(2008/06) June 2008

Cactus : your boss is so understanding !!! and knocking off at 530 ?? suggest you stay there, cuz in-house is not all that great :p
alternatively, DPP hours are very good these days too, and yes pro- family too!!!

Pkdust : u'd be fine ! dont worry too much !!!

bfeeding : dont beat yourself up over it, but if you can spare the time and effort, it really benefits the child - my DD has never had a serious illness for the last 19 mths - is super chubby and healthy - attributed to mummy's milk !!
 


piyo - actually the department that I'm in is very family friendly... that's a good thing. We're the oddity of the firm. :p If possible, I plan to stay here till at least after maternity leave for #2 ends.

pkdust - High5!! Our first baby was made in Paris!!
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We flew to Paris the night after our wedding dinner. Stayed there for 2 weeks. Just Paris alone. So it's confirmed plus guaranteed that it is a Paris-made baby.
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On the point of letting boss know, I think you may want to let them know soon cos there's somethign in the law which requires us to let our employer know as soon as we know that we are pregnant. In practice, some women tell their boss only after end of 1st trimester.. cos can say "pantang"...in my case, I told my boss immediately when I found out.. but she only told the big boss after end of 1st trimester...

You must be very slim to continue wearing normal clothes!! I wore maternity pants from week 9 onwards. couldn't take it. but now still wearing normal tops. the loose type. I threw out all my G2000 shirts liao. can't button.
 
Veniz,
No problem for you to eat beef in front of me.I'm ok with it lah. So which restaurant u prefer?

I conceived my 2nd one exactly after 18mths of my c-sec. hehe... Actually some ppl advise me to wait till 2 yrs but i prefer fast fast close shop.
 
piyo,
Wow you are really amazing. Really go through all the trouble to bf at work.

Me not the slim type. But I wear those elastic skirts and loose tops so still can conceal. Because some maternity tops are too loose for me.
Was thinking of getting more of those sundress so I can still wear after giving birth. Just need to put on a jacket if I am at work.

Veniz,
Is C-section painful? My galfren took more than one month to fully recover. My first one is natural birth so the downtime is shorter.
 
pkdust,

for me, i take longer time to recover from my c-sec. But i had a collegue whom said no pain at all after her c-sec.
During my confinement i was suffering. I had to control my sneezing else the wound part will feel pain. Then my mom and mil forbid me from taking lot of food include seafood, chicken meat, eggs etc.
I still remember the day i discharge from hosp, i hardly can walk coz of pain.
 
Piyo : oh my goodness, dont remind me of my pumping days !!! the washing up was such a killer ! i think my hands were super dry from washing 3 times a day !!! :p heehee sorry bimbo talk :p

but the bfeeding bond is something only a nursing mother can understand.

Pkdust : i think there's some guidelines in the MOM website which stipulate that we have to give them reasonable notice of our pregnancy - so try not to delay too long ..


Cactus : OIC ... my friend was persuading me to consider AGC due to the family friendly working hours and environment !!
Oh if you do teach, can i engage you for my DD in piano classes?
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Felicia,
Can tell whats the reason for c-sec? Is it your choice? I have one colleague whose stomach got so big that she cannot tahan anymore so opted for C-section.

I got extremely low threshold for pain so will definitly go for epidural this time round.But I cannot take it when the nurse and gynae actually insert their finger right in to check the number of cm that it has dilated. Somemore it is not once but few times : ( I think with C-sec, they will not be doing this at all.
 
K Ong, Cactus,
In that case, I will tell my boss somewhere early Feb. Anyway, I guess by then my tummy will tell by itself : )
 
pkdust,

I'm havin low placenta, tats placenta preavia, so no choice must c-sec.

You are considering of c-sec this round? Well, for c-sec is a very fast process. I think within few mins the bb is out liao, gynae only take more times to sew (staple) up the wound part.
In fact a few mummies here was actually plan to try normal birth after their 1st c-sec. Me was one of them.
 
Hi pkdust,
Different pple heal at dif rates for csec, same for natural birth..does not mean natural birth will heal faster. My best friend tore both inside and outside to the anus area and her wound still feels raw after 6mths. I have epi csec too but I did not feel much pain after 3rd day and by the time I am discharged, I just walked like when i was pregnant... so let's worry when the time comes ok? still far away
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hi Ong,
Ya I forgot abt the washing and sterilising part haha... I asked myself how to persist for this one if I wanna bf longer.. imagine 18mths means from jun08 till dec 09 lei!
 
