(2008/05) May 2008

Kelcqi, wake up to pump 1 time is better than none loh.
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Keke Jaspire, I try to be more hardworking next time. I scare next time I'll sleep like a pig and cannot hear baby's cry.

Icebaby, what age you had your kids? Actually not that because old then have less energy. But what my colleague told me was after every birth, it's very damaging to the woman's body. And we'll aged faster. Thats why the more kids we have, the weaker we'll become. That's why ppl always say mummies very "Wei Da"

Hehe, U experience the same thing as my aunt. Her "Feng Shi" gone after she took gs care of herself during confinement. Thats why I hope I'll be able to rest well cos I always suffer from backache. I hope if I guai guai during confinement, my backache will leave me for good. Thats the reason why I die die also tell my hubby I want a CL...
 
Kelcqi, how come so late you are still awake?

Me still working in office so no choice wor. Super tired but can't sleep or rest. Gotta rush my work.
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You better sleep early, its better for baby too!
 
Kelcqi,

I had my first kid at 24, 2nd at 26. My backaches always been around because of lack of exercise. I used to be very active till I left school and just concentrate on PT studying and work. After that exercise was shelved. *grin*

Anyway, my parents and friends think I siao one. That day I spent 2hrs cleaning my new flat, sweeping and mopping the 3 bedrooms, living and dining. (I mop using hands on my knees, not used to using a mop). Even when I preggy with my 1st kid and in my current house when the maid went back to home town, I did the same thing. My hubby, he won't bother to scold. Even our room, everything have to clean and upkeep. My cousin-in-law was over the other day to help fix mosquito net said for 2hrs+ he was there, he sees my hubby in front of computer play games while the whole time I walk here and there cleaning the room. =P

Well, 1 reason is because I cannot sleep in the afternoon. If sleep, at night I can't sleep a wink. (Cham hor). But then again, I think you are rite, as the more rounds of birth we go thru, our body get weaker. I wonder how those aunties/grannies of ours last time can have 5-7. kids! Scary!


Jaspire,

Wah, u work so late. Last time I used to work like that but sorta don't have the energy now.
 
Confinement is very very important, 1 month only, so better guai guai..i believe a proper confinement can cure backache, and feng shi..feng shi is not happen to old aunty or uncle only..during confinement also can bath but with those herbal water, rem don mix the herbal water with tape water or heater water, if the herbal water is too hot, can boil early and let it cold..

ginger is gd, but if we bf, cant eat too much lo..

icebaby,

wa, very pei fu u..i always very pei fu those pregnant women who r working, then have to do house work n some more taking care of their other children...

currently i am not working, staying at home, (i resign fr my work, coz wana try for bb) but i din do house work, hB will do during weekend, see him like dat very heart pain...

jaspire,

don work so late arh, most imp is bb n ur health.. lastime i also work till mid nite, n everyday work fr 9am till 10pm or mid nite..so sian..
 
icebaby and piggymummy, no choice for me wor. Me now still back in ofc to work. Rushing a tight deadline.
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barely just slept 3hrs oni... very very tired.
 
Jaspire, Me got home late thats why so late still online cos my hubby needs to check email, he go shower I take over loh. Keke...

You don't work till is very bad for baby leh. Try not to stay so late in the office to work cos very dangerous also. As soon as you clear your stuff, try to rest over weekend. New Yr coming,surely alot of things to rush, not only office but household also. So must take care and rest well. You won't want to be sick over CNY...

Piggy-mummy, you are such a good wife. Heart pain hubby doing housework. My hubby also do the cleaning of the room since I got pregnant. Cos I had alot of cramps earlier on so my gynea told him firmly not to let me do all these. Hehe, at this moment I enjoy the pampering leh... Me so bad, I even took pic of him cleaning. And I showed my friends, tell them this is call happiness during pregnancy. :p

Yahyah, what they told me is never mixed with tap water also. Even the first time you shower after confinement at 28 days, don't use heater water. Must use boiled water. Wait for it to cool to suitable temperature then bath.

