(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

morning mummies
Feeling lousy today. Having sore throat after my pizza dinner ytday. And T is in his "I dun like school" mode again.
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Since last week on off he started his nonsense again. As usual I wake him up at 7am to give milk then later got to talk and play with him until he fully awake to brush his teeth. Sometimes he will struggle sometimes he cooperates. But today he's not cooperative at all. Everyting also NO. Slow talk no use got to raise my voice then he listen. Then refuse to change uniform to go sch. Every morning I got to spend 1hr to talk, coax if not threaten to get him ready for sch. Do you think I have spoilt him ? He's never fast in his actions. Every step I have to tell him what I expect him to do the next. Sometimes he ok sometimes not ok. Very unstable one. Today same thing walk all the way to sch say dont want to go in say he doesnt like school. Dont like teacher dun like classmates etc. Haiz. When will he stop this nonsense completely ? When will he look forward to go school ? When will he wake up feeling happy and be cooperative ? He's a boy I told him has to be quick in doing things. Instead he purposely do the opposite leh. Tired me...

mom2nat
the form teacher is so nice. Write email to let you know your gal's strength and weaknesses. 30 pupils in the class means she got to spend time to send out 30 lengthy emails to all ? kudos to the teacher !
 


mylife,

Thanks. #2 is a girl.
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Our kids getting more stressed up due to the education system be in SG or HK. Forced to be KS at times.
 
chaye
if x1 is like that i will tear hair out and be impatient liao, so i really have to peifu u to spend 1 hr coaxing him!!!!
for x1, its touch and go. yes i admit sometimes he dun want to go to school/wear school uniform/pee blah blah
i always just tell him, dont want, nevermind, you know the consequences later. dont say i never warn u
errrr, too adult-ish hor? but if x1 dun wanna wear sch uniform, i will not battle. if dont want pee, he'll only wet his pants and serves him right. if dont want go to school, give 3 warnings, still ignore, ok i will hold his hand and drag him to school. coz we FTWM where got so much extra time everyday to coax them to school. once dragged him there liao, hug and say goodbye, after 5mins he forgot that he "dont want to go school" and happily started playing with classmates and eat bfast
BTH!!
 
yesterday, i did it!
i brought the kids to vivocity all on my own for the whole afternoon...
hb's grandma passed away so i was handling the kids since last fri (while hb at funeral), decided to bring them out

initially x1 say dont want to go sci centre, so i say ok we go vivo to take a splash in the pool, last min say want to go sci centre, in the end revert back to vivo *bth again*
train trip, walking all ok
maybe im too bochup coz:-
-i let x1 took off his clothes and wore only a pair of shorts and he spend at least an hr in the splash pool under the hot sun
-didnt bring out bm for x2, decided to latch her if she cries for milk *evil*
-we ate doughnuts for snacks

i even got to drink gongcha heehee, x1 said wanted to see how they made the drink so i spend the next 3 mins holding him in my left hand while bb in sling...damn tired

BUT x1 threw 2 tantrums within minutes of each other. i just let him sat there on the floor n cry until he finish, then prep talk + hugs + kisses...
that took up 30mins...

took a walk in pet safari, toysrus, daiso...

finally hb came after the funeral, ive got the only perk of the day - free car ride home
 
mylife
orh, i dont bring milk, and no check eg "oh 3 hrs passed liao, ok i'll latch her"...i latch her only if she cries for milk...so feed on demand.
actually she drink not much (compared to x1's time), i tend to worry but yest i totally bochup

now shes drinking 120ml x 4 feeds, bad days, only 120ml x 3 feeds, then at night 10pm+ 1x140ml, and i try not to latch her until eg 4-5am

too little? and not every feed can finish 120ml de, usually few of these feeds split into 2...force feed here n there....throw away the balance bm kind
 
pixie
I think I'm the one who peifu u. Can bring 2 out all by yourself ! You can even carry 2 together !

Usually FTWM will always do things "chop chop" no time for all these nonsense de. So the child also learn to do things chop chop. I am actually thinking my way of handling him is it too lenient. Still got to spend time talk/play every morning. I also like to chop chop drink milk brush teeth and change. These can be done within 20mins ! But given the situation he will resist even further if I wan him to chop chop do things de. The more I press for time the more he uncooporate one.
 
pixie,
haha welcome to my world. that's wat i do with both my kids. we just came back from the amk macs and playground. took bus and train cos hb took the car to changi. i sarong #2 all the way, #1 walk by herself. only up the bus and onto the train i carry #1.

