(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

A conversation with Elliot
E: mommy, I want a scissors. I want to cut paper.
Mom: No, too dangerous.
E: But I will be careful.
Mom: No, children cannot play with scissors.
E: I am not playing, I want to cut something!!
Mom: #@$#%^*%&^%

My hb and mil laugh at me, cos dunno wat to answer him liao.
 


Kam,
I flew to HK via UA before.
Find it so-so only. Still think SQ is better.
happy.gif


Chaye,
I been to Bali but that was 10 over years before... That time the package was FOC thrown in with HK (SG-HK-Bali-SG). So not sure what is the price... but I think norm is around $500/pax for a 3Nights stay. Got if you fly by budget, what you have looks fine.
 
A conversation with X today:
m: dont slam the door when you are taking out your shoes, slowly, slowly
x: slowly, slowly
m: *closes the metal gates, snapped closed the padlock*
x: mama, slowly slowly, dont slam the door, ok!!

faintz
nowadays i kena scolded by X when mil condo side gate slams automatically or my padlock clicks too loud. coz i slamming wor
 
PIxie
Tat reminds me, E "scolded" mil tat day. She left the tv on and he went " Who? who din off the tv when not watching??!!"
Mil was shock and told him, it was her. He went "Next time when no one is watching, you must off the TV!!!"
 
mom2nat,
That's actually true woh. He is not playing, he wants it to cut something mah. As I shared, HR has 2 personal scissors to himself at the age of 2. He can cut out anything. Latest one is cut out a nice Agent Oso from the magazine, with all his hands and legs intact. Actually cutting with scissors is very good for their fine motor skills.
 
Kam
Elliot's motor skills not v good, only recently then use pencil. He will attempt to take a nail clipper to cut my wires!!! You say scary or not! I need to watch him, or he is up to something. I told hb he say dun worry, got circuit breaker!!
 
mom2nat,
That's why you have to give him the right tool! Give him pair of scissors and tell him he can only cut paper. If not you take back the scissors. That works well for HR.
 
Kam,
Thanks for the detailed website! Yes usually DIY package is cheaper n more flexible. I tried zuji website before. Will do my homework when I have a firm date for travel. Now just a rough guide for me to gauge how much I need to spend for a family of 4 to HK Disneyland.

Hey pixie,
I love both cempedak n jackfruit all the same but I will pick durian as my favourite!
 
mom2nat,
C's fine motor skills also not very good last time. After looking at her sch report last year, I realised she's lacking in scissor skills, so I bought her a pair of scissors. She was very happy. The whole day cut and cut and cut and cut... loves to cut paper into fine pieces. Loves cardboard also! Now she can handle the scissors quite well. Get E his own scissors, I think he can handle it himself too.
happy.gif


Mummies here.. can I ask how you all give antibiotics to your kids ah? Any way to make drinking antibiotics easier?

My gal vomitted on the first mouth of antibiotics today. Subsequent attempts to feed her the antibiotics, she ran real fast and cried like mad.
 
mcfluffy
i use the reasoning tactic...
after ard 5-10mins of reasoning n prep talk...usually my boy will take coz no matter how he wanna escape he know eventually he has to take meds
 
Mcfluffy
Yup, he can manage the scissors now. My #1 has many pairs so she took 1 for him tat day.
Dunno isit 2nd child, I m more relaxed w him, not too concerned abt milestones, he doesn't have a single enrichment n I dun ask sch teacher wat he learns. I only ask him if it was fun, he went playground, wat he ate.
With #1, she had Shichida, Julia gab, GUG... Now I lazy Liao! Haha... With Elliot, I like to stay at home with him, hug him, smell him...
happy.gif


I oso use reasoning to coax them to take med. Like quick drink then can take biscuits when better, or else need injection!! Haha
 
Mom2nat
Haha same here. A bit bochap for #2 like close 1 eye like tat but if he's notti I'll still whack him. Then wat will happen to your #3 huh? Super bochap ?

