cactus, finally u r back here. We know u had a check up yesterday but din hear any news from u the whole yesterday.
So happy for you on all the good news! So, u r goin to climb staircase today? hehe...</font>
So happy for you on all the good news! So, u r goin to climb staircase today? hehe...</font>
Morning Ladies!
roooller,
i also want to hv the link to swensens, can email me pls:[email protected], thks so much
roooller,
i also want to hv the link to swensens, can email me pls:[email protected], thks so much
<font color="blue">morn ladies,
rooller..i also want the link to swensens leh..send to [email protected] can?? thks ah..
cactus,
wah..congrats on the gd news..
shycloud,
i will be using Friso lor..i think compared to similac it's cheaper..</font>
rooller..i also want the link to swensens leh..send to [email protected] can?? thks ah..
cactus,
wah..congrats on the gd news..
shycloud,
i will be using Friso lor..i think compared to similac it's cheaper..</font>
Bonjovi, I think some guys think it's better and safer for bbs to stay at home with grandparents cos less germs picked up and "cheaper" and grandparents will nag less. But studies have actually shown that for bbs, it's better to delay childcare sending especially if grandparnets can educate and stimulate the child. I'm divided about this though. at the moment, my dad and maid will look after our bb when born. not sure if I'd ultiamtely send our child to pre-nursery at 3years old or delay till 4 or 5..
Felicia, I didn't manage to log on the net.. cos went shopping in the afternoon and by the time got home.. too tired!! not going to climb staircase today.. goign back to my parents' home cos the weekend. I only climb staircase at my IL's place.
During the weekdays!
MOrraine, you can get cot bumpers from kiddy palace and even Ikea! But I came across an article saying cot bumpers are not safe for bb use... better to use firm bolsters to pad the sides.. not sure how true it is.I've not gotten them yet.
Felicia, I didn't manage to log on the net.. cos went shopping in the afternoon and by the time got home.. too tired!! not going to climb staircase today.. goign back to my parents' home cos the weekend. I only climb staircase at my IL's place.
MOrraine, you can get cot bumpers from kiddy palace and even Ikea! But I came across an article saying cot bumpers are not safe for bb use... better to use firm bolsters to pad the sides.. not sure how true it is.I've not gotten them yet.
teragram
Active Member
morning girls!
cactus,
glad to hear bb's doing ok!
veniz,
*hugz* hope u are feeling better today. seems like ur MIL is quite obsessed with ur boy, not nec a bad thing but to the extent of straining r/s between u and ur son, then it's not good liao. If possible, i think u shld listen to ur mum and explore the option of getting a maid to take care of both kids, provided ur hubby is supportive. Cos my 2 neices were taken care of by different caregivers and can really see the difference in their behaviour.
felicia,
let us know how your visit goes later. i just had my check-up this morning. did the CTG thingy - me not having contractions, hehe but bb's heartbeat was good plus amniotic fluid still got enough so gynae says to keep him inside for another 1-2 weeks (good for his lung maturity) and continue monitoring his wt gain. yay!
only not so good thing is bb has not put on much weight, he's at 2.5kg at 36 weeks.
bizz,
seems like the durians i ate did not help.
cactus,
glad to hear bb's doing ok!
veniz,
*hugz* hope u are feeling better today. seems like ur MIL is quite obsessed with ur boy, not nec a bad thing but to the extent of straining r/s between u and ur son, then it's not good liao. If possible, i think u shld listen to ur mum and explore the option of getting a maid to take care of both kids, provided ur hubby is supportive. Cos my 2 neices were taken care of by different caregivers and can really see the difference in their behaviour.
felicia,
let us know how your visit goes later. i just had my check-up this morning. did the CTG thingy - me not having contractions, hehe but bb's heartbeat was good plus amniotic fluid still got enough so gynae says to keep him inside for another 1-2 weeks (good for his lung maturity) and continue monitoring his wt gain. yay!
bizz,
seems like the durians i ate did not help.