#1 play at the sand playground until super tired already, tell me mummy my legs are tired. so i let her sit on my shoulders with #2 in the sarong and walk back to the macs. washup at the macs toilet then settle both down for lunch.

after lunch, take bus and train back again. #1 tired already, dun want to walk. carry both as usual.
 
chaye,
Sometimes B also throw tantrum, don't want to get dressed for school or wear his shoes. I don't have the patience to coax him liao cos he's always taking his own sweet time when he knows it's time to leave the house. I read a book about setting limits for children like him and tried the method - it works! It goes like this, tell them they have 5-10 mins to get dressed and leave for school, if he throw tantrum or take their own sweet time, let them be. When the time is up, pack any clothes or shoes not yet worn and leave the house with them in their half-dressed state. They will get the message and co-operate the next time (hopefully
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).

I tried it once when B started whining when I was wearing his shoes for him. Only finished one side so I just took the other shoe and sock, opened the door and tell him it's time to go. He got a shock that I'm making him leave the house with only one shoe on so he panic and begged me to wear the other shoe for him. Lesson learnt and he knows I'm not joking when I say it's time to go.
 
Chaye,
We just don't give them choice. It's like, it's time to leave home, kids. But having said that, we don't ask them to do anything in the morning. We just wake them up when we are ready to leave the house. Of course they often said don't want to go school, but we will do the talking during the 10min or so car ride. If still whines when we drop them, okay loh, you continue to whine loh, mama and baba are going to work now, see you later.

I think it's normal for kids to refuse going to school. To me, I would be very sad if one day HR tells me I don't want to stay home, I wanna go school :p


Pixie,
Well done!!! Soon you will be more confident. I have tried bringing 2 kids to the Zoo and East Coast, and the neighbouring park. I only tried taking MRT alone with 2 of them from Yew Tee station to CCK station, keke, not so good in public transport. Choose the right timing (eg not overlapping with dinner time) and when they are in good mood. Of course if my hub is round, I would be much happier lah.

It's the mindset. If you think you can do it, you can do it. Or when you don't have a choice, you would just do it :)
 
Kam,
i think my girl is one of the weird ones who wants to go to school everyday....hahaha
sometimes in the mornings she lazy to wake up i will tell her "eh if u dun wake up u can't go to school!" and she will actually jump out of bed and get ready quickly.
 
Actually kids always whine and say they don't want to go to school but in fact they really enjoy themselves there.

B had his sports day cum National Day celebrations on Mon and I was one of the parent volunteers who helped the 2 teachers with the kids. There were 2 teachers and 2 parent volunteers for 16 kids. A couple of them cried and didn't want to leave their parents who were there to cheer for them. I also think they were overwhelmed with the crowd but once they settled down they had lots of fun. I thought I would go nuts surrounded by 16 kids but I really had fun with them
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They were tired and restless after their event and had no interest watching other kids and the parents' race so B and I played london bridge with them and they wouldn't stop
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Kept saying auntie play some more...LOL. And it's amazing to see that they each have their own unique personality even at this young age. And it's true that most kids are at their best behaviour in school, they really listen and follow to teacher's instructions although they may not do so at home.
 
yvonne
i tried the setting limit thingy on x last time, it works on/off


but generally, ive been taught that setting limits is what a parent should do. chaye, you can consider...i'll whatsapp u later, got something to share with u
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kam
thanks! since fri till now, i've brought the 2 kids out alone twice liao. always via public transport. i find that i tend to give myself and x1 more freedom, and be more spontaneous...i think its good coz when we are out as family, my hb wants to hold x1 hands all the time, cannot run or wander off...so my "alone" time with kids, x1 can have a balance of being "carefree"...

grumpus
is your A getting heavier now? u sling her, got use 1 hand to support her? or sling like me where no need hand but shoulders aching after 3hrs kind?
x1 dont need me to bao bao. usually i will piggyback or let him sit on my shoulders if need be.
 
yvonne/kam
After reading your posts I think I may have spoilt T. Giving him 1hr to prepare mentally and physically on weekdays. But I have started this I duno how to stop it le. I can only reduce the timing by 15mins slowly.

Yvonne
I can give him 5-10 mins to get ready but most likely he will not move. And if time's up and I pack and go he will sure cry his lungs out and resist further and the rest of our day is gone.
 
chaye
how does he resist further? cant you just pluck and and drag him? i know it sounds cruel but our tods have to learn that they cannot whine n cry and delay. this is the realistic world. in the soft, dreamy world, we have all the luxury of time to coax them....alas...how can that be for a lifestyle in SG?

is it because he does not look forward to the next itinerary?

if he doesnt like only the routine but enjoys himself at school, perhaps ignoring this attitude maybe worth a try?
 
