yvonne
judging by what u said, i seriously dont think B has got any disorders at all. Except for the running in circles part. Thats kinda worrying, then again, maybe he jus loves it. Kids this age loves routines and repetitive things. Their brain is developing more than their physical body (as opposed to their first year of life where we see them grow and grow). So they find the need to repeat things to feel calm. Think about it, this is the age most people would tell them "wahhhh u big boy/girl liao", must do this and that ie potty trained lah, go to school independently lah, etc It's a BIG deal to them. Inside, he may find all these chaotic and disturbing, hence he finds it necessary to be in control of the things that is important to him. It maybe something as simple as pressing the traffic light button. It may not be a big deal to u, but losing that may be a BIG deal to him. I find myself keep reminding myself this when i deal with Rylee, that is to look at the world from HER eyes instead of mine. It IS pretty scary world if u look at it from a preschooler POV. Tats why changes are disturbing to them and the need to maintain a routine to some kids. From the incident above (but of cos, i'm no child expert!!) it sounds like he might not be autistic at all (cant say about ADHD though) cos he can tell u "dont look at me!" when he's crying but come to u crying when u ignore him. Tats social skills! I think u jus need to pick ur battles with B. Things like this happen with Rylee too last times and what i find useful is i would squat down to her eye level to speak to her, and tell her i know the thing is very important to her and that she likes to press the lift button and that she's upset i pressed it first (for example). The books say it is prudent to acknowledge their feelings about it and show empathy, and then i'd apologized for forgetting that and pressed it first. I'll say i'm sorry and then i think of alternatives to make her feel better, like if there's another lift, i'd tell her "how about i let u do it the next round, ok?" Or if there's no more lifts to press, i'd suggest something else and rem my promise to her. These days, she'd be calmer and will agree with me more. Last time it would be total meltdowns. I'd like to think my methods work? And that she knows i understand how important it is to her?
If after doing all that she still cry, i'd let her be. I would tell her calmly that she can stand there and cry and i'd wait for her to calm down before we can go home. Key thing is to keep YOURSELF calm, to show him how u handle frustrations. Maybe u can try doing the same to B. I know u think he's jus being stubborn. And that it's hard to endure his meltdown. But it can be easier one. Dont give up. Bear in mind whenever u change any tactics, it'll ALWAYS get worse before it gets better. I always tell rylee whenever she gets difficult that when she yells and cries, she knows she doesnt get anything and that i couldnt understand her. Only aft she calms down, she'd approach me again. I also find that amidst all the crying and the screaming, WHATEVER u said to him would be pointless, he/she wouldnt be able to hear a single thing ur saying. So, now i keep quiet. The explanation can come later when he can calm down.
Sorry for the lengthy posting. I jus dont want u to worry so much and get urself all stressed up over B. As for his lining up toys, i think perhaps it may just be becos he's a VERY tedious perfectionist? Lining up things is just ONE symptom. My sister is also a person who likes to tidy up her magazines in a straight row and throws a fit if its out of line, and i'm pretty sure she's not autistic!
However, it's still best u bring him to a professional to get their opinions as it'll soothe ur worries and get in out of ur system
Kam
Haha, Rylee was a good girl that day cos she wants to go to the party! And the fact that i offered an alternative for her! Hehehehe And i think HR is just being difficult cos it has been a few tiring days with insufficient sleep in HK! Aiyah many 1001 reasons for kids to have tantrums lo, right? As long as we all can still hold it in!
Actually, Rylee still rems HR but in a not so positive way lah hehe. We were driving home from school today and she said i dont want yday that boy-boy break my toys anymore. I asked which boy, then she rems Hao Re name! And then i realised she meant "snatch" instead of break.