Icebaby, Actually I think it's better to have our kids earlier. For health reasons and energy level. And you'll save more in terms of those gynea also. Less test to do also.

You mean we stop exercising will have backache one ah? Cos last time I used to do 100 sit-ups every morning. Dunno is that the cause for my backache nowadays. I cannot sit down too long also. If not sure suffer from backache after that.

I have the same problem with sleeping in the afternoon. Earlier on in the pregnancy, I can napped in afternoon. But after 4 mths, times I dozed off in the afternoon over weekends, I become owl at nite.

Recently worse, I cannot sleep at nite even I don't nap in the afternoon. Sometimes from 11 plus, my baby become hyper active, move ard alot. I feel so uncomfortable and cannot sleep. Other times, either backache, leg numbness or pain, I also cannot sleep. I kept waking hubby up at times. Sometimes he complain he tired in the day cos never sleep well, I feel so guilty...
 
piggy mummy,

Actually I stay with my in-laws who have a maid. The flat I clean (the living + dining + kitchen) is my own flat which I have let my aunty stay recently. So generally I dun do much housework. =P So I peifu those mummies who can take care of kids and do cooking and cleaning. I only once a while clear our room (which is pretty big cos it's an extended room + a study + toilet).

Jaspire,

Better take good rest. Not good for body. That time I preggy with no. 2, I slought like cheap labour. Work 8am - 10/11pm every day.

Kelcqi,

For me, I have been active during my younger times and was training with my school for inter-sch competition. Got some injuries here and there. But my backache was mainly caused (I think) when I was in sec sch, I did long jump and landed wrongly. I couldn't walk for a couple of hours but force myself to walk. Didn't see doc either cos my parents doesn't like me to take part in competitions or activities (cos my dad used to say later cannot have kids then I know...who knows i got 2.5 now! Hahaha). However, I think alot is due to lack of proper recovery.

Today also wanted to sleep in afternoon. Lie in bed for 1 hr cannot fall asleep. Lucky my student change her tuition timing. I went to her place instead.
 
icebaby,
i also strongly believe in a good confinement this time round. My last confinement was incomplete..not enuf rest, drink plain water, bathe, wash hair, from day 1 already touch tap water etc. I may wanna close shop after this one, so I told myself to do a good confinement. Good that you are still young, recovery is faster. Do consider a good confinement this time round with ample help.

I also second your thoughts on breastfeeding. For my #1, i supplement with one FM every night and i totally express to bottle feed after 2 weeks. I've seen some who 100% direct latch, eventually when they wanna return to work, the baby refused the bottle and FM entirely. So really depends on baby, cannot strictly follow books.
 
wah, i pei fu you guys who can still work so late / do housework...
for me, i had light spotting AGAIN last friday nite. so saturday i went to see gynae again. think the nurse and gynae all recognise me oredi. sigh... but the thing is even the gynae cannot find out the reason leh. cos i oredi cleared yeast infection, and she said the placenta is not really low. end up she said could be due to irritable womb and the reason is indetermine. sigh....so end up i am put on ventolin to relax the womb and another week of mc!!! that's barely after one week i go back to work.

now i feel very paiseh to my colleagues cos now is year-end closing and it's busy. feeling like causing them alot of troubles. sigh....
 
yanling...if realli got spotting...take mc and rest at home... no point being guilty.. its ur entitlement to rest for the sake of baby...

tink ur colleague will understand lar..

take care!
 
Yanling,
dun wori abt your work now, rest well.

muzicgal,
my last visit she gave me obimin and calcium tablets. total is $17.10 excl gst. they didnt breakdown the prices.
 
hi yanling, do rest well wor...

me so tired... friday worked till 3.30am, sat worked from 1.30pm to 6.15pm, then sunday 8am to 9.30pm! Super burnt out. Luckily baby is guai guai in me.. happy to have her accompany me in fact.
 
Hi Good morning!

Yanling, rest well! And take care!

For my first child, i opted for natural birth with epidural, but as the labor too fast, so no time for epidural! So not really prepared for the pain! For my second child, i think should be ok to go without!! Don't know yet, maybe now act so garung, during labour, will scream for epidural! hahaha...
 
