(2008/05) May 2008

Diana,
I do agree with what u think, if this really can't solve and even come to punch her more and more frequent. But really have to think twice. Separation is the last move if thing really can't solve.
 


i stay at my mom's house, so mil dun come everytime. even if she come, she oso need me to teach her how to wash her feet and hands before touching my baby. so how to trust her taking care my boy with poor hygiene? they can even finish making business, come out from toilet and skip the sink.
 
thats y i MIA so long.. was busy packing the whole.. without any help from him. my boy still dun wan my new maid, or maybe according to babycenter, my boy is at the stage of seperation anxiety, he see me... he wants me badly.. i go toilet oso must carry him in one arm.
 
ant...cannot walk..but wan to walk ard the house...so i bend down and "assist" him to walk lor...faint...

confinement...
actualli i didnt do a good confinement becoz i on air con, on fan wear light... hahahaa...and i wash bottles, feed raphael and do alot of stuff like do laundry (put in washing machine and hang them lar)
aiya..my confinement overall is consider as fail one lor..

but i am lucky my mum came over to help me and cook me same dishes everyday..ahhahaaa..i not complaining about her food lar..
but glad she came over to help lor.. hohoh....

but i tink i will suffer in future in terms of "Feng shi" etc... sob

muzicgal..
i realli not in a position to advise u anything but hope u are ok lor... =)
 
muzicgal,

nv allow urself to be someone punching bag. he beat u wen u are preggie? did u tell ur family member all these? if nt u hv to, remember, sometime some hb tend to bully their wife who hv no family to support her de...dun say i teach u bad, but if u r tinking of divorce, then in order to ensure u hv weijun custody, then u hv to start jotting down events le...to prove tat he will nt be a good father role for child to grow up wif. coz i believe if u really wan to divorce, ur hb will fight wif u the custody and he will sure get his mum to take care of weijun de...

i noe i might hv tink too far...but this to protect ourselves the women.

also, i suggest u go see doct for ur arms, if u hv family doct, then go see ur family doctor...so tat u hv some medical prove also...then in future if need arise, u can apply for protection de...

sorry ladies, if i do make tings sound bad and serious, but i tink sometime we women juz forget our own safety and happiness and most imptly, forget to protect ourselves from hurt...
 
2445341.jpg

bruises
 
corynn,

yes, agreed that divorce and separation shld be the last resort. although saying is easier than done, but there must alway be limit to the chances we give de...we cant be alway gifing the chances while the receiving party do not treasure lor...

i guess i can only say, we hv our own set of worries and problem...juz tat nt all of us will share it here de...
 
errr... though i dunno much about what u went thru..i have to agree with diana wat she said make sense...

in order to "secure" the custody of the child in case anything happen in future(of coz i hope u can make peace with ur hb lar).. its best to keep evidence and see a doc to keep a record lor...

paiseh ah..i side with the reality and our own safety one..of coz i dun support divorce lar..

but if realli face with beatings regularly..its time to leave the guy and get a better life...

oppps.... this kpo choc..u can ignore my post lar.. hehee...
 
diana,
i got no family doctor... last time i used to have one..but after she stop practicing then i got no more le...

thanks diana, i will start jottling down all the events.. the previous pregnancy bruises i oso got take picture down.

i didnt tell my parents, i dun wan my mom hate him even more. but i told monster in law how bad manners she teach her son, and i yell at her dun teach my weijun like tat oso.. i know she feel sad.. but i oni can revenge using this way, cos i know i cant win my hb. he is like a timebomb/volcano, can erupt anytime. not the first time le... he already smash broken alot of things...ya.. i can say he very violent..
 
muzicgal,

from the bruises, i tink he muz hv hit u rather hard. pls go see a doct to ensure he did nt crack ur bone or wat...

ladies,

gymboree juz call me up to confirm the number of children in order for them to prepare goodies bag and also they need to confirm the theme.

dolly, i told them that roughly there be 30 babies and to be confirm on friday but they need us to confirm the theme by 2molo. can i leave it to you all to decide....coz i am on half day course since yesterday to this thursday, so will only be in office in the morning nia...
 
i havent rub the bruises.. its too painful and swollen to rub.. i guess if i rub it, it will appear worse..
i think didnt crack.. but writing and playing piano and sleeping sideway hurts..

my maid witness and she stand in the middle.. he shouted her to get lost.. then she cry at the kitchen too..