Mcfluffy
Try some mashmellow after the med? It works for T when he needs to take bitter Chinese medicine.
 
Mom2nat,
You are right...I only brought him to JG last year. I have no time to read to #2, so he only knows Ben 10, Power Ranger,Transformer and Cars..Sigh...I'm afraid to call the school, in case the teacher tells me he does not recognise "A,B,C" etc...
 
Morning mummies!
Today seems abit quiet.

I share the same sentiments. More bochap for #2. Still thinking if I should enrol him in any enrichment classes. But he is so sticky to me and active, I don't think those sit-down classes suit him at all.
 
morning mummies!!
i hope im not so bochup for #2....but i think i will be. coz right now, for #2, im eating all the gunk and the junk. #1 not like that one leh...

but this time round, i have booked a photographer to come my place for baby shots for #2....something i never did for #1

compensation? heehee


so krystle
what time ur hb reached home on tuesday nite?
 
yesterday, my hb tok to me about finances

apparently, we wanted to tell mil that since we have maid, we will not pay for the share of maid#1....but even before we "open our mouth", she oredi told us...she got no $$ and hope that we can increase our contribution to her.

right now we are giving 500. 300 is the $$ for her, and 200 is for the share of maid#1

so, even 200 we still have to give her, and futhermore request us to top up...

me n hb sianz totally...she didnt say its a must but since your parent open mouth n ask you for $$, cannot reject rite

we have new bills to pay, mainly the maid and x's cc....its extra 700-800 per mth. our take home income oredi not enough, and slowly eating into our savings liao...how to give her extra $$

we quite fedup lor. coz my sil now staying with my mil coz of the newborn, only giving her 700
and all along we never stay with mil, oredi forking out 500 leh...if we increase, become almost on par with her but she is staying there lei!

the prob is all coz, mil's bedridden mother stays with us and mil's siblings agreed to contribute $$ to mil coz we looking after her...but in the end no one is paying any $$, except for 1 uncle. but he just got retrenched. so no more $$ from him

my mil very poor thing. but we poor thing too!
i told my hb we will help. but bear in mind, his family is THIS family now. must be clear about this fact

yesterday we sat down n wrote down take home pay. credit n debit liao....cfm its eating into my own savings lor...how??


sighs...sorry for ranting
 
as much as i pity my mil, as much as i understand that my uncle is being retrenched, as much as i know my sil & hb dont earn much, i still feel that its very unfair to ask us to come up with extra $$

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

how to earn more $$?? how? how? how?
 
RE: #2
No lah, we are not bo-chap lah, just that can't give #2 as much attention that we gave to #1 loh, it's a hard fact, cos simply not enough time. Plus that already did one round of trial and error thing with #1, so don't have to repeat this on #2 again mah (eg those classes etc).


Pixie,
Emm, maybe you have to ask your hub to tell his mum that not now? Tell her frankly you are still working out the finances and can only give her more $ when you all have sorted out the finances, so for now, there is no change.
 
kam
after yesterday, we oredi sorted out finances liao
she didnt say its compulsory, her tone was more like a request for help. how to reject ur own mother rite

so hb will pay 100 more. eg 600

but during mar, april, may, june, we will give her only 300 coz we not stay there, not eating there. so the basic 300 still will give her

then hb will hand over 4mths x 300 to me to defray the cost of delivery, massage lady, tingkat lunch/dinner, my mom's confinement fees

not much but will help a bit lor
 
morning mummies
ASk you all. Do you ask your toddler, like say 5-10mins after whacking them "do you know why mummy whack you ?"