Sorri to interupt as i do need some advise
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I'm actually due in May 08, jux around late April my hubby need to go taiwan for training, duration was for a 5 weeks, he mention that if he don go, he seems not responsible as this group of men was under him and its their last exercise and it might affect his career as he is a regular ..He ask me if i do need him around during delivery but i'm nt sure as this is a second pregnancy.I do wish that he is available but in e mean time i don want to hinder his work? Wat would you gals do if u face such situation?
 
Jovial,
If I were in your shoes, I would request for hubby to be available for the delivery and also to help out after giving birth. This is your second pregnancy so you have #1 to look after as well? You will need extra helping hands. My fren's SIL's hubby was not around for the birth of their first child and somehow she got post-natal blues.

Tell your hubby...Once in a lifetime experience. Work can always wait..no one is indispensable in a company. Just my thoughts..
 
Haix... i can sense that he is very keen in going..he keep assuring me that his parent would be there for me when i need help. I really don nod whether i can convenice him to stay around.
 
Jaspire and Yanling, both of you must rest well ok? At least try resting as much as possible.

Me also very tired but mine is due to inability to sleep. Nowadays always backache and body ache. DUnno why the joints like very pain. I never really take my supplements of iron and calcium regularly due to constipation. I wonder if those pain are caused by that.

Jovial, I think if really cannot convince, den use demand method. Give him all sort of reasons why u need him ard. The baby belongs to both of you, you'll not feel complete if he's not ard for you.
 
Jovial, for me, I might just let him go as I dun wish to be the hindrance in his career (provided my mom and my MIL are there for me).

Yanling, u dun need to feel paiseh as this isn't within ur control. It's not as if you are applying leave to rest. Your colleagues will understand but do let them know that you appreciate their help.

Jaspire, try not to overwork yourself and have more rest.
 
Hi ladies, me resting at home, on MC. teriible cough and flu
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actually rest today also won't be able to recover, but then i feel so guilty to start taking MC so early in the year. somemore my principal already told us to watch our MCs, especially on Mondays and Fridays!

jovial, unless you're really very independent and feel you would LIKE your hubby to go away when you deliver, i think you should request for him to stay. if it were me, i know i definitely would like hubby to be with me in the delivery ward, no matter if it's the first child or not. i wouldn't want to deliver alone, nor have my mum or MIL in the delivery ward, that would be weird wouldn't it? some guys are insensitive, so assert your rights and demand he be there if you feel strongly that he should be. your hubby's first piority and responsibility should be towards you and the family unit you have built together, not towards his subordinates, just my 2 cents worth.. if it were my hubby, i definitely will not allow him to be away, esp if he gonna miss the birth and much of the confimement!
 
I feel the same too... the husband shld be around with u irregardless first, 2nd or third child.. coz all the child will call him papa leh...

what has the mil or pil ard got to do with his absence? i feel wat u need is his presence..unless u dun mind he not around lor.. but i doubt so rite.. coz if u dun mind, you will not ask us in the first place..
 
jovial,
can sense you really wan him to be around. erm..be selfish for once and demand that he be present? We are already sacrificing alot by carrying the baby to full term and giving birth, so asking him to forgo the trip is not too much to ask bah...
 
I'm planning to breastfeed my girl throughout the first month. Come second month, I'll start to feed her with breast milk and formula milk alternatingly for her to get used to it.

All the above is provided I'm able to produce BM. My friend who had just given birth advised me to eat more fish and drink more soup to increase the chance of producing breast milk.
 
anyone knows where i can get more info on hiring of maids? thinking of engaging one before baby comes out, can help with housework and also can bring the maid and baby to my mum's place for my mum to keep and eye on them when i return to work after ML..