Chaye,
By giving him 1 hr to prepare, does it give you the desired outcome ie. he leaves the house happy?? No right? He will still whine and cry some more right? If the end result is the same (ie. he's unhappy but still got to leave for school), why not reduce the 1 hr ordeal to 10 mins? That's what I learnt from the book. Our kids are just trying to push our limits and they will continue to push it further if we allow them to. Not all kids are like that but ours are so we need to know how to deal with them. They don't need 1 hr to prepare mentally or physically, they already know what to expect cos it's a daily routine so the extra time will only give them more opportunity to test your patience. We have to be firm and let them know their tantrums, whining and wasting our time will not get them what they want. Just have to be consistent cos they will try to push your limits again the next day, the day after, etc etc.
 
grumpus,
Haha! Ya, your girl is the weird one :) HR said he wants to go to school maybe 5 days in a year. Almost all mornings he would say can't he don't go school, he still wants to sleep, etc. Think the form teacher and students (and the school in general) do make a different. There was a month that he even cried badly everyday when I dropped him. Now when I looked back, there was the month when his ex form teacher has left for good, and he didn't like to new teacher, after that, changed to another teacher, he likes this one more cos he keeps telling me teacher L said this, teacher L said that. After the change of teacher, he no longer cried. But last week I just found out his best friend promoted to K1 already, think he is also adjusting to that.


Chaye,
Depend on what works best for T bah. No necessarily that shorter time means better mah. Some may think that my kids go to school without brushing teeth and changing clothes in the morning is the worst thing leh. Don't have to change drastically. Just to let him understand you have to go to work and so he has to follow the routine set out for him. Sometimes when the kids request, we will allow them to bring a toy or book with them to school.
 
pixie,
when A2 was very small, i sling her. then i used a carrier from 3-6mths. recently i went back to sling cos it's easier to stuff into the bag.
she's 7.7kg now, i sling her dun need hand to support. if i hv A1 with me, i need to be hands free. so it's the after 3 hrs, shoulder aching type. wat i do is if we're sitting down somewhere, or eating lunch, i will let her out of the sling and put her in high chair or something to give my shoulder a break.

kam,
i agree the school and teachers definitely play a part. A1 used to be very timid, insist i follow her everywhere, cannot let me out of her sight type. but since she started sch she's gotten a lot more independent and has matured alot. i credit tat to the sch and teachers
 
I guess most FTWM have to use the pluck & drag method since we do not have much time to spare. Even since, I am preggie and work at 8am on Mon, Wed & Fri, hubby takes over to send J to CC so I am not so sure if he whines too much. but he used to cried alot if his daddy drops him off in school cos J sticks to him...We had sold our car since we have not be driving so often, decide to cut down on this part of the expenses. So hubby settle J on the stroller and walk to CC, at times, he take a bus and walk between the blocks. Last time, we use to drive him there, so little time to spare.
 
Mom2Nat,
yes she's 7.7kg at 7 mths
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in fact just a mth ago she was 6.8kg only cos she lost weight when she was sick, and then i got sick and she lost even more
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Grumpus
Mine lost weight when LS for 1 wk oso. I m in a dilemma now, dunno wan to bring the older 2 go hol or bring all. Sigh
 
Grumpus,
My girl is like your girl. Never once said she does not want to go school. In fact like today, there is no school, she will ask why leh?
And when waking her up, she will jump up once hearing the word "late already, teacher is closing door" or "cannot go school" etc...
 
Krystle/Grumpus
I'm just so envy.

Just now I told T there's no sch tmr (cos he's coughing badly with running nose) and guess what he says ?! He says but I LOVE my school !!!! I pengsanz leh. I am expecting him to answer me Ok. He's likes to 唱反调
 
<font color="0000ff">nez</font>,

Read my blog post about our stay at the Philea resort and spa hotel - http://www.thekamfamily.com/2011/08/3d2n-trip-to-historical-malacca.html.