Hi K Ong,

It's very sweet of you to consider letting me teach your girl! Let's see how things go , but if you are seriously thinking of letting your girl start music classes, do let me know. I would be happy to make some recommendations.
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Are you legally trained also? You mentioned that a friend is persuading you to consider AGC? AGC is good - I hear the DPPs get extra $ for appearing in court - something like allowance. If you have good honours, you get into the highest salary scale for the same rank. Being ladies, we get $300 less than the guys but it's okay. We get maternity leave.
 
pkdust,

wah u can study during confinement?? Pei fu pei fu..

i can't go back to NUS for masters bec' their classes start at 7pm and my work ends at 6pm and boss refuse to give me flexi-working so i have no choice.

I was considering for masters outside but also not easy bec' my field is a v small field.

piyo (secret garden)

Same me went to Europe for honeymoon but also dun want kid so fast, have this one 1 year after customary too.
 
pkdust, my c-section not so painful lar, maybe that time I was young, so still can tahan. I opt for full anestatic rather than epidural as per doc recommendation, so the medic stronger. But hor, as my confinement, I stingy to get confinement lady, I helped out with baby and stuff, my wound not so fully healed. Took around 1 mth. Very itchy though. My reason for c-section is that my noti boy breech.
 
piyo : wow, targeting 18 mths ?? good for u !!
but after 12 mths prob wont pump so often right ? maybe once or twice at work ?

Cactus : yes i am - am inhouse
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hours are pretty ok at the moment so not intending to move ... YET ! heehee
 
pkdust and cactus,

If plan for 2nd one v fast, then must be prepared to stay in same company for 5 years liao.

I think if i stay another 5 years, it will be a 12 years stay in first job and same company = confirmed locked here liao.
 
My colleague also bf until beyond 1 year.

i tink i cannot tahan bf so many times in office. lazy.. my target is 6mths since min 6mths bf is considered adequate.
 
Ellysia,
Mine is an external one as well. Yeah I cannot fit into NUS time schedule so never consider it though it is much cheaper.

piyo,
When I saw your message about your best fren, I nearly fainted on the spot! "torn inside and outside to the anus area" Oh my gosh!! That must be terrible. Then I rather have a C-sec. Anyway, lets not worry for something that is so far ahead.
 
pkdust,

Yup NUS is too far for me also then the timing is strict and too early.

Yr one is 1st one or 2nd one? if want to close shop liao maybe c-sect is ok.

For me i tink if want to have a 2nd one then 1st one better dun c-sect so next one has more choices.

piyo,

did yr fren has a cut before she give birth? I mean normally gynae may ask to cut to avoid tear.
 
cactus,

In house pay is lower right?

If leave right after No.2, then may not be able to bf No.2 plus new working environment + bb = more stress. Can cope well at new job?
 
piyo,

ur story oso remind me of my friend's case. She was oso on normal delivery but not sure why the bb just stucked and resulted my friend lost lot of blood and kena use forcep. Then the tear was quite serious oso and the stitch up job took quite long resulted her numbness gone. She was in tears when the stitches is done. She told me she was cursing in the delivery room and even scolded her newborn bb.
Her hubby was too shocked to react oso. For normal delivery was supposed to be 1 or 2 nites in hosp, but she ended up 3 nites. When i visited her at her house, she could not get up from her bed at all and look very pale.
Her case was quite rare but enuf to make me feel scare of delivery.
 
Felicia,

Yest i heard stories from the instructor ored feel scared too. Trying not to think too much.

Cactus,

I think cut is better to avoid big tear.
 
Ya ellysia and pkdust,
think you haf to ask or voice out any concerns b4 going into the delivery ward. My best friend has difficulty dilating and bb's head too big ended up big tear.. her 2nd was csec as advised by same gynae
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felicia,
I think your friend's case worse than my friends's.. her bb was in distress and dunno how ended up with such a big tear!
 
ellysia,
not to forget, you may need to take urgent leave when kids fall sick or bring bb to pd for jabs etc.. aiya got kids if new workplace, how to take leave so easily??
 
piyo(secret garden)

i will think at 3rd trim i may ask gynae often on the size of bb head and her advice whether nature can or not.

After my detailed scan i ored ask gynae on the head size and seem ok so far, but i am worried bec me and hb head are both quite big.

For c-sect, which one is better? spine (semi-conscious) or full (total unconscious)?

Ya, thats wat i telling cactus tat it is impossible to change job imm after No 2.
 
ladies,

i'm goin bak soon. Chat tomolo. All the delivery story make me feel uncomfortable. Later tonite dream about delivery. hahaha.....
 
Hi Ellysia,

Generally speaking, in house pay is lower.