On cot bumpers:
http://www.mothersbliss.com/babyyear/safe.asp
Cot
Use flame resistant bedding
Set the cot mattress to its lowest position before your child can stand himself up
Cut the strings on the cot bumper (if using one) short. It is not advisable to use cot bumpers for babies under one year
The gap between the mattress and the cot should not be more than 4 cms
Place the cot away from windows and radiators
Don't use pillows for children under one year
Only put small toys in the cot. Larger ones could be (mis)used for climbing out!
Ensure that the cot you buy conforms to the legal safety standard
http://www.mothersbliss.com/babyyear/safe.asp
Cot
Use flame resistant bedding
Set the cot mattress to its lowest position before your child can stand himself up
Cut the strings on the cot bumper (if using one) short. It is not advisable to use cot bumpers for babies under one year
The gap between the mattress and the cot should not be more than 4 cms
Place the cot away from windows and radiators
Don't use pillows for children under one year
Only put small toys in the cot. Larger ones could be (mis)used for climbing out!
Ensure that the cot you buy conforms to the legal safety standard
<font color="ff6000">cactus
kiddy palace ones not nice leh.. hee.. den ikea ones are real thin material.. erm for me i prefer bumper coz they can be tied to the sides so definitely u ask me.. its much safer den placing bolsters which can move abt and fall onto the bb.. </font>
kiddy palace ones not nice leh.. hee.. den ikea ones are real thin material.. erm for me i prefer bumper coz they can be tied to the sides so definitely u ask me.. its much safer den placing bolsters which can move abt and fall onto the bb.. </font>
ellysia
Active Member
Veniz,
Yr hb dun support u like tat is v difficult on u.
I suggest tat u try work on yr hb first. Trying to be firm with yr son but w/o the support of yr hb will be difficult.
Actually i tink u shd try send yr son to CC asap, before this situation become permanent when yr son grows older and entering Pri sch etc. Anyway it is also for his good if he go CC now, can learn better and to adapt easier to kindergarten etc.
Priscilla,
Did u feedback to yr hb abt such stuff? Some old folks have this old thinking that they must bully daughter in law cos this show they are in control, which is pricisely why she do it in front of u.
Yr hb dun support u like tat is v difficult on u.
I suggest tat u try work on yr hb first. Trying to be firm with yr son but w/o the support of yr hb will be difficult.
Actually i tink u shd try send yr son to CC asap, before this situation become permanent when yr son grows older and entering Pri sch etc. Anyway it is also for his good if he go CC now, can learn better and to adapt easier to kindergarten etc.
Priscilla,
Did u feedback to yr hb abt such stuff? Some old folks have this old thinking that they must bully daughter in law cos this show they are in control, which is pricisely why she do it in front of u.
Veniz
I wun say i have good relationship with my MIL, for me is she dun step on my shoes i dun step on hers. Everyday after work go home i will just go hiding into my bedroom and only come out for water or washing clothes. Otherwise i also wun go out chat with her cos i found that chatting with her only makes myself unhappy. I also hope hubby and me can move out and have our own house soon. Although this house was paid by my hubby and under his name but we have to leave the house for them to stay. And because of that we have to look for private property which is why we have to wait so long before getting our own place due to financing problem. I comfort myself that after give birth i am temporary moving back to my mum's place to stay only thing is i will be separated with my hubby.
I also told my hubby next time if i discipline my children my in-laws had better not interfere otherwise i also no give face. In terms of discipline i think my hubby should stand on my side cos i think he be more fierce than me in discipline. He always say so lah but girl i dunno he will 'lian xiang xi yu' or not.