In generally, it's good, really resort style. Standard service and amenities. Location wise, it's right beside the ayer keroh toll, about 30min drive to the city centre. To us, it's perfect location, cos we can explore the outdoor (near to the butterfly farm, botanical garden, zoo, mini malaysia, corcodile farma and the newly open waterpark) first before exploring the city. Let me know if you want to know anything in particular, k.
 
morning mummies
another day of working from home today

chaye
hope T get well soon. btw, i have to agree with yvonne n kam, we must set the right routine. he resist, you just let him drag you down. he obviously knows he can "climb on top of your head". im not asking you to shout n explode to him; just give him ample warning of the next itinerary, if dont follow, pluck n go to the next one. if still crying while doing the next one, help him or push his hands to do it. just keep quiet when he cries, screams, shout. then another ample warning for itenery#3....if still cry, ignore. only can say "i will only talk to you when you have stopped crying"...then finish itenery#4, 5, 6 etc until reached school
repeat the same process everyday until he gets it. you maybe having the shouting n crying for eg 1-2 weeks but end results is he knows he has to follow your routine; mummy call the shots; no use crying/screaming/shouting; mummy will only talk to me if i stopped crying
kids have to be in a clear routine to feel the sense security; even though they dont look like it now

btw, we were being reinforced about the above during the sat parenting workshop
 
Hi mummies

Sorry to interrupt. I have been following your thread although my girl was born in Mar08. I read previously that some of the mummies here have brought their child to dentist. Please can you share with me your child's dentist? Thanks.
 
Pixie
Talking bat routine, my hb usually bathes E in the evenings n has a routine wat comes first... Today I wore his socks 1st n he whined "daddy always wears this then this then carry me up the bed to wear the socks! " so law by law! Which is gd cos the kids knows wats coming up, easier to manage.
 
mom2nat
same here. if my hb showers x1, x1 will say not like this, not like that etc to my hb. then my hb will ask me issit like this, issit like that
routine = sense of security hor

hows ur D?
 
btw, if any of the mummies here want to spree from carters, pls let me know, i see if i can do a batch for jan08 mummies, since some are new mothers (grumpus, mom2nat) and some soon to be (verene, elmo78)
coz i have some discount code to use leh., i think 20% off
 
Hi, everyone. MIA for 2 days. Brought the gals for a picnic at Pasir Ris beach on national day. They enjoyed the tent. Too bad the water is so dirty and full of floating seaweed that RA refused to touch it. -_-

Kam, welcome back. Can see that you had a good trip.
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Pixie, wish I can join for carters spree but no newborn. hee. Oshkosh also has 20% off?

Do you know how to take out battery for iphone? I dropped my iphone4 just now and no wonder how I press the button, it cannot switch on. Hiaz, think warranty expired liao leh...
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Worked the whole day yesterday and visited 2 showflats. Got new EC Arc@Tampines launching opp Temasek Poly and a new Condo The Luxurie opp Sengkang MRT. If anyone is keen, please PM or sms me cos I am part of the marketing team. Especially for SK Condo, just give me a cheque and I can book the unit with the floor and view you want before the showflat is even open to public. No need to squeeze with the crowd. hehe.
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Today, I'll be Tampines MRT from 5-8pm doing roadshow for Arc@Tampines. Those who walk by, pls come and say hello.
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kitsune
must snoop around, should have. but oshkosh = 1 spree, carters = 1 spree coz cannot apply 2 discount code per batch, mah fan de!


IPHONE BATTERY CANNOT TAKE OUT!!!
 
Pixie, thanks, I was desperate and plugged the dead phone into its charger. After a few seconds, it miraculously came back to life. PHEW!

grumpus, thanks but sometimes the designs a bit babyish, I'll go and look see look see tonight if free.
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kitsune
unless drop into water, else, ur iphone shld be able to work no matter how you drop it

grumpus
i buy too much, now got so many girls clothing that no "turn" to wear!
 
Pixie,
I hv 2 girls lor. Some of lexie's old clothes r hardly worn. N I bought some more for Aly! Hb already complaining.
 
Anyone who wants to pass down girl's clothes/dresses etc, let me know, I want, I want! I hardly buy anything for my girl. She's so poor thing :p I don't mind old clothes. Or if you have anything for HR, I also don't mind :)
 
mummies,
I have many pretty dresses for gals to give away. Anyone wants it? All very good condition and pretty ex to throw away. My hb loves to buy from chateau de sable. But my gal is pretty small size. Also available are pants for gals too.
 
Shannonbaby and grumpus,
Yes, I want! But my gal very big size leh :-( Can only take those with big cutting ones. But if you don't mind, I can take all, cos my cousin have a 2 months old baby, and she is inheriting XY's clothes :)
 
Grumpus,
She can just fit in to 2yo size (turning 2yo this month). Those bigger cutting still okay, but those small cutting I am not sure. Some of her clothes are 3yo size already ;-p
 
 


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