I whacked T last nite for beating his sister when I have already asked him not to beat. He still went ahead to beat beat beat her. So furious I beat his hand real hard and told him that I have asked him not to do so he still went ahead w/o listening to me. He yell and cry and I ask him to go to his sofa for time out. He refused and still crying, I beat him so many times till he bobian go to his sofa. Later when I ask him does he know why mummy beat him. He said duno. Do you think they really duno at this stage ? I felt really bad for hitting him so many times. In fact until now I still feel bad for beating him so hard.. I ask myself WHY do I have to do such horrible act to a 3 yr old. Does he know what is happening or not ? Can he really recall ? I asked him again this morning he again said duno... Do you think toddler are capable of going into a state of denial or not ?
 
chaye
my boy definitely know
eg he slammed the shoe cabinet door yesterday, on purpose. so i firmly raise my voice to show displeasure.
he still gimme the laffing face. then he realised i wasnt joking, started to whine

i squat down n asked him if he knows why i scolded him. he said "cannot slam the door, slowly slowly"
then i asked him "what must you say"
he said "sorry, mama" <---this one trained sop. dunno he knows whats the essence of "sorry"
then he wanted to cry liao so i softened my tone and say "next time dont slam the door, then mama wont scold you, ok"
he nodded his head and then i told him to go off n play
next second forget that i just reprimanded him liao

winner rite
 
oh chaye
i doubt my boy will know why i smack him 10mins ago, unless...there is no "break" inbetween the situation

my hb like to ask x...u remember yesterday, papa beat u coz u xxx, now you doing it again ah??

i think its crap. my boy wont remember that
or rather, my boy dont remember why 10mins ago why i smacked him. unless 10mins ago till now we are still on the same matter. then its a different story lar
 
pixie
my hubby also say child at his age should know just that he finds our boy always like to be in denial state. He can cry like mad for 20mins then once stopped, he can play in next 5 mins and as if nothing has happened at all. Is X like that har ? my #1 not like that one. She will still sob for rem what can do what not to do the next time one.
 
Pixie. That's why they always repeat the same wrong doings right ?

I told my hubby last nite that I regretted beating him so hard. I will be more patient with our kids from today onwards. I will TRY MY BEST not to lay another finger on them. I CAN DO IT. Just that I feel very lousy now
sad.gif
 
Pixie,

He came home at 11pm+ everytime. So that time also the same.

Starting to feel the heat of money burning ya?
Well, to be frank once X2 is born, more to come.
That day hubby and I were also working on the finances (without sharing his salary amt, DUH). Right now our monthly contribution is also slightly not enough and he has been topping up a few hundreds dollars monthly too. So he asked me to top up $100 but I told him I am tied too. Told him got to wait until Jun to see if I have any increment then decide. :p Am I bad?

Looking at our finances, the 2 biggest portion are car and insurance. If we do away either one, then everything will be nice. However, we still cannot forgo either one as well. Just imagine our insurance for both kids added up to $800/mth!!! Abit high right? And that is besides hubby and I still put in $200 cash into the kids' a/c every month. Our kids got $1K each every month! Gosh... But we are not willing to cut that as I really never put aside any other savings for them.

Your MIL complain is also valid but I think your hubby need to discuss with his sis to see how to share the additional contribution. Can't really rely on relatives' contribution to your hubby's granny coz people will escape from responsibility. Unless your MIL talks to them as as them to rotate taking care.
 
chaye
my boy will forget that he's being hit. but if its really a good beating esp from me, he will remember till the next day or long long past

but those minor ones, he can forget within the next minute

selective memory, short memory...whatever u call that lor

but definitely my boy will know why he is being punished. coz i punish immediately....i dont like the style "later i cane you" or "later then u will get it from mama/papa"...
coz later, i doubt kids will know what they did wrong xx mins ago

eg got consecutive 2 nights i smacked him really hard coz he refused to sleep after trying for 1-1.5hrs...
from that time onwards, if he dilly dally, i will ask him "do you want mummy to smack you?" and pat his thigh...he will say no and then quickly go to sleep liao

so those "gao gao" ones he will have imprints in his memory
 
krystle
hmmm u guys put $200 into their a/c, how do they get 1k every mth? i blur liao...