Soyabean
hehe i just saying use slap to shut the MIL up so that she see already xin tong dun interfere anymore. I also dunno next time i can slap my kids or not cos i think my hubby will be the bad guy so i will have to be the good guy to balance up.
cactus
glad and happy for you that everything is fine now
I wun say i have good relationship with my MIL, for me is she dun step on my shoes i dun step on hers. Everyday after work go home i will just go hiding into my bedroom and only come out for water or washing clothes. Otherwise i also wun go out chat with her cos i found that chatting with her only makes myself unhappy. I also hope hubby and me can move out and have our own house soon. Although this house was paid by my hubby and under his name but we have to leave the house for them to stay. And because of that we have to look for private property which is why we have to wait so long before getting our own place due to financing problem. I comfort myself that after give birth i am temporary moving back to my mum's place to stay only thing is i will be separated with my hubby.
I also told my hubby next time if i discipline my children my in-laws had better not interfere otherwise i also no give face. In terms of discipline i think my hubby should stand on my side cos i think he be more fierce than me in discipline. He always say so lah but girl i dunno he will 'lian xiang xi yu' or not.
Soyabean
hehe i just saying use slap to shut the MIL up so that she see already xin tong dun interfere anymore. I also dunno next time i can slap my kids or not cos i think my hubby will be the bad guy so i will have to be the good guy to balance up.
cactus
glad and happy for you that everything is fine now
<font face="comic sans ms"><font color="27aafd">cactus... congrat.. ur bb is over 2.3kg liao....
veniz.. mil is a nv ending story.. me oso scared scared... hard to teach once the kids are being pampered.. it's takes 3 years to learn to be good and 3 days to be bad...</font></font>
veniz.. mil is a nv ending story.. me oso scared scared... hard to teach once the kids are being pampered.. it's takes 3 years to learn to be good and 3 days to be bad...</font></font>
Roooller,
I saw ice cream! I also want the link... pls sent to me @ [email protected]. Many thks!
I saw ice cream! I also want the link... pls sent to me @ [email protected]. Many thks!
ellysia
Active Member
On sending kid to CC once he reach 18mths old, i have ored discuss with my hb and he has agreed and ored told my MIL.
Cos my MIL complain of her leg pain and doubtful whether she can take care well or not.
So I take this chance and tell my hb tat we won't trouble her for too long bec' can send bb to CC once he reach 18mths old, then can learn a lot of innovative learning methods to pave the way to improve his studies in future.
Moreover my hb intend to have our bb to go SAP school hopefully like my hb, so i told him all the more we shd send bb to learn more things before bb go Pri school.
Of course i have my own selfish thinking cos i also dun want kid to be overly close with IL so that i can have more control on kid.. guess my hb can guess the same even when i didn't tell him.
But it is true tat CC can teach more things and most impt make kid more independent and more sociable.
So i cite the example of my brother who didn't attend any pre-school and has v little kids frens in his young days tat why become dependent on mother and sister(me) and tats not good for a boy devt.
Cos my MIL complain of her leg pain and doubtful whether she can take care well or not.
So I take this chance and tell my hb tat we won't trouble her for too long bec' can send bb to CC once he reach 18mths old, then can learn a lot of innovative learning methods to pave the way to improve his studies in future.
Moreover my hb intend to have our bb to go SAP school hopefully like my hb, so i told him all the more we shd send bb to learn more things before bb go Pri school.
Of course i have my own selfish thinking cos i also dun want kid to be overly close with IL so that i can have more control on kid.. guess my hb can guess the same even when i didn't tell him.
But it is true tat CC can teach more things and most impt make kid more independent and more sociable.
So i cite the example of my brother who didn't attend any pre-school and has v little kids frens in his young days tat why become dependent on mother and sister(me) and tats not good for a boy devt.
Felica, Tera, Ellysia,
Ya, my mil is a very clever person. I have been fighting to let him go CC for a few yrs but my hb believes my son will be like him, when grow up will know how to think, even though my mil never teach my son at home on some sch work. Talking to him is like playing trumpet to a cow.