Cos i see the way my mum takes care of my niece, or rather how bo chap she is (doesn't supervise my niece when she crawls around and open cupboard doors and stuff) i'm very worried leaving my baby in her care. my sis and basically everyone in the family also tells me that my mum is not up to the task of taking care of a young baby, even though my mum volunteers to do so. my sis says she will not go to work and instead will be a SAHM so she doesn't have to worry abt it. me can't be a SAHM
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Thanks for all your advise, u all really can read my mind ya.. I'm caught in a dilemma ever since i'm pregnant as e bb came unexpectedly...hehe..But anyway aft reading all your posts i've called him to discuss.. He oly can promise mi that he shall request to go there earlier n be back before my EDD. He mention that both events are equally impt to him and he feel bad too if he can't be there for mi but no choice, it really a must to attend the execise as it a "grand affair" in the army ...I somehow feel bad for him as well as if I'm in his shoe i can't decide too...I think that how soft hearted woman can be:p Right now Juz hope that boi boi kuai kuai still inside mi till full term...
 
hi icebaby,

hehehe. ya, i agree with u abt the "rather be clean". i mean, if we are going to bf, hygience is the most impt thing on mind so that when we bf we will nt pass any germs to the baby. but, noted ur point and thx for the advise. i think i will still shower la, fast but the much needed shower. =P

as for the makan, must eat well to "bu" the body, if? bf can still take ginger, DOM or rice wine mah? my mum ordered 5 bottles of rice wine frm relative!! wonder if its too much nt and if we bf watever we take the baby will also absorb, is it allowed to eat?

hi kelcqi,

the herb water to bathe i heard my mum mentioned b4 la..but duno if its sticky or smell funi nt...u mentioned boiled water..if hot water from the water heater le? as long as nt cold or cooling water can le right?
 
i'm coughing so badly my diaphgram hurts, so when i speak loudly (using my diaphgram to project my voice), it hurts too
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like tat how to go back to work tomorrow??? but i already missed doing some important admin stuff with my class today, tomorrow die die also must crawl back to work..

now's one of the times i wish hubby is rich enough to support me! but then i won't feel good not being financially independent anyway. the woes of the modern women
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jovial, you're really a very understanding wife, your husband is very lucky to have you. i won't be able to accept it if it were my hubby, how can say both the birth of his child and a working trip is equally important? i'll hammer my husband! lol
 
wishcometrue, according to my mum, if the rice wine etc is added during the cooking, most of the alcohol content would have evaporated so should be safe to take when bf. i understand that DOM will help to 'bu' the body cos of the herbs, but what exactly does the rice wine do? my mum only mentioned DOM but not rice wine, but then my mum is not an expert at the confinement rules..

the herb water for bathing, i've heard people who say it's sticky and smelly and yet others who say it's not smelly and feels clean. not sure who to believe. i also cannot imagine using only boiled water to bath leh, like tat bath once must boil how many kettles of water? and wat abt washing up after visiting the toilet (must keep the wound clean), washing of hands, dishes, milk bottles? all must use boiled water??
 
lynn, during your confinement, all the washing of the dishes and milk bottles are usu. done by whoever help you out during the confinement. If you really want to wash, then you may have to use gloves for that. It's believed that tap water has 'cooling effect'. That's why during confinement, it's best not to touch or drink any tap water.
 
Lynn: I've spoilt him so have to take it
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...I regreted to be so understanding all the times... haha..anyway i really do not wish to be a hindrance to his career. So we both compromise..

herb water is not sticky jux a bit stronger in smell..as for the wound e doc will give you a solution to wash. n I rem I soak the wound in salt water every morning.. don worry nt painful at all...it heal faster.
 
Lynn: I've spoilt him so have to take it
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...I regreted to be so understanding all the times... haha..anyway i really do not wish to be a hindrance to his career. So we both compromise..

herb water is not sticky jux a bit stronger in smell..as for the wound e doc will give you a solution to wash. n I rem I soak the wound (normal delivery)in salt water every morning.. don worry nt painful at all...it heal faster.
 
hi icebaby,

u gd la!!! preg still do hsewk! i "retire" frm doing hsewk since i know i am preg.hehehe.all i do is help my hubby wipe the tables or counters and he do the rest of the work =P for me, altho i am nt as tired as i was in my 1st trimester, i can still slp in the aftnn and be able to slp at nite. used to slp at 10pm daily during the 1st trimester but nw will be ard 1030pm or 11+. if slp any later i will be v tired the next day le.