my sil we cannot tok to her. she dont like to tok to us for the longest time ever. and she never been paying much. she is very sensitive, petty, stubborn n jumpy. my hb's stance is - we do our best then can liao. if the rest of the ppl still 不自动 then theres nothing we can do

my hb oso got another brother mah. whole family staying at mil place that one...
my hb never ask how much his bro contribute but i heard quite a bit. i really hope quite a bit lor...
coz this bro is also paying maid#1 levy liao. maid#1 under his name mah
but 3pax (his family) stay full time at mil place, should at least give 1k bah? pls lor, we dont stay there, eat 1 meal a day...oredi 500 leh!
 
Chaye,
I think there is a difference behaviour for boy and girl.

My girl will know what she does wrong. Alot of time she very "hong sim" and just did that naughty acts out of fun. But when I raised my voice, she will freeze immed and started to sob... Then I will let her why I scolded her and she will understand and apologise.

I think our toddlers do have some understanding of what should not be done. Just that they will push their limits at time. When T replied duno, I think it is more of he does not want to think back that you just beat him and trying to forget the incident?
 
bte krystle
yesterday my hb summed it up nicely - 老一辈的债推在我们身上
my mil tok to her siblings but they no see her up...she oso LL bo bian
their prob became our prob lor
 
chaye
i use my palm to smack his hands. coz he used hands to slam door
i only smack hands...or legs
other places i dont touch

i dont like my hb, he likes to pinch my boy's face...got 1 time, he slapped my boy

i so angry....never forget that episode
 
pixie
How many siblings does your hubby has ? the rest also need to contribute ma. cannot bua bodoh one leh. Can you all dun go there for meal ? now you got maid just stay at home ?
 
pixie
How many siblings does your hubby has ? the rest also need to contribute ma. cannot bua bodoh one leh. Can you all dun go there for meal ? now you got maid just stay at home ?
 
Pixie,
No lah, the $1K is meaning our output of contribution to the kids, be it insurance or savings a/c.

Your MIL's hse can stay so many people??? How many room is there???
But hoh seriously I also think YOur MIL should start by asking extra from those under her roof, then lastly to your hubby since not staying around. But like your hubby said, both of you did what you can liao.
 
Chaye,
Children learn from parents!! I have never beaten HR, so he doesn't have to "habit" to beat others when he is angry. But I did beat XY a bit when I was fedup with her poor sleeping habit. She now beats other people when she is angry!

See, you beat T repeatedly till you get your message across. So he beat his sister repeatedly till he vented his anger! My hub always warns me, DO NOT start beating them at all, cos once you start, you will do it again and again, which is true. I am very bad tempered towards XY, so it's become a bad habit that I scold/shout/yell at her more, and she learns from me! On the other hand, I never really scolded HR, so I am very calm when I am with him. When he does something wrong, I just ignore him, he will come to me, and say sorry mama, and I ask him to tell me what he has done wrong, and he said it correctly.
 
chaye
1 sis, 1 bro
the sis + #1 + #2 currently staying there coz her #2 is newborn. one of the 2 babies my mil gotta take care when we go back to work...

i dont like her at all. she dun like to tok to us one. she got very foul attitude kind. even my hb oso dun like to tok to her

krystle
my mil place is HUDC leh
1 masterbedroom now is occupied by sil + #1 + #2 + mil
1 bedroom bil + family
1 bedroom is granny + maid
just nice lor

i agreed totally
i got check with my hb about mil asking the bro n the sis but seems like bro oredi contributing quite a bit and sis is not budging. she paid 700 like ive said....
wah lau, cheap man
we paying 500 and we only eat 1 meal a day, and thats all ok!
 
kam
thanks. I will learn my mistakes too. I shall not vent my anger this way. You didnt scold or beat HR cos he's a sensible boy. T is different, he's quite tidak apa kind. He wont even notice if I ignore him.
 