I think best now is to tackle my MIL about her words to my son, not to phyco him by keep telling him to tell us this and that remarks. It is really very bad 'educating tool'. Then if he is getting from bad to worst at yr end, I will try again about going to CC thingy and be more firm, otherwise next time he goes Pri sch I will have big problem (They also want him to study in pri sch in Clementi, now I am having 2nd thoughts. Worst come to worst, I work PT and enrol him into nearby sch around my hse)
Ya, my mil is a very clever person. I have been fighting to let him go CC for a few yrs but my hb believes my son will be like him, when grow up will know how to think, even though my mil never teach my son at home on some sch work. Talking to him is like playing trumpet to a cow.
I think best now is to tackle my MIL about her words to my son, not to phyco him by keep telling him to tell us this and that remarks. It is really very bad 'educating tool'. Then if he is getting from bad to worst at yr end, I will try again about going to CC thingy and be more firm, otherwise next time he goes Pri sch I will have big problem (They also want him to study in pri sch in Clementi, now I am having 2nd thoughts. Worst come to worst, I work PT and enrol him into nearby sch around my hse)
<font face="comic sans ms"><font color="27aafd">roooler.. me 2 at [email protected] tks!!</font></font>
feliciarosey
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">cactus, i do agreed with you if grandparents can educate and stimulate the child, then we can delay sending the child to cc.
But life is never perfect. For me, i can consider my mil as a good mil and grandparent to my ger, but a pity she's not educated. I'm not looking down on her but she's not able to teach my ger the proper education. And i realised my ger will bully my mil instead. Plus some of my mil thinking, i'm not able to accept, maybe this is due to her family environment/ background. So, i cannot blame her, but i'm afraid my ger will be affected. So, is better for me to send my ger to cc since she's oredy 2 yrs plus.
Btw, from my experiences, not every grandparents is able to take care of small kids for long term. Another reason for me to send my ger to cc is oso, i found tat since my mil take care of my ger, she start to had quick temper and get irritated easily. Maybe too pressured in handling my super active ger. So, adjustment from time to time is needed when meet such scenario.</font>
But life is never perfect. For me, i can consider my mil as a good mil and grandparent to my ger, but a pity she's not educated. I'm not looking down on her but she's not able to teach my ger the proper education. And i realised my ger will bully my mil instead. Plus some of my mil thinking, i'm not able to accept, maybe this is due to her family environment/ background. So, i cannot blame her, but i'm afraid my ger will be affected. So, is better for me to send my ger to cc since she's oredy 2 yrs plus.
Btw, from my experiences, not every grandparents is able to take care of small kids for long term. Another reason for me to send my ger to cc is oso, i found tat since my mil take care of my ger, she start to had quick temper and get irritated easily. Maybe too pressured in handling my super active ger. So, adjustment from time to time is needed when meet such scenario.</font>
feliciarosey
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">Tera, sure will update when i'm back from gynae's visit. Provided my ger dont keep 'sticking' to me.
Just like now, when i'm typing she keep coming to me ask me to do this, do tat. aiyo...</font>
Just like now, when i'm typing she keep coming to me ask me to do this, do tat. aiyo...</font>
ellysia
Active Member
Felicia,
Ya agreed with wat u said.
Actually it is not with whether MIL is educated or not.
My FIL and MIL are both uni grads but MIL has not been working for many years so she tend to have superficial understanding of the working world and outside world, which hb also agree. Regardless whether MIL is educated or not, tats not the point.. but when people close to kid try to educate kid, it is always not as efficient as kid being educated by outside people.
Ya agreed with wat u said.
Actually it is not with whether MIL is educated or not.
My FIL and MIL are both uni grads but MIL has not been working for many years so she tend to have superficial understanding of the working world and outside world, which hb also agree. Regardless whether MIL is educated or not, tats not the point.. but when people close to kid try to educate kid, it is always not as efficient as kid being educated by outside people.