As for the work aspect, maybe there was some miscommunication between us:
"If leave right after No.2, then may not be able to bf No.2 plus new working environment + bb = more stress. Can cope well at new job?"
I don't mean to say leave right after #2. But rather leave after maternity leave for #2 ends. Now is Jan 08. I deliver #1 in June. Assume I conceive #2 in Jan 09. Deliver #2 in Oct. Maternity leave end in Jan 2010. Only 2 years from now. No need to stay in the job for 5 years. What happens after I leave in Jan 2010 is another issue.
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Anyway, I'm logging off ladies. Think ther's something wrong with the north bound train. frequency is at 7 to 8 min (my colleague just called back to office to tell me)... hope it's nothing though.
 
Piyo, Ellysia:

I think it's bad english on my side or confusing posts lah.

after #2's maternity leave, I may teach music privately or help out in my hb's clinic if he decides to strike it out. Those are more flexi options. But if I need CPF contribution, then I will need to consider civil service, or inhouse , or stay put. Erm... what I'm saying is if I plan to have 2 kids quickly it is not "die die" must stay on this same job for 5 years.

Anyway, sorry for the confusion. Talk to you all tomorrow!!
 
felicia,
Bye! sweet dreams but not on delivery hor!

Ellsyia,
Gynaes will normally tell you "can try natural" unless your pelvic is too small
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I took epi csec (semi) cos I wanna c and perhaps bf my bb at the 1st instant she is out. GA is good if you wanna avoid going thru the procedure of cut up but more side effects like giddiness, vomit etc after waking up and may be waking up hours after bb is out. I dun rem having much side effects from epi csec apart from shivering uncontrollably when epi is injected.

If this time I got to go csec again, will choose epi csec
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Ellysia,
Mine is a second bb. But because I never go on epidual right at the beginning so I suffer the contraction pain until it dilates to around 3 or 4 cm. Thats why till now there is still a phophia of giving birth through normal delivery. Then after that the stitches pain is really unbearable because my pain threshold is really low. But I recovered within one week after giving birth.

Cactus,
Yeah you can consider teaching at poly as an alternative as well. Actually I am considering that too. I have some frens who are lecturing at poly and they mention you do not have to be involved too much in the administrative work as it is taken care by another dept. Just concentrate on teaching. The pay goes with acadamic and experience .
 
piyo(secret garden)

I am considering natural with epi unless bb head is too big. So will have to monitor bb size then see how.
 
Ellysia,
Hb and I not patang. We tried 10 months then managed to conceive wor. So, wat animal oso never mind. Hehe.

Veniz,
I oso dream alot. I always wake up with weird stories to tell my hb oso.

Catcus,
2nd bb before the 1st one reached 1 yr old? Wah, very ambitious wor. People always say that sex feels different after giving birth.. I wonder if I got mood to try for a 2nd one so quickly or not. Hehe.
 
i asked my gynae re: episotomy (aka cutting down there)....he said he will assess the situation and if there is a need to, he would cut to avoid having tear as tear is harder to stitch up. My gynae cut me and I didnt even feel a thing and actually i did not even know he cut me. Then later in the ward, he told me dat as my bb's head was too big so it tear further upwards even though he had cut me. It was pretty sore down there but with the painkiller, it was pretty ok. When I went back a week after for my review, gynae told me dat it was healing very well. So i guess it wasn't as scary as i thot it would be if they had to cut us. I read my fren's blog who had an epi c-sec and the way she describe the process is even scarier! She mentioned something like they had to cut abt 3 layers in order to get to the baby...sounds pretty scary to me. Then on the day i was only to be discharged, i saw a mommy who juz came out from c-section and it certainly looks very painful! Really salute those mommy who had c-sec.
 
zuen, hahahah....sex after birth feels definitely different especially if u r still breastfeeding cos down there will be super dry! breastfeeding suppresses the fertility hormones and i only managed to conceive after i stopped breastfeeding. of course there are some who oso got preggie even when they are breastfeeding.
 
Morning ladies,

piyo,
thks for your sweet dream tat i din had any delivery dream. haha...
but i still keep waking up I sleep very early at 9pm as was too tired due to waking up problem for the past few days. In the end, i still wake up at least 3-4 times. aiyo, my eyes oso cannot open liao!
 
Hi gers,
I am earlier today. Hb complained that he is always late for work bcos he has to send me to work 1st. Ended up super early today.
I had just finished reading yday's thread. All the postings on delivery are sure scary.. I wonder how some mummies go thru' this whole nightmare for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th time. I was still hoping for 2. Haha.