hi yanling,

hw is ur spotting? hope its alright nw. aiya, if u have spotting just rest at hm la. baby n health more impt than work. i rem when i had my spotting and was given mc for 2 weeks in my 1st trimester, my colleague just resigned....so i feel bad abt taking the mc too...but when i called up my lead to let him know i was given 2 weeks mc, he was so sacastic i cant be bothered to feel paisay anymore...he said "wah! so gd ah! preg can get mc already, I also wan le." can u imagine hw angry i was? and he was so thick skin to ask me to work while i was on mc. so i learned, mc is my entitlement to take care of myself n baby, so i just told my colleage i will help when its urgent...if nt i need my rest...so yanling, since doc gave u mc,pls rest well ok =)
 
hi jovial,

i understand hw difficult it must be for u coz my hubby in army also and he will be away during the 7th and 8th mths of my preg =( and if baby decides to pop out earlier even by 2 weeks hubby will miss the delivery, so like u, i am praying tt baby will stay full term or at least wait till hubby is back.

u must be strong and be happy while he is away ok? =)
 
Felval: so we are in the same boat ya.. so both of us must pray bb guai guai stay full term then pop.. mine is the 2nd bb so still nt very worried as i roughly can rem(9 yrs back)wats going to be like during labour... I also hope that i can have a safe delivery like my 1st. fast fast n easy...
 
hi lynn,

the rice wine (mi jiu), according to my mum also helps to "bu" the body. either DOM or rice wine is ok. but i also duno why she decides to order the rice wine. hehehe. since my parents are helping me with my confinement i let them decides lo.hehehe
 
hi jovial,

^5, ya we are in the same boat but ho this is our 1st kid... further more, he was also overseas during my 1st trimester so i was rather upset then..so it really means alot for both him and me that he is ard.

is it true that 1st kid tend to be deliver earlier than edd?

dun worry, all of us will have a safe delivery =)
 
Hi wishcometru,Lynn,

U can take DOM or ricewine during bf, but must make sure is cook 4 a while so tat the alchol content hve evaporated.

Regard herb water for bath,actually i dun understand wat is the diff between boiled water n water from heater.. during my last confinement my mom insist i use boiled water..but so hot how to do bathe, anyway i dun care...i mixed with some room tempature water..ja dun let her know..hee.hee... sometimes the confinement rule is diffcult to follow...I still bathe everyday.
 
Felval: I'm gal was out 37+ weeks,.. but actually can't really tell when they going to pop.. so i'm worried tat I might popped earlier again...sm more this pregnancy keep having spoting have to eat "an tai yao" everydat n most of the time hubby can't make it to go check up wid mi.. so sian.. but already used to it and actually before i conceived he already told me tat he will be busi till May this year.
 
hi xavpris,

hehhee. same thot. wats the diff between boiled water n hot water frm heater? both also hot mah =P

but if using boiled water i believe must let it cool la...hehehe. but when cool le, isint it the same as hot water frm the heater?

sg weather so hot...especially in may..cant imagine no cool water for bathing =(
 
hi jovial,

u still taking "an tai pill" now mah?

same.hehehe. 1st trimester i visited the gynae myself also...think last trimester also le =(

also, we signed up for antenatal classes but we nv expect tt he will be called away for duty...so, he told me, i will have to go for these classes myself... =( *sad*

anyway, no choice ah...since the day we know them, we know hw irregular their wking hrs are and hw their wking life will be like...so in a sense, i think we have to live with it coz we chose them ourselves. ya? =)

i think we just have to set our mindsets correct and be happy for ourselves and our babies =)

easier said than done (coz i complain to him if he wks late too often or he flies too often) =P
 
Felval:
Ya my doc said must eat cos I on n off gt brown discharge which is not very gd.. I think i'm carrying e bb low and it sometimes restrict my movement...
Both of us so poor thing rite,,they gt such irregular working hours n mant times they bound to disappoint us...
gt to be independant... cheers for us .. haha
 