i ask her to mute, cannot tell my mom.. but tomorrow wed, he go monsterinlaw house, i ask my maid to tell her. i will threatened my monsterinlaw with this
 
muzicgal,

i tink u shld let ur parent know, then let them to scold him or talk to his parent lor...u are nt protecting ur hb by nt telling ur parent, in fact, i tink u r nt protecting urself...coz i guess he noe u wont tell ur parent so make him even more daring in alway trying to 'teach' u wif his punches lor...

choc,

i dun support divorce also lah...but i am ALWAY in support of LOVING and PROCTECTING ourselves the WOMEN mah...heehee
 
muzicgal,
my stand is the same as Diana. Many women stay in an unhappy marriage because of their kids but ended up the kids suffer a lot too. If a man can hits his wife, he will hits his children too when the kids get older. I am not encouraging you to get divorce but maybe you may persuade your hubby to go for marriage counselling.
 
Muzicgal- nt tat I’m being bad or wat. But no pt stayin w such a violent man! God noes wat he wil do to u nxt. V worried for weijun n ur safety. Pls let us noe if u need any help. I’m super agst this kind of person who uses violence!!!
 
ant,

me too...actually to say the truth, i dun believe those man who resort to violent will ever learnt and stop hitting the wife de...saw too much of such case wen i was active in Singapore Bride 'matter of heart' thread last time...
 
ant,
yes same as you, i was so angry when i read muzicgal post.

Muzicgal,
just wanna let you know that we be here for you. If you want to talk to us, we can meet and drink kopi. Most importantly, you must think for yourself and WeiJun.
 
i cant tell my mom, my mom will be sad and hate him even more.. she oreadi dun like him le.. my brothers even offer help to scold him during my confinement, but i dun wan to make things worse.. cos i noe he is really a mad person when he is angwee... he wll start smashing things... so i dun wan him to smash my mom's house things...

my effort and energy is limited.. im too tired le...he dun appreciate my cooking too. so i give up preparing meals for him. he preferred eating his mom's unfresh food.
1) instant noodle with salt and sugar as soup base
2) leftover praying chicken, fry with sambal chilli
3) yellowish cod fish and steam.. yucks, or frozen fish fried into those foodcourt selling fried fish bee hoon
4) small little prawn and broken necks... its unfresh!
5) fresh chicken, but keep in the freezer for months..cos she dun like to go market and cook, so the food can keep for months
6) canned foods...
7) etc etc..

fruits and carrot are poisonous food, according to monster in law...

compared to my cooking
1) broccoli with celery and carrots
2) teriyaki salmon
3) herbal chicken aka emperor chicken
4) sharkfinmelon soup
5) potato and carrot soup
6) broiled chicken wings
7) blueberry muffin
8) pumpkin soup
9) seafood and tofu soup
10) hotplate beancurd
etc etc...
 
Muzicgal,
Totally speechless! Please protect yourself and poor Weijun. Think all mummies will stand by you if you need help.

I totally agree with Diana. Please informed your parents and his parents too. Since he is close to his family then make them do the counselling. YOur parents can also talk to your mil.
 
choc,
haha...raphael like tim...cannot walk but want pp to hold him and walk around the house... bend until my back is aching

muzicgal,
your bruises look bad... really think tat the both of you go marriage counselling..
 
muzicgal ,

You must really inform your parents and bro about this and it seem to be serious . Cos now all of the us here are worry for you and Weijun .

Dun keep quiet about it please ....!!
 
muzicgal,

i tink if ur hb really still treasure ur marriage, he shld go for anger management course...think there is such course...coz i tink one of my ex coglis went coz he noe he got beri bad temper mah...
 
either tat or show some colour to him....run back to your parents and weijun...think your parents will help you...after all you're their daughter
 
he wun beat weijun.. he beat me for venting anger at weijun and make me promise never vent anger at weijun. then i told him in the first place who make me frustrated? sat he didnt entertain my guests, he as the owner oso, hide in the room for the whole day... come out awhile and go back in its like hinting "huh? still ard ah"
my guests even ask me why my hb like tat one? my face really duno hide where..
 
muzicgal,

nw he wont hit weijun, but wen weijun grow up and if he disobey him, can u guarantee he wont? i tink he will coz he seem to be someone who wan everytime to be in his control de...also even if he wont hit weijun, but he wont be a good father role also, u sure dun wan weijun to pick up his violent temper ba...

remember, children usually learn wat they see de...tink abt it....for urself and for weijun...
 
seriously, i support divorce esp if the hubby is violent and dun show face to the wife... as long as you're earning your own keep you can take care of yourself and weijun... kids won't be happy in a unhappy family...you're still young can still look for another guy...one tat really takes care and loves you
 
my mom and mil oso not in good terms.. so cant chat type..