Starmoon,
I wanted to bf too, but my office is super non-family friendly. We worked long hours (easily 10 hrs per day excluding lunch) and it is difficult to disappear to express milk. There is nowhere to do so too. Haiz. I was still thinking of buying a breast pump awhile ago.
Right now, hb and I already not engaging in sex. He is worried that he will hurt the bb, especially after all the bleeding and spotting incidents. I oso no mood, hehe.
Talking about it, I was hoping to have some intimate moments when we go for our cruise but am worried that I ended up spotting/ bleeding in the middle of the sea. Faint..
 
ellysia,

During my 1st c-sec, i opt for epi semi, but failed so ended up full body. It was a nightmare for me when the epi semi failed. So, even this round ended up c-sec, i dont think i'll opt epi semi again coz the whole process make me shivering.

ZuEn/ Starmoon,
As my 1st delivery is via c-sec and i dont BF, so to me sex aft delivery is very good just like 1st time *shy'.....
 
Felicia,
Morning..
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How will epi semi failed? Meaning you can still feel the pain?
Ya lor, if naturally, with all the discharge and tear and healing.. oh gosh, just the tot..
 
ZuEn,
Yup, i can still feel it even aft they inject the liquid to my spine. They gave up after wait for about 15mins when i still had feeling when they use a paper to touch my leg. I was very scare when i heard he told me hubby th epi (semi) is failed and he cannot witness the delivery process.
 
Felicia,

Abt Epi during C-Sect, like your case, my gynae told me go for full body is good when I made up my mind on full body. He never pushed me which one to take, but he said sometimes epi fail or the numbness effect wear off, most mothers will cried and ask for full body, thus a waste of $$ in his opinion.

Zuen and Felicia, even though I c-sect, my sex drive goes down a lot, dun even feel like having it anymore. But to satisfy my hb and to produce this baby, I just go ahead. I dunno why, but just dun like it anymore. Now, when I touch hb, he won't let me caress him for longer than 2mins, coz he afraid he horny then will want, and I don't, so sometimes feel sad can't even touch his hands or shoulders for longer period. haiz.
 
Veniz,
I opt for semi coz i wanna see the process and my hubby oso very eager to see. This is oso the reason why my hubby is supporting my decision to go VBAC this round. Yaloh is a waste of money but was out of unforesee circumstances.
Hey, my hubby oso dont like me to caress him for too long. Same reason as your hubby loh. Initially i feel sad oso but later on i realised is a torture for them when they had desire but cant get it. So dont be too sad about this.
 
Morning ladies!

pkdust - I know some polys like Temasek poly have childcare facilities on their campus. I think Republic poly is very family oriented.

Re: sex after delivery. I heard most women have a lower sex drive after delivery. Some men may also experience that too. I understand that the dryness can be overcome by getting a lubricant. The rest, just takes time.
 
Morning ladies!

Felicia and Veniz,
You just reminded me of a friend who ended up with GA csec cos epi fails on her - she can feel the needle poking her thign when they tested on her...
 
Felicia, at first I also want to go for semi, then after thinking for awhile, I told doc I will go for full, he was so happy to hear that. My hubby also wanted to see the birthing, but we still go ahead with full anes. Ya, guys are always so hot blooded one, cannot stand their desire for longer time. As my hb has a new baby now (his auto baby lar) I think he can put his desire and time on it since he can't have any *** with me, haha.

When I was working PT in a pharmacy when younger, I rem there are several elder ladies or men who were looking for lubrications. But normally when asked them how can I help them (to find what they want), they will blush and say no need my help. Until they really cannot find, then they will tell me very softly, quickly pay for it, and left. Ever also encounter a very handsome man buying condoms, asking me whether are they oil or water based and can saliver touch the condom, yucks (I was single and ignorant then).
 
Veniz,
I always teased my hubby ' you so easily get aroused, what'll happen if some oth woman touch you?' Then he'll said i'm 'siau'.
 
Haha, Felicia, so funny, your hb. Morraine, if you like it 'real hot' here, join in the fun, hee.

My hubby recent has a male colleague who looks up to him, staying in our area, they bought cars together, get the cars around same time, anything he will consult my hubby lar. As recent because of this friend new car, and some matter, hb sometimes tell him he go downstairs for a while lor. I know its this friend who looks for him so I tease him wah, galfriend looking for you huh? dun anyhow stay out with her till very late hor. He will say yaya. Anyway, we have to base on our judgement to trust them lor, coz not all men the same. But I dun deny he likes to look at pretty gals in front of me, as I know he just look, thats all.
 


<font color="ff6000">ha ha coz mine is normal delivery so therefore no juicy nor exciting delivery experience to share leh..</font>
 

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