Lynn, i oso need to find a maid... Indonesian maid as my MIL can speak a little malay but not english. Headache wor, dunno where got gd and reliable maid leh.
 
jaspire,

I know the feeling when you work late and you got baby with u. U dun feel so lonely hor. =)

Jovial,

Can't advise much except weigh the pro and cons. For me, if my dh is a regular and this is a die die "mission" for him to go, then I guess bo bian I would let him go. Cos job = finances (cos if regular and lose job...might be hard to find a job with same pay outside market in future). Of course, our wishes for our dh to be with us is a MUST thing however, this kind of situation cannot be helped. =) Maybe you can ask gynae and say if your dh cannot be with you due to the reason u have given, can you get someone else who u are very close with to be with u?

Lynn,

Maid not cheap. Most important to know if can afford anot. Then hor, whether your mum is okay for you to let the maid be with her (cos remember maid's address is at ur own place). As for searching for a maid, try sourcing to check on maid agencies. Good maids are very hard to come by. =(

Felval,

I read that people say when bfg best not to take ginger leh. Anyone has any advise? For me, I will try to bf again, but if baby do not latch on, I will try to express unless someone or whatever prevents me like my last 2 rounds.

As for herb water, I had frens that bath in it, tell me the water make you more sticky. So I stay away from it. I stick to bath with HOT water quick and fast get out.

For housework, when I have "mood", I really clean. It helps me get my mind off things. It's like a stress reliever. Even now I still give tuition because it helps me to "think" less. I think less = less problems.
 
icebaby, haiz... wat to do? I really dun think its workable if after baby is born and I have to work like this. So many late nites so unhealthy... and baby how?
 
Lynn & Jaspire, if you ladies can do without the maid, then try not to hire. We hired a maid to take care of my hubby's grandma. It is quite costly and sometimes, the bio data (resume) presented are not accurate. The resume may overstate their experience and age. The training of the maid will take some time. We have hired one who's very experienced but we encountered problems with her. She kept requesting to have more off-days, went marketing for hours and worse, she started stealing. In the end, we have to send her off. Good ones do not come by easily. Initially, all will be good & obedient. As time goes by, they'll show their true color and that's when the real problem come.
 
jaspire,

well, that's what happened to me. I went back to work 1 month after giving birth. Broke down within few months due to family strain issues. Boss 1st time see me with so much tears then end up lighten my load abit. So I end up working with hours like 8am - 8pm (after 8pm can take cab home). Soon after I left the company to join another company although my boss counter offered with a 50% jump but I had to move. (End the other job, I left because i was bored with the hours and fill my time by con't studying and giving tuition to 4 students).

**Highlight: Note hor..I am not those mummy kind that spend alot of time with my kids. I choose career, practicality and harmony at home over problems. (Firstly, I stay with my in-laws, if kids are sticky with me, it's hard for everyone at home to help out. This cause alot of friction and problems. N I can't move out because my hubby is the only child, I do not wish to create disharmony btw my in-laws and my hubby/myself. Secondly, my hubby within last yr alone lost his job 3 times. His job stability is always a ????. For us, I earn more than my hubby and I can find a job more easily than him. So I can't give up career over kids as I got my own parents to take care of financially too). It's a big sacrific but I do not have much choice. But of course, my kids know I am their mummy lah...will also ask things from me. And I plan everyone's birthday, research on their education, bake cakes for my kids, etc =P
 


icebaby,
you are a very strong mummy. it muz have been very tough on you..

regarding ginger when bfing, i also heard abt it. when i was bfing, my MIL still put lots of ginger in my food cos she didnt believe in it. so my baby had breastmilk jaundice for like 2-3mths, but borderline type, no need phototherapy. not sure if it was due to the ginger or the loads of papaya i took when i was preggy. :p

Kelcqi,
there's two types of herbs for bathing. one is the pre-packed type from medical hall. another is to concoct yourself - my MIL knew how to do it so she made for me...better smelling and not sticky. mainly lemongrass and dunno wat else.

she also specially boiled water for me, she boiled one whole baby bathtub of it..takes quite some time to prepare. but using tubs of water very hard to wash hair...
 

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