kam
im trying to veer towards your style, coz thats what i believed eventually.
right now i smack lesser n lesser coz i realised, x is very afraid of me being angry at him

but he can never escape from being smacked coz my hb believes in corporate punishment kind of discipline so all the best i can do to help is to be the gentle one
 
pixie
u didnt mention his sister's hubby ? cos u say the master is occupied by sil+#1+#2+mil. Hubby working overseas ?
 
chaye
oh the sister hb goes back to their own home in cck after dinner
he visits his family after work, no stayover. too inconvenient lar to stay at mil place
 
chaye,
Ya, I know, each kid is different. We try out best. Jia you!! Last night when I was putting the kids to bed, I just said to myself that HR probably is one of the problem-less child a mum could expect, I love him deep deep :)


pixie,
I remember you didn't smack X before until recently when he was out of control right? That's why I think my hub said is correct, once you start, you will add that as one of your methods to discipline the kid, and it's hard to take it out. Yes, we work hard together, I have to be gentler and kinder to my girl, and stop beating (even lightly also cannot) her altogether.
 
Pixie,
Slapping is a "must-not-do" punishment at all times!!! What did X do that made your hubby so mad?

Smacking at limbs or buttock is still acceptable. My bro will pull his boys' ears real hard when they are naughty. I don't like it and see already very heartpain too. Will always ask my girl to go to my bro and tell him not to get mad. My bro super love my girl one. If not, his boys will kena more caning or beating. But I know my bro is very hot temper one, hard to change.
 
pixie
then why dont your sil still continue to stay at mil place har ? so weird cos they have their own place at cck. cos they need your mil to care for their #1&amp;#2 ? Can also bring home after dinner ma.

Kam
Yes Jia You ! I will try. I will also be more patient and gentle. NO more beatings.

Do you think I can tell T tat when I see him doing something wrong "mummy will not talk to you since you beat jie jie" then I walk away ?
 
kam
yes no smack X until recently coz of his tantrums
but recently, stopped too coz he "returned" to usual self....if i see he stop his tantrums i oso very happy so naturally dont "bear" to beat him liao!
that thigh smacking was during his tantrum period. until now he still remember the beatings so he will go to sleep when i reminded him about it LOL

krystle
dont listen to papa lor. papa say 1, must do 1
papa say 2, must do 2

the quarrels we had recently for the past half yr only about this one. i hate his corporate style, he hates my soft style
we have agreed to disagree with one another. when he discipline, i keep quiet. when i discipline, he keep quiet.
usually i discipline first. if x still dont listen to me, papa take over n then chaos lai liao

so nowadays i always tell x...do you want papa to take over mama n scold/beat u?
then x quickly stopped his nonsense

hb say he is the "executioner"
true in a sense
 
Kam,
I am also lesser patient to my boy. When he was younger, his sleeping habits were terrible and I was practically beating his hands, thigh, buttock and yell at him in the middle of night. Like your hubby, my hubby also said should not do it and I really tried. But also recently he sleeps better so such episode is hardly seen.

But hoh my boy likes to push my girl around and snatch her stuff. I know he is still young and yet cannot use reasoning coz he cannot understand fully. If he does that, I will try to raise my voice abit to warn him If does not work, I normally beat him lightly on hand. Then he will know he did something wrong and came hugging me for forgiveness. Then I will tell him what he did wrong and ask him to sayang his sis, which he will listen.
 
chaye
her 1st mth confinement at mil place mah. after CNY she finished her confinement, supposed to go back on her own home @ cck one de...but now, still stuck at mil home...
i kept telling hb, heng we no depend on MIL for my confinement else how to ask her to shift out coz im delivering next week??

tio bo?
 


pixie
ya.. me too. always quarrel with hubby on disciplinary actions on T. sigh... are these part and parcels of life for parents with kids ?!?!
 
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