i know running back to my mom's place is good.. but he will go my mom's place to mess ard.. and start smashing things or watever... haizz..... i dun ever dare to park near his car.. cos when he angwee that time, he will punch my car too...

i even got a nightmare he will throw away my "baby pillow".. u see all my dearest thing...

tat day he threatened to smashed my dearest new computer too...

last time he oso threatened to smash my piano too ($12k)
 
muzicgal,
he wont beat weijun cos weijun is still small but when weijun gets older especially at a age where he will talk back, no one can guarantee that he wont beat weijun.
 
ok, i got to go for my course le....and i wont hv internet access...

will check the thread 2nite...

muzicgal,

think careful and go see a doct ok...

sugar,

dun tink tat way lah...our fate wif number 2 nt here nia....they will come again wen they ready de...remember tink positive...

heehee, i believe tat we can alway tink positive de...coz if i can still tink positive after gng thru shit, i believe all can de...but remember muz get out of shit first lah...

bye chat 2nite..
 
of cos i dun wan him to learn from his bad manners...
so im trying hard to discipline weijun now... but now is like got heart but no stamina...i have to do teach weijun, cook, work and the worse one is sending weijun from tampines to bukit batok that 45 minutes car ride... he keep screaming and crying... all thanks to hb let him pay the steering wheels... so when put him down in car seat.. he wants to play the steering wheels...
 
muzicgal,
The bruises is really bad. U better quickly go and see doctor to file all the evidence before the bruises got lighter just in case u need it one day.

No matter what happen, punching is not right at the 1st place. None of us are born to be puched. He should not do this to you.

U must let your family know about it. They have the right to know also.

Don't worried, you have a group of mother can share with you the problem.

U must obtain Weijun custody.

Diana,
I agree we can't give in if the other party not treasure it and also everybody have their own set of problem.
 
tok about no 2, he ask for no 2 to accompany weijun. he say weijun need a bro. i say no...i explained to him how much pain i go thru during pregnancy and confinement, and once agreed wont flare and punch me, but he still did it on sunday... haiz....
 
muzicgal,
i feel very sad for what u have undergone. I agree with corynn that the bruises is quite bad. You may want to get the doc to access it and have some records in case u need it in future.

Right now, u must brace yourself up since weijun is so close to u.

I also agree with diana that its quite difficult for someone to stop violence once they start. Thus, you may also want to start planning on your future. Since u are a piano teacher, i think u shd be able to provide for weijun, etc.. and also what is the next step..

do let us know if u need any help.
 
Mummies,
me juz back from meeting and saw all these postings, seeing muzicgal's postings makes my blood boiled ....

Muzicgal,
so angry while i read your postings and sorry that you are going through all these. I agree with the rest. I will only respect man who gv the rightful respect to the woman and not treating you as punching bag, and also you do have your talent and earning power, if need to, please protect yourself and weijun from him.
 
Corryn,
i got your msg, will replace your name with Poky.

======================================

Birthday Bash --- Registration closed

Venue : Gymboree @ Harbourfront
Date : 16 May , Sat
Time : 5.00pm - 6.30pm (new timing, please note)

Charges : $370 (10 babies package for 1 1/2hrs)
Additional : $26 Non member registration fee
Additional 30 mins : $26 (so that we can have 2hrs)
Additional babies : 21 x $15 = $315
Finger food & drinks (estimation) : $200

Total amount : $952 / 31 babies = $30.70 ~ around up to $30 each baby

Please transfer $$ - $30 to Diana's account : POSB saving 065-34182-4

1. Choc - ref: 2214898191 (BB Raphael)
2. Dolly23 - ref: 2216284997 (BB Rayden)
3. Jo -ref :2218178592 (BB Jorel)
4. Adnes ref: 7347 (BB Morgan)
5. Annabelle - ref: 2219462428 (BB Eudora)
6. Chobits - ref: 2214891065 (BB Xavier)
7. Von - ref: 2217788961 (BB Cheng Xuan)
8. Jer - ref: 2232048179 (BB Keon)
9. Evie_82 - ref: 2218969907 (BB Keira)
10. Cheri - ref: 2219472891 (BB Matthias)
11. Dearie_e - ref. 2564 (BB Elijah)
12. felval - ref: 2217684179 (BB Damien)
13. bb08 x 2 - ref: 2223361169 (BB Hui Qi / BB Hui Xin)
14. Alice - ref: 2214862227 (BB Rachel)
15. Jovial - ref: 2215497614 (BB Lucas)
16. ylyn -ref: 2228666239 (BB Kaylene)
17. ting - trf on 20 apr 1.50pm, (BB Aldan)
18. Diana (BB Daryl)
19. winnedy - ref: 4143 (BB Nicholas)
20. yanling - ref : 4633 (BB Darren)
21. Angela - ref: 2215056758 (BB Megan)
22. mona - ref: 2214821674 (BB Timothy)
23. muzicgal - ref: 2229768625 (BB Weijun)
24. Jane -ref 2895 (BB Ryan)
25. Lynn - ref: 2217903158 (BB Dylan)
26. Yueling - ref: 2235052316 (BB Alyssa)
27. Corynn - Replaced by Poky (BB XuanXuan)
28. Michelle - ref: 2215056758 (BB Marie)
29. Jas - ref : 2249174473 (BB Cristiano)
30. Butttercup :ref 2252510919 (BB Randall