Gals, I believe that as long as our inlaws dun find problems with us and we dun step on their toes, keep out of each other ways if living together, ocassionally have small chats with them, it will be good lar. If they say unpleasant words, just one in one out from ears lar. But as in terms children let them take care, there will bound to be some issues.
Cactus, at least your dad is educated, so can teach your son in future. You can take a load off your mind on this.
Soya, you so good, be the good guy. I am the bad guy lor, so now everyone is angel to son and I am the devil whom he dared to say those words to me yesterday. Very sad....
Cactus, at least your dad is educated, so can teach your son in future. You can take a load off your mind on this.
Soya, you so good, be the good guy. I am the bad guy lor, so now everyone is angel to son and I am the devil whom he dared to say those words to me yesterday. Very sad....
Hi ladies...I am late today cos was bery tired...so slept later =)..
Ellysia,
now that ur bb has engaged hor, do u find him moving lesser now? cos this morning my bb hasn't move at all leh..no matter how i shake her wor..abit worried though..hiaz..
ZuEn,
wow, 3=am u woke up to pump milk? guess we all will be joining u soon =D.
Ellysia,
now that ur bb has engaged hor, do u find him moving lesser now? cos this morning my bb hasn't move at all leh..no matter how i shake her wor..abit worried though..hiaz..
ZuEn,
wow, 3=am u woke up to pump milk? guess we all will be joining u soon =D.
feliciarosey
Active Member
<font color="aa00aa">veniz, i am the bad guy oso!</font>
ellysia
Active Member
Veniz,
Remember i said in forum abt my grandma and my mum and stuff.
My grandma all along dun like my mum. When i was v young and taken care by my grandma and aunt, they will physco me with bad stuff abt my mum and even said my mum is bad etc.
Somehow i dun really like them (even when small but still have ability to differentiate). One day I told my mum about those incidents and my mum is shocked. But my mum didn't say bad things abt them. Instead she told me dun believe them and ignore their words.
Later my mum arrange for other arrangements and she took control over taking care of me. She didn't say bad things abt my grandma even though she bully her.. only when i am old enuff then my mum told me stuff.
I recalled this event yesterday and i think my mum does the right thing. Bec a kid is innocent and shouldn't be involved in adult rivlary and stuff. The best way is to counter yr MIL remarks and slowly find ways to take control of yr son and dun let yr MIL have chance to influence him. slowly u shd be able to correct yr son ways.
But it is best do this while yr son is still young, cos when he is old he may have ored form some preset ideas and may be hard to change them.
Remember i said in forum abt my grandma and my mum and stuff.
My grandma all along dun like my mum. When i was v young and taken care by my grandma and aunt, they will physco me with bad stuff abt my mum and even said my mum is bad etc.
Somehow i dun really like them (even when small but still have ability to differentiate). One day I told my mum about those incidents and my mum is shocked. But my mum didn't say bad things abt them. Instead she told me dun believe them and ignore their words.
Later my mum arrange for other arrangements and she took control over taking care of me. She didn't say bad things abt my grandma even though she bully her.. only when i am old enuff then my mum told me stuff.
I recalled this event yesterday and i think my mum does the right thing. Bec a kid is innocent and shouldn't be involved in adult rivlary and stuff. The best way is to counter yr MIL remarks and slowly find ways to take control of yr son and dun let yr MIL have chance to influence him. slowly u shd be able to correct yr son ways.
But it is best do this while yr son is still young, cos when he is old he may have ored form some preset ideas and may be hard to change them.
ellysia
Active Member
feifei,
Yes he move less.
Dun worry i find tat my bb sometimes move more in 1 day, another day less. Also nowadays he only move his legs more, other parts like hands etc are more restricted and no space so didn't move much.
As long as he got move within a day, shd be fine.
Yes he move less.
Dun worry i find tat my bb sometimes move more in 1 day, another day less. Also nowadays he only move his legs more, other parts like hands etc are more restricted and no space so didn't move much.
As long as he got move within a day, shd be fine.