Total : 31 babies
 
claim $? talking about claiming $ oso a problem... everything in the house and weijun divided equally into 2... i oreadi have to dig into my savings... but my job scope as a mother and wife is like heavier than him. he ask me to look after weijun myself, so i have giveaway 60% of my students, meaning a big paycut.
1) play, feed, teach, discipline, drawing, practice piano
2) cook
3) i still have to work
4) sending to and fro from my mom's place on mon, fri, sat and sun
i have no rest at all... if not working, my time will be all weijun's

his?
1) work
2) come home eat and sweep backside go back to his room
3) play with weijun for awhile then will give up, my maid and i have to tidy up the toys for him and off the fan for him.
4) wed he will send weijun to his mom's place, he so scare weijun will reject his mother...my hb is mummy's boy. and will stay over and eat his dearest mummy "homecook" food.
 
corynn,
wah! 7 types of medicine is alot!!! Poor shaine...so young got to take so many drugs..hope she will recover soon le. ur gal really v kuai and independent lo.


muzicgal,
i think even if own mum helps to do confinement or looks aft baby must give $$ as yi shi yi shi also le. WTF!!!! UR HUBBY PUNCH U!? how can he do that!? did u take any actions? aiyo..sayang Weijun...did he got a scare? How can ur hubby ever lay his hands on u!? somemore u carrying weijun! I am anti-domestic violent! HUH!???? he even hit u when u preg? OMG! i am so angry! if he can do this once, he can do this many times lo.


ant,
hahaha. sama sama la. u saw me feed damien hotcakes he only "entertain" me for the first 2 mouths nia..the rest...throw away lo...
 
val,
weijun very scare...he cling tightly like koala bear and sleep on my shoulder. then when he want to shower more punches i quickly jump on to the bed. then weijun sleep on my chest.
ya.. during my preg and confinement stories, i think i oni tell dolly and kelly about it, i didnt post online
 
val,
yes exactly, he even go check out wat is the confinement lady rate, then he give my mom the $ tat rate or lesser i think. my mom so mad, and reject his money..so i come out the money myself, then he reimbursed me half. my mom go buy tonic for me tat time, even ask for receipts to prove him its not cheap. so what if its mother doing confinement? my mom is a housewife and is not working... he treated my mom worse than a confinement lady tat time.. at least confinement lady still can touch and carry and bathe the baby.... so when he came over to my mom's place, my mom will hide herself in her room.. the more she see him she feel like whacking him too..
 
Muzicgal,
feel so angry and sad while reading your post. Better go see a doc ya. Think maybe you can ask your hubby to go for counselling lor. coz, its not good for weijun to live in this kind of enviroment as well. If he really loves you and weijun, he should go....
 
muzicgal,
seriously its not healthy for weijun to witness such things lo - even if he doesnt knows wats going on la.

imagine when he is older n he understand things and he witness u being punched.

i am afraid that he will come to ur rescue and ur hubby will also punch him lo.

when a violent person lost his sense of judgement/sane even for a mere few seconds, anything can happen. even if he says he will nt be violent to weijun....

i feel very sad n angry for u le. *give u tight bear hug*

do u have any plans or decided wat u wanna do abt this?
 
chobits
i did tell him we need counselling like kelcqi, he say no, he say counsellor sure say he wrong im correct then want him to change.. then he got mad again... why i always want to change him..
 


chobits,
normally such guys will nt agree to see counselling coz they will nt admit they are in the wrong.

my cousin went thro wat muzicgal went thro...she was punched also...she wanted counselling but her ex hubby strongly object and insist there is nthing wrong with him...

in both cases, i see both hubbies as mummy boys...aznd both are violent ppl...
 

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